Chapter 10 - Judge
My whole body hurts.
My ribs are screaming. My shoulder throbs with every movement. My face feels like someone used it as a punching bag—which, to be fair, someone did.
And I don't care.
Not even a little bit.
Because Nora just told me she wants to try. Wants to be a family. Wants to work through the broken pieces together.
And I've never been happier in my entire fucking life.
We're still laughing when Saint opens the door again. Slower this time, like he's terrified of what he might see.
"Are you decent?" he calls without looking in.
"Yes," I manage between chuckles. "We're decent."
Saint peers around the doorframe, sees that we're both clothed, mostly, and steps inside. His face is red. Actually red. I don't think I've ever seen Saint blush before.
"I'm sorry," he says stiffly. "I should have knocked.
I just… Grace ate an entire bag of chocolate and she's currently doing cartwheels in the common room and Canvas can't keep up with her and I thought you should know—" He stops.
Looks at us. At the way Nora's sitting beside me, her hand in mine, both of us still grinning like idiots. "You two look happy."
"We are," I say
"Good. That's good." Saint clears his throat. "But Judge, you need to talk to Phoenix. He's been asking about you since you woke up. And now that you're—" He gestures vaguely at us. "—you definitely need to talk to Phoenix."
Right. Phoenix.
My president.
The man I just brought civilians into the clubhouse to protect, then proceeded to fuck one of said civilians while I was supposed to be recovering.
Yeah. That conversation is going to be fun.
"I'll go now," I say, starting to stand. Nora's hand tightens on mine.
"Are you sure you're okay to walk? Your ribs—"
"Are fine." I lean down and kiss her forehead. "Saint did good work. I'll be sore for a few weeks, but I can move."
"Will Phoenix be angry?" Nora asks quietly. "About us?"
"I don't think so. But he'll have questions. Deserves to have questions." I squeeze her hand. "I just brought a woman and her kid into the clubhouse during a war and then started a relationship with her. That requires explanation."
Nora's face pales slightly. "I didn't think about it like that. About how it might look. About the position it puts you in—"
"Stop." I cup her face with my free hand. "You didn't put me in any position. I chose this. All of it. And I'd choose it again." I pause. "Phoenix is a good man. He'll understand."
"And if he doesn't?"
"Then we'll figure it out. Together."
Nora leans into my touch, her eyes searching mine. Then she nods. "Okay. Go talk to him. Grace and I will be… Wherever Grace is doing cartwheels, apparently."
I smile despite myself. "Good luck with that. She's got a lot of energy."
"Tell me about it."
Saint leads us out of the medical room. The hallway is quiet. Most of the club must be out on patrol or in the common area. We reach the main space, and I hear Grace before I see her.
"Watch this, Canvas! Watch!"
Grace is indeed doing cartwheels across the open floor. Canvas is sitting on the couch, looking equal parts amused and exhausted, while Ivy watches from the kitchen doorway with a huge smile on her face.
Grace spots us and immediately runs over, signing rapidly. "Judge! You're awake and walking! Are you all better now? Does it still hurt? Can I hug you or will that break your ribs more?"
I crouch down. My ribs protest but I ignore them, and sign back. "I'm much better. Still a little sore, but healing. And yes, you can hug me. Gentle hug though."
Grace throws her arms around my neck, and something in my chest goes soft.
This. I want this for the rest of my life.
When she pulls back, she signs, "Mama said we're staying here for a while. Is that true?"
"Yes. You're staying here where it's safe. Where my brothers and I can protect you."
"Good." Grace grins. "I like it here. Canvas taught me poker and I won three times. And Brick showed me his knife collection but said I can't touch them until I'm older. And Ivy made cookies with me, and they were really good even though I ate too much chocolate first."
"Sounds like you've been busy," I sign to Grace.
"Very busy. But I missed you. I was worried you'd sleep forever." Her little face scrunches up. "But Saint said you just needed rest and he was right because now you're awake and everything's okay again."
"Everything's okay," I agree. Then I look up at Nora. "I need to go talk to Phoenix. You good here?"
"We're good." Nora signs to Grace. "Stay with Canvas and Ivy, okay? Mama needs to talk to Judge for a minute."
"Where are you going?"
"Just to talk. I'll be right back."
Grace looks between us. "Okay. But come back soon. Canvas promised to teach me a card trick."
"I will, baby. I promise."
Grace runs back to Canvas, who immediately starts shuffling cards. Nora walks with me toward Phoenix's office. When we're far enough away that Grace can't see, she stops and turns to me.
"Are you really going to tell Phoenix about us?" she asks. "About what we just did? What we decided?"
"Yeah. I have to. He's my president. My brother. He deserves to know."
"And Grace? Should we tell her?"
I consider this. Grace already thinks of us as family. Already told her mother that I'm part of their lives now. But officially telling her that her mother and I are together? That's different. That's putting expectations and pressure on all of us.
"Not today," I say finally. "If we're taking things slow, we should take things slow with her too. Let her get used to being here. Let us figure out what this looks like before we put that kind of responsibility on her shoulders."
Nora's entire face relaxes. "I was hoping you'd say that. Being a stepfather is a huge deal, Judge. Warren. And I don't want to rush her into accepting that before we're even sure what we are."
"Before you're sure I'm going to stick around?" I finish.
She winces. "That sounds terrible when you say it like that."
"It's honest. And I get it." I take her hand.
"But Nora, I need you to understand something.
I've always wanted a family. Always. But I didn't think I'd ever have one.
Didn't think I was the kind of man who got that.
And now here you are. Here Grace is. And you're offering me exactly what I've wanted my entire life. "
My voice drops lower. More intense.
"So yeah, I want to be Grace's stepfather eventually.
I want to be the man she runs to when she's scared.
I want to teach her to ride a motorcycle when she's older, with your permission.
I want to be there for school plays and scraped knees and all the normal family shit I thought I'd never get to experience.
" I squeeze her hand. "I'm not going anywhere.
Not unless you tell me to. So, take all the time you need to be sure.
I'll be here. And when you're ready, when we're both ready, we'll tell Grace together. "
Tears well up in Nora's eyes. "How are you real?"
"I'm real. Just took forty-three years and a war to find you."
She stands on her toes and kisses my cheek. "Good luck with Phoenix. I'll be with Grace."
"I'll find you after."
She walks back toward the common room, and I head in the opposite direction. Toward Phoenix's office at the end of the hallway.
The door is closed. I knock twice.
"Come in."
I push the door open and step inside.
Phoenix is behind his desk, paperwork spread out in front of him, a cup of coffee cooling at his elbow. He looks up when I enter, and relief flashes across his face.
"Judge. Good to see you on your feet." He gestures to the chair across from him. "Sit. You look like you're about to fall over."
I sit, and my ribs thank me. "Saint said you wanted to talk."
"I did. I do." Phoenix leans back in his chair, studying me. "How are you feeling? Really."
"Like I got the shit kicked out of me. But I'll live."
"Saint said it was bad. Two broken ribs, dislocated shoulder, concussion. Said you didn't fight back because the Vipers had security footage of the civilians and threatened to go looking for them."
"That's accurate."
Phoenix is quiet for a moment. "You could have died."
"I know."
"You took a beating that could have killed you to protect two civilians you'd known for less than a day."
"Yeah."
"Why?"
Phoenix's eyes are sharp, assessing, but not unkind. He's not judging. He's trying to understand.
"Because it was the right thing to do," I say finally.
"Because they needed help and I was there.
Because—" I stop. Start again. "Because the second that Viper put his hands on Nora, the second Grace looked at me and asked if I was nice, I was done.
They became mine to protect. And I don't do things halfway. You know that."
"I do know that." Phoenix picks up his coffee, takes a sip, sets it back down. "Saint also said something interesting when he brought you in. Said you were already in deep. That you cared about these civilians more than just professionally."
"He was right."
"And now?" Phoenix's eyes lock on mine. "Now that you've been here for two days recovering with them hovering over you? Where are you now?"
This is it. The moment where I tell my president that I just started a relationship with a woman I'm supposed to be protecting. That I crossed a line I shouldn't have crossed.
That I don't regret it for a second.
"I'm in love with her," I confess. "With both of them.
Nora and Grace. I know it's fast. I know it's complicated.
I know we're in the middle of a war and this is probably the worst possible timing.
But I'm in love with them, Phoenix. And I want to be with them.
Want to build a life with them after this is over. "
Phoenix doesn't react. Doesn't move.
"You slept with her," he says. It's not a question.
"Yeah."
"In the medical room. While you were supposed to be recovering."
"Saint told you."