7. Seven
Seven
Toni
Sleep came with surprising ease. Too bad it wasn’t deep, nor did it last very long.
When my head hit the pillow, I was plunged back into the nightmarish drive I had endured to get here.
Too many hours trapped in Father’s town car with my brother’s eyes roving over me the way they always did when we were alone.
Full of ownership and desire. The way a brother should never, ever, look at his sister.
In waking life, fear of my father kept my brother mostly leashed.
But in my nightmares, he roamed free, replacing every loving touch Xav and I had managed to secret away this year with ones of cruelty and control.
I was a puppet. My father pulled one set of strings, and Francis, the other.
Being back under my father’s roof with both of them for the last few months had only made it worse.
Thankfully, I no longer held my father’s specific interest, but Francis was a different story.
His presence plagued me. By day, he was a constant shadow, guarding me under our father’s orders.
And at night, there were times I woke and swore I could still feel his slimy hands on parts of my body or hear his heavy breathing, despite being alone in my bedroom.
The room didn’t feel like mine. The pastel pink walls and frilly pillows, all hand-selected by my father, gave me the creeps and made me long for the cedar-scented walls of my little Foxglove cabin.
Only tonight, when I woke from my nightmare fighting for breath, the small room no longer felt like the oasis it had seemed last summer.
I could have sworn there was another person in my cabin with me, but as I jolted upright and stared around the tiny dark room, it was obvious I was alone.
My eyes darted to the door handle. Last summer, I hadn’t felt the need to lock it once.
That lock was going to be my new best friend.
Maybe it was the result of the day, or of my brother’s presence just across the path, or maybe from taking a hockey player’s fist to the skull, but I was rattled. Too rattled to return to sleep.
I rolled over in and attempted to shut my mind off, but the second I let the weight of my head rest on the pillow, I hissed at the sting from my fucked-up face.
Goddamn, Cole had really put some weight behind that hit.
I shouldn’t have jumped between him and Xav, but I never could stand to watch them fight.
Wrestling against my comforter, I tossed onto my back and squeezed my eyes shut, but they popped open again seconds later at the sound of a ping against my tiny square window.
At first, I assumed it was a bat that had flown into the glass by mistake.
After all, it was nearly two in the morning, so what else could it be?
The forests out here don’t sleep just because we do.
Then it came again. On the third ping, I got out of bed and headed for the window expecting to see nothing but darkness through the panes.
My whole body jumped at the face looking back at me.
For a split second, I panicked, assuming it was Francis, but as he moved the flashlight and stepped back, I recognized Xavi’s aquiline jaw, full lips, and perfect curls.
I smiled and held up a finger, signalling him to wait before scrambling through my clothes for the first sweater I could find.
May nights were too cold to be outside in just my tank top.
Once I tossed the thing over my head, I opened my front door as quietly as I could, and with the lightest possible footsteps, snuck around to the back side of my cabin.
There, leaning against the wood with the flashlight beam swinging in his hand, was Xav.
He looked up at me and smiled, and my breath caught over his name.
“Xav,”
“Get over here, wild girl.” With a flick of his fingers, he summoned me towards him, and I went running.
Between the cabin and the dark, no one, not even Francis, could see us.
I was finally able to do what I’d been dying to do since the last class of the semester had ended.
Even though we’d been together once a week, the knowledge that my brother was hovering like a shadow on the other side of the lecture hall door had always stopped me, but nothing could hold me back now.
I threw my arms around his neck and relished the way his fingertips dug into my hips just above my pyjama bottoms. Xavi’s only an inch or two taller than me, and his lips were too delicious to resist. I leaned in to kiss him, immediately letting my mouth open so he could taste how much I had missed him.
“Toni,” he purred my name, and his chest rumbled against my own, and then he dove into me.
His lips were bruising. His tongue swept over my own, and my skin began to burn as I pushed into him even harder.
Only, he fought me. I whined into his mouth, needing more.
He chuckled, “Oh, wild girl. You never learn.” Spinning us, so my spine was shoved against the cabin wall.
“Hands. Wall. Now, Toni.” He commanded, and my palms snapped flat at the order.
Instead of another order, he sank to his knees in front of me and grasped the outside of my thighs with his hands.
Delicately, and so achingly slowly, he started to trail his fingers up and down.
The sensation through the simple cotton was enough to send sparks to my centre.
And as close as he was, as much as I wanted his kiss, he ignored my shaking limbs and continued to torture me with nothing but his touch.
Within minutes I was a quivering, needy mess.
“Xaviiii,” I keened, “Please.”
He smirked up at me, “Please, what, Toni?”
“Please,” I begged again, not even sure what I was asking for at that point.
Slowly, too slowly, he lifted his hands to the ribbons that tied my pyjamas pants tight over my hips.
One at a time, he pulled on each end, until the loose bow I’d tied came undone.
Then, with a gentleness I was coming to recognize as reserved wholly for me, he rolled the fabric down to expose my soaked core to him.
“Perfect” he whispered against my skin before his mouth connected with my pussy.
First a kiss, just above my clit, and then his tongue began to explore my folds.
I was already panting for him, but the feeling of his tongue sweeping into me made it hard to stand.
Bracing one hand on my lower belly, he added one finger, pushing into me.
Then another. His fingers worked in tandem with his tongue, making me feel so full, more so than I’d ever been able to emulate on my own through the months of waiting.
Inside me, a dizzying buzz made it hard to concentrate on anything but the sensations he was sending through me.
But when he sucked my clit, I couldn’t hold out any longer.
My orgasm broke over me. I shook against him, calling his name over and over in hushed tones.
Before the feelings subsided, he was on his feet and had me hoisted into the air.
His grip on my ass was hard, matched by the rough feeling of the wood on my back.
He leaned his head into my shoulder and whispered, “I need to be inside you, now.” And without waiting on any answer, he shoved his cock into my waiting cunt.
Stretching around him was the most delicious feeling, and all I could do was hold on tight to his shoulders as he started to move.
Each pump his hips sent more ripples of heat through me.
Before long, my pussy started to tighten around him.
He grunted, “I’m not going to last long if keep squeezing me like that, Nettie. ”
I groaned back, lost in my own desperation, “Fill me, Xav.”
He stalled. Looking up at me, his brown eyes searching my blue ones, “Fill you? But, T... ah... birth control?”
“Handled.” I answered, “Now fill me. Please.”
I bucked my hips over him determined to get what I wanted so badly.
Xav swallowed, but then he started to move again, faster and harder than before, and then he whispered, “You want me to fill that pretty pussy, huh? Fuck you bare against this wall until my cum leaks down your legs? With pleasure, my favourite little whore.”
That dirty pet name he had for me was my undoing.
I came around him so hard that my eyes slammed shut.
It took every last ounce of my concentration not to scream my pleasure out loud, but I would never risk losing this moment by exposing us.
Xavi followed me into oblivion. I felt the hot rush of liquid between my legs, and our bodies, rung out from our pleasure, sagged against the wall supporting us.
When his cock slid out of me, aftershocks of pleasure rippled down my thighs.
We were both sweating and breathing hard, even as we slowly untangled our limbs.
“I missed you, beautiful,” Xavi said, once again kneeling at my feet. He wasn’t looking at me, but at my pussy, and I heard him purr to himself, “Perfect,” while he collected his cum dripping down my leg, pushing it back inside me with two fingers.
“Now you’ll have sweet dreams of me inside you all night long,” he reassured as he helped me pull up my pjs, even tying the strings into a neat little bow for me.
I couldn’t look at him, couldn’t bear the look of his gorgeous face now that the heat of the moment had passed, so I just mumbled, “Xav, I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry about what, T?”
“Francis.” Still, I didn’t look up. But he wasn’t having that. He grabbed my chin and lifted it until we were staring at each other head on.
“Toni, you do not need to apologize. Not for Francis. Not for any of it.”
Tears welled at his compassion. Since last summer, Xavi and I had learned not only how to be friends again, but how to be something more.
Between notes passed back and forth in class, and text messages sent late at night, he knew my fear of my father, he knew how ashamed I was, of my past, of the abuse, and of what I did to Nick.
I told him about my nightmares, about how sick Francis was, and about a thousand and one other things.
In return, he told me his own worries about his family, particularly his own father, about endless hours spent searching for his sister, Rachel, and his plans for the future if he ever managed to find her.
So, when he told me not to apologize, I knew he meant it, but shame is acidic and will leak through even the strongest of barriers.
“It’s just his presence. Him. He... he’s ruined…”
“Yes, Francis’ presence makes our lives a bit harder, but we both know your father and brother aren’t as smart as they think they are.”
He ran his fingers through my hair, pressing our foreheads together so I could feel his lips move around the words, “Nothing is ruined, my beautiful girl. We will work around it.” He reassured me, sounding so confident.
I wanted to feel that way, but the doubt and fear I’d put aside when I was caught up in our connection were flooding back in.
“How?” I asked.
“Well, I don’t know about you, but I found sneaking around like this pretty fucking hot.” He smiled at me, and I couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped me, “And Agonde has plenty of other hiding spots.”
“But Xav,”
“Yes, we’ll have to be careful. We say nothing, tell no one. Don’t even tell the girls.”
“I trust them. They wouldn’t tell anyone.” I countered.
“I do too, but do you want to put them at risk?”
I shook my head.
“Good girl. We’ll let everyone think it’s like last summer.”
He was right. Even a hint of my relationship with Xav would spell danger for us both, and anyone else involved. I nodded my agreement.
“We will find a way to get rid of him. Send him crawling back to your father. Leave it to me, pretty girl.” He leaned in and kissed me, slow, lingering, and with so much tenderness, I wanted to hold on to him forever.
When he pulled away, he winked, “Until tomorrow night, beautiful.” and then, like the sprinter he was, darted off through the forest.