CHAPTER 34 BENNETT
BENNETT
She’s beautiful.
Stunning.
Fucking steals my breath every time she smiles at me.
And she’s all mine.
I know it’s real, I understand that, but fuck, it doesn’t feel like it. It feels like I’m dreaming, like I’m about to wake up and Nolan is going to slap me across the face, telling me to get my ass in the dugout.
And yet, there she is, sitting at my dining room table, eating a raspberry Danish, wearing my T-shirt and looking thoroughly fucked, gazing at me with heart eyes.
Actual heart eyes.
And I know I’m looking at her the same way, especially after last night.
We didn’t get much sleep. The moment one of us woke up, or stirred, we were on top of each other.
I’ve never been inside someone so much in my life, and yet, I couldn’t get enough.
If I didn’t just bend her over the couch and fuck her until she screamed my name, I’d clear the table and take her here now, but I know I have to give her time to rest. Plus, she has work—even though she told Adalade that she’d be late today.
“You’re staring,” she says, her cheeks pinkening.
“Yeah, because I can stare now and not have you question me. Before, I was stealing glances; now I can look all I fucking want.”
Her head tilts to the side. “You really felt that strongly about me?”
“Bower, you have no fucking clue.” I chuckle. “Infatuated doesn’t even begin to describe it, but out of fear that I might scare you away, I think I’ll keep the obsession to myself.”
“Obsession?” She sets her pastry down and leans her forearms on the table. “Ooo, I’m intrigued, tell me more. Did you have a shrine? Keep my hair in a box? Collect my trash and sniff it before you went to bed?”
Deadpanning, I say, “I stopped the trash thing when I hit twenty.”
“Stop.” She laughs, making me chuckle as well.
“Nah, I just…I don’t know, I stole glances, I keep our pictures we’ve taken together in my favorites folder on my phone—”
“You do? Let me see.”
“Are you going to make fun of me?”
“No, I’m sure it’s going to make me fall for you even more.”
“In that case…” I scoot my chair out from the table and pat my lap.
She comes over to me, where she sits and then kisses my cheek, wrapping her arm around my neck.
In fucking heaven, I pull up my favorites album in my phone and show her all the pictures I have saved in there.
It’s not many, but it’s kept me satiated.
“Oh, I remember the welcome home event in Almond Bay. You so did not want to be there.”
“Yeah, I don’t love events that are solely focused on me. Not a fan.”
“I could tell that day you were so not into it. But that was one of the first times I was caught off guard by how much you changed.”
“Yeah?” My hand falls to her thigh. “You noticed my muscles?”
“Just a little,” she says. “And then there was this picture that Gabby sent me, after visiting you, and I was shocked. You just changed so much. You weren’t the boy I first met.”
“So the truth comes out. You were obsessing too.”
She scoffs. “I wouldn’t say obsessing, but I would say I noticed things.”
“Pervert.”
“What?” she says in protest, making me laugh. “You’re the one with pictures of me in your phone.”
“You were the one lusting after a twenty-year-old.”
“Bennett,” she says, almost insulted as she starts to pull away. That makes me laugh some more. I hold her tight, not letting her get away.
“I’m kidding, babe.”
“I think it would benefit you greatly if you don’t mention the age difference. I’m already feeling like I’m a grandma here.”
I set my phone down and kiss her neck, letting my hand wander up her shirt. “There is nothing grandma about you, beautiful.”
She turns toward me, straddling my lap. “Better not be.” Her arms rest on my shoulders as she asks, “Did I see that I’m your wallpaper on your phone?”
“You did. Manifesting.”
She chuckles. “You really do like me, don’t you?”
“If I have to tell you, then I clearly did not do a good enough job worshipping you last night.”
“Oh, you did. You did such an excellent job.”
My hands slide under her shirt and up her back. “I do have something I want to talk to you about, and I know if I don’t mention it, it will eat away at me, and I want to be as transparent and honest with you as possible.”
“I’d appreciate that.”
“Okay, and this might be the jealous asshole coming out of me, but it’s driving me nuts that Cougar helped you with your book truck.”
Her expression frowns. “How do you know about that?”
“Gabby told me. She called me and raved about Cougar and how great he is and how he’s been helping you.
It fucking ate at me.” I rub her sides, not wanting to sound like a jealous fool, but knowing that’s how this will come off.
“Why didn’t you come to me? Gretchen has been asking about everything, and well, I feel like I could have been helpful. ”
Her fingers play with my hair, sending goose bumps over my arms. “It was nothing against you, Bennett. It was me trying to fixate on something, anything that wasn’t you.
Although, it made me think of you all the time.
I was trying to put distance between my thoughts about you and just trying to focus on something, anything besides the feeling of letting my friend down because I was falling for her brother. ”
“But why ask him?”
“I didn’t seek out his help,” she says. “Not sure if that makes you feel better, but I was at the coffee house, just trying to get some work done, and he happened to run into me. A few times, and well, he’s nosey and asked what I was doing, so I showed him.
I will admit, he gave me some good advice.
” That makes me go still, anger pulsing through me, and she must feel it because she tries to soothe me by rubbing her thumbs over the back of my neck.
“It was nothing too big, though, and if I wasn’t trying to compartmentalize, then I would have asked you. ”
“You should have,” I say, irritated by the conversation. I knew I would be. I’ve been so irritated by anything Cougar has had a part of in her life. If anyone should be helping her with the book truck, it’s me.
“Bennett, don’t get angry.”
“I am. He’s an idiot. He shouldn’t be having a hand in your dreams.”
“You’re the one who set me up with him,” she says, pulling away slightly.
“Yeah, because I wanted to set you up with an idiot to make me look better.”
She blinks and then gets off my lap. “Are you serious right now?”
Shit, probably shouldn’t have said that.
I reach for her hand, but she backs away, so I stand, not wanting her to take off. “Bower, it was self-preservation. I was desperate to get you to notice me—”
“So your plan was to set me up with someone who could have possibly hurt me?”
“No.” I push my hand through my hair. “The intention was to make him seem like a douchebag so when you hung out with me, you saw me for who I am.”
“And who is that?” She crosses her arms over her chest. “A conniving little punk?”
“No,” I say, panic starting to surge through me. “I wanted you to see me for the man I am, not the boy I once was.”
“Well, that was a very boyish thing to do, Bennett.”
“I was desperate. What did you want from me? You were hanging all over me, asking me to set you up with someone.”
“Yeah, and you could have asked me out instead.”
I sarcastically laugh. “Please, Bower. If I asked you out when you were looking for me to set you up, there is no way you would have said yes. You would have booked it out of here so fucking fast. Don’t act like you would have treated the situation any differently.”
“What, so this entire thing was some sort of slow, drawn-out plan to get me into your bed?”
“No,” I say, not quite understanding how we got here when moments ago she was on my lap.
“You’re unbelievable, Bennett.” She shakes her head and moves toward the entryway of my apartment.
I chase after her, not wanting her to leave like this.
I step in front of her, blocking the door.
“It was not some plan to get you into my bed. It was to get you to fucking notice me, Bower. I had no goddamn chance at getting you to even look at me other than as a friend without a plan. If I came up to you and told you how I felt when you first moved here, you would have gone running. I had to take my time. I had to slowly help you realize that I’m the guy you deserve, and if I had to use someone else to do that, then I don’t fucking care, because it means that I was able to bring you closer.
I don’t understand why that makes you so upset.
I did what any hero in your romance books would have done, or any other man with a massive crush would have done. ”
She crosses her arms over her chest but doesn’t respond, making me believe that I might be able to put out this fire.
Calmly, I walk up to her and place my hands on her hips.
“I like you so fucking much, Bower. And I’m sorry I set you up with Cougar, sorry for more reasons than you could probably think.
And if it’s any consolation, the entire plan blew up in my face as I had to witness you going out with him, see pictures of you two together with dating rumors swirling around. It was fucking torture.”
She looks away and says, “Well, you deserved it for doing something like that.”
“And I took my punishment,” I say, moving in closer and sliding my hands up her sides. “It just about killed me seeing you two together.”
“I’m glad,” she says, like a brat, but I fucking like it.
“Hey.” Her eyes meet mine. “I’m sorry, Bower.”
And just like that, her anger disappears as she pretends to maintain the same disposition. “Well, how do you suppose you make it up to me?”
“I have some thoughts.” I grip her shirt and tug on it, pulling it up and over her head, leaving her naked in front of me.
“It better involve your face between my legs.”
“Trust me, it does.” I lift her up and carry her to the couch, where I lay her down, prop one leg up on the back and spread the other wide so it’s hanging off the side. I look her in the eyes and say, “Really sorry, babe.”
“Mm-hmm, show me.”