Chapter 9
FRANKIE
I see Marcus doing a great big swallow, his Adam’s apple moving up and down (actually quite sexily if I’m honest), and leap in, in case he says something stupid. I totally, totally get that he almost certainly wants to bail right now, but he can’t.
‘We met… in the cutest way.’ I’m buying time to think of how we might have got together; I am unfortunately having a bit of a mind blank.
My extremely tight head and still mildly churning stomach following last night are really not helping me think clearly.
Also, I’m very tired. On top of the drinking, my sleep was punctuated by easy-to-interpret dreams relating to Rick, redundancy and Marcus, and I can barely perform basic functions like counting to ten, let alone come up with plausible lies about when I fake-met my fake boyfriend.
Gran is sitting in her chair, looking at me expectantly. Marcus has one eyebrow raised, also seeming very interested in what I’m about to say.
‘Yes,’ I continue. Erm. Think, think, think. ‘Well. I’m hesitating because it’s a little embarrassing.’
‘I’m your grandmother. Nothing you can say would be embarrassing in front of me.’
Well, that isn’t true. I’m pretty sure it would be highly embarrassing to admit right now that this whole thing is fake.
‘Very true,’ I say. I look at Marcus, whose eyebrows have risen further up his head, and who looks as though he might be about to laugh.
I consider asking him if he’d like to tell our story, before realising that, no, I know very little about him and under pressure he might be a very loose, truth-admitting cannon.
Plus, this whole thing is my fault so he shouldn’t have to answer tricky questions.
Okay. I’m just going to say anything, and hopefully the story will build as I speak.
‘We actually met down here in Milbury,’ I say.
Thank goodness Gran’s recently been staying quite a lot with her sister, Marguerite, who lives in Somerset, after Marguerite had a hip replacement a couple of months ago.
Otherwise she’d know this was all complete nonsense.
‘While you were away. I’d popped down to see Ellie. ’
‘That’s right,’ Marcus kindly confirms.
‘Yes, so basically Rick and I realised that we weren’t particularly compatible.
You know, all he wants to do is play golf, and I don’t.
’ I suddenly worry that Marcus might be famously keen on golf, because I actually know nothing at all about him.
‘Although I think that was just a symptom. It was really him. And me. Both of us. Not compatible. Anyway, then, I met Marcus. I was out for a walk and so was he. We literally bumped into each other, coming round the corner of the pub…’ Honestly, I don’t know where I’m going with this at all.
Oops, I said it was embarrassing. ‘And I fell over in some mud, and we both laughed about it, and then…’
‘And then there was just an amazing spark between us.’ Marcus has rescued me quite spectacularly, because not only has he kindly finished my sentence, he has done it in the most soulful voice imaginable. It’s so soulful I’m almost vomiting inside my mouth. Although…
I take a look at him, thinking about him as others – like Gran – might see him. He is, objectively, gorgeous. If I were someone who ever wanted to have a relationship with a man again (I am not) it would be quite easy to imagine having a spark with him.
Marcus seems to have subsided after his moment of genius help.
‘That’s right,’ I continue. ‘And so we…’ I nearly said we went to the pub for a drink, but I can’t say that, the village grapevine being what it is. ‘We went for a walk. Just the two of us. And the spark just grew and grew, really fast. And here we are now.’
‘Still sparking,’ Marcus says.
‘Indeed.’ I try to send him a surreptitious frown. I don’t think we need to talk about sparks any more. Enough is enough.
‘That’s lovely,’ Gran says. ‘The sparks are very noticeable.’
I nod and try not to roll my eyes. To my right, Marcus is also nodding.
I think Gran’s waiting for me to continue, but I have no more, and Marcus isn’t offering anything either, and the silence is growing a bit too long, when – thank goodness – the others come back into the room bearing tea.
‘Marcus and Frankie have just been telling me about the spark between them when they met,’ says Gran.
‘It’s so lovely to see them together. I’m going to be honest. I could never understand why you and Rick were a couple, Frankie.
I’m so glad you’ve met someone who is evidently so much more right for you.
’ She addresses Marcus. ‘Have you told your grandfather about your new relationship yet?’
Marcus chokes on the biscuit he’s just bitten into.
We all leap to pat him on the back but he waves us all away.
‘All good,’ he says, still coughing slightly. ‘No, not yet. But I will. Absolutely. I can’t wait.’ Then he picks up his teacup and takes a very long, slow sip.
I’m going to have to buy him more than just a bottle of wine for this.
‘It’s perfect timing to have you all here,’ Gran says. ‘I wanted to talk to the two of you, Ellie and Frankie, about my birthday party. And now Marcus can help you with it.’
‘I’d love to,’ Marcus says with a completely straight face.
I’m beginning to wonder how I could possibly have disliked him in the café. He’s being an actual angel this afternoon.
‘Thank you,’ I say.
‘It’s wonderful seeing the two of you together,’ Gran says with a beam. ‘You make the perfect couple.’
Marcus murmurs something indistinguishable.
I say nothing.
‘Rose.’ Marcus has risen to his feet. ‘It’s been so lovely to meet you properly but I’m afraid I’m going to have to take Ruby and Sam home now, to finish their homework.
It was Ruby’s birthday last weekend, and the celebrations seem to have spanned a full week and spilled into this weekend, so they have a backlog.
’ He takes Gran’s hand in a very gallant manner and deposits a kiss on it, which makes her blush and actually simper.
Then he turns to me, and I say hurriedly, ‘I’ll see you to the door,’ so that he doesn’t have to drop any kisses anywhere near me.
And then I stand up, and Marcus, his kids and I all exit the room. I pull the door closed behind us so Gran won’t be able to hear the sounds of us not kissing, and then walk them to the front door.
‘Would you like me to do some fake kissing sounds for you?’ whispers Ruby, giggling.
‘That’s a very kind offer,’ I tell her, ‘but Gran won’t be able to hear through the closed door.’ And then I turn to Marcus. ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you, I owe you so hugely,’ I say, before basically shoving the three of them outside.
I do not want to go back in and see Gran and be grilled further on my ‘relationship’.
She had a lot of questions before, over lunch, which Ellie very kindly helped me bat away with innocuous nothings, and now she’s seen Marcus and me together she’s only going to have more to say.
I do love her very much, though, and it will be very good to be able to spend more time with her.
I’m so annoyed with myself for having been stupid enough to make up this ridiculous story.
Okay. I’m doing it. I’m going back in.
‘Marcus is such a delight.’ Gran gets going almost before I’m fully inside the room. ‘You two are so lovely together.’
‘Thank you.’ I feel like such a villain. Lying is awful.
I should have owned up first thing this morning. Now, though… Now I really can’t.
‘It will be so nice to see the two of you together at my party,’ Gran continues. ‘It’s perfect timing that you’re going to be in Milbury for a while. It will be so much easier for us all to plan the party together. Marcus too.’
‘Marcus too,’ I echo miserably.
‘Let’s start with the theme,’ Gran commands. ‘Do we think Halloween, or Bonfire Night, or a mix of the two?’
Her birthday is the second of November, and she loves a party, so we’ve done a lot of both over the years.
Gran doesn’t give Ellie or me time to formulate an opinion; she immediately continues with: ‘I think a mix would be perfect. Everyone must come dressed for Halloween but we’ll have fireworks.
And for the food we can have both Halloween and Bonfire Night themes, so that we won’t run out of ideas. I already have the church hall booked.’
We spend the next hour talking everything Halloween–Bonfire Night mashup party, and I do have to say that while I’m still – even this late in the afternoon – hungover, and my brain isn’t working quite as usual, party planning is very good for taking my mind off my longer-term no-home-no-job situation and my very short-term fake Marcus issue, and I’m actually feeling quite cheery when we say goodbye to Gran just before six, to go back to Ellie’s for an early supper given that it’s a school night for her and Jack.
When Ellie says that, I have to push away the thought that while it might be a school night for them, I have absolutely nothing on tomorrow, or the next day.
Or the next. For basically ever. I needed to lie low last week, doing not much, just wallowing, but I feel like I should actually get on with life now.
I’m just not quite sure how, as in what am I going to do?
* * *
I make myself get up at seven thirty the next morning, to say goodbye to the others when they leave for school, because lying in bed is not going to solve my problems, and I don’t want to descend into an unhealthy way of life.
What am I going to do, though?
Okay. I’m going to get fit. I haven’t been doing enough – any – exercise recently because I’ve been working such long hours.
Half an hour later, I’m back from a run, lungs on fire and feeling as though I’m about to vomit but knowing that I’ll feel a lot better from the exercise (once I’ve recovered). It’s still barely later than 8 a.m. though. There’s so much of the day left.
Okay. It’s okay. It will be fine.
I take a long shower.
I paint my nails.
I sit down at my laptop and try to think hard about alternative careers.
I do a bit of party planning.