Chapter 27
Cassie
Is he lying to me?
It takes me a minute, but I can see he is telling the truth.
"Try to explain it to me because honestly, Lincoln, if I had been in the same position, I would've been honest with you." I almost cringe at my words. I don’t know what I would have done in the same position. Hopefully, truth would have been my choice.
"I know you would've been honest with me. I wish I were like you, Cassie. You’re one of the strongest, bravest, and honest people I know." He shakes his head, his gaze filling with regret. “If there was a way to go back in time…”
“There isn’t, Lincoln.” His words touch me, filling my heart with a longing ache. “Try to explain it to me because the next time something like this happens, I want you to come to us to tell us. I want to be there for you.”
He takes a deep breath. "I know you and Quinn looked me up and found some bad things out about my past, but the truth is that when I was younger, I went through a lot of really difficult stuff." He pauses.
"You mean before you met my dad?" I remember the way he looked when my dad brought him home. Even though I hardly spoke to him for the first several months he hung around, I could tell something was wrong. I just assumed a bad past or a difficulty he went through that affected him.
Now that I know what I know about his rap sheet, I have a better picture of where he came from. I’m not sure I even want to know all the details of those times, but I’m sure they’re heartbreaking.
"My childhood wasn't pretty. In fact, it was completely the opposite, and one of the first lessons I learned in life was never to trust anybody. Not my parents, not my friends, not the cops, no one. Your dad was different. He helped me learn I could trust people again and that I should trust people, but I didn't always make it easy. Sometimes I still struggle with it.” He shoves a hand through his hair, a frustrated look pulling at his features.
"And when he got sick, it was harder to pay for the medication and treatments than I thought it would be. I wanted to make some extra cash.”
My breath hitches.“So, you got involved with Phineas to pay for my dad's treatments?"
He sighs, his fingers tapping nervously against the countertop. Tap, tap, tap. He’s nervous.
"I like to tell myself that, but the truth is, I use that as an excuse. Maybe it was always in me a little bit, you know? The bad habits and explaining things away, giving myself the freedom to do things I knew weren't morally right." He shakes his head. Shame weighs on his shoulders, his head bowed.
My thoughts and emotions are at war with themselves. He doesn’t deserve my anger or blame, but how can I just let everything go?
"I did what I did, and I regret it to this day. What’s worse is that when Phineas came calling and threatened to expose my past, I hated the idea of you or Quinn seeing that side of me. I felt like I would lose you both completely if you knew the truth, so I tried to hide it."
It would have been a tough conversation, but he could never lose us, not with some mistakes from his past. It makes my heart hurt to think he believed that he would.
"And that's why you worked with Phineas?" I wish I could do something to comfort him. He reminds me of the sweet, lovable guy my dad got along with so well. The same guy I had a massive crush on for years. He changed my family for the better. I want him to see that version of himself, too.
He pauses."If I'm honest, part of me did not want to lose you and Quinn but also did not want you to see the real me. I thought if you saw what I'd been involved in in the past, you'd see me differently."
He lets out a shuddering sigh, and I step closer, unable to take the distance any longer.
Finally, he lifts his eyes to mine.
“You know, seeing Lorraine and Phineas together gave me some perspective. You’ve probably just heard about her, but I met her. It had to be too good to be true—a woman falling for Phineas, forgiving his past, giving him a second chance… a clean slate.” He shakes his he ad. “It made me wonder if it was possible for me too if I could just be honest.”
I put my hand on his cheek, brushing my thumb against his rough stubble. "Lincoln, we're your friends. We're here for you. You can share anything with us. We want your honesty, no matter how hard it is to face it."
"I know that I really do. But some things are not easy to share. I didn't want you to get hurt. Phineas can be manipulative, and I had no way of knowing how far he'd go. Of course, I never imagined there was so much tied up in it. All of the things going on with the Thorntons and Anita."
He trails off and lifts his right hand to my cheek, mirroring my stance.
"It's really hard to talk about these things with you distracting me like this," he says in a low husky voice. "I don't know if you or Quinn will ever be able to forgive me for what I did."
"Of course, we'll be able to forgive you. It's going to take time for me not to question if you're hiding something every time we talk about anything, but I know you are trying to do the right thing in yourown way, and that you would never put me or Quinn in real danger."
His eyes brighten with sincerity. "I would never."
"That's good to know."
My heart is beating so fast that I feel like it might jump out of my chest. I’m suddenly short of breath as I stare up into his deep blue eyes. His hand on my cheek fills me with warmth and makes my skin burn, where his thumb caresses the curve of my face.
"Lincoln," I whisper, my voice shaking. The energy between us vibrates as if it might expand and explode at any minute.
"Cassie.” His gaze is so earnest, so intense; it is too much."I can't stop thinking about you, about this, about us."
"I don't..." My eyes drop to his lips, then focus back up to his eyes. "I'm not sure I'm ready to look past everything and just keep going like it never happened."
"I'm not asking you to," he says, his breath brushing against my lips.
He's so close I can't think straight. My head spins. "What are we doing?" I ask softly, not really wanting the answer.
"I'm not so sure myself," he says, his other hand leaving his pocket and coming to frame my waist, pulling me a little closer. "Every single time I close my eyes, I see you. Every single time I think about my future, you're there. What hurts me the most about this whole situation is that I disappointed you. I never want to disappoint you."
He presses his hand against my lower back, bringing me flush against him, erasing any space between us.
"You didn't disappoint me, Lincoln. You worry me. You terrify me. In the best ways, most of all." I can’t tell if my head is spinning because of his proximity or because of a lack of oxygen due to my near hyperventilation.
He lowers his forehead until it's almost against mine. "Cassie." He says my name reverently.
I should stop this and push him away until we’ve sorted out all of the messy feelings between us, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I want this… I want him .
He presses his lips to mine in an explosion of sensations. His lips move softly over mine, exploring, pressing, shifting. I want more. I want him to be closer. I push my hands up around his neck and tangle my fingers in his hair, pulling him against me and exploring his mouth with mine.
We could stay like this forever, and I wouldn’t complain.
And then my thoughts start to whirl. If I were to look past what he did, could we become a couple? Would this be our life? This… It could be addictive.
He pulls back, and reality crashes into what was a fairy tale just a second before. I stumble backward, pushing my hands against his chest, eager to put space between us.
"I'm so sorry. We can't do this. I can't do this," I correct myself.
"You’re right." He’s as breathless as I am, his face flushed and eyes glassy. "But it just feels so right. I know we said we'd be just partners, but sometimes I wonder if maybe there's more."
I nod because I've been feeling the same for a while now. I just didn't know how to put it into words, much less how to talk to him about it.
"Even if we could be more, we can't start it this way," I say carefully, thinking about each of my words.
"You're right.” He runs a hand over his face. “Of course, it’s not… the right time. I don’t know what I was thinking. Forget that just happened.”
Clearly, I can’t do that. My whole body is still reeling from being so close to him, from that intoxicating kiss, his touch…
“I’m not saying I don’t want more,” I whisper, “because I do want more, so much more. ”
Link
Did I just hear her wrong? Or did she say she wanted more with me?
“You want us to be more?”
“Maybe.” Her lips are still swollen from our kiss, and her cheeks are bright red. “It’s complicated. All I know right now is that a lot of work needs to be done between us, in our team, and for the PI office. It’s just… you lied, you almost got us killed when Preston and Phineas were after Nathan, and you let Phineas go free despite your intentions. I can’t pretend none of that happened.”
“I’m not asking you to.” I step closer, not liking how much distance she’s put between us again. “Can we start somewhere, though? Somewhere more than partners?”
“Something more than partners?” She raises her eyebrows, pressing one of her hands against her lips as if she’s trying to keep the feeling of our kiss there, and it makes my heart jump a bit. “I don’t know. What do you have in mind?” She watches me curiously, expectantly.
“Friends? Maybe we could start there and see where it takes us.” Peace settles in my heart. That sounds about right. Friends can turn into something more, something stronger. Friends trust one another and don’t keep secrets.
“All right then, friends.” She laughs a delicate, sweet sound. “Just friends.”
“Yes. Just friends.” I hold my hands up in defense, promising the innocence of it, though there's nothing innocent about how much I want to kiss her again.
“I’d like that.” She smiles, her eyes lighting up. She glances at the mess around the kitchen. “Well, Mr. Friend. We have a big mess to clean up, and I remember you promising to help.”
“I'm a man of my word.” I smile at the irony as I make my way to the sink. The water’s lukewarm instead of hot, but I don’t mind. It was worth it.
I’m not the most orderly person, but I immediately know something’s off when I step back into my apartment. I spot the difference half a second later in the form of a big yellow manila envelope on my floor, just past the door.
After helping Cassie clean up the kitchen to perfection, she went to take a nap, and I excused myself back home.
The warm, jittery feelings I had after leaving the house are sapped away by the sense of caution at the envelope sitting there like a bad omen.
I make my way over to it and scoop it up. It’s light, maybe only a piece of paper inside. I somehow know opening it is a bad idea, a terrible idea, yet I’m already ripping open the seal and pulling out a folded piece of paper.
Lincoln,
If you’re reading this, it means something happened that I hoped never would. What I’m about to tell you can never be shared with anyone else, especially not Cassie.
Yes, this is from Robbie, and no, I’m not alive. I had plenty of time wasting away in my bed to set this up before I died. I knew this part of my past might come back to haunt Cassie, so I thought a safeguard should be put in place, in the form of a private eye, with instructions to deliver this envelope to you if my fears came true.
My heart sinks further with every word I read. When I finish, I fold the letter and put it back in the envelope, then put it on the coffee table and stare at it.
What do I do now? If I tell her, I will crush her, break her heart. Would she recover? But if I don’t tell her, I’ll be lying to her again. We can’t come back from that. Not again.
It’s an impossible choice, one I will have to make whether I want to or not.
Cassie
My head has been a jumbled mess since Lincoln kissed me. I’m in bed, reliving the moment repeatedly in my head. He’s there, in the kitchen, so close.
Did I do the right thing, turning him down? It doesn’t feel like it. It feels like we should have been together. Things are wrong now because I said we had to wait.
Friends.
That means something. That can turn into something more. It’s an excellent place to start. We can do this right, build things on trust, on honesty, and maybe even on love. True love.
Now I sound cheesy. I smile, feeling giddy. It’s been a hard couple of weeks. My career might not be completely ruined. The Thorntons made sure I got blacklisted, but now that they’re no longer going to be around, I could go back, pick up where I left off.
Somehow, it doesn’t sound so appealing anymore. Leaving Lincoln behind and Quinn, the work we do… a lo t of people who come to our PI office really need us. They need to count on someone to solve things for them.
In this case, a missing person’s case helped us save a whole town from ruin. They would have been found out eventually, and whoever did find out wouldn’t have necessarily cared about preserving the town.
This feels like the right place for me to be. Here in Pinecrest, solving mysteries with Lincoln and Quinn, and who knows? Maybe even Tommy at some point, though I’m not sure how I feel about that yet.
My phone rings, and I pull it out. Unknown number. Strange.
I press answer. It could be a new client.
“Cassie Love?” The voice is robotic, like the ones on my old TV show where a bad guy uses a voice changer.
Chills run up and down my spine.“Who is this?”
“Who I am is not important. Is this Cassie Love?”
“That depends.” I sit up on my bed, my eyes darting frantically around the room. Should I get Lincoln to help me? I need to calm down. Whoever it is, they can’t do anything to me over the phone. Except scare the living daylights out of me. “Who are you?”
“Someone who wants you to know the truth. Call me a good Samaritan if you need a name.” They pause. “How much do you really know about your past… about your father?”
“I… what are you talking about?” How dare whoever this person is bring up my father?
“I’m talking about secrets, little secrets, littered throughout your life, waiting to jump out at you around every corner.” If they had normal inflections, I would think they were making fun of me.
“What secrets?”
“If you want to know, you’ll meet me at the address I text you. Come alone. Don’t tell anyone about our conversation, or I’ll know. Be there tomorrow at sunset. It will change your life, Miss Love. You don’t want to miss it.”
The phone goes dead, and a second later, I receive a text message. It’s the address to a house two miles out of town. Great, this is exactly how horror movies start.
I stare down at my phone in disbelief. A prank caller, that’s what that was. So why do I feel so unsettled? Did Lincoln lie to me about something else? Or maybe it’s someone else lying now?
I have to know, one way or another.
This time, I’m going to keep the secret because I’m tired of being in the dark, tired of being lied to. If there are more secrets out there, I will uncover them.
THE END