Chapter 44
FIVE-ALARM FIRE
MABEL
The banging of a jackhammer rips through my apartment.
I sit bolt upright.
Blink. Check the time. Stare longingly at my pillow.
But nope. I drag my exhausted self out of the bed at the ungodly hour of six.
I had to wake up even earlier than usual since I stormed off to make my point of sleeping in the city.
Like I wanted to sleep in the bed he got me.
I set five alarms. No more chirping. No more pleasant sounds. I’m going to be a morning person if it kills me.
I march out of bed straight to the shower. After cranking the water as hot as I can, I step under a scalding stream. That new leaf means I’m going to be all about Afternoon Delight, Afternoon Delight, Afternoon Delight.
Not this hole in my heart.
This sting in my eyes.
This tightness in my throat.
No one notices your tears when you cry in the shower.
But it was inevitable—the breakup. It never works out when you try to strike up a romance with your business partner. It just doesn’t. You can only break the rules for so long. Eventually, you have to choose. I’d do well to remember that.
I get out of the shower, and I think of recipes. I get dressed and imagine names to call new treats. I get on the road and plan the day ahead. I am focused. I am a new Mabel. I am all business.
I arrive at Afternoon Delight earlier than I’ve ever been there before, and I’m in the zone, prepping for the day.
Before anyone else can even show up to help me, I take off.
The Danishes are ready, so I drop them to the guys in the town square.
The cookies are all set for Joni, so I take those to her.
Then, I do the hard thing. I head to the university, going the speed limit the entire way. I find my mother in her office, towering shelves of books along the wall and papers all over her desk.
She blinks and looks at me. “Mabel?”
“I was late yesterday, and that was rude,” I say, cutting to the chase. I thrust out the flowers I picked up for her as well as a small box of baked goods. This is getting to be my life. Apologies and gifts. Gifts and apologies.
“You really didn’t have to do that,” she says, taking both and setting them down.
“I did though,” I say, keeping my chin up and staying strong.
“Because you were right. I was distracted yesterday. I should have been more focused. I should have been early. I should have dressed better. I didn’t even run a brush through my hair, and I’m sorry I showed up like that for you. That was wrong.”
She takes a beat, giving me a soft smile. “All of us have bad days.”
But it’s not that simple. “You were right about everything. I was distracted by a guy. But he broke it off. Well, we broke it off last night. But it’s fine. I’m not going to worry about that. I’m going to focus on the bakery like I should.” I’m resolute and give a nod.
She frowns sympathetically. “Did you like him?”
My chest aches. My heart hurts. I liked him so much it was, well, more than like. I was in love with him. “I did,” I say, swallowing past the hurt. “It’s Corbin. Theo’s friend.”
Recognition dawns in her eyes. “He’s always seemed like such a generous, thoughtful guy.”
I wince but then tell myself to stay strong. “He is. But it was clear it wasn’t going to work out since we’re business partners and all. I need to focus on business. That’s what you’ve been telling me, and it just makes sense.”
She tilts her head. “But is that what you really want?”
What I want is to wake up next to Corbin. To feel his arms around me. To hear him whispering words of support in my ear. To experience his kisses on my neck. To know that we could do this together. But clearly that’s not going to happen.
“I know myself. I wasn’t giving enough to anything. You know me—I’m always too much or never enough,” I say, trying to make light of the truth of my life.
She stands, strides over to me, sets her hands on my shoulders. “Mabel, that’s not true.”
But the aching in my chest tells me that it is true. It’s too true. My eyes sting. “It’s okay, Mom. I need to just make the best of this bakery. You said it yourself. I was distracted.”
“Dear, I just don’t want life to be hard for you. I want you to have opportunities. That’s what I’ve always wanted. But love isn’t always a distraction.”
In my case it was. I look at the clock. “I’m going to be late if I don’t go.”
She squeezes my hand. “Thank you for coming by. Everyone loved the cake.”
“Thanks,” I say, then tears streak down my face as I walk out, shoes echoing in the wide hallway. I don’t know why her colleagues liking the cake is doing a number on me, but it sure is. It’s shot all my emotions sky-high.
On the drive back, I swipe at my cheeks. When I arrive at the bakery, Corbin’s bike is locked up by a lamppost out front.
Seriously?
I steel myself.
Don’t let him see you cry. Don’t let him know you’re hurt. Don’t let him know you missed him.
I march inside, and apparently I don’t listen to myself. All of my hurt blasts out in an accusatory: “Why are you here?”
I didn’t mean it for it to come out like that.
But he takes it in his stride. “I wanted to help.”
“Dude,” I say, and I want to shout, You dumped me. But he’s my business partner, and I can’t lash out at him like I would at Dax. We agreed to be adults. We agreed to be civilized. At the very least I can do that.
“I thought you had hockey and stuff,” I say, moving behind the counter but keeping my distance.
Oh, do I sound annoyed? I think I do. I think I don’t care.
“I have the day off. And I try to help out here when I have the day off. I always planned to be here today.”
Well la-dee-dah.
If I had looked at the bakery schedule this morning like I should have, I would’ve seen that. It is his day to be here. “Of course,” I say brightly, cheerily, as happy as I could possibly be. Because I’m not letting on that he’s hurt me.
“We’ve got a lot going on, so it’s good that you’re here,” I say. “And Aisha should be arriving any minute. Audrey too. She’s feeling better.”
Even though I want to say I wish you didn’t come in.
It would be a lot easier for me to nurse my irritation and to cry occasionally if you weren’t around.
But somehow I have to white-knuckle my way through the day because seconds later Aisha strolls out from the kitchen with a tray of orange habanero cookies.
“The gang’s all back together,” she sings, “and today is going to be a great day.”
Doubtful, but I keep that to myself.
I’m all business until he leaves in the afternoon to pick up his daughter.
I’ve never been more grateful to see him go because it’s just too hard to work next to the man I was falling madly in love with.