Chapter Thirty-Two Cole
The steady beeping of the machines hooked up to Levi is the only sound that fills the room. It’s past midnight now and we’ve had Levi moved to a private ward. He’s still not awake but the nurse says he’s stable and his vitals are perfect, he just needs a few more hours.
A dimmed light hums above and Kai is sleeping in a blue suede armchair, his legs curled up to his chin and his breathing steady. Aleeta brought us both a change of clothes and he’s now comfortably in a pair of Levi’s grey sweats and a sweater.
I stand, leaning against the wall, watching them both. No matter how hard I try, I can’t fall asleep. It’s like I can’t take my eyes off them, worried something might happen as soon as I do. All sorts of horrifying scenarios play in my head when I close my eyes.
If Kai hadn’t found Levi in time.
If Kenny had hurt Kai tonight.
If I had stayed another night in New York.
If. If. If.
I’m not sure what I would have done but it’s terrifying how much I care about them, how much I want to destroy the world because someone dared to hurt them.
Ultimately, there was some truth to Doctor Phillipe’s reports. A part of me does get off on my ownership of them. The thought that I could wake Kai up now and tell him to crawl to me and he’d do it. The thought that I can stop all the bad thoughts Levi has just by kissing him. It’s addictive.
I like the cutting, the choking, the bruising, and the reality is I would probably enjoy cutting them both open just to see what’s inside, just like I carved that rabbit up. Yet, there’s an inverse to it because they control me too. I don’t think there is anything I could deny them and that outweighs any urges I have.
The police came by earlier to ask Kai a few questions, but they can’t arrest Adam before they get an official statement from Levi. Right now, they can’t confirm what happened especially if Adam denies it all.
But Adam Roth comes from an aristocratic background and if he gets arrested, his family has enough sway to sweep this under the rug and get him a simple slap on the wrist. A few weeks of community service is too good for someone like him, I need to find him myself and make him regret every choice he’s made.
A soft knock sounds at the door before Daniel steps in. He looks as exhausted as I feel but I know he’s as desperate to find Adam as I am.
“We found him,” he says, eyes on Levi on the bed. “He just got back to his flat. I have a few guys there already making sure he doesn’t go anywhere.”
My eyes fall on Kai and Levi again. I don’t want to leave either of them, but I don’t think I can relax until Adam is taken care of. After him, I’ll handle Kenny.
“Give me a second?” I ask Daniel.
He nods and quietly shuts the door behind him. I walk up to the bed, planting a kiss on Levi’s forehead before moving to Kai. He stirs slightly, eyes fluttering to look at me.
“Go back to sleep, princess.”
He frowns, blinking up at me. “No, where are you going?” he whines and I can’t help my laugh, kissing him again.
“Just need to take care of something quickly. I’ll be here when you wake up. Promise.”
He pouts slightly but his eyes are heavy with sleep. He nods, tucking his knees under his chin again and drifting off.
Adam is seated on a chair in the middle of his living room. It’s still dark outside, the neighbourhood completely silent. I look around, the stench of cigarettes hangs in the air, and I spot a few classic records next to the T.V. stand and knock-off Andy Warhol prints on the wall above.
I watch Adam’s eyes widen as I step into view behind Daniel. Three of Daniel’s men stand around the living room that overlooks a sleepy street, only tonight, the curtains are drawn, the only light emanating from a tall mid-century style lamp in the corner of the room.
Adam looks unharmed, dressed in a polo shirt and jeans but a few strands of brown hair are matted to his forehead, and his eyes wild like a starving caged animal.
“Cole?” he says my name like a question, clearly bewildered.
I smile. “Hey, Adam. It’s been a while.”
His eyes fall on Daniel, who is leaning against the wall behind me, then at the other men before he looks back at me. “What are you doing here? Who are they?”
I shrug. “Guess.”
He makes a move to stand from his armchair, but a hand clamps over his shoulder, forcing him back down. He glares at the burly man who looks down at him blankly.
“What is this? Why are you in my house? Tell your friends to get the hell out.”
I hate that he doesn’t realise what’s going on here. He looks like a little prince, simply inconvenienced by my presence. I want him terrified.
“I’m afraid that won’t be possible, Adam,” I say, taking a seat on a canvas grey couch across from him. “Not until you tell me what you planned to do with Levi.”
His eyes inch wider and then he laughs quietly, shaking his head. “That’s what this is about? Whatever your boyfriend said, he’s lying.”
“Levi hasn’t said anything. He’s currently unconscious because you drugged him,” I say levelly.
“I didn’t give him anything,” Adam says matter-of-factly. “Levi would snort anything that comes in powder form if he could. This isn’t exactly breaking news. He used to get fucked up all the time. Maybe he relapsed or some shit.”
I suck in a quiet breath. My temper flares inside me but I ignore it. I can’t lose it yet. “People saw you with Levi, Adam, so, can we skip the part where you lie to me and get to the part where you beg me not to kill you?”
He swallows, quickly realising he can’t get out of this through sheer arrogance. At least he’s somewhat smart. “You don’t get it,” he whispers.
I arch an eyebrow. This is the part where he’ll try to justify what he did, and I’ll have to feel sorry for him. I wish he knew I’m not capable of that. I just want to watch him bleed.
“What is it about him that Levi loves so much? He asks quietly looking me in the eye. “I got it when he chose you, but Kai? He’s some stray off the street. You don’t get it either, do you?”
I frown. “So, this is about Kai?”
He shakes his head.
“No, this is about me. It should have been me. I would have been so good for him,” he says. “For you both.”
I fight my urge to laugh because he is even more delusional than I thought. He’ll never realise what he did wrong in the first place but it’s my fault this went so far.
“Is that so?” I ask, deciding to have a little fun with this. “Show me then.”
I watch his lips part just as he looks around the room at everyone watching us. His eyes meet mine again and then he nods, standing.
I shake my head. “No, crawl.”
The battle in his eyes is clear, the humiliation of it eating at him. “I’m not—”
“Like I said, I could kill you now, don’t you want to convince me not to?”
He flinches, realising what I mean—what I want him to do—but at the mention of death, he sinks down to the grey rug and leans forward onto all-fours.
Thick silence fills the room, all eyes on Adam as he makes his way toward me, gingerly crawling on the rug until he stops short in front of me.
He stares up at me, and at this angle, I could slit his throat, but I want to enjoy this. I lift an eyebrow, curious to see just how far he’ll go. It’s embarrassing how he doesn’t even think about it as he places a hand on my knee. But before he can take it any further, I card my hand through his brown hair and tug him back.
“Ahh!” he cries. “What the hell! You said—”
“You really think I’d let you touch me? I’ll be honest, I just wanted you on your knees when I told you this.” I stand from the couch, looking down at him. “Levi is mine. He has never wanted you, and he never will. You’ll never get close to him ever again, Adam. In fact, you’ll never get close to anyone again.”
“Cole…” he whispers. “Let me go or I’ll scream this entire house down and someone will call the police.”
“You think the police would arrest me?” I laugh. I’m fully aware of my own privilege and I really don’t mind dangling it in front of someone like him. “But you can scream if you’d like to. I think it’ll make it more fun for me.”
His lips part, like he’s about to say something and decides against it.
“I wish I could take my time with you tonight. I’d have loved to cut you open slowly until your blood-soaked your carpet,” I continue, “But I have to go back to Levi and Kai.”
He tries to shake his head, but I keep my grip tight, keeping him in place looking up at me, eyes flooded with tears. “You’re insane,” he whispers.
“Now you’re catching on,” I say.
My hair slips down to his throat, and I press, gripping tightly enough to cut off his air supply. He chokes, trying to bat me away but Daniel is there to hold his arms back. Veins pop out of his forehead as he strains against my hold.
“Stop,” he manages to get out.
I laugh. “Did you stop when Levi asked you to?”
His eyes flicker and I know I only need to keep this up for a couple of minutes, watching life seep out of his eyes slowly before he passes out. I ease the pressure around his neck, giving him a split second to allow air to flow into his lungs.
“C-cole—” he manages but I tighten my grip again, watching as he struggles in my hold, eyes rolling back as his entire body thrashes.
“And by the way, Kai is a million times the person you are. He’s everything to both Levi and I.”
My heart races in my chest, euphoria surging through me. Having Adam’s life in my hands feels better than I ever thought it would. As much as I’ve always known I was capable of killing someone, I never imagined the thrill of it to be this much. I could get drunk on the fear in Adam’s eyes. I want to bottle it and keep it to myself.
But I know if I killed him, I couldn’t return to the Cole both Kai and Levi love. I don’t think I’m willing to risk that.
“You’re dying tonight, Adam,” I say, “I hope you know that’s your own doing.”
I let him go and he sags to the floor, sucking in a loud breath as he claws. His entire body tremors as he coughs, resting on his back I look down at him for a second then at my watch. It’s nearly three in the morning. I need to end this and get back to the hospital before Levi wakes up.
“You’re crazy,” Adam says, still clutching his throat as he struggles to get up on his feet, like a newborn fawn. “This is fucking insane. I’m going to call the police.”
He tries to move past me, but I shift my body in time, blocking his way. He stumbles, falling forward, and landing on his stomach. A loud thud sounds through the room when he knocks his head on the hardwood floor.
Adam groans loudly, writhing on the ground like a worm. “Ahh, fuck! Just leave me alone. I don’t even know what you want!”
“You aren’t listening to me, are you?” I kneel, digging my knee into his back and tugging at his sweat-damp hair again. “I told you I want you dead and if I had it my way, I’d tie you up in here and cut you piece by piece as I drain you of your blood slowly. And before you died, I’d get Kai and Levi here and let you watch me fuck them in your blood.”
He shakes under me, and I realise he’s crying. “Okay, Cole. Okay. Fine, I’m sorry, okay? I won’t come near Levi again. Just let me go. You don’t have to do this.”
It’s a pitiful apology but we’re way past those now anyway. “Your pathetic apology is not mine to accept. You’re right about one thing though, I don’t have to do this, but I want to,” I tell him.
I stand, leaving him on the floor. He squirms, his body shaking with soft cries. I don’t feel any hint of sympathy as Daniel picks him up and deposits him on the couch again.
He whips his head around, that wild, desperate look back in his eyes but before he can open his mouth to say anything, one of Daniel’s guys puts a thick clear plastic bag over his head, gripping at his neck tightly so no air escapes.
Adam's hands fly up, trying to claw at him but he doesn’t let up, glove-clad hands only squeezing tighter.
I watch the plastic fill with air, the condensation turning it white. Adam watches me, eyes wide with terror as he continues to twist and thrash, muffled panic ringing around the room.
I cross my arms, as his body slowly stops fighting, twitching once before he slumps against the grey couch.
Outside, the sound of stray cats and London foxes fills the air but it’s completely silent in here. I watch as life drains out of Adam Roth’s body and my only regret is that I didn’t get to watch him bleed.
“You should get back to the hospital,” Daniel says. “We’ll clean this up.”
I give Adam one final look, his plastic bag-covered head lolled unnaturally to the side on the couch. By the time the police come to speak to him tomorrow, he’ll be dead. Levi won't ever have to waste his time thinking about him again.
Now I just need to figure out what to do with Kenny.