Chapter 4 Penelope
Penelope
The rhythm of slapping club sandwiches together is a welcome distraction, right up until the front doors swing open. Our hacker and the beautiful blonde who’ve been hiding out in the mountains for the last week and some days make their grand appearance.
A wave of celebration erupts around me for Ghost’s return, but the sound feels distant. My hands still, my whole world narrowing to the sight of him with Eliza.
There’s no denying the way he keeps her pressed to his side, his arm a possessive band around her waist. The way they both beam, they look perfect together.
A genuine, uncomplicated happiness radiates from them, so potent it’s like a physical warmth in the room. And in the pit of my stomach, something cold and sharp twists in response. It’s not malice, not for them. It’s a hollow, aching jealousy that steals my breath.
They look like they’re completely in love, like nothing else in the world matters.
My sister materializes beside me, drawn by the commotion. “Think this is a visit, or are things going back to normal?” She snatches a cherry from our stock, nibbling on the fruit.
With Eliza in the picture, they wouldn’t risk leaving the mountain just to return.
“Staying, most likely,” I mumble, my voice thick.
“I mean, we kind of need him. Without Ghost, we’re pretty much blind.
” My gaze is stuck on them, on the easy way Ghost chats with Warden, his touch never leaving Eliza’s body.
We watch in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the break of demanding club members as they put their attention on the couple, instead.
“You think she’s at fault for this whole thing?” Raven stares at Eliza, but for once, there’s no spite in her tone as we both take in his blushing girlfriend. “None of this mess would be happening if he didn’t bring her here.”
Pursing my lips, I fold my hands on top of the bar, needing to ground myself. “I think… everyone who joins us always comes with a cause and effect. Some cases are more extreme. I mean, look at us.”
My sister frowns, hating anything to do with our past. In her head, when Judge and Ripper faked our deaths, everything that had happened before should have disappeared with it.
“I don’t think that other club is attacking because of Eliza, or because of all those women Hammer and Warden set free.
I think…” I sigh softly, my eyes drifting away from the happy couple, searching instinctively for the one person who makes my world tilt.
“Judge is hiding some things from most of us. There might be something that happened before us, you know? If he’s holding information, there must be a good reason for it. ”
Then again, we’re just the bartenders. We’ve heard Crimson Road thrown around on repeat. Some have muttered Blaze’s name, but all I know is that they’re trouble. A nasty bunch from Meadow Falls.
She scoffs and rolls her eyes. “You are too soft on him. Maybe if you asked him and put some weight on it, he’d tell you.”
Speak of the devil, and my skin prickles.
The low rumble of Judge’s voice cuts through the noise, and my body betrays me in an instant.
My stomach clenches, a familiar, thrilling tension.
My heart kicks into a frantic, heavy rhythm against my ribs, a drumbeat only for him as he makes a sudden appearance from the back.
“You think he’d tell me over anyone else?” I force a scoff, feeling a treacherous heat trickle up my throat.
“Yes,” Raven says, her tone losing its edge as we both watch the burly man. “I do.”
Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I let myself look.
Really look. Judge moves toward Ghost, clamping a hand on his scarred shoulder in a gesture that’s both welcome and approval.
He nods at Eliza, a rare, respectful dip of his chin.
With his broad back turned to us, I’m robbed of the chance to read his lips, to steal some piece of his thoughts.
“They look happy,” Raven muses, leaning against the bar. “Maybe things can feel normal again now that we’re not missing a regular.”
I hum, the sound noncommittal. My mind isn’t on Ghost’s habits.
It’s on the way Judge stands, the sheer, solid presence of him that seems to command the very air in the room.
The couple looks at each other, sharing a soft, private smile despite Judge holding their attention, and the hollow feeling in my chest expands.
“You ever think what it would be like to find that kind of happiness?” The question leaves me in a whisper, leaving me exposed. Finding love isn’t exactly a topic we bring up often.
None of the club members spare a glance at me, and those who even get too close on accident get spooked by Judge with the way he hovers. I’m pretty sure all of the club members are scared of Raven, and for good reason, too.
Raven grunts. “The only people we’re ever around are these guys. You really want to fool around with them? Half of them avoid women like the plague, and the other half can’t keep their hands off of them. Most of the latter can’t stick with just one woman, either. It’s disgusting.”
Surprised by the sourness behind her words, I glance over and notice she’s glaring ahead.
But my thoughts are already circling back to him. Judge doesn’t bother with the club girls. He doesn’t pull them away for a few minutes of his time. Instead, when he’s out on the floor, he usually ends up here. With me. So, where does that leave him? Does he fit into either of Raven’s categories?
The old, familiar doubt slithers in. Could it be that he just doesn’t see me as a woman? In his eyes, I might still be that scared eighteen-year-old, forever hiding in her sister’s shadow, a responsibility rather than a desire.
We watch as Judge releases Ghost and Eliza, his focus shifting to the group of prospects. He crosses his burly arms over his chest, a wall of muscle and intention, and I can guess he’s warning them about Crimson Road. But when the group of them glances toward the bar, toward us, my breath catches.
“They’re up to something.” Tossing the stem, she steals another cherry. “I don’t like it.”
“Judge wouldn’t do something unless it’s necessary.” I grimace as the words leave my lips, but the defense is automatic, a reflex honed over years of unwavering faith in him.
Yet, I feel it too—an uncomfortable, heavy lump of dread in the pit of my stomach that has nothing to do with the club’s enemies and everything to do with the man throwing plans together.
When the bearded president hooks a finger and turns our way, I’m surprised to see Jinx following him. But my focus narrows, tunneling until only Judge exists. I notice the way his gaze sweeps over me, a quick, assessing glance that feels like a physical touch.
He’s a fortress of a man, every feeling locked behind a wall of stoic silence. A desperate, foolish part of me wishes I knew the secret combination, the one thing that would make him unravel for me.
I feel my sister stiffen beside me as they reach the bar.
“We’re taking safe precautions. All of our main girls are being watched over. Everyone is set, but you two.” He looks between us, and my heart stutters when his eyes linger on me a moment longer, the weight of his gaze keeping me from floating away.
He’s giving everyone babysitters? Are we really to that point? The other women are being paired with their lovers, a thought that sends a fresh pang of longing through me. It makes painful sense that Raven and I would need someone assigned to us.
“No.” Raven grits her teeth, already glaring at Jinx. “He’s bad fucking luck. I’m not letting someone like that watch over me. At least give me someone who is patched in. Not a prospect.”
I wince at her words, but Jinx just looks amused.
Judge doesn’t care, either. “He volunteered, be grateful. No one else wants to put up with you. If I ever see you two apart, I’ll handcuff you together, I don’t care.”
Jinx grins. “Kinky. You into that, little bird? Being tied up with someone worth less than you?”
A shiver runs down my spine as Judge’s hand closes around my arm, pulling me a step closer to him on pure instinct. The protective gesture is so swift, so possessive, it makes my head spin. The sound of glass shattering against the bar barely registers.
“She will kill him, Judge. He’s the one guy she actually wants to murder.” My voice is tight with worry for her, but my next breath catches in my throat when he leans in, his attention fully on me now, his presence overwhelming.
“They’ll be fine.” He shakes his head, hardly sounding confident. “This is a safe measure just in case. I need to make sure you’re safe.”
My stomach clenches with a dizzying mix of fear and his specific, focused concern. My heart hammers against my ribs, a traitorous drumbeat screaming yes, yes, yes.
Despite feeling fuzzy, I can’t ignore that my sister has a broken bottle in her grip now, already pointed at the prospect. Is she telling him to keep his distance? Or could she be threatening his life?
“Who do you want to watch over you?” he asks, drawing me back to him, his voice a low rumble meant only for me.
“If they don’t already have their hands full, they’ll keep an eye on you.
” He turns his head, scanning the room. His jaw flexes.
“Warden’s careful. He won’t put you in any danger, but I’m on the fence with him.
He helped Ripper with this mess…” He grumbles, moving on.
“Stacks… Well, no, not Stacks. He can’t use a weapon to save his life.
” His brows furrow. “Stay away from the prospects. They’re not strong enough. ”
Raven growls, but I can barely hear her. I’m watching him, a slow, understanding smile tugging at my lips. With every name he dismisses, the list of suitable protectors dwindles. He’s systematically eliminating every other man in this room for me.
“It’s a shame you’re busy planning all of this.” The words leave me in a breathy rush, bold and unthinking. “I can’t ask you, can I?”
He doesn’t meet my eye this time, instead scratching his bearded cheek as he considers my question. The hesitation doesn’t feel like a rejection, but it must exist for a reason.
There’s still time to take it back. I could laugh it off, tell him I’m kidding, that I don’t expect the club president to babysit a bartender.
But a wild, desperate hope twists in my gut, urging me to push. To shove myself at him. “We already spend a lot of time together, you know?”
He nods, as if he’s already thought about it, and has already run this scenario in his head. “It would be more than just at the bar, though, Pen. I’m talking twenty-four-hour days until we make our move.”
If he’s trying to discourage me, he’s failing spectacularly.
What he’s describing sounds less like a security detail and more like a secret, fervent fantasy I’ve never dared voice.
My cheeks grow warm as the images flood my mind.
Every meal together, every quiet moment, every night… knowing he’s right at my side.
“Yes…” I whisper the word, my nod firm. “If you’re okay with it, then so am I. Plus… Raven trusts you. She won’t throw a fit if it’s you.” It’s a flimsy excuse, and we both know it. This isn’t about placating my sister.
He grunts softly, a low, resonant sound that vibrates right through me. “Alright then. I’ll keep you safe.”
I know he will. The certainty is bone-deep. Out of all the men here, he’s the only one whose promise feels like an unbreakable law. He promised to keep me safe the day I arrived, scared and eighteen, and he has never once broken his word.
Raven’s earlier words settle over me once more, about getting information out of Judge if I tried. That alone sends a thrill through me, wondering what other truths I could uncover, what other walls might crumble if I’m brave enough.
Seven years is a lifetime to nurse a one-sided crush. I’m not that girl anymore. Maybe, under the guise of protection, I can finally get a taste of what it’s like to be seen as a woman by him—to be treated not as a responsibility, but as a desire.
Blushing hot at the thought, I look warily at Raven, worried about the broken bottle in her hand.
“He’ll be alright.” Judge notices my stare. Despite knowing her history, he sounds confident. “I told him that he can do what he has to if she tries anything.”
She’s calmed down over the years, but she’s still Raven. She’s got trust issues, and I’ve lost count of the early mornings her grumblings have woken me about that particular prospect.
This will be fine. It has to be. Trusting Judge with my life is easy. Trusting him with the fragile, hopeful thing beating in my chest is the real risk. And as I stand beside him, I decide it’s a risk I’m finally ready to take.