CHAPTER 33 BOWER
BOWER
Why am I still so horny?
Bennett just made me come so hard that I could feel every organ in my body shake and yet, as I lie here next to him, my body is tingling and I want more.
I’ve never felt this way before with someone.
And that’s why it scares me, why I know I need to stop, but I can’t. There is this magnetic force pulling me closer and closer to him with every breath I take.
When he came to my apartment as I was leaving with Cougar, it was like he stole my heart in that moment, ripped it right from my chest and coveted it, marked it as his.
The pleading in his eyes for me to stay with him, it gutted me.
But I knew it was wrong, I knew I couldn’t accept what he was offering, but then at the last minute, when I was walking away, something inside me told me to not let go without a taste, just one taste.
Because maybe it was all in my head, this desire I was building up, maybe I just had to redirect it to Cougar, but I needed to know, so I leaned into him and dusted my lips over his, a kiss so light that anyone else would have felt nothing, but in that millisecond of my life, I felt everything.
I felt my body take flight, my heart pitter-patter harder than ever before, and my soul screaming at me that he’s the one.
He’s the one you’ve been searching for, waiting for.
But fate is so cruel, because there are consequences in being with him, consequences that marched my feet away from him and toward Cougar.
But the moment I got in Cougar’s car and he started to drive away, I knew it was wrong. So when we arrived at the restaurant, I turned toward him and couldn’t hold back the words from coming out of my mouth.
“I can’t do this. I like someone else, and I’d be leading you on if I went on this date.”
The words just flowed, as if I had zero control over them.
And I felt guilty, for many reasons. Guilty for leading Cougar on.
Guilty for canceling our date. Guilty for crossing the boundaries I set with Bennett, but as I went back to my apartment to change and take my makeup off, I didn’t want to get into my bed, I wanted his.
So on a shaky breath, I went to his apartment, looking to sob into his arms, but he wasn’t there.
Which, of course, led to fear.
Fear that he was out with someone else after I turned him down.
Fear that he wouldn’t be coming back that night.
And that fear gripped me to the point of making it hard to breathe, so I sought comfort. I climbed into his bed, only for him to return and find me.
From there, everything felt so muddled until the moment he entered me. That was when everything changed. All the worry, the anxiety, the fear, it was washed away and I felt pure joy.
I felt like I was coming home.
Like I found the missing piece in my life I’ve been searching for.
Now, cuddled into him, his breath evening out, his heart pounding against my ear, I know there is no avoiding this.
I can’t keep trying to push him away, because my soul is going to keep bringing me back to him.
So instead of trying to ignore this magnetic pull I have toward him, I’m going to embrace it while trying to figure out how to make this work.
Because I have to. I know I can’t keep up the charade I’ve been living.
The last ten days felt like torture not having him around. Then seeing him in the hallway, begging for me to stay with him, I felt like I was denying my lungs air.
Every man up until him has been mundane and hasn’t fulfilled my desires…until Bennett came back into my life. I should have known that first day, when I moved to San Francisco, that buzzing feeling I felt inside wasn’t the thrill of a new chapter. It was the thrill of being close to my person.
I drag my hand down his stomach, over his delicious abs and right to his cock that is already growing hard again.
God, there’s something to be said about being with a younger guy.
“Fuck, baby,” he says as my fingers dance over his length before I grip him and start pumping. “Goddamn it.” He shifts and then melts into the mattress as I lift and stare down at him.
He’s so fucking hot.
From his angular jaw to the scruff that I can still feel rubbing between my thighs, to his stunning eyes, so sensual when they look at me when he’s deep inside of me—he’s intoxicating.
I straddle his legs, still pumping his length.
Cockily, he places his hands behind his head and smirks as I position him at my entrance and then sit down on him.
“Christ,” he breathes out, his chest taking a deep breath.
I do the same because I’m not used to him yet and how deep he gets and how much he stretches me out. It’s new and different and addictive, because no one has made me feel the way he does.
I place my hands on his chest and start to rotate my hips, over and over again, riding him in just the right way where he’s connecting with a spot deep inside me no one has touched.
A spot that feels so damn good that I don’t want to lose the feeling.
“Shit,” I say, my head bowing and my stomach curving, getting the most out of the angle. “Oh God, Bennett.”
“Mm, that’s it, baby. Ride me. Ride me hard.”
His hands fall to my hips and he helps me move up and down, swirling and thrusting over his cock.
“Jesus, I love your tits. They’re so fucking sexy,” he says as his hand palms one of my breasts and squeezes. “So perfect.” His thumb rubs over my nipple and I moan, my pussy squeezing around him. “Fuck.” He bucks up into me.
“Play with my tits,” I say, squeezing them together as I continue to thrust over him.
He palms them, massaging them and playing with my nipples.
“I want to come on them,” he says, staring in awe up at me. “I want to come all over you, mark you as mine.”
“Do it,” I say, the thought of him claiming me sending a thrill through me. “Come all over me.”
He growls and thrusts up into me harder while squeezing my breasts.
“Yes. Again.”
He repeats it, once, twice, three times…and on the fourth, I’m feral. I’m digging my fingertips into his chest and riding over him at a relentless pace, seeking out my own orgasm that’s building until he thrusts one more time, hitting that spot that only he can reach.
“Oh my God! Bennett, fuck!” I scream right before my pussy contracts around him and I come all over his cock, my body shaking with euphoria.
“Goddamn it,” he grunts as he flips me to my back, pulls out of me, and then straddles my body.
His strong hand grips his cock and he furiously pumps himself over me, every muscle in his body straining, and it’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.
“Fuck,” he grunts just as he starts coming, shooting himself all over my chest.
Pride surges through me as he slows down, the meaning behind this choice powerful, because now…I’m his.
He opens his eyes and stares down at me, a feral, hungry expression crossing his features as he takes his palm and spreads his cum over my chest while stating, “Mine.”
His.
I’m all his.
No one else’s.
“Fuck,” I cry out as he spanks me again, the sound ringing out in the shower, water pelting around us as he has me bent over, pumping into me while his other hand is pressing against my clit, playing with it, bringing me to the edge once again.
“Squeeze my cock, all of it,” he says, thrusting into me so hard that I have to put my hand against the tile to steady myself.
“Right there, Bennett, right there,” I call out as he grinds into me and glides along my clit.
“Fuck, so good.” I bite down on my lip, my body buzzing, my legs numbing, my orgasm right on the edge.
And with one last thrust, I’m flying over the edge, calling out his name as he pulls out of me, grunts, and then comes all over my ass and back.
“Jesus fuck,” he groans.
I let out a deep breath and turn around to face him.
His face is pure joy as he presses his thumb under my chin, angling my head back so he can take my mouth with his.
We make out for a few moments, the water hitting the both of us as he claims my lips, my tongue, my body.
When we separate, he whispers, “Mine.”
I smooth my hand up his rock-hard chest and say, “I’m all yours.”
“Good.” He kisses me one last time and then helps me wash up before wrapping us both in towels.
Towel wrapped around his waist, he rubs his hands up and down my arms as he stares down at me, a smile pulling at his lips.
“Why are you smiling?”
He chuckles. “Oh, I don’t know, the girl that I’ve been crushing on for fucking years just admitted that she’s mine. No big deal or anything.”
My cheeks pinken. “So that crush you always talked about, it was me?”
“Yeah, I told you that. It was you the entire time. Always has been you.” His thumb caresses my cheek. “No one has ever come close to comparing to you.”
I think about all the times he mentioned his crush or I mentioned it, how he must have felt, knowing that it was me the entire time and he couldn’t do anything about that.
I can’t imagine the agony he went through.
It explains why he looked so desolate when I walked away from him, saying I wouldn’t choose him.
God, I hate myself for that. I never want to put that look on his face again.
“Why did you wait so long to say something?” I ask.
“You weren’t ready,” he says. “You didn’t see me as the man I am. You saw me as Gabby’s little brother. It wasn’t until you moved here that I saw a chance to change that.”
I slide my hand over his thick pec and marvel in how much he has changed. “You are quite different. And you’re right, I never saw you in that light until I moved here. I was kind of caught off guard, honestly.”
“Caught off guard by what?”