Chapter 12 #2
I am just pulling on my shirt when I hear footsteps on the stairs. I pause to listen, waiting to see if Eden is only heading to her room or if she’s coming to talk to me, and I’m kind of hoping it’s the latter so that I can try to push her buttons. But I quickly realize that it’s not Eden at all.
“Jesus Christ,” Tiffani says as she barges into my room. Her cheeks are flushed red and she looks mortified. She pushes my door closed behind her, then throws her hands up at me. “I thought you had a girl over!”
I blink at her, confused. I didn’t know she was coming over. Last I knew, I was supposed to be going to hers . “What?”
“That damn stepsister of yours who came into existence out of nowhere just gave me a damn heart attack!” she explains, shaking her head fast. Her hair is tied up into a high ponytail, and it swings rapidly around her shoulders. “Honestly, I was ready to march up here and kill you.”
“Tiffani,” I say firmly, and she stops talking. I step toward her, place my hands on her shoulders, and just look at her. “Calm down. It’s only Eden.”
She is breathing heavily, but she nods. Her blue eyes pierce mine, and she cocks her head to one side. “You’re right. You wouldn’t do that to me, would you? Because I don’t know what I would do if you ever did.”
I think about Naomi last night, but then I remind myself that I was drunk.
It doesn’t count. I was drunk when I kissed Ally Jones a couple months ago too.
And I’m pretty sure I kissed Morgan Young once, but I can’t remember exactly.
It only ever happens when I am way too drunk, but still, I don’t want to find out what Tiffani would do if she knew.
She once got me suspended from school for cheating by claiming she wrote my English lit essay all because I forgot her birthday and didn’t make a huge deal of it like she expected me to.
And the only reason Mom knows I often smoke weed is because Tiffani told her.
Again, all because I forgot her fucking birthday.
I give Tiffani the smallest hint of a smile.
She can’t ever find out. “And throw away you ? Never.” God, I hate myself so fucking much.
I wish I could just tell Tiffani that I don’t care, that she’s hot but I don’t even like her very much, that I’m only using her as a distraction.
But no, I’m too much of a pathetic loser who has to maintain this bullshit relationship to convince everyone that my life is good, that I’m fine, that I’ve got everything figured out.
I started high school with every intention of ensuring no one ever saw me as pathetic and someone to be messed with, and hooking up with the coolest girl back in my freshman year was a surefire way to guarantee that.
Without Tiffani, I’d have to find my own status all over again.
I sling my arm around Tiffani’s shoulders and pull her close against my chest, guiding her back over to the door, but she quickly pushes me away from her.
“I’ve been waiting for you to come over,” she tells me, her tone changing.
It becomes sharper, back to its usual. “What the hell have you been doing this entire time?”
I follow her down the stairs, and I’m thinking, Here we go again. Demanding Tiffani is back. “Chill out,” I say, rolling my eyes behind her. “I was gonna head over in an hour, like you said.”
“You could have at least answered my calls. You know I need you to always answer them so I know where you are.”
“I couldn’t hear them over my music.” That’s a lie. I saw her calling, but I just wasn’t in the right mind frame to answer. She was the last person I wanted to talk to. It’s not like she would understand, because she doesn’t know the truth. No one does.
We stop in the hall, and she turns around to face me, most likely to start another unnecessary argument, but before she can say anything more, I spot Eden. She is on the couch in the living room, her eyes glued to us, watching. It’s all she ever seems to do.
“Now what the hell is your problem?” I ask her.
Eden continues to stare at me, her expression blank. She looks unfazed. “Geez.”
“Shut up, Tyler,” Tiffani says, and I sense her shaking her head from beside me. As if she’s on Eden’s side.
“Whatever.” I turn back to Tiffani, and although she is grinding my gears, I still expect our plans to follow through. “Let’s just get outta here.”
“Actually…” she says slowly, and she pushes out her lower lip, something she always does when she knows she’s about to piss me off. That’s why I know that whatever she says next, I’m not going to be happy with.
I sigh. “What now?”
Tiffani turns away and walks into the living room, stepping in front of the TV, much to Eden’s irritation.
She’s wondering what the hell is going on too.
It’s obvious from her expression. She’s not very good at hiding her true thoughts, it seems, but maybe she doesn’t realize how readable her expression can be.
“New plan,” Tiffani says, and I step curiously into the living room, listening.
She is glancing between both Eden and me, and I don’t like it.
“Austin’s throwing a last-minute party and we’re going.
You too, Eden. It’s Eden, right? You don’t really look the partying type, but Rachael says I have to invite you along. So come.”
“Back up a second,” I blurt. What the hell?
Another party? I barely survived the one last night.
The absolute last thing I want to do right now is go to another, where I will have to laugh at jokes that aren’t funny.
Where I will have to nod to music I don’t like.
Where I will be the one to have to drink the most because everyone thinks I can handle it when I definitely can’t.
I just want to relax, to be with Tiffani, to let her distract me.
I head over to her, placing my hand on her hip and moving my lips to ear.
“I thought we were going to your place. You know…”
“Reschedule that,” she murmurs. She moves around me and claps her hands together, moving her attention to Eden, the goddamn stranger who she only met a few hours ago. “Okay, so you’re coming, Eden. And you too, Tyler. You’re coming and you’re not getting wasted for once.”
So I’m not even allowed to get drunk in order to survive the party? “The fuck?” I hate that she always makes decisions for me.
She already has her car keys in her hand, ready to leave. So much for early notice. “Rachael and Megs are already at my place getting ready, so come on, let’s go!”
“Wait,” Eden says, and when I flash my eyes at her, she is getting to her feet.
She doesn’t look too enthusiastic about the idea of a party, but she isn’t objecting to it either.
If anything, she only looks apprehensive.
Like Tiffani, I wouldn’t have taken her for the partying type of girl, but I guess she’s only going to continue surprising me.
“I need to get an outfit. Give me five minutes to find something.”
Tiffani laughs out loud, a laugh of pity, but Eden probably can’t even tell the difference as Tiffani reaches for her arm and yanks her forward.
“You can borrow something of mine. Now come on! We’re leaving for the party in two hours.
” She lets go of her and makes for the front door, car keys jingling in her hand, her chin held high.
I follow her, but only because it seems like I don’t really have a choice right now.
“I thought you were grounded,” I hear Eden murmur as I’m leaving.
I stop, turning back around once more to study her.
Who even is this girl, really? I figure she must be from Portland, but only because I know Dave is from there.
I know she’s only here for the summer. And I know she doesn’t know who I am yet, because she keeps testing me whether she realizes it or not.
She keeps watching me, keeps talking back, keeps questioning everything.
I know she lies to her dad. And I know her eyes are hazel, because I can see them now, staring back at me without breaking contact.
I smirk at her, impressed. Most people can’t do that.
Most people look away after a few seconds. “And I thought you were sick.”
She doesn’t say anything more after that, even when we’re in Tiffani’s car en route back to her place.
I’m riding shotgun, and I push my seat as far back as it will go, just to see if Eden will tell me to fuck off or not.
She doesn’t, but I wish she would, just so I can hear the way it sounds in her voice.
She remains quiet in the backseat instead, staring out of the window, looking slightly more anxious now.
Tiffani, on the other hand, won’t shut up.
She is filling me in on the latest petty drama that I honestly could care less about, so I nod and murmur, “Really?” every once in a while just so she believes I’m listening.
I’m not though, because all I can think about is how much I am dreading this party.
They suck. The only reason I bear them is because they distract me.
They help me forget, just for a while, so I’m focused on something else other than how fucking messed up my life is.
When we pull up outside Tiffani’s place, Rachael’s and Meghan’s cars are already in the driveway, and I know they’re already inside getting ready.
I can picture it all already: I will be subjected to hours of giggling.
I will be grilled about my opinion on their outfits.
I will be the one to bring them drinks. “Your mom’s still out, right?
” I ask once we’re inside and lingering in the hall, listening to the music that’s already pounding from upstairs.
Eden looks way out of her comfort zone as she hangs back behind us, and I quickly glance around.
Tiffani’s mom wouldn’t approve of me being here again, and she’s always such a buzz kill.