XavierAge 10 - 11 years ago
The nurse said to give Rachel a couple of days to rest and recover. So, I did, but I was still worried. My sister was stronger than she looked. We both were. But I was still her big brother, so I was determined to check in on her.
When she wasn’t at breakfast on Thursday, I went back to the nurses to check on her again.
She wasn’t there, either. The nurse–kindly enough, though a bit condescending–alerted me that she’d asked to rejoin her cabin just before bedtime, but by now, was likely on her way to her first picked program.
Not that Rachel or I had any input in picking our programs. They were chosen exclusively by our father.
Mine were selected with the sole purpose of teaching me the specific skills he most coveted.
Sailing for leadership, lands for athletic fitness, climbing for non-linear thinking and problem-solving.
While Rachel’s were a reflection of our father’s opinion on what little girls were supposed to do.
So, she had been classed as a CE, a Creative Elite, taking painting, craft making, and pottery.
Behind closed doors, before our parents dropped us off, she’d admitted to me that she hated every one of those activities.
She wanted to learn to swim and to practice archery.
But, of course, no Rothberg girl could ever, would ever, be allowed.
Our father might favour her, but never enough to allow her that kind of freedom.
Which meant that if she was back in her regular programs, there was only one place she would be.
The Creative Cluster was uncomfortably loud when I poked my head in the door.
I was supposed to be out at the climbing wall where I could scale the fifty-foot climb and tune out the noise.
Instead, I forced myself to walk into the building.
On the far side of the room, Brennon sat in the corner amongst the other guitar players. When the door closed behind me, maybe he heard the noise or sensed my fear, because his head snapped up.
“Xav?” He mouthed, setting his instrument aside and rushing over, “What are you doing here?” He led me back outside and I was relieved. It had been too overwhelming in there for me to answer his questions. Outside was easier.
“Rachel,” I croaked.
“She’s not here,” I looked up at him. He kept kicking at the stones under our feet, “I always try to keep on eye on her or say hello,” he explained.
“Why?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.
He just shrugged, “She’s your sister. I don’t have one, so she’s kind of like my sister, too.”
His pale face got really pink for a second, then he grabbed my arm, “C’mon!”
“Where are we going?” I cried as he hauled me down the path.
“To the swim docks. We’re going to get Cole and Toni, and then we’re going to find your sister.”
“Where?” I asked again, feeling stupid.
“Her cabin, obviously. If she’s not at the nurses or at her programs, where else would she go?”
It was so obvious. I wanted to kick myself for not thinking of it sooner, for not even bothering to check her cabin first. So, we did just that.
The swimming instructor screamed and yelled as Toni and Cole abandoned the rest of their swim class.
They grabbed their towels and clothes and ran up the dock.
From there it felt like the four of us flew towards the girl’s line.
Toni directed us to Clover, her cabin. Since boys weren’t allowed near the girl’s cabins, I was glad Toni knew where to go.
When she pointed it out, I sprinted to the door, knocking as hard as I could.
I pounded into the door over, and over, and over again.
Behind me I could hear my friends calling my name.
Toni screaming, “Xavi, stop! Your hands!” They hurt.
Bad. But I wasn’t going to stop until someone opened the door and told me what was going on.
I was about to smash it again, when the door whipped open and there was Jack Walker and Alexis, Rachel’s cabin leader.
otherwise, the cabin was dark and empty.
“Where’s my sister!” I screamed into Jack’s face, “Where is she?!”
“That’s what we’re trying to figure out,” he replied calmly like it didn’t even matter where she was.
“But…but…but, the nurse released her here,” I stuttered,
“The nurse did release her,” Jack explained, “She sent her back to her cabin late last night.”
“But she never showed up,” her cabin leader’s sobbed, “And I didn’t know, not until I went to check on her this morning.”
She wailed again. Instead of making me sad, too, I just wanted to scream at her. She was supposed to take care of Rachel! And all she was doing was crying into her hands like a useless sack of snot.
Jack, at least, was stone faced. That was easier, particularly as he gripped me by the shoulder.
“Xavier, this is very important. Did your sister ever sleepwalk?”
I shook my head. Of course she didn’t. No one in our father’s house would willingly leave their rooms after dark. But he couldn’t know that. He grimaced, “Okay, do you know if she had any friends in another cabin?”
I shook my head again. I didn’t think so but didn’t know for sure, which made it feel like some hungry monster was gnawing at my stomach.
“Just one more,” Jack squeezed my arm, “Do you think she might have gone to the boys' side to try and find you?”
That was the first question where I really, fully wasn’t certain.
If she was scared, really scared, she might try to find me.
At home, on the nights where our father had been particularly relentless, I would often get a knock on my door late at night.
Rachel would step into my room. I didn’t have any teddy bears or toys to offer her, we weren’t allowed, but I did have books.
Books, reading, they were important to father.
So, I would read to her, until she fell asleep.
If she did try to find me overnight, she hadn’t succeeded, and Jack needed to know that.
“She might have tried, sir,” I finally answered, “But if she did, she never found me.” Both Cole and Brennon chimed in to confirm that there’d been no sign of her at our cabin last night.
Like he’d done for me earlier today, Brennon reaffirmed, “And she never showed up for her picked programs this morning, either!”
Jack’s stare flipped to him, and Brennon went on, “I have guitar while she’s usually in her painting class. There was no sign of her.”
“Do you usually keep such close track of Rachel Rothberg, Mr. Grace?” Jack asked.
Brennon puffed his chest and replied, “Yes. She’s Xavi’s sister. We fly together.”
Even though I was so scared, a flush of warmth burst through my chest to hear him say it.
“Right. Well. Thank you all. Mr. Rothberg, we’re going to look for your sister. I’m sure she’s just found her way to a different program.”
Jack wouldn’t meet my eyes. Instead, he looked to my friends.
“Mr. Michaels, Mr. Grace, and Ms. Barrett, don’t you all have somewhere to be?”
Toni leapt forward, “Yes! With Xavier! We want to help!”
She looked so determined. Toni was so much braver than I ever was.
Jack huffed, “Yes, well, we appreciate that, but Alexis, the staff, and I will take care of that. Why don’t you three help Mr. Rothberg here by keeping him busy.” He steered me back towards them.
“When we find her, I’ll make sure you four are the first to know,” he promised, before turning around and closing the cabin door again in my face. My own father had dismissed me enough times for me to recognize when someone else was doing it.
The rest of the afternoon passed in blur.
My friends led me away from Rachel’s cabin, doing their best to cheer me up.
But it didn’t take long for an update to come.
Not from Jack directly, but in the form of another staff member.
Toni had suggested we join the kayak program rather than sit around waiting for news.
“It’ll be a good distraction,” she said.
I’d caved, because we always caved to Toni, but just as we were shuffling into our boats, a staff member, one whose name I didn’t know, came running onto the dock.
Then, in muffled, clipped tones, talked to the leader who was in charge of the program.
Before the runner even left the dock, we were directed to haul our boats back out of the water and put away our lifejackets and paddles.
From there, we were directed to immediately go back to our cabins, make no stops and to stay there until our cabin leaders arrived.
That meant leaving Toni. We couldn’t even walk her to her door since we weren’t allowed on the girls' cabin line. I clung to her hand until the very last second, until the fork where the path split in two. She needed to take the lower path that ran right in front of all the girls’ cabins, while we’d take the upper path back past the office and to the Centre Circle.
All four us of stopped there, not wanting to split up.
We didn’t say it out loud, but, what if while we were apart, the same thing happened to her?
What if she disappeared just like Rachel?
What if we never saw her again? I couldn’t bear it.
Toni’s eyes were watering, too, when we finally let go.
I couldn’t talk. And I couldn’t make my feet move, either.
It was finally Cole who said, “We’ll find you as soon as we can. Now run. Get to your cabin fast. Slam the door when you get there so we can hear it.”
Toni nodded, listening for once, and ran away, up the cabin line. Only when the echoes of a door crashing closed reached us, did Cole look at Brennon and I, “You two, let’s go,” and then he gathered Bren and I in front of him, letting us lead the way while he stayed close at our backs.
We weren’t in our cabin long, either. Nathan had us all change into comfy, warm clothes, grab our sleeping bags and pillows and bring them with us to dinner.
We weren’t the only ones, either. In the dining hall, all the other kids were in sweatshirts or pjs and every single one had their sleeping bag.
I immediately sought out Toni’s table, and there she was, waving furiously at us.
Beside me, Brennon went “Phewwww,” and waved back to her.
Maybe I wasn’t the only one who was scared she’d vanish.
After we ate, the cabin leaders gathered all the kids on the deck, while inside the hall, program staff moved the tables and benches into one corner of the room, stacking them all the way to the ceiling.
Then, we were brought back inside and told to unroll our sleeping bags in neat little lines up and down the hall.
There were so many of us jammed into the room that there was barely an inch between Cole and Brennon’s sleeping bags on either side of my own.
Staff handed out decks of cards, board games and puzzles, directing us to play quietly.
I watched the doors as, one by one, they tried to sneak away.
Hard to do because the dining hall doors were so loud and heavy.
There were no announcements or updates, no sign of Jack or news of Rachel.
Just worried looks on the handful of staff that remained to watch over all of us.
Toni joined us, and together we huddled in a circle, playing crazy eight countdown until Toni’s cabin leader called out, “Alright everyone, to your sleeping bags! It’s lights out! ”
She then came over and shooed Toni back to the other side of the dining hall where the other girls in her cabin had laid out their stuff. Toni went without a fuss, which was a bit strange, but when her leader wasn’t looking, she turned back and winked at us all.
It took ages, and several scoldings from the cabin leaders, for the whispers around the room to finally die down.
Slowly, bit by bit, the other kids around us fell asleep.
Even though it was dark outside, thanks to the bright stars and all the windows, there was still just enough light to see by.
Enough to see when the five staff meandered their way into the kitchen, obviously so they could talk away from us kids.
It was also enough light that our wild girl could slip from her sleeping bag and crawl her way over to us.
It took a few minutes, since she was trying not to wake anyone or attract any attention, but eventually, she slid between Brennon and I.
I stayed on my back while Cole rolled on his side so he could see her too, and she whispered, “I could hear them talking in the kitchen,” we all squished a bit closer to listen, “Apparently, they’ve been searching all day.
They searched the whole camp and found nothing. ”
She winced, “Sorry, Xav.”
“What else did you hear, Birdie?” Brennon asked.
“They said that after that, Jack finally called the cops from town, and they’re all still out there searching.”
She then looked me in the eyes and squeezed my hand, “Then, my cabin leader said she’s, like, a crime or criminal studies student and if they haven’t found her by now, it’s unlikely they will.”
At that, silence hung between us.
Eventually, they, too, fell asleep. Cole’s light snores near my ear, Toni pressed tightly between Brennon and I, and Brennon’s arm slung over his head at an angle where his elbow kept brushing against my hair.
In the dark, in the quiet, without my friends to distract me, the panic and worry returned.
What happened to Rachel? How could she have just disappeared?
Would my father blame me? What if one of my friends was next?
What if they vanished, too? Without Rachel, without Toni, Brennon, and Cole, I would be nothing.
That night, instead of counting sheep or closing my eyes, I watched them.
I logged every movement, every breath, too scared to look away in case that was the moment someone snatched them away from me.
I would watch them forever to keep that from happening.