Chapter 17 #2
I giggle and roll my eyes. I saw that coming and I let it happen.
Because I really like flirting with Alex Olsen.
We carry everything to my truck, and with Alex’s help, it only takes one trip.
“Thanks,” I say.
“Give me a ride home?” he asks. “It’s right next door to your office.”
“Of course.”
It’s a ridiculous four blocks from here. I had to drive from my office at City Hall because of all the stuff I had to bring, but I can see City Hall and the roof of Perks and Rec—and Alex’s apartment—from here.
But I want to extend my time with him.
Even though it’s a bad idea, I know it.
Sure, I could sleep with him, enjoy it for seven months, and not be heartbroken when he leaves because I know better than to make plans beyond that. And I probably will. Sleep with him and enjoy it, that is.
But spending time with him, talking and laughing and flirting and liking him, is where it gets more difficult to believe that my heart will be totally intact when this is over.
We make the short drive, and without a word, Alex helps carry all the stuff from my truck up to my office.
I twist the knob and push the door open.
“You don’t lock this door?” he asks, following me in.
I hit the light switch just inside the door. “No. City Hall is locked up, but I don’t lock this one.”
“Why not?”
“Why would I?”
“So people can’t take your stuff,” he says, as if that’s obvious.
“If someone needs markers or posterboard or a confetti canon, they’d come ask and I’d say yes anyway,” I say with a shrug, carrying the snacks to the countertop near the fridge.
“What about your computers and other expensive equipment?”
I point toward the closet where the poles and sheet are stored. He heads in that direction, and I start unpacking the treats.
“I guess I just don’t think anyone would do that,” I say when we meet in the main outer office area.
“You’re very trusting.”
“I am,” I agree. “I haven’t been given a reason not to trust people in this situation.”
“But with your heart…that’s a different story.”
My eyes widen, but I nod. “For sure.”
“With men. And your mom.”
I nod again.
“Got it.”
“What have you got?” I ask, stepping toward him.
“That you believe the best of people until they screw up.”
“Oh. Yeah, that’s true.”
“And I’m fucked.”
I frown. “What do you mean?”
“I messed up already. With Harley. And Ruth.”
Oh.
He did.
Dammit.
How did I forget that?
Did I forget that?
Of course not. But… I like him anyway.
But do you trust him?
Strangely, I know the answer right away.
I do. I trust Alex. I trust the things he’s told me, and the way he looks at me.
He likes me. He wants me. He’s out of his element here, but he trusts me. Like the little girl did with Sully, the big monster, in Monsters, Inc. She just went with it, trusting that Sully would take care of her, lead the way, keep her safe.
Am I Alex’s Sully?
Do I want to be?
That’s hilarious but…I like it.
I know he’s waiting for an answer, and there is something in his expression that makes me think this really matters.
“Yeah, that did happen with Harley and Ruth,” I say, acknowledging the situation. “But I still trust you. I guess you’re an exception to some of my rules.”
“On the surface, I would say it’s because I didn’t do anything directly to you, but I know you now,” he says. “I think doing something to someone you love is even worse.”
I’m glad he knows this about me. “That’s true.”
He steps closer again and now lifts his hand to cup my cheek. “Who takes care of you, Nora?”
“What do you mean? Everyone.”
“Do they? Or do they let you take care of them and that makes you happy, so it feels like they’re taking care of you?”
I stare at him. I’ve never had anyone ask me that before. “It’s true that taking care of the people of this town makes me happy,” I admit.
“I know. And I’m so glad you have that. But you know you don’t have to keep paying them back, right?”
“I don’t know what that means.” But I think I do.
“You take care of them because they took care of you. Your mom left you here. This town raised you. You’re grateful.”
“Of course, I am. They gave me an amazing life. Tons of love. Wonderful memories. I am safe, secure, loved, and taken care of here.”
“But you don’t have to keep paying them back for all of that,” he repeats. “They would still love you if there were fewer clubs. If you took a day or two off.” He pauses then says, “If you left.”
I step back. “What are you talking about?”
“You don’t want to leave this town. I understand your life is here. All the people you love. But do you want to stay or are you afraid of leaving?”
My heart is pounding now, and I’m not sure why. “I’ve never had a better reason to leave than I have for staying,” I say honestly.
He watches me for a long moment. Then he nods. “Okay.”
I don’t move. My heart is still racing, and I don’t want him to stop touching me, but I feel like he’s seeing things no one else sees when he looks at me.
This makes no sense. He just got here two days ago. He doesn’t know this town. This town confuses him. It makes him shake his head and roll his eyes. But now he’s asking me if I’m here because I’m afraid to leave. Why? Why does he care if I stay?
My heart gives an extra hard thump in my chest.
He’s leaving. Is he wondering about what I might be open to when that time comes?
I take a deep breath. I have to stop those kinds of thoughts. All of the other guys have left Rebel, and I’ve chosen to stay. It’s the reason my relationships haven’t lasted anyway. And Alex knows this. So he shouldn’t be asking me these things. I cannot let my heart get involved here.
Then he does something that makes me think simply uh-oh.
He cups my face in both hands, says, “Fuck, I like you so much,” and kisses me.