Chapter Five #3
Dara grabbed her bag and ran in the same direction Ben had.
German laughed as he watched her go. A plate landed on the table in front of him as Blaze filled the chair Dara had occupied. “You’d make a good dad.”
A bark of unexpected laughter burst from him. “What?”
Blaze wasn’t smiling. He was dead serious. “You’d make a good dad,” he repeated, as if German’s question had been genuine. “You shocked the shit out of everyone when Ben spoke to you.”
German shrugged. The discomfort was back. “Kids like me.”
Blaze shook his head. His serious demeanor didn’t budge. “No. I mean, yeah. They probably do, but Ben is different.”
“There’s nothing wrong with him.” His response came out harsher than intended.
Blaze didn’t seem bothered. “I know, but everyone treats him like my sister was strung out the entirety of her pregnancy and addled his brain. You didn’t.”
German took a breath and forced his shoulders to relax.
Blaze didn’t understand. His reaction had been personal.
“He reminds me of my younger brother. Curtis was the same. Doctors threw around words like ‘severe anxiety’ and ‘autism’ leading to ‘selective mutism’ or some shit like that. He could talk just fine. He just didn’t have anything to say.
” Pain sliced through German. He tried his best not to flinch. “At least not to anyone but me.”
“Do you still see him?”
It was like having his heart ripped out and shoved down his throat.
He couldn’t look at Blaze, so he chose a place in the distance.
German didn’t see anything but the memories.
“No. My dad caught me kissing the guy they thought was my best friend. Everything happened in a fast blur from there. Dad was throwing my clothes out the front door. Curtis had his ears covered. Tears ran down his face, and he kept screaming my name. My mom was yelling Bible verses. Then I was outside begging to come back inside.” A sad smile touched his lips.
His eyes finally managed to find their way back to holding Blaze’s stare.
“It’s still humiliating to think of all the promises I made if they would just let me back inside.
Curtis’ screams could be heard through the door, and I don’t know. I guess I would’ve done anything.”
“How old were you?”
He swallowed past the lump in his throat.
“Sixteen. No matter what I tried, they wouldn’t let me see him again.
I guess they thought I was contagious or something.
” German shrugged, even though there was nothing that could be shrugged off about the matter.
“He died three years later at fifteen. I still don’t even know how.
I tried to go to the funeral. They blocked the door.
” He shrugged again because he couldn’t fucking stop.
German didn’t talk about this for a reason.
“Now I’m fully grown and I can go to his grave any time I damn well please, but what’s the point now?
They had probably poisoned him against me before the end. None of it matters anymore.”
Blaze was leaning back in his chair and visibly hanging on every word. It hit German. He cared. For whatever fucking reason, Blaze genuinely wanted German here. German felt the same way. There was nowhere else he would rather be.
“I want to know everything about you.”
At his out-of-the-blue declaration, Blaze didn’t bat an eye. “Same. You didn’t deserve any of that.”
German blew out a slow breath. “It doesn’t really matter anymore.”
“Yes, it does.” Before German could argue, Blaze pressed on. “If you’d like, you can be part of my family. I mean, they’re really obnoxious and drama-filled, but they seem to love you already.”
German already wanted to slap himself, and he hadn’t even said anything yet. There was no stopping his confessions tonight, it seemed. “That’s nice, but you’re the only one who matters at the end of the day. Can I keep you instead?”
Blaze didn’t flinch or hesitate. “I thought that’s what we were doing here.
I’m sorry I didn’t make that clear. It won’t happen again.
” He swore Blaze somehow held his stare even firmer than before.
“You’re mine. I’m yours. You’re not allowed to touch anyone else.
I kind of thought you got that by me not messing around this past month.
If you have rules, I want to hear them.”
“Can you promise the same? Past month aside. Can you look me in the face right now and say you won’t touch anyone else again?
I’m not dumb, baby. I’ve been on this ride for a long fucking time.
Don’t think I don’t know what kind of temptation there is on the road.
I don’t want you to make me any promises you can’t keep. ”
“I’d never ask you to do something I wouldn’t do in return.
You have no idea how sick I am of that life.
” Blaze’s expression shifted just a hair, but German knew whatever Blaze said next would be the truest words German ever heard.
“I’ve been unhappy for a long time. This is my dream, but I don’t think anyone’s looked at me in years and seen me.
Hell, I’m sitting here on my birthday, and my own damn family seems to think I don’t care that it’s overshadowed by patriotism.
That night in the pool house after Valon’s wedding, you saw me.
I can’t explain it past that, but when I stared into your eyes and you didn’t blink, I knew you saw me. ”
Blaze was right. There was no explanation for what passed between them that night. But German had seen Blaze, and he was drowning.
German leaned Blaze’s way and snagged the back of his neck.
He hauled Blaze in for a kiss. When he pulled away, it was as if they couldn’t look away from each other.
German wasn’t on the fence. He knew exactly what he wanted.
“Yeah. I want that promise.” The hunger in German’s voice couldn’t be missed.
“Done.”
Damn. Just like that, they were an exclusive couple. German already knew—no matter what happened next—he wouldn’t regret Blaze. “Happy birthday, sexy. I didn’t forget. You have a gift in the car.”
A small hand patted his leg. German barely got a chance to lean back before Ben climbed into his lap, holding his iPad.
“Look. I made a new one.” He was all smiles, and German’s heart was full.
As he stared at the submarine Ben had created, German let himself hope for a real future.
His chin lifted and his gaze collided with Blaze’s. Yeah. They were going somewhere.