Chapter Ten
C hase slowly awoke to a warm, soft backside wriggling against his groin, making his morning erection even stiffer, painfully so, as his dick lodged itself against a bare, curvy ass.
Certain he was in the throes of some kind of dream, he gradually peeled his eyes open, and it took him a moment to remember where he was, and who he was with. Not that he could ever forget Lauren Connelly, but this situation was a novelty for him. Spending the night, an entire night , with a woman. And waking up with her in a bed. He’d always been careful to take any female to a nice hotel for a hookup, or if they went to someone’s place it was always hers. Both scenarios made it easy for him to be gone before morning so there was no misconstruing that their one-night stand was anything more than that.
The circumstances with Lauren were completely different, considering their fake relationship pact and sharing a room together for the weekend. Leaving her in the middle of the night hadn’t been an option, and while the situation was new to him, he couldn’t deny that he liked waking up with this woman in his bed. Shockingly, he wasn’t even opposed to the fact that they were essentially cuddling , when normally he avoided that kind of intimacy.
Nestled up to one another certainly wasn’t how they’d initially dozed off. Last night, after a very robust round two, and a third shortly after that, they’d finally fallen asleep on their own sides of the bed, with plenty of space between them. He’d always been a side sleeper, but clearly, during the night, she’d scooted toward him so that her naked backside was spooned against his chest, stomach, and thighs. And at some point, he’d unconsciously draped an arm around her waist as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do.
As he laid there, secretly enjoying the feel of Lauren in his arms, she moved her hips again, swiveling them back against his rock-hard dick. Slowly, sinuously. Enough to let him know that she was awake, too, and deliberately arching and undulating that bare, tempting bottom of hers to get a reaction out of him.
He tightened his arm around her waist. “Stop squirming,” he growled against her shoulder.
“I can’t help it,” she said in a husky whisper that was filled with mischief as she continued to wreak havoc with his self-control. “Something hard is poking me in the back.”
An abrupt gust of laugher escaped him at her cheeky comment. “That’s what happens when you keep wriggling your sweet little ass against my dick. It gets hard and pokes . Now be still or I’m going to have to take a cold shower.”
“Why?” Her hand reached around, finding his cock and stroking his length, her palm soft and her fingers firm around his shaft. “It would be a shame to let this go to waste.”
He groaned, and she released his dick and rolled onto her stomach beside him, then turned her head and looked at him, her hair a sexy, tousled mess around her beautiful face. She tugged on her bottom lip with her teeth, hesitating only a moment before saying, “I really liked it when you fucked me from behind last night.”
Yeah, she had. That memory would be emblazoned in his mind, of how he’d put a nice pink palm print on her ass while she’d shamelessly pushed back against him so he’d take her harder, deeper. That position had driven her wild, and she’d had to bury her face in the pillow to muffle the sounds she’d made when she’d climaxed.
Unable to resist this woman and what she wanted, Chase grabbed another condom and that’s how they started their day, with a slow, lazy, unhurried morning fuck and mutual orgasms, following by a long, hot shower together. Then, breakfast down in the dining room, where they ate an array of freshly cooked dishes and chatted with another couple who were staying at the inn while visiting friends who lived in Fairview. They weren’t anyone that Lauren already knew, but she was so friendly, and he loved watching how easily she engaged in conversation while he enjoyed a second cup of coffee.
Once the couple left the dining table and it was just the two of them, and they were finished with breakfast, she turned toward him.
“So, we’ve got most of the day to ourselves,” she said, putting her napkin on her empty plate. “How about I show you the main part of town?”
He tipped his head and absently tapped his fingers on the table. “You don’t have any wedding-related things you need to do or help with?”
She shook her head, and though she smiled as if it didn’t matter, there was no missing the quick flicker of sadness in her eyes before it was gone. “I’m not part of the bridal party, so I’m off the hook.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, meaning it. “As Ashley’s sister, you should be.”
She shrugged. “Too awkward, and it’s fine,” she insisted, brushing it off, though he could tell not being included hurt despite her bravado. “All you and I need to do is show up later this afternoon for the wedding ceremony and reception. And since we have the next few hours free, we can stroll around Fairview’s equivalent of Main Street and relax and just enjoy the day. It’s not far from here, so we can walk.”
“Okay,” he said, genuinely curious to know more about this small town where Lauren was born and raised.
They left the bed-and-breakfast, and side by side they walked leisurely along the sidewalk that led into the heart of Fairview. Their hands brushed once, then twice, just because of their close proximity, and when it happened a third time Chase slipped his hand into hers and took hold of it.
She blinked up at him in surprise, even as she curled her fingers around his. “Look at you, being the attentive, demonstrative boyfriend,” she teased with a smile. “You almost make it hard to remember the grumpy guy I bought at the bachelor auction.”
He inwardly winced at the reminder of how gruff and difficult he’d been with her that first night, which somehow seemed like a lifetime ago. When he was with Lauren, he didn’t feel like that same cantankerous, standoffish man. How could he be when she was always so upbeat and optimistic?
He didn’t want to make a quip about holding her hand for appearances’ sake and minimize the truth of how he felt about her in that moment. “I like holding your hand.”
She laughed lightly and ducked her head so he couldn’t see her face. “You shouldn’t say things like that, or else you’re going to make me fall for you, for real.”
Her tone was teasing, but there was a little voice in the back of Chase’s head that reminded him he still needed to be careful with Lauren and her emotions. That at the end of this weekend, they’d both go back to their separate lives. The last thing he wanted to do was lead her on, or give her false hope, because there was one thing he knew about himself, and that was his inability to be the kind of fully committed man Lauren was worthy of. A man who could give all of himself to her.
He didn’t know shit about love, not when he’d seen and lived the worst of it.
As they reached the small but bustling center of town, Chase shoved those thoughts from his mind as Lauren started regaling him with all the different connections she had to the various landmarks. From the hardware store where she had her first job as a cashier to the bowling alley and small theater where all the teens hung out on the weekends because there wasn’t much else to do.
Over the next few hours, they meandered through her favorite antique shop and perused the used bookstore, where he found and purchased a few history books on the Civil War to add to his collection at home. As they made their way down the main street and browsed other specialty boutiques, Lauren introduced him to people she knew that stopped her to say hello. A few mentioned Ashley’s wedding that evening, and there were a lot of speculative glances cast their way from across the streets, all of which made him feel protective of Lauren and strangely possessive, but for the most part everyone they spoke with was very welcoming and kind.
Chase couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so relaxed and stress-free. Being away from his high-powered job and the fast pace of New York City and his life there, this town was a whole different world. And he genuinely loved that he didn’t know anyone. There were no expectations of him, and there was no need to impress anyone. It was an incredibly freeing feeling, one that made him feel peaceful and content, even if he knew it was only temporary.
Still hand in hand, they continued toward a large marble fountain that was surrounded by a lush green park with families and children enjoying the beautiful day. Before they could cross the street to head in that direction, Lauren came to an abrupt stop in front of what appeared to be a clothing boutique and let out a soft little gasp when she looked at the mannequin in the window display.
The fiberglass model was wearing a long gown in a lavender hue, with a slit up one leg and a fitted bodice. The shoulder straps were accented with crystals that matched the ones defining the waistline of the dress. It was a simple, but very elegant gown.
“Oh, wow,” she breathed in awe, her eyes wide. “Marie is such an amazing seamstress and always makes the most stunning dresses. This one is just beautiful and lavender is my favorite color.” She turned her head and smiled impishly. “It’s silly, but when I was a little girl I’d always walk by her store and imagine wearing her dresses one day.”
“Why don’t we go inside and you can try it on?” he suggested.
She immediately shook her head. “It’s much too fancy.”
“We’re going to a wedding tonight,” he pointed out with a grin. “That’s the best place to wear something special and fancy.”
She laughed and shook her head once again, trying to minimize her initial interest and the wistful look he’d seen in her eyes. “A new gown isn’t in my budget. I have a dress that will be just fine for tonight.” She started to walk away from the boutique, tugging him along. “Come on. I want to show you something I think you’ll appreciate.”
They crossed the street to the community park, and she led the way to the marble fountain. At the top was a bronze statue of a saluting soldier sitting atop a horse from the Civil War, the Union side. There were plaques all along the circular base of the fountain, embedded into the marble. He immediately noticed the name Connelly engraved into the metal a few times, along with dates that matched when the war was fought.
“This is my great-great-grandfather and two uncles on my dad’s side of the family,” she said, running the pad of her finger across the names before moving on to the name Patterson and pointing them out, too. “And this man right here was my gramps’s great-grandfather, and his uncle, too, who all served in the Union Army.”
Her family was more ingrained in this small town than Chase realized. “That’s a lot of generations living in Fairview.”
She nodded and smiled up at him. “The Connellys were part of a group of settlers who founded the town, and have lived here for six generations.”
A light breeze blew, and he raised his free hand and brushed a strand of hair off her cheek, just as an excuse to touch her. “Looks like you broke tradition by moving to New York.”
She shrugged. “I probably would have lived my entire life here and raised my own family in this town… had I married Greg,” she said, but there wasn’t an ounce of regret in her tone. “It’s a lovely community, for sure, but I’ve never had any doubts about moving to the city. It’s where I belong.”
Now that he knew Lauren, he could easily agree. She was much too vivacious to be confined to a stereotypical small town box for the rest of her life. Obviously, she still loved Fairview because it’s where her roots were, and where the rest of her family resided, but he understood how someone like her thrived in New York City.
A distinctive melody filled the air, and Lauren glanced past him and grinned. “Pete’s here!” she announced, and he followed the direction of her gaze to see an older man pushing what looked to be a food cart of some sort. “How about an ice cream?” she asked. “Pete makes his own and it’s so good.”
Seeing the excitement sparkling in her eyes, as if this was something she’d enjoyed many times growing up, he couldn’t deny her request. Not that he could refuse this woman much of anything, Chase realized.
“Sure,” he agreed, and let her pull him over to where the older man had parked the cart, that tinkling music still trilling in the air and drawing families to the treat.
They stepped in line and when it was their turn, Pete’s eyes went wide when he saw who was standing in front of him.
“Lauren!” he exclaimed in a fond tone. “How have you been? How’s the big city life in New York treating you?”
“Just great, Pete,” she said, her typical infectious grin lighting up her face. “It’s nice to see you’re still peddling the best ice cream in the state.”
He scoffed at the compliment, but he was smiling as his gaze shifted to Chase, who was still holding her hand. “And who is this young man with you? He doesn’t look like a local.”
“He’s not.” Lauren beamed up at him before returning her gaze to Pete. “This is Chase. He’s here with me for the weekend, to attend my sister’s wedding.”
“Ahhh,” Pete said with an understanding nod. “Well, welcome back. What can I get for the two of you?”
He opened the lid on the top of the cart, revealing tubs of various ice cream flavors inside the freezer compartment. Chase opted for a single serving of freshly churned butter brickle on a regular cone, while Lauren selected two scoops, one strawberry and the other chocolate.
They found a vacant park bench and sat down to eat their dessert, which was admittedly the most delicious ice cream Chase ever had. He finished his cone first, and since he found watching Lauren’s tongue slowly lick around her ice cream too damned erotic, he diverted his attention and pulled out the books he’d bought earlier on the Civil War. He skimmed through the pages, immersing himself in the pictures and explanation of each captured moment of battle.
“Sooo,” Lauren started tentatively, prompting Chase to glance up at her to see why she sounded so hesitant, and realized she’d finished her own ice cream cone at some point. “Is a love of history something you shared with your father?” she finally asked.
The question made him visibly tense, as any discussion about his father did, and even though she’d clearly seen him stiffen at her inquisition, she didn’t try to backtrack or recant her question, even knowing what a landmine she was possibly walking into. Instead, her unflinching gaze held his, so hopeful and compassionate, even.
She was giving him an opening to share something deeply personal with her, and he couldn’t forget the last time she’d made a casual comment about his dad and how he’d snapped at her, that anger and resentment he harbored toward his parent always simmering beneath the surface. Talking about Eli Gossard in any capacity had always been like picking off a scab on an old wound, but as he stared into Lauren’s caring eyes, he realized that he desperately wanted those scars to heal. He didn’t know if it was even possible, but this time, he didn’t try to evade, or avoid, the painful conversation.
“No,” he finally said in a quiet tone. “Getting lost in history books was my escape and distraction from the life I was living with my father.”
Her eyes were brimming with questions, but she remained silent, allowing him to make the decision of whether or not he continued to give her a glimpse into his own childhood and past. Knowing there would be no judgement from Lauren, he allowed those walls to lower enough to give her a glimpse into his past.
Setting aside the history books next to him on the bench, he exhaled a deep breath and dove in before he lost the nerve, starting at the beginning so Lauren could understand the whole story. “My parents, Eli and Darlene, got married because they were pregnant with me. I doubt love ever played into that decision, because from as young as I can remember, they fought constantly. Loud, bitter, nasty fights that were horrific to watch, and hear, as a kid. The things they said to one another were so awful and hurtful. The one thing my mother would always tell my father was that she never would have married him if she hadn’t gotten knocked up with me, which of course, made me feel as though I was the issue.”
“I’m so sorry, Chase,” she said softly, and he didn’t miss the ache in her voice.
He leaned forward, bracing his forearms on his knees, and stared down at the concrete beneath his leather loafers, determined to finish the story. “When I was seven, one day I came home from school and my mom was gone. She’d left my father for another guy, and my father told me they were getting a divorce.” He cast a glance at Lauren, his own heart twisting in his chest at the pain he saw in her eyes, for him . “She never said goodbye to me. She just packed up her things and left, and I never saw or spoke to her again, so I thought her leaving was all my fault. That I was to blame.”
She scooted closer on the bench, until she was right next to his side, then looped her arm through his and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You were just a kid, Chase.”
He nodded, surprised by just how good her comfort felt when he was so used to suppressing his emotions. “I know, but that’s what seven-year-olds do. They internalize everything, and I was really good about burying all my anger and pain and that sense of abandonment I felt not just from my mother, but my father, too.”
“How so?” she asked quietly.
He scrubbed a hand along his clenched jaw, forcing himself to relax, which wasn’t easy when those old memories reminded him of how bad and emotionally damaging things had been. “You’d think my father would see a divorce as a way to start out fresh and new, but instead he fell into a deep, dark depression, to the point that everything in his life fell apart because he couldn’t stop feeling sorry for himself. He started drinking, and ignored me for the most part. He lost his job and after unemployment ran out, instead of looking for a new job he went on welfare and did nothing but stay home, drink, and watch TV. How fucking lazy and irresponsible is that?” He couldn’t hold back the bitterness that seeped into his voice.
“I can’t imagine how difficult that had to be for you,” she said empathetically.
He huffed out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, since my father was basically useless, I grew up pretty damn quick, starting at the age of seven. If I wanted to eat, I had to scrounge through the cupboards for food and make my own meals, and his, too, or else he’d just drink beer for dinner. If I needed new clothes, I had to beg my father for a few dollars so I could buy pants and T-shirts and shoes at Goodwill. I did the laundry and the cleaning and made sure I was up in the morning for school, because my father was usually passed out from the night before. And when I was old enough, I took on a paper route and mowed neighbors’ lawns to make extra money to pay for household things.”
“So, you took care of your father, and got nothing in return.”
“Yeah, pretty much. I was the parent from the age of seven until I left for college at eighteen.” He leaned back against the bench, and as he watched all the families enjoying the beautiful fall day with their kids at the park, he felt a pang of envy for what he’d missed out on. “The thing is, I wouldn’t have cared about any of that if my father had just tried to be a better person who didn’t wallow in self-pity.”
Lauren cleared her throat and paused for a moment before speaking, as if unsure how he’d react to her next comment. But true to her dauntless personality, it didn’t stop her from bringing up another painful topic. “Billie didn’t give me details, but she did mention that you didn’t even know about her until a few years ago, when your father was dying.”
“Yeah, that was a shocking little surprise my dad sprang on me a few days before he passed away of kidney failure,” he said, his tone gruff. “When my mother left us, my father knew she was pregnant with another man’s kid, and for some reason he wanted to clear his conscience before he died by letting me know I had a half-sibling. So, when he was gone, I hired an investigator to track down my mother and get me whatever details he could on my half-sibling. I honestly didn’t know what I was going to do with the information. I was mostly pissed at the entire situation and never really thought I’d ever contact my mother or my brother or sister… until I read the investigative report and found out what happened to Billie.”
He pressed his lips into a grim line, remembering how horrified he’d been to learn what his sister had been through. “My mother is just another shining example of a self-centered, inadequate parent. Not just for abandoning me, but for staying with an asshole of a man who had a drug addiction and who would give up his own child to the system after Darlene died because he didn’t want to raise a child he didn’t want in the first place. Billie was only eight at the time and spent the rest of her childhood in foster care.”
Lauren gasped in shock, clearly not aware of those appalling details. “How could a parent do that to their child?”
Deeply rooted anger twisted inside him. “I honestly don’t know, but I made contact immediately with Billie, even though I knew she was doing well on her own, considering how she’d grown up. But despite everything, she’s my sister, someone who also was a victim of circumstances beyond her control, because of the shitty decisions and choices our mother made. I…” His voice cracked unexpectedly, and he swallowed back the sudden tightness in his throat. “I wanted Billie to know that she wasn’t alone in the world, because I knew what that loneliness felt like. That I cared about her and wanted to give her the kind of stability she grew up without. I wanted to be someone she could depend on, always.”
Lauren looked up at him, her soulful eyes on his face as she slid her palm down his arm, until her hand clasped his and her fingers held on tight. “You’re such a good man, Chase.”
His laugh was self-depreciating, because he didn’t always feel like what constituted a decent man. “I think we’ve already established that I’m no white knight.”
“I disagree.” She lifted up and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “You are for Billie, and that’s all that matters.”
They grew quiet as she rested her head on his shoulder, still cuddled up to his side as they sat on the park bench together. He stroked his thumb along the back of the hand still secure in his, appreciating the peaceful moment with Lauren. A light breeze blew, gently ruffling her hair, and the sights and sounds of everything around them came back into focus. The chirping birds, the faint musical jingle of Pete’s ice cream cart, the laughter and happy young voices of the children playing on the nearby swing set and jungle gym.
Everything happening around them seemed so light and carefree, and he let it all sink in, feeling unexpectedly content—something he never would have thought possible after discussing his painful past. He’d anticipated being angrier, more bitter after reliving those traumatic events. But Lauren’s calm and caring acceptance seeped into his bones, soothing those frayed edges of his emotions, and he was so grateful for her compassion.
The vibration of Lauren’s cellphone in her jeans pocket burst their little bubble of tranquility, much to his disappointment. She retrieved the device and swiped it open, reading whatever message had come through.
He felt her stiffen beside him. “Oh, wow,” she murmured.
His first thought went to her gramps, hoping the old man was fine. “Everything okay?”
She straightened from where she’d been snuggled up to his side, and he immediately missed the connection between them. “I… I don’t know,” she said, a frown furrowing her brow. “I just got a text from Ashley. She asked if she could meet me at the inn to talk before she has to get ready for the wedding.”
“What does that mean?” he asked, very aware of the anxious look on her face, and the way she chewed her bottom lip.
She exhaled a deep breath as she sent her sister an “OK” text back. “I have no idea, but I guess I’m going to find out.”