Chapter 32 #2
We continue staring at each other, oblivious to everyone and everything.
“Should we go inside?” Kyle suggests, an unsure tone to his voice. “I just want to make sure we can hear each other, and we’re both on the same page at the end of the conversation.”
I chew on my bottom lip, unable to look away from him. If there was a way for us to get inside without moving, life would be perfect.
My brother decides this would be the right time to butt in.
“Get a room,” he yells, making everyone around the pool laugh and join in the chant.
Kyle grabs me by the hand and pulls me with him inside the house. As soon as the door closes behind us, we find ourselves in the empty living area of the house. No one seems to be around, which is a blessing.
We end up standing right in the middle of the room, holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes.
“Owen told me that he had me on speaker when I called him the other night,” Kyle starts.
“He did,” I nod. “We both decided that you’d make a good stalker, what with getting both of our cell numbers and all.”
Kyle clears his throat self-consciously. “You’re both way too easy to find.”
The silence becomes a bit too much when he doesn’t expand on that, and I don’t know what else to ask.
“I’m glad you came,” I tell him. Then, I decide to take the bull by the horns. “I was very upset at Ray and Hayden’s wedding.” I swallow hard. “I cried a lot when I got home. It upset Owen.” Another deep breath in. “He wanted to find you and kill you.”
Kyle brings our hands together to his chest. “I never felt worse than on that night. I can’t ever apologize enough for what happened, baby.”
I lick my lips nervously. “Alex called me to apologize.”
Kyle looks shocked. “He really did?”
“Yes,” I chuckle.
“What did you say?”
“I told him to never call me again, then I hung up on him.”
I laugh as I say it, expecting Kyle to laugh with me, but his face is a mask of seriousness.
“I appreciated him calling, though,” I add as an afterthought.
Kyle still has our hands together against his chest. The glasses he’s wearing make his eyes look wider and bluer, and I remember the first time I noticed him wearing them. So much has happened since then, it feels like a lifetime ago.
“I came here today totally prepared to have to deal with the aftermath of what happened that night,” he starts.
“I know I already said how sorry I was, but I will never get over that.” His voice cracks a little.
“We started this is something casual… For fun… But then, things shifted, and it became serious, at least on my end.”
“It was serious for me, too, Kyle,” I assure him.
He takes a deep breath in and nods at me in gratitude for saying that.
“I know that we didn’t date for long, and that it’s hard to make any plans for the future at this point…”
All sorts of emotions instantly flood my system. The way he’s talking to me is not giving me any warm and fuzzy feelings. Before, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be with him. Now, I’m scared he’s going to tell me that he doesn’t want to be with me.
“Kyle, I…”
“No, let me finish this.” He gives me a shy little smile. “I’ve been practicing for days, and again on my way here. I was so worried that I’d forget everything that I wanted to tell you. And now… I forgot.”
“Kyle!” I can’t help the giggle escaping my mouth.
“I had a lot of time to think about everything. I understand why you talked to Alex about me. That still doesn’t excuse the way he talked to me.
I…” Sighing, I wonder how I should tell him this next part.
“I understand that you’re good friends, but I don’t want to have anything to do with him. Not now, not ever.”
He watches me with sad eyes that are also full of understanding.
“I totally get it,” he rushes to assure me. “And I would never force you to be in his presence. I…” He runs out of breath while talking. “It’s so weird to say it, because I don’t know what these feelings in my head are. But…”
I break into a sweat, and my hands become instantly clammy. I am so focused on his mouth, worried that I will somehow miss a word of what he’s about to say.
“I’m pretty sure that I am falling in love with you.”
This is what I was hoping he’d tell me, and now that he has, I feel the sudden urge to cry.
“Fuck! I thought this was going to be a good thing. I hoped that…”
I jump up and press my lips against his. “I’m falling in love with you, too, Kyle.”
The tears are now running down the sides of my face and pooling on my lips. I am a complete mess. I thought love was supposed to be beautiful. But it’s messy and unexpected.
“I’m scared that we are going to mess it up,” I confess to him. “I don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want you to leave me when things get hard or you found someone better… Or for me to do that either.”
I will never get over my parents’ divorce. It is something I should probably get counseling for at some point in my life.
“I get it.” Kyle pulls me into a tight hug, pressing the side of my head into his chest. “I swear that I get it. And I promise that I will always try to talk things out. I’m sure that we’ll fight…”
“I hate fighting,” I mumble into his chest.
“It’s bound to happen, babe. It happens to everyone. We’ll just have to learn to work through tough situations.”
I wrap my arms around his waist and hold on tight.
The future looks bright, and a lot different than it was a couple of months ago.
So many good things can happen, and any of the bad ones will have to just be tests that we will pass.
I never failed a test in my life, and I am not about to start now.
I lean my head back to see his face better. He looks down, smiling like he just won the lottery.
“We’re really going to try this then?” I ask.
“I’m pretty sure your brother is ready to kick my ass if we don’t try it. So we have to.” He pauses for dramatic effect. “To save my life.”
The joy I feel bubbling inside of me is like nothing I felt before. Kyle Kelly is my first love, and I pray that he will be my last. We haven’t exchanged official I love you’s just yet. We have to work toward that, earn the I love you .
We will give us a chance.
No doubt about it.