Chapter 18
The next few weeks flew by in a blur.
Every evening, Rutledge would come over and they would spend hours in bed, having sex until they were completely exhausted and fell asleep entangled in each other. Sometimes they would run into each other in the halls or Shawn would go to Rutledge’s office and straddle his lap and they—
It was crazy. It was madness. Shawn couldn’t keep his hands off him; it was like he couldn’t control his body at all.
He was weirded out by his own insatiable behavior; he’d never behaved like that before.
This thing was actually getting worse. No matter how many times they fucked, no matter how many orgasms he’d had, he constantly wanted more, more and more of Derek but he couldn’t get enough.
Derek.
That was another thing that bothered Shawn.
Lately he had caught himself thinking of Rutledge as Derek far too often for his liking.
And to make things worse, Shawn wasn’t all that sure it was just sex he wanted.
He enjoyed kissing Rutledge way too much.
But the part after sex was the worst. Rutledge would kiss his face and his neck, softly and lazily, and Shawn would feel good, and warm—
Just like he was feeling at this moment as Rutledge nuzzled into the back of his neck.
“God, get out,” Shawn groaned into the pillow, his voice still hoarse after the blowjob he’d given Rutledge earlier.
“I have the night shift tonight. Need to be at work in less than two hours, and it’ll take ages to get there.
” He grimaced at the thought. He hated the night shifts, he hated when he was sent to work at the restaurant on the other end of the city, and he hated leaving the twins with Mrs. Hawkins for the night.
Rutledge didn’t move, his big body still sprawled over Shawn’s back. He was too heavy and it was getting hard to breathe, but Shawn found that he didn’t mind all that much.
“I need to get going, too,” Rutledge said against his neck, kissing him there. “I have hundreds of papers to grade.”
“Did you grade mine yet?”
“Yes.”
“And?” Shawn’s stomach tightened as he waited for Rutledge’s response. He had put so much effort into it.
“It was acceptable,” Rutledge said. “C.”
Shawn deflated. “Oh.”
Rutledge’s lips stilled against his nape.
Then he rolled Shawn over and propped himself on his elbows above him. His dark eyes studied Shawn’s face. “Are you… upset?”
“No,” Shawn said lightly with a soft chuckle, averting his gaze. “I just… I just wanted to do better. To shut up the people who spread the rumors about us.”
“If you got a better grade, it would have only made it worse.”
“Maybe. But—I just really wanted to do better.”
Rutledge gripped his chin with his fingers and forced Shawn to look at him.
He had a strange expression on his face: irritation mixed with something else. “You did do better,” he said gruffly. “I expected worse.”
Shawn snorted, shaking his head. “Thanks. I guess.”
Rutledge stared at him with the same vaguely irritated look before leaning down and kissing him.
Shawn wasn’t entirely sure how they went from kissing to Rutledge’s trying to push his cock into him—again.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Shawn said, with a half laugh, half groan. “I’m sore.”
“One more time,” Rutledge said, managing to sound resigned and desperate at the same time. “I’ll be gentle.”
“That’s what you said last time,” Shawn said, but truth be told, he didn’t mind at all. He was sore, but god, he wanted him.
“I was gentle,” Rutledge said, his hips rocking gently into him. “Until you begged me to fuck you harder.”
“I didn’t.”
Rutledge just snorted.
“Shut up,” Shawn said, trying to keep his hips still—trying to hide from Rutledge how much he was enjoying the sensation of his cock deep inside him.
He bit his lip to swallow back his moans.
It was really embarrassing: Rutledge’s cock wasn’t even brushing his prostate, but he was loving the incredible fullness and the intoxicating intimacy of having another person—Derek—in him, on him, around him, Derek’s heavy body pressing him down into the mattress, surrounding him…
“You don’t have to go,” Rutledge said into his ear, panting slightly as his hips rocked into him.
“What?” Shawn managed.
“You don’t need to work there.” A deep thrust. “I’ll pay—”
“Don’t even start.”
“You accepted money before,” Rutledge said, hitting his prostate, again and again.
“Don’t.” Shawn balled the sheets in his fists. It was too much. “Too sensitive.” He tried to remember what they were talking about. “You know it was different before.”
Rutledge’s hips went still, making Shawn whine in frustration.
“How was that different?” Rutledge said in a strange voice.
Shawn blinked dazedly. It was the first time they’d even remotely talked about this thing between them. “I gave you blowjobs because I needed money,” he said quietly. “I fuck you because I want it.”
“It?”
“Because I want you.”
Silence.
Shawn felt himself blush and told himself not to be silly. It wasn’t like he’d said something Rutledge couldn’t guess himself: it was blatantly obvious they wanted each other. But they had never actually said it.
“What?” he said, a bit defensively.
Making a low noise in his throat, Rutledge kissed him again and, changing the angle, set a steady, immensely satisfying rhythm.
“Good?” Rutledge asked hoarsely between his thrusts.
“Yeah.” Shawn couldn’t stop small moans from escaping his lips. “So good.”
His moans grew progressively louder with every thrust, his balls tightening as he approached orgasm.
“Yes, that’s it,” Rutledge said into his ear, kissing it. “Want you.” He pressed wet, hot kisses all over Shawn’s neck, his thrusts losing their rhythm but not losing any of their power.
“Want you,” he said again, his tone different somehow.
A rush of pleasure hit Shawn hard, and he came with a groan, shaking with his entire body. God.
He was only vaguely aware of Rutledge thrusting into him for a while before he finally went still on top of him. Then, to his disappointment and relief, Rutledge pulled out and rolled off him.
Opening his eyes, Shawn turned his head.
Rutledge lay on his back, his eyes wide open. His face was flushed a little, his chest heaving, but he was far from being relaxed. There was a small frown on his face, his lips pressed into a thin line.
At last, Rutledge got out of the bed, got rid of the condom, and started dressing.
Shawn sat up, eyeing Rutledge’s tense shoulders. “Can you give me a ride to work?”
Rutledge’s hands stilled on the buttons of his shirt.
Shawn wasn’t sure why he’d asked. He knew Rutledge’s house was in a completely different part of the city. It just wasn’t practical for him to give Shawn a ride if he had a lot of work waiting for him at home—he would waste hours if he did that.
Seriously, why had he asked? It was stupid.
Shawn stretched out his aching muscles, working out the kinks in his neck.
“Yes,” Rutledge said tersely, looking away again. “Get dressed.”
Shawn studied him for a moment. He got out of the bed and padded to him.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” he said, buttoning the rest of the buttons on Rutledge’s shirt.
Rutledge looked down at Shawn’s fingers, his expression grim. “I want to.”