20. Juliet
Juliet
By the time I made it to my vehicle, breathing felt optional. My chest rose and fell too fast, the parking lot blurring around me. If I hadn't made it to the driver's-side door, I probably would've collapsed right there on the pavement.
Yahya and Mega were right behind me, calling my name. Fear escaped with every attempt to get my attention. It wasn't enough to make me want to stop trying to get away because I was scared too. Scared of what I might see on their faces. Scared of what they were about to say.
Using the driver's-side door to steady myself, I spun around and faced Mega so fast he took a step back.
“What the fuck is she talking about?” I signed.
My movements were sharp, aggressive, and angry. My hands shook so badly I was sure I wasn't communicating clearly. But he got the picture.
“Ju,” Mega started.
“No!”
I signed the word so hard that pain shot through my wrist. My vision seemed to be worsening by the second, and I needed to hear his explanation.
“Talk. Use your voice.”
“Look, Ju, I'm not saying what Ava said is true, but—”
Before he could finish, both hands flew to my ears.
The pain that traveled through them was so violent and sharp that I immediately removed my hearing aids and stuffed them into my pockets. The world dulled a little after that. Not completely, but enough to take the edge off.
That word.
But.
The one word capable of ruining an apology and poisoning the sweetest compliment. That word was a nice-nasty objective. A warning label. A soft launch into devastation. And my heart knew that whatever came after my friend using it was going to kill me right here in this parking lot.
Tears rushed forward and spilled down my face. I felt them, but refused to believe I was crying. Crying made emotions real. It made situations real.
And this shit wasn't real.
It couldn't be.
The ground tilted beneath my feet.
No.
No.
No.
Not here.
Not now.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I began shaking my head. The last thing I needed was another episode. Somebody needed to throw a thick blanket over this reality and smother it.
Yahya reached for me, but I pulled away.
“Talk,” I signed again.
Mega started speaking, but my hearing had already begun fading. Everything sounded underwater. Muffled. Distant.
And the pain...
The pain was indescribable.
But if I had to explain it, it felt like my brain was causing my ears to bleed from the inside out. I needed to hear his explanation. Needed him to make me understand why, in that bookstore, he looked more sorrowful than angry at the foul shit Ava had spewed from her mouth.
I needed my eyes to focus. Needed my breathing to slow down. Needed something. Anything.
I held up a trembling hand and forced myself to take deep breaths. Mega stopped talking and looked at Yahya. Yahya looked at me.
“I need to completely understand,” I signed. “Sign for him.”
I didn’t know what would go completely first, my ears or my eyes, but I needed clarity on my friend’s behavior back in that bookstore.
She nodded, her own eyes wet now.
“Go ahead, Mega,” she instructed. “Breathe, Juliet. Breathe slowly and look at me.”
“Okay,” I signed.
Mega swallowed hard.
“Okay. Look, back in eighth grade, at our awards dinner, I overheard some moms talking.”
My stomach dropped, and all I could do was shake my head because rich women loved sitting around spreading the nastiest stories in the city.
“One of them said she thanked God you survived everything you went through.
I frowned.
What did that even mean?
I was born with my condition. There wasn't any tragic accident or life-altering adjustment period that I knew of. I had always been this way.
He continued.
“Then another mom chimed in and said it was so sad that you'd never know your mother.”
The world stopped completely.
And it was far worse than my ears shutting down.
My fucking heart was breaking.
Another thing about gossip amongst rich folks—it usually stems from some truth. Maybe the details get twisted. Maybe the facts get stretched. But somewhere in the middle of all the mess sits a tiny piece of reality.
And because Echo was who he was and knew who he knew, I could only imagine how smothered this story had been. How many people stayed quiet because they feared consequences? How many whispers died before they ever became conversations?
I stumbled backward.
“Ju-Ju!”
Yahya rushed forward.
I held my hand up. Not wanting to be touched. Mega, who visibly hated himself right now, needed to finish.
“When I got home, I asked my parents about it. We weren't from Havenbrook, so my dad said he'd only ever heard whispers. No confirmations. Just rumors.”
The tears came harder.
And not just mine.
All three of us were crying now.
“And you never thought to tell us? To tell her?” Yahya asked.
“What was I supposed to say?” Mega snapped. “As far as I knew, nasty rumors were being spread about my best friend and her family. Why the fuck would I repeat them?”
Yahya immediately looked guilty and apologized.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.”
My face was soaked with tears and snot. Humiliation, confusion, fear, and pain crashed into me all at once.
Questions I’d noticed over the years but always waved away suddenly demanded answers.
People being oddly gentle with me. At first, I assumed it was because I was the deaf girl, but hundreds of people in Havenbrook were hearing impaired.
Then there were the strangers who stared a second too long. The pity hidden behind certain smiles.
And the woman.
The woman I occasionally heard. Occasionally felt. Almost saw.
The one who appeared in dreams and vanished before I could reach her.
Was she...
Could she be...
“Ju...” Mega stepped forward. “Let's call Echo.”
The second his name left Mega’s mouth, pain exploded behind my eyes. My body locked, and a scream ripped from my throat so fierce I was sure it woke the dead.
“Juliet, should we call an ambulance?” Mega asked.
No.
I didn't need an ambulance or a doctor. Why?
So, they could ask questions? What's wrong with her?
Who was going to explain any of this to them?
I damn sure wasn't because I didn't know how.
All I knew was that I needed safety. Familiarity.
Protection. I was scared, and the people who normally made everything better had, within the last thirty minutes, become strangers..
My mother.
My father.
Mylo.
Zion.
And...
Echo.
Choo-Choo.
Or Juliet's Echo, as my mother liked to call him.
This pain had to be death knocking on my door, and just as I felt to cave and open it, my thoughts traveled to him.
Psalm.
Instantly, the panic loosened.
“He loves me,” I whispered, my voice finally finding its way back.
This was the second time Psalm had pulled me out of an episode. The second time he'd become my strength when I didn't have any left.
“What?” Yahya asked.
My eyes slowly drifted back from outer space and landed on hers.
“Psalm,” I signed.
Understanding immediately crossed her face.
“You want to go to Psalm's?”
I nodded.
“Okay. Okay. We can do that,” she said, relief flooding her voice.
She took hold of my arm and pulled me close enough to kiss my cheek. Softly, I eased from her grip and walked into Mega's arms instead. He wrapped them around me so tightly that a sob escaped him.
“I am so sorry, Ju,” he cried. “I never—”
“Shhh,” I cut him off. “Not your fault.”
When we finally pulled apart, Mega grabbed both of my hands.
“Whatever it is, you know I got you,” he declared.
“We got you,” Yahya added.
A small smile found its way to my face despite everything. I was exhausted, confused, terrified, and completely unsure how to tell Psalm. Or worse, how I was supposed to approach Echo.
With trembling fingers, I handed Yahya my keys.
The three of us climbed into my Jeep, and as she pulled out of the parking lot, I stared through the passenger window, wondering if my life had started as a Shakespearean tragedy and no one had thought to give me a copy of the script.