10. Mackenzie #2
I lower my voice because I’m pretty excited about what I’m going to share and I don’t want the world to know yet.
“Our winemaker was blending some rosés from last year’s harvest and he came up with a sweeter variant, a much sweeter wine than we usually market.
The balance of grapes meant it had to be slightly more expensive, too, but it is lovely.
Uncle Franz was hesitant, but because I’ve done those tastings, I’m confident it will find a following.
We’re launching it next week with a little fanfare of publicity and Merrie is going to host a party for us, too, with food to match with it.
” I take a breath. “She’s agreed to include it at her first chef’s table event.
I’m hoping some of her foodie fans will come for that and help to spread the word. ”
“And that they’ll love it.”
“Oh, I think they will. It’s a really great summer wine.”
“So, the advantage of working at a smaller firm and having more flexibility will yield financial benefits for the firm,” Jake concludes.
“And your wider ranging responsibilities mean you have more of a bird’s eye view over the whole business, which means you can make better decisions.
” I nod and he lifts his glass. “That’s brilliant, Mackenzie. Kudos to you.”
I’m flushed and pleased by his reaction. It makes me realize how few people there are in my life who would understand why I love what I do.
“But you would rather play on a big field,” I say.
“There’s more opportunity for advancement, although I hear you about the benefits of a broader perspective. It’s true that you do end up in a niche in a larger firm, but fortunately, mine is in the area I like best.”
“Numbers?”
“Lining them up and making their totals get bigger. Highly satisfying.”
“You don’t miss the people?”
“I get lots of time with people. I have clients and coworkers.”
“But you’re not looking for a romantic relationship?” I shrug when he looks up. “Just an idle question, not an ambition. I have enough to do without training a life partner and putting up with his junk.”
“Exactly!” Jake says with a grin. Then he sobers. “Actually, it’s a simple problem. I like smart women. I like women with careers and objectives and big plans. I don’t want to talk about the weather.” He gestures. “I like conversations like this one.”
“Me, too.”
“But the problem is that if you build a permanent relationship on that ground, someone has to pay the price.”
“How so?” I think I know exactly what he means, but I might be making assumptions. It would be wild if we agreed about this.
“I work with a lot of brilliant people, male and female. And I can’t help but notice that, among those who have partners, the male usually is the winner. He gets to give his all at work and focus on his career.”
I nod, because this is exactly my concern. In a way, I’m impressed that Jake has even noticed. Most men don’t.
“For example, I work with a woman who is every bit as good at what she does as I am, but she’s married and has three kids.
” Jake lifts a hand. “I have no idea how she juggles it all, but sometimes she’s out of the office because one of her kids is sick or has to leave early for one of their appointments.
Her husband has a good job, too, but she has a great job – and the social expectation is that she has to be the one to make the sacrifices for being a parent.
It’s not fair and I never want to be with anyone who has to compromise their own ambitions for the sake of mine. ”
“Do you think society expects that or she does?”
“Both, probably.” He eyes me. “You would likely know better than me.”
“It’s both, I think, but maybe not in the way you mean.
I think women are often trained to put themselves last, or to see to the welfare of others first, and we learn it so early that we don’t even think about it.
So, it’s social expectations, but also the groundwork that we’ve been taught because of social expectations.
We do it to ourselves, without questioning why. ”
“That makes sense. And that does have tangible results.”
“Like?”
“There’s a big promotion in the wind and we’re both being considered for it. I’ll bet you that I get it, not because I’m better, but because I don’t have other obligations. If Nadine was single, she’d probably kick my butt out of contention.”
“Does that bother you?”
He meets my gaze. “I don’t like injustice, but I didn’t shape expectations either. I didn’t make her choice to marry and have those three kids.”
“Do you want the promotion?”
“Corner office, juicy pay raise? Sure, I want it. Everyone wants that. Everyone wants to win. I wish Nadine well, along with all the other contenders. May the most qualified individual triumph.”
I feel mixy-mixy about this. I like that Jake is aware of the issue.
I don’t love that he’s not doing anything to resolve the injustice to this co-worker – but on the other hand, why would he?
Of course, he wants the job. And he’s right - she did decide to get married and have kids.
If she wanted to focus solely on her career, she could have done as Jake is doing, and resolved to stay single.
She could have made the same choice I’ve made.
For the first time, though, I wonder about that. Why is it that a man doesn’t have to choose? Why can men have it all?
“What are you thinking?” he asks.
“That if you were married and had three kids, it wouldn’t be a variable.”
“No, it wouldn’t. But I wouldn’t be taking days off when any of them were sick either.
” He raises a hand. “And while I can’t fix the shape of the world, I can decide against seeking a permanent partner.
The thing is that if I was ever crazy in love with a woman, the last thing I’d want to do is compromise her career.
I’d want her to have every one of her ambitions.
I’d want to help her reach the highest star. ”
“But that would mean that you’d be the wife.”
“Maybe.” He grins. “Better to just forgo the whole thing, to my thinking.”
“Yes,” I agree and he studies me, a little surprised.
“Lots of babies in the world already,” he says.
“But there’s more than babies to marriage.”
“True,” Jake cedes. “Tell you what. If you get lonely and want to talk, give me a call, even about how it sometimes bites to be single.”
It is a surprisingly enticing offer, but I tease him instead of responding seriously. “Right. You’ll just fall asleep on me.”
He laughs, surprised into it. “I promise not to do that again.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“And there’s a perfect segue,” he says as the bill is brought to the table. “Thank you, Ms. Rhodes, for such an informative day and a wonderful meal. It’s always so satisfying to end the day with agreement.”
“It is, Mr. Wickham. May I give you a ride back to your hotel?”
“That would be great. Thank you.” He pauses to compliment the hostess and speaks briefly to the chef, then steps outside and opens the umbrella with perfect timing. We’re halfway to the car when he speaks. “I may have fallen asleep twice, but you’ve left twice while I was sleeping.”
“Did you expect me to stay and watch you sleep?”
“No, but I’d like to wake up together once.”
So would I.
“There’s incentive for you,” I say. “If you fall asleep tonight, you’ll have to figure out how to get back to your car in Empire without me.”
“I don’t need incentive to stay awake tonight.”
“Promises, promises,” I tease and he grins as I start the engine.
We ride to the condo in silence, electricity crackling between us.
The rain has slowed to a drizzle, and when I pull in the driveway, Jake immediately gets out of the car.
He’s opening my door and offering his hand in record time, his eyes dark with anticipation.
We walk to the door together, holding hands.
He taps in the code with precision and we step inside as soon as the door opens.
The condo is dark and shadowy, the temperature cool.
Jake locks the door and touches the light switch that puts on dim lighting throughout the entire unit.
“Just a note to the landlady, it should do music, too,” he notes with a smile, but I don’t care about details. I frame his face in my hands and back him into the wall, claiming the kiss I’ve been dreaming about for weeks.
This time, I’m not going to stop.
Jake makes a little growl of satisfaction and angles his mouth over mine, deepening the kiss even as his hands lock around my waist. His lips are firm and demanding, his enthusiasm clear when I lean against him fully.
He’s so hard. I’m the one to use my tongue first and I love how he catches his breath.
Yes, he liked that before. I open my mouth and demand more, loving how he grips my waist and lifts me to my toes.
I kick off my shoes and run my toe up his leg, he breaks our kiss and kicks off his own shoes.
I’m tossed over his shoulder before I realize what he’s going to do, and I laugh out loud when he takes the stairs two at a time.
I’m not a delicate little flower. Men don’t pick me up and carry me around much, but Jake is barely winded when we reach the bedroom.
He drops me on the bed and follows me down, his weight pinning me to the mattress as his mouth closes over mine once more.
He kisses me until I’m dizzy, but I want more.
I roll him to his back and straddle him, gripping his head with both hands as I feast upon his mouth, taking all I want and a little extra. He’s so hard and I rub against him, rocking on top of him as he groans with pleasure.
“Too many clothes,” he mutters when I lift my head and I smile down at him. His eyes are glinting and his smile is wicked.
“That was my line.”
He reaches for the front of my jacket. “Need some help?”