CHAPTER 16
Palmer
That’s how I find myself pressed up against the wall of the men’s bathroom in a dingy bar down in the college bar district with Jared’s tongue down my throat.
When Jared had proposed getting back at Clay, I had kind of thought he meant egging his car or something and he would be my getaway driver.
Instead, he had told me about how Clay had just fucked his girlfriend, so he wanted to get back him.
He told me he had always thought I was beautiful and deserved better than Clay, even though he hadn’t been around me a ton.
As much as I know it’s a line, it’s always nice to hear.
And the thought of what we’re about to do is even better.
I never really pegged myself as someone who was interested in revenge, but after hearing Jared’s idea to get back at Clay, I couldn’t help but say yes. Clay had fucked with my head so many times, it was only right I got to fuck with his.
It had honestly started out as a harmless date.
We were going to post some photos together on social media and call it a day, but when Jared had leaned in to kiss me on the dance floor, I wasn’t about to say no.
I learn from my mistakes, and if there’s anything I’ve learned since Monday, it’s that when a hot man throws himself at you, enjoy it.
Jared pulls away, one hand wrapped around the back of my neck and the other leaning on the wall above us. He’s tall and has bright blue eyes that ladies love. His blond curls fall over his forehead, and he stares into my eyes.
“You sure about this?” he asks tentatively.
I open the photos app on my phone and flick through the images of us kissing. They’re hot. Clay is going to be so fucking pissed when he sees these photos. “Trust me, I’m sure.”
A thought crosses my mind. I open my mouth but stop before I say it. That’s taking it too far. Plus, there’s no way Jared will agree to it.
“What, Palmer?”
Shaking my head, I say, “It’s nothing.”
He slides his finger under my chin and tilts my face so that I’m looking up at him. “Tell me.”
“I have an idea… but you can’t judge!”
Jared lifts three fingers into the air in response: scout’s honor.
I jab a finger into his chest. “And you can say no if you don’t agree with it, okay?”
He nods, urging me to continue.
“What if we didn’t stop there?”
“What do you mean?”
“The kissing. What if we just”—I grip his length through his jeans, and his eyes widen in realization—“kept going?”
His jaw hangs slack, and his eyes blink closed as I stroke him through the denim.
“And what if”—I undo his jeans and pull them down until his cock springs free—“we videoed it to share with your best friend?”
I don’t know what I expected. Probably for him to yell at me, shut me down, and run out of the bathroom like I was insane. I definitely figured he would say no.
“Deal. Show me how your camera works, then get on your knees and suck this dick like the good little whore that you are.”
Doing my best to hide my shock, I do as he says before common sense gets the better of me. The bright light from my camera shines on my face. There’s nothing romantic or sexy about this for me. This isn’t about pleasure. No, not tonight.
Tonight is only about revenge.
Wrapping one hand around his shaft, I run it slowly along its length, massaging his balls with the other. My eyes fixed upward on the camera, I run my tongue along the slit, and he moans. “Oh, fuck.”
Slowly, I take all of him until he touches the back of my throat.
“Oh, fuck, that was sexy.” His hand tangles in my hair. “You want me to fuck your mouth?”
I nod, unable to speak around him.
Jared turns the camera to face himself. “Hey, you piece of shit. You want to see what you’re missing out on?” He flips it back to face me and moans, “God, I love the way you take me, pretty girl. You’re such a good little whore for me.”
The phrase feels gross. Maybe if we had decided on it ahead of time, but we didn’t really discuss it. But then again, this is all a show to fuck with Clay, and for some reason, the thought of getting aroused by that feels grosser than the fact that we are doing this in a public restroom.
Speaking of which, I’m surprised no one has knocked yet.
Gently, he thrusts between my open lips, picking up speed as I prove I can handle his length. Tears begin to leak from the corners of my eyes, streaking my mascara. Still, I keep my eyes trained on the light above me.
“Fuck, Clay, this is what you cheated on?” He groans to the phone.
I tap his thigh to get him to stop for a second, then slide backwards making a pop as I pull my lips off the tip. My lips curve upward into a mocking smile. “His cock was barely half the length of yours, and he didn’t know how to use it. It’s no wonder nothing ever felt good for him.”
Jared laughs then guides his cock back between my lips. “Then let me to show you how it’s done.”
He thrusts hard and fast, and I gag noisily as he slams into the back of my throat. Saliva drips from my mouth, the mess only encouraging Jared.
“Fuck, you look so pretty when you’re a mess for me.”
I swirl my tongue around him, and he throws his head back moaning. He pulls out and strokes himself while looking at me. “Where do you want it, Palmer?”
With a deliberate blink, I open wide and stick out my tongue, a wordless invitation.
Behind the blinding light, Jared’s eyes widen, and his strokes quicken, his breathing ragged. “You want me to come on your face, pretty girl?”
I nod slowly, the corners of my mouth turning up in anticipation.
His hand pumps faster along his length, a growl rising from deep in his chest. Jared leans his arm on the wall behind me to hold himself up, but the camera stays trained on my face. His orgasm drips down my skin and into my mouth, and I make a show of licking it off my lips.
Jared uses his middle finger to collect the cum on my face then puts it in my mouth. I close my lips around it and suck enthusiastically.
He pulls it out, flipping off the camera. “Fuck you, dude. Don’t ever talk to me again. Hope you enjoy fucking your sister.”
I peer from behind his finger into the lens and laugh, no words necessary.
He stops recording and hands me my phone. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” I take it and slide it into my pocket. In the mirror, I use a paper towel to clean up my face. Jared watches me from behind, studying my face. I am suddenly aware of how awkward this is. “So…” I laugh lightly.
“Yeah. So…”
I turn to face him. “This is going to be weird but thank you for this.”
He gives me a look. “Pretty sure I should be thanking you. That was the best I’ve had in I can’t remember how long. Plus you’re a lot better company than Clay ever was.”
I don’t tell him that it didn’t do anything for me besides fill a very bitter void that Clay left open. Better if he believes it was as good for me as it was for him. I chuckle. “That’s because Clay never sucked your dick. But so are you.”
With a shrug, he says, “Fair point. If you’re up for it again some time, let me know.”
“I definitely will,” I say as I toss the wad of paper towels in the trash.
I definitely won’t.
Opening up my messaging app, I unblock Clay and set the video so it can only play once and will delete if he saves or tries to record. My finger hovers over the send button. “Here goes nothing?”
Jared nudges my finger to hit the button, and then it’s off to fuck with Clay. I block his number again before he gets the chance to respond.
He unlocks the door and steps out. “See you around, P.”
“See you around.”
As I walk out of the bar, the strange victory that I feel is mixed with something else.
Was the sex really fucking hot? Sure. But that’s all it was.
Sex. I don’t regret doing it, but I wish it would’ve been another man’s cock in my mouth.
One whose arms are covered in tattoos and can make me wet with a single look.
Then again, I wouldn’t have shared any of that with Clay. Fucking Bailey would’ve been all for me.
As I slide into the driver’s seat of my car, I can’t help but notice just how dirty I feel, and it has nothing to do with the fact that I feel like I need to take a scalding hot shower and scrub my body to avoid contracting some sort of venereal disease.
It’s more to do with how guilty I feel right now.
I don’t feel bad about having sex, and I certainly don’t feel bad about doing what I did with Jared.
I don’t even feel guilty about sending the video to Clay.
It’s the fact that Jared and every other guy has meant literally nothing to me.
I’ve wanted to have lots of sex and I have.
Some good, some less so. The issue is that I do want to feel something beyond what is happening between my thighs, and the closest I have gotten to that has been simply from sharing the same air as Bailey fucking Diaz and him giving me the most chaste kiss a person could give.
Maybe having a ho phase isn’t quite what I thought it would be cracked up to be.