Chapter 16 #3
“Because the town wants to get to know you, and someone’s favorite movie says a lot about them,” she says. “I send out the name of the movie ahead of time, and everyone watches it on their own time, and then we get together to talk about it. Or whatever else comes up.”
Obviously. I look out at the crowd in the park. “This is…chaotic.”
“It’s not. Not really. Not if you understand what’s going on.” She pauses. “It’s like hockey.”
I laugh. “How so?”
“It’s like you said at Perks and Rec the other night. On the surface, it might look chaotic, but when you’re in it, you see that it’s working just the way it’s supposed to.”
I did say that. And that is true of hockey. The game is fast-paced with lots of moving parts, and it can look like a bunch of guys skating around, constantly chasing a puck, but there’s offensive and defensive strategy, and when seasoned players hit that puck, they know what to expect.
“Movie night is supposed to devolve into talk about birds?”
“It’s not devolving!” she protests, looking a little offended.
“Yes, if our goal was to sit here and quietly watch a movie, then sure, what’s happening now would seem like the event is falling apart.
But our goal is to just all be together and have a good time.
” She looks at the group gathered and smiles. “Mission accomplished.”
“That’s it?” I ask. “Just get together and have fun?”
She nods. “It’s always about community and enjoyment and including everyone and making the town better. Sometimes the conduit for that is a movie, sometimes it’s gardening, sometimes it’s otters.”
“That’s…”
“Not what you expected.”
“Right.”
She gives me a thoughtful look. “I get it. Your perception of something’s success and worth really depends on why you’re doing it.
Like, if you’re at a hockey game to score a lot of points and have amazing statistics and get a win, when things go off the rails it will feel very different to you than it will for me who comes to that same game, sits in the stands, has a great time with my family and friends no matter the final score. ”
“We’re talking about the Revelers now?” I ask. “You’re saying movie night and hockey games where the team sings, and dances are the same thing?”
She shakes her head. “Yes, and no. I’m talking about you and me more broadly.
Your goal for your career was hockey—playing, scoring, winning.
Then you got hurt and couldn’t do those things anymore.
You were used to having all of that govern your life, and then it was suddenly gone.
Then you come here and have a chance to play again, but the goal isn’t the same.
Because my goal is to bring people together and give them a good time.
“I took hockey and made it even more entertaining for the people watching. Because that’s always my goal.
But it changes the game for you. It’s not what you expected.
It’s not straightforward. It’s not just about the points on the board or even the rules as you know them.
I can understand why that would feel really chaotic and out of your control. ”
I frown. Dammit. She hit the nail directly on the head.
But she’s not apologizing. Or saying she’s going to change things.
I don’t feel panic or resentment, though. Nora is in charge. It might be a constant string of what-the-hell-is-happening events while I’m here, but if she’s leading the way, at least it will be done with heart.
I look around the park. This is life in Rebel. This is life in Nora Delaune’s orbit.
If I’m going to stay here for any length of time—in this town or where this woman’s energy can reach me—then I’m going to have to accept that.
“You never feel out of control because you just embrace the chaos?” I ask her. “I mean, you create chaos. Does that help you feel more in control somehow?”
I need to know this. Maybe I can learn something here that will make things feel less tumultuous when I leave Rebel. Because, honestly, while I’m here, I have no chance of escaping the mayhem. I’ll just have to hold on and let Nora drive this bus.
“I wouldn’t say I embrace chaos,” she says. “I just always keep my goal in mind.”
“Having fun.”
She lifts a shoulder. “Enjoying the moment. Being present in the right now. Making the moment the best it can be for the people around me. That keeps things simple. Sure, things might get a little loud or tumultuous around me, but if I focus on what I really want, then it keeps me clear. If I go to bed at the end of the day and can think of one person whose day was better because of me, then I succeeded and the rest is just noise.”
I study her. It sounds very simplistic and idealistic, but I don’t think Nora is na?ve. She knows bad things happen. She just tries to be one of the good things that happen to people.
And she actually enjoys the things she does for others. Including Not Really Movie Night and Definitely Not Really Hockey. I can only imagine what Not Actually Otter Club actually is.
She’s just so fucking cute when she’s putting together a plan and then watching it go off the rails.
She reminds me of a kid setting up dominoes just to knock them over. Or a cat gracefully walking across a table, weaving and stepping carefully, only to get to that one full glass…that she tips right off the edge.
Sure, it might all be planned to happen that way, but it still results in a mess.
Jesus. How can I be so attracted to someone who not only doesn’t get bothered over chaos, but often causes it?
But I am.
It’s more than physical attraction. Something that pulls me closer as a voice in my head whispers, What if you let her mess up your life a little? Would that really be so bad?
Looking at all of these people tonight, thinking about all of the people I’ve met here, all of the people who interact with Nora on a regular basis—my sister included—is there a single one who feels like she’s actually messing anything up?
I almost laugh out loud at that thought.
No. Nora makes people happy.
With intention.
Even bypassing her own favorite movie to make everyone else who shows up here feel like what they enjoy matters to her.
I don’t know if I should let her mess up my life a little while I’m here, but I’m not sure I can avoid it.