30. Thirty #4
She sealed her lips around me, and I couldn’t help my groan as her tongue licked its way up the veins of my dick.
I let her play for a minute, but only a minute, because I needed more.
I needed to be inside her. I wrapped my hands around her hair, right at the base of her skull and tugged until her mouth popped off me.
“Much as I love your mouth, sweetheart, I need to feel that pussy, right fucking now.”
I helped her manoeuvre up the bed towards me, until I stopped her just when her centre was positioned directly over my cock.
“Do you want me to use a condom, baby?” I asked. It was the question I should have asked last night but I’d been too caught up to think straight. Now, I needed to know before this went much further. She shook her head, “Not needed.”
Another subject I’d have to come back to later. But judging by her tiny frown, not a conversation for this moment.
“Okay, then I want you to slide yourself down onto me, nice and slow.” I held my shaft so it was at the right angle for her, and the way her mouth fell open as she took me inch by inch was so stunning, I had to bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from coming right then and there.
Once I was all the way sheathed inside her, we both let out low guttural moans.
My hands returned to her hips and the top of her perfect ass.
The way her skin dimpled there was so perfect, I wanted to lick every piece of her or maybe take a bite out of that ass.
Next time, I’d have Xavi fuck her just like this while I did exactly that.
“Brennnn, it feels so, so much,” she struggled.
“It’s the angle, baby. Now I’m going to help you move,” I explained as I began to rock her hips so that her clit rubbed against the base of my cock and inside her, my tip hit that perfect spot where she’d feel it the most.
“How’s that feel?”
She moaned.
I lifted my left hand and smacked her ass cheek, hard. “Words, baby. Good little sluts use their words.”
I asked again, “How does that feel?” Rocking her even harder against me.
She struggled, but answered, “So fucking good,”
“Hmmm,” I sighed, “Does my little slut want some more?”
“Please,” she begged so beautifully. I rewarded her by starting to buck up into her. She felt so good around my cock, it was difficult to hold back, but I wanted to watch her fall apart on top of me before we were finished. She threw her head back and mewled, her hips now moving on their own.
“Such a perfect little doll,” holding her tighter with one hand, I praised as my other free hand moved back to her clit, “Keep going, beautiful, you’re taking me so well.
” She was close. After all my teasing, the walls of her pussy were contracting around me, and it was getting harder and harder to hold back my own release. Especially when I looked up at her.
“Brennonnnn,” she panted my name.
“Look at me, Birdie.” I commanded and her body slammed forward, hands landing on my chest and eyes looking right down into mine.
The blue of them more ocean-like than I’d ever seen.
Wild, violent, and lost in the throes of something bigger than herself.
I wanted to see this look on her face every day from now, until I died.
“I can’t hold out much longer,” I gritted, “Will you come with me, baby?”
Without waiting, I pinched her clit again as I thrust up into her, and that did it, she screamed, and I think I must have grunted a long, “Fuckkkkkkkk”, but we catapulted over the edge together.
When her orgasm subsided, she collapsed on top of me, wrapping her arms around my body while we kissed over and over.
In turn, I wrapped my own arms around her and breathed in the taste of the honey on my lips that was Toni.
My free bird. Our wild girl. We cuddled quietly for a minute before she asked, back to her shy, unsure voice from before “Was that okay?”
Such a self-conscious question. One I couldn’t believe she had to ask, but one that I would happily answer for her, every day, forever.
“Birdie, that was hands-down, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” I said, tugging her even closer. The warmth of her skin against mine lulled me into a sleepiness that I then had to fight off. Just fucking all the time wasn’t going to get us to where I wanted us to be.
“But Birdie, I’m also still a little mad at you,” I stressed as gently as I could, trying to convey to her that I wasn’t going anywhere. Still, I had a right to be upset with her. Just like she had a right to be upset with me, Xav did, too.
We needed to deal with those feelings, because it wasn’t just the two of them in this anymore. We had to figure out a way to talk to each other instead of just giving up because it was too damn hard. And goddamn, did that scare the shit out of me.
She turned up her face to look at me with a nervous smile, “About last summer?”
“Yes, about last summer.” I pet her soft skin, “You never gave me, or even Xav, really, a chance to understand. Or help you. You just broke your promise and left me. Again.”
She pressed her face back into my chest. She traced her fingertips over the circlet of stones tattooed around my heart even as her wet tears transferred from her cheeks to my skin until she asked softly, “Is this Throw?”
I nodded, and she continued to touch the long-healed ink. A tattoo I’d put there years ago, as a reminder of what I’d lost. She cried quietly, and I let her, just rubbing her back until she pulled away.
With one finger, she wiped her tears away and swallowed whatever was leftover with a sad laugh, “I have a bad habit of breaking my promises to you all, don’t I?”
“And?”
She shuddered, “And of lying to you all. But I’ve always done it to protect you”
“I know that, beautiful,” I reassured her, “Or at least I do now.”
I didn’t want to scold her, but I couldn’t lose her a third time. I wouldn’t survive another year without them.
“I know,” she gave in, “And so much of this is my fault. I really am sorry, Bren. All I can say, and it’s not an excuse, is that… I was scared.”
My arms moved on impulse to squeeze her tightly, “None of the ugly things that happened to you are your fault, so please don’t think that.”
I kissed her forehead, “But it feels like this is the last shot, pretty girl, for all of us.”
That statement, while true, felt like a thousand-pound elephant filling the room until Toni moused, “So, no more secrets?”
“No more secrets.”
“No more lies?”
“No more lies,” I confirmed, “And in the spirit of that promise there’s something I need to tell you.”
One deep breath, then, I dug into the details of my encounter with Cole. Toni didn’t make a peep the whole time. Her blue eyes were unreadable, flashing with feelings I was going to need her to decode for me.
“Are you…angry?” I winced.
She tipped her head back, looking to my ceiling, before looking back at me, “No, Bren. Confused, surprised, sad, and maybe a million other things? Sure.”
“Sad?” I asked. It was the only one of those feelings I couldn’t quite make sense of.
“Yes, sad. For you. Because I know exactly how it feels to be dismissed by Cole Michaels. And sad for Cole, too. Not because he deserves it, but because I’d be sad for anyone who hates themselves that much.”
My palms reached for her cheeks, and I couldn’t resist dragging her into a kiss. Her lips were still bee-stung from the ferocity of our earlier lip locks. When I released her mouth, our foreheads remained connected as I breathed her in.
“Thank you, Birdie. After everything we’ve done. Cole and I. Your compassion is…it’s everything.”
I sighed as I remembered that hers wasn’t the only compassion that I had to hope for. My shoulders and back shunted against the cabin wall behind me.
“Bren?”
It was hard to look at her as I admitted, “I haven’t told Xav yet. But I don’t think he’s going to be quite as understanding.”
“Why?”
I bit my lip, toggling my piercing with my tongue. Something I always did when I was nervous.
“It’s not my story to tell, baby.”
“Xavier is the most understanding person I know. He’ll listen.”
She seemed so convinced, but she also had no idea what happened between the three of us when she wasn’t here to be our anchor.