Chapter Two #2
Damn. Blaze could practically see the memories dancing in German’s eyes.
No doubt he hoped Blaze had been too fucked up to recall a single damn thing, but no.
Blaze had been damn near sober. His entire being had been focused on German that night.
He had been desperate for German’s touch.
While he never got that wish, the entire experience had been every bit as hot as if they had fucked.
The way German had looked at him had seared into him.
Blaze hadn’t stopped thinking about him or that night.
German had done something to him beyond the sexual.
Something Blaze couldn’t explain, no matter how hard he tried.
It was kind of like Diesel had said. No one in Blaze’s life cared about him at all.
That night, they had connected, and it had been very real.
German hadn’t once been fake with him. Blaze had never wanted to be in someone’s company so badly in his life.
But he didn’t know where to go from here, and he had a bad feeling German didn’t either.
“Have you eaten anything today? I know everyone I’ve ever worked for doesn’t get even five minutes to take a piss, much less eat on performance days.”
That was another damn thing. He cared. Genuinely. It wasn’t a show. Blaze would know. He had seen every game ever played. “It’s no big deal. I’m used to going without.”
German snorted and stood. His thin pajama pants didn’t hide his erection, and German showed zero shame. God, his chest hurt. He hadn’t known longing like this before. The thing was, though. He just wanted to be here. If they never touched, Blaze’s life was better for having German in it.
He stood and followed German into the kitchen. “How often do you stay here? You seem more comfortable than just a visitor.”
One of German’s sexy shoulders lifted. “I’m a bit of a nomad, I guess.
Since I don’t have a place of my own and Valon is amazing, he lets me crash here when I’m between assignments.
” He opened the refrigerator. The muscles in his back flexed.
Blaze’s knees weakened. “Do you have anything against a ham sandwich? I didn’t really buy much since I doubt I’ll be here long. ”
“That’s fine. I’m not picky.”
German went to work while Blaze watched.
The light caught the hint of silver threaded through the dark hair covering German’s jaw.
It didn’t look like he tried to grow a beard or anything.
It was more like he hadn’t shaved in a few days.
That smattering of gray had Blaze’s curiosity piqued. There wasn’t as much in his messy hair.
“How old are you?”
German flashed him a laughing smile. “Much older than you.”
Blaze wasn’t having that shit. “I get the feeling you have no idea how old I am.”
German didn’t look up from his task. “How old is Valon? Twenty-three? Twenty-four? So my guess is right in there somewhere.”
“Valon is twenty-seven.”
“Ha. I never would’ve gone that high.”
Blaze smiled. He felt triumphant, and he didn’t know why. “That’s good, I guess. We’re all aging well despite the partying. I’ll be thirty next month. A Fourth of July baby. I’ve never gotten a birthday celebration I didn’t have to split with freedom,” he said, laughing.
German’s chin shot up. “Shut the fuck up. I didn’t want to insult you or anything, but you look eighteen.”
Blaze couldn’t stop laughing at German’s reaction. “I can show you my license.”
German shook his head and went back to finishing Blaze’s sandwich. “Thirty. Damn.” He pushed the plate Blaze’s way. It was just a sandwich, but it looked pretty damn good. Blaze took a bite. German chose that moment to break. “You know what? Yeah. I want to see that license. I call bullshit.”
Blaze nearly choked on his food from laughing. He twisted, showing German his ass so he could get Blaze’s wallet while Blaze ate.
German didn’t hesitate to grab it.
Blaze was a little disappointed he didn’t try to cop a feel in the process.
He flipped it open. “Well, I’ll be goddamned. You must come from good genes.”
Blaze spoke around his food. “I have money.”
German shook his head. “No amount of money brings back youth, and you have a very youthful look about you.”
Blaze swallowed his bite. “You never told me your age.”
“I’m thirty-eight.”
Blaze rolled his eyes. “That’s not old. You made it sound like you’re old enough to be my fucking grandpa or something. I have two brothers older than you.”
German looked fascinated. “Do you have a big family?”
Blaze nodded as he polished off his sandwich. He didn’t try to talk again until he washed it down with the rest of his champagne. “Two older brothers, one older sister, and two younger sisters. What about you?”
German made a dismissive motion like brushing away the topic, as if he wasn’t that interesting. “There’s just me. No family. How often do you get to see them?”
“All the time. My mom would murder me if I didn’t call every day. Why is it just you?”
“I’m gay. What do your parents do?”
As much as Blaze loved how genuinely interested German seemed to be about his life, he hated the way German acted like Blaze didn’t want to know him. “Why do you do that?”
German blinked. “Do what?”
“Dismiss my questions like you’re not important.”
German stared at him like he had grown two more heads. “I don’t. I answered.”
Blaze shook his head. German was truly one of a kind. The guy honestly didn’t realize it looked like he was dodging. Blaze moved back to the couch and sat. He patted the spot beside him. “Come here and tell me one thing about yourself without me having to ask.”
Despite his heavy eye roll, German did as told. He sat. “I’m originally from Alabama. How about you?”
“Maine.”
“Goddamn. Your parents were sending you to music camp in L.A. with five other kids to feed. What do they do for a living?”
Fuck, he just made Blaze smile. “My mom is a retired federal judge, and my dad is a fireman. Before you ask, my two older brothers are lawyers. My older sister is a stay-at-home mom. As for my younger sisters, one is in medical school and the other is a drug addict.”
German didn’t even flinch. “It sounds like your family is a lot to live up to. She must be the youngest.”
“Yep. She’s also my favorite sibling. Dara.
It’s not like she woke up one day and decided to pick up an addiction.
She was a gymnast. In fact, she went to the Olympics at fourteen.
That’s where she ended up with a major back injury.
Three surgeries later, she was hooked on pain meds.
No one can say she hasn’t fought hard to get clean, but it has to be hard to go from being the star to the bottom.
I know if I lost everything tomorrow, I don’t know what I’d do.
Music is my whole life; you know what I mean?
I live and breathe this career. So I get her better than most. There’re some things you can’t replace.
A dream is one of those things. Where do you go from there? ”
German held his gaze through every word. He made Blaze feel seen and heard. There was never a second when they were together when Blaze questioned if German feigned interest just to say they were friends.
“I really like you.”
German caught him off guard with the confession. It could have just as easily come from Blaze.
German kept going before Blaze had time to think of a single way to respond.
“When you dragged me in here, the first time we met, I didn’t think you were any different from every famous person I’ve ever dealt with.
You were surrounded by your entourage of flakes and wanted me to get lit with you.
There’s no way I would’ve guessed that I would love your company as much as I do.
You’re pretty great. I hope people tell you that as often as you deserve. ”
Fuck. Blaze was moved and shit. He hadn’t expected all that, and he definitely hadn’t realized how badly he needed to hear exactly the words German chose. He didn’t know how to respond, but he knew he had to say something.
“I’m just the drummer. I’m not the guy with the words, but yeah.
You’re pretty fucking amazing too. When you didn’t show up tonight, it shocked me a little how disappointed I was.
All I knew was that I wanted to be wherever you were.
This has been the best celebration I’ve had in a while.
” It seemed he had more words than he thought.
Unfortunately, his body also chose that moment to go out.
He couldn’t fight back a yawn. “Damn. Sorry. I don’t know where that came from. ”
A sweet smile touched German’s lips. “It’s been a long day for you.” He patted his lap. “Come on. Head here. You need some rest.”
Blaze didn’t hesitate to accept the offer.
Between the hectic day, alcohol, smoke, and food, his ass was officially kicked.
The moment his head hit German’s lap, German ran his fingers through Blaze’s hair.
His eyes automatically closed. Blaze savored every sensation.
He never got actual affection. It was nice. He was asleep in seconds.