Chapter 27
“Mutt, my man. Cassie will be here any minute.” Mutt lifts his head to give me a look that drips of judgment and drops it back onto his paws.
“I’ve told you I’m sorry, buddy. How long do you plan on giving me the silent treatment?”
At this, he stands, stretches, farts, and then curls up again but this time with his rump facing me. Mutt might as well be saying kiss my ass, pal.
He’s been this way since I got back. Scared the hell out of me at first. Took him to the vet and everything. After giving him a clean bill of health, it was my mom who suggested the obvious.
Mutt is pissed.
And I’m starting to think Mom is right. I’ve left Mutt with my parents plenty, but this time was my longest by far. Little man probably thought I’d abandoned him.
The crunch of tires on gravel and the thud of a car door perks up both mine and Mutt’s ears.
Last night was Josie’s kid’s Christmas band concert, and I promised her I’d be there to see Abby’s solo. For some reason, it didn’t cross my mind that Cassie would be, too. All this Josie and Tyler stuff has been the last thing on my mind.
Sitting next to her, making polite conversation, was its own kind of torture.
It pissed me the fuck off. That’s not us.
Cassie and I don’t make awkward small talk.
It ate at me until I finally asked her to come over today.
She may be with Sam, but she’s still my friend, dammit.
And I miss her. I miss talking to her, I miss laughing with her.
Hell, I even miss her giving me shit about smoking.
All of this still confuses the hell out of me and screws with my head, but I can’t deny how badly I need her in my life.
I want to tell her everything, and some days I feel like I’m close. Then there’s the days where I can hardly lift my head, when it takes all I’ve got to roll out of bed.
Mutt jumps up, tail thumping against my leg in time with the beating of my heart.
“Oh, now you’re in a good mood,” I mutter, but the little traitor ignores me.
As soon as I open the front door, Mutt springs into action, running like he has all four limbs until he reaches her. And what a sight she is.
For a second I just stand there, staring like an idiot. Having her back at my house knocks something loose in my chest I didn’t even realize was wound that tight. I have half a mind to run full speed to her just like my dog, but I hold back because I’m a grown-ass man.
A cold snap is setting in, and Cassie is all bundled up in a purple puffer jacket, dark hair tucked under a matching beanie with a cute little pom-pom on top.
When she kneels to be assaulted by doggy kisses, that pom-pom bounces, and a smile crawls across my face.
It feels like the first real thing I’ve felt in weeks.
And if Mutt could smile, his little snout would be grinning ear to ear.
“Okay, Mutt. That’s enough.” Little shit. Won’t hardly look at me but with Cassie, he’s trying to slip her the tongue.
Cassie stands, adjusts her beanie, and heads my way, but her eyes stay trained on the ground.
“It’s freezing out here and I’m barefoot. Pick up the pace, angel.”
That seems to relax her. She lifts her head and cracks a smile and the sight is like a shock to my system. God, I’ve missed that smile. Holding the door open, I usher her in and out of the cold, my fingers itching to haul her to my chest.
She shrugs out of her coat, but when she tugs off the beanie, her hair stands on end from static. Extending her pointer finger, she touches my arm and a quick jolt of electricity cracks in the air. We both jump, laughing, and the tension between us breaks.
Seizing the moment, I catch her wrist and pull her into me.
For a second, she stiffens in surprise, and I almost let go, but then her arms come around me, squeezing tight.
My eyes fall shut, and out of nowhere my nose begins to sting.
I have to take a steadying breath to keep my emotions at bay.
Cassie must know because I feel as she smooths a hand up and down my back, the touch grounding me to this moment even more.
We break apart, and Cassie takes a lungful of air, a string of words coming out all in one big rush. “Liam, I really need to tell you something. Sam and I broke up. I ended it.” She peers up at me through those gorgeous eyes. “He wasn’t right for me.”
My eyes slam shut. “Thank fuck.” Hands shaking, I pull her into me again, forehead dropping to rest on her shoulder. “I have no right to feel this way when I’ve put you through hell lately, but thank fuck.”
“Liam, I’ve been worried,” she says, words muffled against my chest. “Everyone has.”
Mutt lets out a bark and we break apart. He’s sitting at our feet, head cocked like he wants in on the hug.
Cassie scoops him into her arms, and he nuzzles against her. “Are you feeling left out, little mister?”
Mutt, satisfied with this attention, wriggles free and trots to his bed.
With my hand at the small of her back, I lead Cassie to the couch, where she settles onto her usual spot. I drop down beside her, searching my mind for where to begin.
“I don’t deserve it, but I have to ask. Cassie, angel, I need you to forgive me.” The words come out as raw as I’ve felt the last several weeks.
Cassie puts a hand on my arm. “Forgive you for what, exactly?”
Everything. Being a broken man. Fucking around in Nashville while she was here worrying about me. Wanting her while keeping her at arm’s length. Again, I have to fight to keep my emotions in check. It’s a fine line before my brain will say fuck this and shut down again. It’s always like this.
“For being me,” I land on, around a lump in my throat.
Forcibly, I meet her hazel gaze.
“There’s nothing wrong with who you are. But you do need to talk to someone about whatever’s going on.”
“I’m trying.” I rake a hand through my hair. “It’s just so fucking hard.” I grab my phone from the coffee table and scroll to the contact from Austin. “Do you know anything about this guy?”
Cassie takes the phone from me. “Benjamin Greene…” She repeats it under her breath, then her eyes widen. “This is Austin’s therapist. I gave him this guy’s number.”
I nod slowly and take the phone from her, placing it back on the table. “Austin gave me his number a couple weeks ago. Said if this guy could help him, giving him a call is worth a shot.”
“And you’ve called him, yes?”
I shake my head, and all the air seems to leave my lungs. “It’s not that simple.” My eyes drop to my phone sitting on the table. “Every time I think I’m ready, it’s like I freeze up. I can’t do it.”
Cassie’s quiet for a moment, then shifts closer so our shoulders brush and her hand finds mine.
“Do you remember what you told me the night we did something low-key illegal?” A small smile lifts my lips remembering that night.
“I asked you, if there is a God, why didn’t he intervene for my mom.
And you told me maybe people are the intervention. Do you remember that?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“So let me be that for you. When you’re ready, I can sit with you or make the appointment for you. It’s up to you.” She pauses. “Do you actually want this? Therapy?”
I release a shaky breath. “I don’t wanna live inside my head anymore, Cassie. I can’t keep doing this.”
“Okay.” She squeezes my hand. “As a therapist, I should tell you to call right now. But as your friend? I’m here when you’re ready. Two in the morning, pimple patches and all. You call, and I’ll be here.”
The lump in my throat is too big to swallow, so I just nod and squeeze her hand. We sit like this for a moment, till I let out a long breath and reach for something lighter. “So, Josie and your cousin, huh?” I shake my head. “This small world just got smaller.”
Cassie launches into the craziest story about Tyler and Josie meeting in college. Then she lowers her voice, even though it’s just the two of us here and swears me to secrecy. My jaw hits the floor when she reveals the secret. Tyler is Abby’s father.
Josie’s been in my life as far back as I can remember.
Her brother and I went through phases of friendship and she and my mom are tight.
I feel like I know everything there is to know about her.
Except this. She’s never breathed a word about Abby’s father.
I always assumed he was a douche like her ex-husband. But Tyler seems like a standup guy.
I’m still reeling, trying to square up the Josie I know with this new information when Cassie’s phone lights up. She leans forward to get a better look at the screen.
“Speak of the devil.” Cassie grins at the screen and swipes to answer. “Hey, Ty. What’s up?”
Mutt chooses this moment to fart again, and I chuckle. “Dude, what have you eaten today?” I murmur.
I can hear Tyler’s voice through the phone, but can’t make out his words.
Cassie chews her lip, nodding. “Um, I’m not home right now, but I can be there in thirty minutes or so. Will that work?”
There’s a pause, and her eyes flick to mine and down. “Liam’s. I’ll see you in thirty.”
When she hangs up, she’s smiling. “It seems my shy, sweet cousin needs advice about Josie.”
“Oh boy. I’m sure he does.” I stand, stretching and pull Cassie to her feet. “Go help Tyler. He’s gonna need it.” I hope the guy knows what he’s in for. Josie loves big, but she’s feisty.
Cassie stands to leave, and for a second, we just look at each other, until she pulls me in for one more hug. When she loops her arms around my neck, for just a moment it feels like nothing else in the world matters but us.
“Call me if you need me,” she says. “I mean it, Liam.”
“I know you do. And I promise I will.”
I hold her a beat longer, not ready to let go. “We’re gonna be okay. I hope you know that.”
Cassie pulls back to look at me. Her lower lips is trembling, eyes shining, but she manages the sweetest smile and nods. “I know.”
She turns and opens my door, not looking back. I’m left with the sweet scent of her still lingering in the air and there’s not a single part of me that doesn’t ache to have her right back here in my arms.
With her tail lights fading in the distance, I turn to Mutt and even he seems back to his old self.
I stretch out on the floor next to his bed to scratch his belly, hoping it’ll earn his forgiveness.
“Just between us, little man, I love that woman.”
Mutts hind leg starts thumping, and I assure him our favorite girl is back. There’s a lot left to figure out, but having her back and admitting my feelings out loud, even if it’s to a dog who doesn’t speak, makes it feel a bit more manageable.