Chapter Eleven Kai
“Hey,” Jenna says, surfacing from her room in pyjamas to join me in our small living room and kitchen. “Another late night?”
It’s Saturday and we both slept in. It’s already one in the afternoon and my eyes are still blurry with sleep, the soft patter of rain outside making me want to burrow back into my blankets.
“Nope,” I say. “I was safely tucked in bed by ten last night.”
It’s true. I last saw Levi and Cole two nights ago, but I have been spending a lot of time with them or under them at least. It’s been exactly four weeks since the arrangement began and even though I’m a lot more bruised and a lot more exhausted than I’ve ever been, it feels good—easy.
“Things going well then?” Jenna asks, pouring some coffee into the fancy French press she insisted we buy. I’ll never admit it, but she was right.
“They are,” I say coyly.
She’s quiet for a moment, letting the hot water steep. I can tell she wants to say something and it’s nothing good.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” she asks. “What if something goes wrong?”
I pause, my mug still in my hand. I get why she’s concerned. I’ve never been one to do something like this, but I’ve spent my entire life worrying about something and being with them makes the worrying stop even if it’s just for a few hours.
“Jenna…” I start.
“I know I’ve been the loudest person about you getting laid and everything but what if you fall for them? They are in a relationship and eventually…” she trails, wincing, but I know what she means.
Although Levi and Cole are stunning, I’ve quickly realised that my crush on them was mostly physical. They are both funny and kind, but they are perfect for each other, and I wouldn’t fit in anyway. Falling for them is out of the question.
“I won’t and they won’t. We have clear rules. I don’t even sleep over. It’s cool.”
Jenna still looks unsure. “I don’t know, Kai. I know it’s just sex which I love for you, but I just think you deserve great sex with someone who also loves you a lot. You’re an amazing person and I want someone who likes how smart and funny and brilliant you are not just how hot you are.”
I laugh and hold out my arms. “Did you just call me hot?”
She rolls her eyes, coming over to hug me. She has always been fiercely protective, and I love her for it, but I also know this is good for me. For the first time, I almost feel relaxed.
“Any more creepy texts?”
And that is the one reason I don’t feel completely relaxed. I shake my head. There has been nothing for four weeks. Complete radio silence from Kenny.
“You still think it’s Kenny?” she asks.
It’s the only explanation. The messages are meant to scare me, to remind me of what I did. I know I should probably take it to the police, but I don’t want to worry Mum or my sisters. I don’t want to worry about it. For now, Kenny is a monster that exists in the confines of my phone. I’ve deleted the messages and blocked the number. It has to be enough.
“I’m good. He just wants to scare me, but he’s not out yet and he won’t be for a while.”
Jenna swallows and nods against me. “Are you going to be okay?”
I hug her a little tighter. “Don’t worry about me,” I say. “How are all the new clients by the way?”
At Anant’s party, Kez introduced Jenna to a whole bunch of people looking for personal trainers. Her calendar has been packed. She moves out of my hold and grabs her coffee.
“Really good actually. Kez wants to introduce me to the guy who owns Uplift Gyms.”
My mouth falls open. “Aren’t those the super exclusive and expensive ones that cost like half a grand a month or something?”
She nods. “The very one.”
“Shit, Jenna, that’s—”
“I know,” she squeals quietly. “I can’t believe one party is basically changing my life.”
I knock my mug against hers. “I’m so proud of you.”
She blows me a kiss. “Gonna go back to bed.”
I would too, but I need to shower and get ready to see Levi and Cole again.
I close the latest book Cole has given me as I step out of my Uber and walk up to the front door of their house. The rain has eased but the skies are still an angry grey as the afternoon sinks into early evening.
Before I can knock, the door swings open and Cole appears. I’ve seen him plenty of times now, I’ve had him inside me and yet I’m still breathless whenever I look at him. His dark hair is perfectly styled on his head, slightly longer and tapered on the top and short on the sides. Green eyes gleam, assessing me carefully.
I swallow and hold up the book. It’s the third one in four weeks. Chariot of Death. His favourite apparently. “I think this is the best one you’ve given me so far,” I say in greeting, handing him the book.
“You’re already done?” Cole asks as he moves aside to let me in.
I shrug. “You’re going to run out soon. You’re turning me into a psychological thriller fiend.”
Behind me, Cole shuts the door and comes up next to me. “I can always buy more if you finish them,” he says with an easy shrug. “But I’m more interested in turning you into another kind of fiend.”
It’s silly, but strangely it makes me warm all over. I quickly recover shooting him a smirk. “I think you’ve already been successful.”
Next to me, Cole laughs, “Oh, I haven’t even started.”
Heat travels down my spine and to places it should not be going so early into the night. “Is that a threat?”
“More of a promise.” The way he smiles makes me believe him.
Levi is seated on the plush couch, his legs crossed under a fluffy cream throw that matches the couch. He’s frowning at something on his laptop but when his eyes snap up, he gives me a warm smile, his eyes forming narrow crescents.
“Hey, Kai,” he says. He’s wearing his glasses; his hair is in its usual disarray.
“Hey,” I say. “Are you working?”
Levi waves a hand. “Just finishing up emails,” he says. “The powers that be demand I respond by this evening. I’ll be done soon.”
After having lunch with us for the first time a few weeks ago, Levi has joined us whenever he’s free. Sometimes lunch is with both Connor and Marie, sometimes it’s just us. He’s funny and kind to everyone. A few more people from my team have begun to join us for lunch whenever he’s around.
“Want to come pick out a new book in the meantime?” Cole asks next to me.
I glance at him and nod. “Sure.”
“It’s like a library in here,” I say when I walk in. There are tall wooden shelves on each side of the room, all lined with countless books. His wooden desk faces the door, arched framed windows looking out onto the garden. My eyes roam over them, spotting a few old English classics, and I’m pretty sure half of them are special editions.
“Most of them belong to my grandparents but they left it all behind when they moved to New York.”
“Are you close with them?”
My grandfather passed away when I was still young, and my grandmother died when my mother was still in primary school. Sometimes I wish they had been around when I was growing up. Maybe they would have been able to help.
“I am,” Cole says. “I moved in with them when I was fourteen.”
“How come?” I ask. I glance back at him and he’s watching me, a look I can’t read on his face. I quickly turn back to the shelves.
“I’m not very close with my own family,” he says.
I want to ask more but I know it’s not any of my business. I don’t even know if they consider me a friend. Does having mind-blowing sex every other night, exchanging books and having lunch at work together make you friends?
To distract myself from that loaded question, I land my eyes on a special edition hardback of The Picture of Dorian Grey.
“Oscar Wilde fan?” Cole asks, coming to stand next to me.
“Classics aren’t my thing, but we had to study this for my GCSEs. More nostalgia than anything.”
“You can have it.”
I stare at him for a moment. “Oh, no, that’s okay.”
Cole laughs, his eyes crinkling at the sides. “Really, it’s fine. No one will miss it. You’ll probably care more about it than I do. Seriously, take it.”
I look at the book and then back at him again. “Um, thank you.”
He shrugs and moves over to the other end of the bookshelf, but I can’t seem to move. It’s like my heart flips inside me and I have to swallow it down back into place. My ears feel hot all of a sudden.
“Ah, there it is,” Cole says, picking out a worn paperback and a creased spine.
“Midnight Echoes,” I read. “Sounds menacing.”
“Oh, it is,” Cole says with a grin that looks boyish on him. “I’ll let you know once I get through the six-hundred-page monstrosity you gave me.”
I roll my eyes. “You know you’re enjoying it. I saw it on your bedside the other night. You’re already three-quarters through.”
He places a hand on his heart and says, “And it’s been painful.”
I laugh, that unfamiliar warmth working its way through me again. I guess outside of the sex, I do enjoy being around both of them. Maybe that does make us friends. I’m not sure if that is a good thing or not.
When we get back to Levi, he’s off his laptop and in the kitchen chopping up a red bell pepper by the counter. “Decided to make dinner,” he says. Cole goes up to him and kisses him on the side of his mouth. It’s quick, clearly out of habit but it has me looking away like I’m intruding.
“Need any help?” I ask.
Levi shakes his head. “Nah, you just sit there and look pretty,” he says just as a glass of red wine is placed in front of me by Cole.
And there it is, that warmth again and I feel a little embarrassed. Was I craving some sort of male friendship this desperately all along?
As they continue making dinner, we easily fall into conversation about childhood movies until Levi looks at me carefully and asks, “Favourite Harry Potter movie, go!”
“Easy. It’s obviously the Goblet of Fire.”
“Prisoner of Azkaban,” Levi says at the same time.
He narrows his eyes behind his glasses. “I’ll give you a pass since that’s my second favourite.”
“I’ve never watched them,” Cole chimes in.
My mouth falls open because how can anyone born at least twenty years ago have missed the hype?
“How don’t I know this?” Levi asks, looking at Cole with the same look of disbelief.
Cole shrugs, leaning on the counter. “I’ve never been into movies, and I didn’t want to ruin the books for myself.”
“I can safely say this is one of the only movies that does justice to the source material,” I say.
Cole looks sceptical.
“You have to watch them,” Levi says to him. “I can’t believe we have been dating for this long and Harry Potter has never come up. If you’d said this to me sooner, we might not have made it this far.”
Cole lifts an eyebrow. “I had you gagging on my cock within the two hours of meeting me. You sure about that, Evie?”
Both embarrassment and lust flare up inside me at the same time. There’s always an underlying knowledge that I’m the third party in this, that Levi and Cole are outside of me, and they’ll exist after me. It makes me wonder how long this will last. What if they get bored of me?
Levi doesn’t miss a beat. “Wouldn’t have if I knew the truth about you.”
Cole rolls his eyes, crossing his arms.
“It only makes sense that we make him watch them, right?” Levi asks me.
“I—” I clear my throat. “I guess I haven’t watched the first one in a while.”
Levi grins. “Perfect.”
After dinner, instead of sex, we’re watching Daniel Radcliff discover he’s a wizard. Cole sits between Levi and I. Levi leans into him, his arm lazily stretched over his middle. I keep my back straight.
“Is their acting this bad in all the movies?” Cole asks.
“They were twelve. It’s cute,” I say, laughing at his genuinely perplexed expression, “But it does get better. Don’t worry.”
We go through the first movie and halfway through Chamber of Secrets, my eyes start feeling droopy. I barely got any sleep last night and I am still slightly sore from taking both of them.
I’m not sure how it happens, but when I open my eyes again, I’m sleeping on Cole’s shoulder. I briefly look up and both of them are still awake, Chamber of Secrets still on. I know I need to go home but I can’t keep my eyes open—I fall asleep again.
The next time I wake up, it’s dark and the only sound that fills the air is gentle breathing. I’m in a bed, lying between Levi and Cole. I panic, sitting up immediately, my heart in my throat before I feel a careful hand on my arm.
“It’s okay,” Levi says, his voice heavy with sleep, “Go back to sleep.”
His voice is so soothing that I can’t help but listen. I sink back into the plush bed, two solid bodies against me and melt back into dreamland.