CHAPTER 21 #2
Palmer slams her hands on the island. “Look, I get that this was just a hook-up or sex or whatever.” Her face is blotchy, and she looks like she’s about to cry.
“That’s all good and fine. But if you don’t want to see me anymore, just say that.
I get that I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I’m not, like, conventionally attractive, but don’t fucking use work as an excuse for why you don’t want to fucking see me again. ”
She marches around the island to stand in front of me, hands on her hips and a stubborn set in her jaw.
“You don’t have to like me, but I thought we were maybe starting to kind of be friends.
At least grant me the common courtesy of telling me the real fucking reason you don’t want to see me again. Is it because I’m fat? Or ugly?”
I stare at her, stunned into silence, blinking.
“Well?” She holds her hands out at her sides expectantly, a tear escaping her eye and streaking down her cheek.
Stepping away from the counter, I take her face and kiss her softly. She tries to pull away, but I move with her, and her hot, angry tears splash against my cheeks. After a moment, her body softens into mine, and I pull back a couple of inches to look into her eyes.
“That’s not it at all.” I brush my lips across hers, then swipe my thumbs across her cheeks.
“I do still want to see you again. I also really do have a work thing out of town for the next couple of weeks.” I leave out the fact that I never want to leave her side, because that feels like a bit much, and I know for a fact I can’t promise her that.
Palmer rolls her eyes and begins to pull away, but I wrap my arms around her waist.
“Please. Let me explain it to you.”
She pauses, looking me over hesitantly.
“Please, baby. Trust me.”
“Okay,” she says guardedly. She twists out of my grip and walks back to her side of the island, arms crossed. “Then explain.”
I let out a tense sigh, wondering where to begin, how much to tell her.
“I want to start by being very transparent about one thing: I can’t tell you everything, because a lot of it is classified.
What I can tell you is that I will be honest with you about what I can tell you and answer your questions to the extent of what I’m allowed. Okay?”
She eyes me skeptically. “Promise?”
Making an X across my heart, I reply, “Cross my heart, hope to die.”
Palmer nods, then gestures at me with her hand. Proceed.
“So, you know how when we went to breakfast after dropping off Clay’s stuff?”
“Yeah.”
“And you kept asking questions about my travel and my job and all that? But I kept giving you some run-around answers?”
“Yes.”
“Well, there’s a reason for that.” I take a deep sigh, knowing how what I’m about to say is going to sound. “The reason is because I’m in a specialized group that requires me to be away for extended periods of time at a moment’s notice.”
“And I’m supposed to just believe that?” Palmer snaps.
“I wish I could share more, but that’s the extent of what I’m allowed to say,” I explain apologetically, my palms up toward her. “I just… can’t say anything further.”
She studies me for a moment before sarcastically asking, “What, are you, like, special forces or something?”
I press my lips together, but don’t respond.
Palmer’s expression softens the slightest bit. “Could you tell me if you were?”
I shake my head slowly, my eyes pleading with her.
“I’m sorry I can’t say more. I just wanted to tell you, I guess, the extent of what I could.
” My shoulders sag under the weight of what I can’t tell her, and my eyes drift to the floor.
“Just please trust me when I say that I do still want to see you, and I’m not trying to make up a reason not to. ”
Palmer’s bare feet enter my field of vision, stopping in front of me. I raise my eyes to meet hers, and she takes my hand in hers.
“Okay. I trust you.”
I press my other hand to her cheek, and she relaxes into my touch. Relief courses through my body, and I envelope her in my arms, planting a kiss on her shoulder.
When she pulls back, I find myself at a loss for words, so I awkwardly say, “Um, so I’m actually allowed to keep my phone for this training that I’m going to, and I thought maybe it might be nice if—”
“We could chat?” she interrupts.
A smile splits my face. “But only if you want to. And only how you want to. Also, onl—”
Palmer cuts me off with a kiss. “I would like that.”
I fish my phone out of my pocket, and she punches the number in, glancing up before saving the contact.
“Want me to save it under The Best Pussy I’ve Ever Had or will Palmer suffice?”
This time, it’s my turn to cut her off. I slide my hand down the front of her shorts and my tongue into her mouth.
I don’t stop until her breath comes in moans and she’s grinding on my hand, at which point I pull back and say, “Just save it under Palmer. The Best Pussy I’ve Ever Had will only be for me to know and no one else to find out. ”
She clicks save then tosses my phone on the counter.
It clatters to a stop as Palmer and I tear at each other’s clothes and blindly feel our way to the bedroom to get lost in each other once again.
I don’t make it back to the barracks to pack until hours and hours later, with my legs feeling like jelly and my mouth tasting of Palmer.
It’s about to be a very long two weeks.