Chapter 28 #2
Hearing Donovan’s name makes me jerk my head towards the foggy driver’s side window where people partied right on the other side of it.
It’s louder outside and sometime between our fighting and making up, the music changed.
Bass shakes my truck, but I can’t tell you what the fuck’s playing because all I hear is Slim’s soft moans and the gushing from my dick going in and out of her.
Her eyes roll to the back of her head, and the loud music rocks her into a trance where she bounces on me without my help. Her fingers dance against her perky nipples, tweaking and twisting them.
She doesn’t even brace herself against my chest to keep her balance, and I’m so cross-faded that I don’t even realize I’m leaning forward and sticking my tongue down her throat until she garbles a mouthful of words into my mouth.
I pull back, staring into her eyes. “Huh?”
“Is it working?” she asks, cupping my face in her hands and grinding against me. “Am I fixing that part of your brain you said didn’t work?”
“What you talking about?”
“That night in your kitchen when I asked you if you ever wanted anything besides this life, you said that part of your brain didn’t work.” She belts out a low moan. “I wanna know if I’m finally fixing it.”
“Why you wanna do that?”
“‘Cause I think about stuff I’m not supposed to when I look at you.”
“Stuff like what?”
“Like all the things you said I’m not supposed to—things I probably shouldn’t think about when I’m supposed to be putting myself back together.”
I didn’t think it was possible—but my dick grows harder inside of her and she grinds against it as if she’s calming it down.
“Why you thinking like that? What’d I tell you about that?” I ask, pinching my eyes shut. “You know better.”
“Because I can’t fathom thinking any other way. If thirty is the pinnacle of a fighter’s life, then where do we go from here?”
We?
I shake my head.
I made a mess.
Fuck, I made a mess.
I peel my eyes open and find her with wet lashes and too much hope in her eyes. I swipe my nose against hers and my mouth across her face.
“Listen to me, baby,” I mutter, pressing my lips into her hairline.
“I’m listening,” she croaks back.
“Are you sure?”
She lets out a ragged breath and nods while I wrap my arms around her. “I’m always listening to you. God, I love listening to you. That’s all I ever wanna do. You sound like home, you know that? So tell me where we’re going. Tell me where we go from here.”
I press down onto her body until she stops grinding, then I lift my hips until our rhythm changes to one that I control.
“Rich…” she moans, clinging to my neck and taking each long thrust I give her. “Tell me.”
“Listen, you can’t go where I’m gonna go. Okay?”
“That’s…that’s not how this friendship works. You know that,” she replies. “I go wherever you go. I follow you everywhere.”
“I promise you don’t wanna go where I’m going.” I kiss her temple while trying to blink away the wetness in my own eyes. “And I’ll never ever let you go there.”
She gasps. “Wh…why not?”
“‘Cause it’s not a place for you. You too sweet for it—too good. You the sweetest thing that ever happened to me, and I’m sorry you found me when you were supposed to be putting yourself back together. But you can’t go with me to this place, baby.”
A loud sob roars out of her.
“Shhhh.” I wrap my fingers around her neck and cover her ear with my mouth. “Remember what you told me in my kitchen that one night? You said you belong to me. You said even when I’m long gone, you’ll still belong to me.”
She nods.
“I wanna show you how to hold on to me.”
I pull back to look at her face as warm tears trickle over my hand. They dot her long lashes while she pinches her eyes closed.
“Can I do that?” I ask.
She nods, and I put my lips back to her ear.
“Tell me I can.”
“You…you can.”
“You know what it means to belong to me, right?” I ask.
“Ye…yeah.”
“Then tell me.”
“It means I’m only yours. It means I can never be this open with any other man. It means I can never give another man all of me because you already own all of me.”
“Uh-huh, and it starts up here.” I smile against the shell of her ear and reach up, tapping her temple.
Then I push my dick as far inside her as I can until she squeals that sloppy mess of names that always comes out when I make her feel too good.
It’s a mixture of all the different versions of me that nobody else gets but her—the real me, the raw me, and the me that exists above any other man who’s ever been in her life.
That name she said she can’t associate with Tony is always sandwiched right in the middle like she’s fighting to keep it from coming out first, but we both know where it belongs.
It ain’t some vanity type shit like Red thinks.
With Slim, it’s real. It’s what happens when I let the epitome of all my pussy problems crawl inside me and live there.
It’s what happens when two broken people find each other and figure out they fit together perfectly.
It’s what happens when I’m being that stupid ass man I’m always telling her about.
Now I’m “Daddy” or “Mr. Lovelace” like she says, and I don’t know how to be anything but that for her.
I bite into my lip as a streak of wetness falls down my cheek. She catches it with her tongue before I even realize what it is.
“Fuck,” I grit out, squeezing my eyes shut.
“It’s okay,” she murmurs, pecking my face. “I won’t tell anybody.”
I guess this is what it means to make love—the emotions, the confessions, the deep sense of longing I feel in my chest for her even though I have her in my arms. Now I think I get it.
“Baby…” I grunt, ignoring my pounding heart.
“Uh-huh?”
“Close your eyes for me and listen. I gotta show you how to hold on to me.”
She closes them.
“One day I’ll be gone,” I choke out. “Do you understand that?”
“No,” she cries.
“I ain’t saying it’s gonna happen tomorrow or next week, but it’s gonna—”
“Don’t say that.”
“But it’s the truth. My ending ain’t gon’ be any different from those other dudes your uncle tried to help. One day I’ll be just like them.” I lean forward, pressing my lips to her temple. “I’ll still be up here in your head, though. I’ll still be right here.”
“Ri—”
“Shhh. Listen.”
She nods, digging her nails into my arm.
“When you get that easy husband that you picked out, there’ll be some nights where you miss me so bad that it hurts right here.”
I lean down and scrape my lips against her chest.
“But you’re gonna close your eyes just like this, and when he climbs on top of you, you gon’ think of me…and every dip and curve of my dick you’re memorizing right now. You’re gonna think of my face…and…and my voice. Can you do that?”
“Rich…” she gasps.
I push deeper inside her. “Tell me you can do it.”
“I…I can do it.”
“You tough, remember?”
She nods hard. “I…I am.”
“You can do anything. I just have to get you to understand that. That’s my job.”
She moans back in response.
“Now when that easy, boring husband is inside of you, he’s gonna ask you some shit. You know that, right?”
I don’t know why, but that’s the question that makes her roll her body against mine.
I meet her body roll with a thrust and push my dick even further inside her. “You know, the first thing a stupid man’s gonna ask you is if this is his pussy.”
She snorts out a painful laugh and nods, and I laugh too.
“But the thing is, it’s really mine and I never even had to ask you to know that. Ain’t that right, baby?” I chuckle.
“Yes!” She slaps her hand against my chest, digging her fingernails into my skin.
“Shit…it was mine the first day I saw you. You remember that day?”
Her lips curve into a euphoric smile, and they fall open. “I…I do. You found me in your kitchen.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And…and after that I just kept coming back.”
“Because you knew you belonged to me. What’s that shit you like to say? I own your pussy. I own you?”
She nods, scraping her nails deeper. “You do. God, you do.”
The funny thing about making love is that it makes me delusional. I feel like I can look at her and see all the painful parts of her life before the day I found her. They hide in the corners of her smile while I push and pull out of her.
“Rich!” she squeals. “I…I think…”
Her walls hug my dick so tight that I start entertaining those silly ass questions again—about Vegas, about boxing, about life with her somewhere else away from here—away from all the shit that haunts me.
I even feel that secret I keep locked away from her, pushing at my lips, trying to force its way out.
But I can’t tell her that I’m the very thing she hates, so I swallow it.
“Ri…” her voice floats away.
Tremors rock her legs and roll through her body in a way that makes her freeze on top of me with her mouth wide open, and I pound in and out of her so hard that my head spins and she yelps.
“This what you wanted…right?” I gasp, trying to outrun my own nut that chased me.
Her lips tremble as she tries to call out for me again, but my name is stuck somewhere in her head while she fights through the fog of her orgasm, and I don’t care because I’m just a stupid, selfish man. So I slap the side of her ass with too much force, and she takes it, squealing out a moan.
“Look at me,” I grunt. “Look at me right now.”
Her droopy eyelids widen, and her eyes lock onto mine.
“Are you cummin on my dick, baby?” I coo, wrapping a hand around her face.
She gurgles out a loud hiccup, letting her face fall against my fingers.
“Uh-huh…I…I told you I needed you in me. I told you I belong to you—just you. I…I can’t even look at another man without thinking about you—obsessing over you—trying to figure out how I can make you feel as good as you make me feel. ”
Somehow I get lost between the end of her orgasm and the beginning of mine. I think I got tripped up between her words—somewhere after “obsessing.”
My dick jerks against her gushy insides, and her face blurs.
I gasp. “Wait—lift up.”
“No,” she moans.
She grasps the door with one hand and pushes her other hand against the truck’s roof. As soon as I try to pull out, she pushes down, holding my dick hostage between her warm walls.
“Don’t you dare,” she hisses, shaking her head. “Don’t you ever take that away from me.”
I don’t even need her to explain what she means because I know better. ‘Cause in reality she owns me. She’s just too nice to point out that my control is a front. She runs me just like I knew she would the first time I saw her, but it’s too late to go back.
“I…I’m not. I won’t, baby. It’s yours…” I wheeze out, riding the uncontrollable wave she has us on. “Fuck. It’s all yours. You feel it?”
“Uh-huh! Ye—”
My cum shoots out of me in a spurt that makes my body jerk and her voice disappear. Her wide, soft eyes wrap me up and carry me off to a place I never knew existed—somewhere between euphoria and insanity.
I don’t think I ever came this much in my life. It lines her insides and dribbles out of her while I try to wrap my brain around the fact that she made me make love to her in the middle of Worthing’s 10th Annual Family Fun Day in Barnes-Blank Park.
She falls forward, covering my mouth with hers and plunging her tongue down my throat while my dick twitches inside her in exhaustion. I can’t see. I can’t taste. I can’t even think anymore—but I can hear.
“I told you I just wanted to feel like I’m a part of you,” she murmurs, pulling my bottom lip into her mouth and grinding against my soft dick. “Thank you.”