Chapter Eleven #2
Ben pointed toward a jar of free candy for kids. “There. She wants Uncle Justin’s card.”
German shook his head. He flashed the cashier a smile. “Sorry. I really spaced out there for a moment.”
She nodded as he tapped the card reader with his phone, automatically paying from his checking account.
“I used to do that all the time when my kids were little. It’s lack of sleep.”
German kept smiling. He couldn’t bring himself to tell her Ben wasn’t his kid.
She handed him the receipt. “Have a good day. Maybe try to get a nap.”
“Thanks. I’ll try.” German grabbed the cart and headed for the parking lot. Right inside the door, he ditched the buggy and let Ben help him carry their purchases to the SUV. Both guards had stayed with Blaze, as they should have, but it made carrying everything a pain.
Ben made grunting noises as he hoisted his share and marched through the parking lot at German’s side.
German couldn’t stop smiling. As he strapped Ben into his car seat, German made himself a promise. When this was over, German would make the right choice for Ben.
He felt as if he had been sitting behind the wheel forever, waiting for Blaze by the time Blaze finally climbed into the passenger seat.
“Okay. I’ve sent the gifts home with the security team, so you guys won’t be peeking and ruining my surprises.
It took me so long because I had to stop by and chat with Santa.
” He turned in his seat and focused on Ben.
“I wanted to make sure he knows how good you’ve been and where to find you this year. ”
Ben kicked his feet in his excitement, pushing against the back of German’s seat. “You saw Santa?”
Blaze didn’t hesitate. “Yeah. He’s got a lot of gifts to buy. He’s hitting all the stores.”
“Yay!”
At Ben’s cheer, Blaze’s gaze slid German’s way. Love swelled between them. Blaze was the rightest decision German had ever made in his life. He couldn’t wait to have Blaze alone again. German had some appreciation to show. His patience was low.
They wrapped Ben’s gifts together after letting Ben put the dinosaur on the tree.
Despite asking German not to buy anything, there were already gifts for him and Ben under the tree.
He had no doubt German had done something amazing for him.
Blaze needed German to have the best Christmas ever.
Christmas had always been Blaze’s favorite holiday.
While he could buy himself anything he wanted, it was nice to be surprised by something he didn’t know he needed.
It would be odd not to go to his parents.
Their fake holiday cheer came with spiked eggnog and whiskey pie.
For nostalgia’s sake, he felt a small twinge of guilt.
But then Blaze recalled Ben’s face when Blaze told him about Santa, and he thought back to every family gathering since Ben had been born.
Not once had Ben smiled or joined in. He had sat in the corner alone, hugging whatever item he liked the most at the time.
They were doing what was right. Sometimes, a little pain came with change.
The rest of the family would be fine without them.
Of course, Blaze had sent money to all the kids and conveniently forgot the adults.
An evil smile pulled at his lips every time he thought about it.
He bet they missed this homo now that them checks didn’t come.
“Do we want to wrap the gift from Santa or just put a bow on it? I bought his stocking stuffers already, since he only eats certain things. I’ve been getting small delivery orders and hiding them before Ben could see.”
Blaze watched German juggle wrapping paper and stocking stuffers. “Let’s just put a bow on it. If he gets up in the middle of the night to sneak a peek, then he does.”
A bright smile lit German’s face. “I hope he does. That’s something every kid should have at least one memory of doing.”
“Did you do that when you were little?” Blaze sat on the bed and waited for German’s answer.
“Of course, didn’t you? Curtis used to sneak into my bedroom, and we’d try to stay awake until after we were certain Santa had come. Then we’d try not to giggle as we ninja moved through the house to see what he brought.”
God, Blaze loved German’s smile. “You don’t talk about Curtis as much as you should. It’s okay to keep his memory alive.”
German didn’t look up from putting a bow on the airplane with pedals they had bought Ben. He could sit inside and pedal away, riding his plane trike around the house. Blaze could already picture it.
“It hurts too much to talk about him. Plus, I can’t even begin to describe the rage living inside of me.
It’s not healthy.” He finally looked up, and Blaze couldn’t look away.
German looked uncomfortable—like he had shown a piece of himself he didn’t want anyone to see.
Blaze knew it was the worst timing in the world, but he had already upset German.
“She’s going to want him back, you know?”
A fake smile exploded across German’s face. “As she should. She’s his mother.”
“I’m not as sure.”
German scowled. “About what?”
“I don’t think he should go back.”
German went completely still, as if he feared making a single motion that might give his thoughts away.
Blaze kept going. “I know Dara. She’s my sister and I love her, but this is a battle she’s fought for a long time. It’s a fight she’s lost more times than I can count. I don’t think Ben should go home with her when she leaves rehab.”
German opened his mouth.
Blaze had no idea if he intended to argue, but Blaze shut him down anyway.
“Just hear me out. You’ve only had Ben for going on a month, and he’s like a different kid.
You only saw him a few times before he came here.
There hasn’t been time for you to see what I have.
Every birthday. Every holiday. That’s not the same kid.
What’ll happen to that progress when he goes back? ”
German’s shoulders fell. “I don’t know.”
Blaze didn’t know why he kept pushing. “But you’ve thought about it, haven’t you?”
“It doesn’t matter what I think. The right thing to do is return custody to Dara if she’s clean.”
The image of Ben’s face when Blaze gave him kisses at the store ran through his head.
“Is it? With Dara’s track record, she’ll never live on her own.
He’ll be right back with my mom always taking care of him.
What if she does make it on her own and she ODs again?
Will they find Ben ambling around the house two weeks later, nonverbal and just living with her body?
Fuck.” Blaze ran his hand through his hair.
He heard himself. It was Dara. They had been inseparable as kids.
Blaze had watched her compete, and she had cheered on his every failing garage band.
He loved her. The problem was, she didn’t love herself, and she obviously hadn’t loved Ben enough to break through her addictions.
Blaze couldn’t fix her, but they could save her son.
Still, and once again, he heard himself.
He sounded like a terrible person to his own ears.
“Forget I said anything. Just ignore me. I don’t know what I’m saying.”
He stared at his feet.
German disappeared and reappeared a few times, hauling all the gifts to the family room. Finally, the bed sank at Blaze’s side. German grabbed his hand and squeezed.
He took a deep breath that sounded shaky.
“I’ve had all the same thoughts you’re having.
Every time, I just end up back at the beginning and tell myself I’ll know what to do when we cross that bridge.
I just honest to God don’t know what the right thing is.
She trusted me when I signed that paperwork.
I promised to return custody to her. What kind of person am I if I take a kid away from his mom?
What type of guy returns a kid to a place they know isn’t best for them?
I don’t know the answers.” He heard German swallow.
“I don’t want to fail him the way I did Curtis. ”
That yanked Blaze out of his self-doubt. “You were a kid. What power did you have to change the situation? You were helpless against a set of adults who shut you out. There’s nothing you could’ve done.”
A sad smile touched German’s lips. “I’m feeling that same way now.
Just helpless in the face of so much. But I’m so fucking grateful to have you with me this time.
You’re right. We should get married sooner rather than later.
” He winced. “I think we’ll likely get screwed out of a honeymoon, though.
Ben might not do well traveling or staying with a babysitter.
Plus, who could we leave him with, anyhow?
Your mom lives on the opposite side of the country and can’t be trusted to give him back.
I don’t know, but I can’t marry you fast enough. You just own me.”
Blaze’s chest felt full. He had no idea what it was about German that had taken him from absolutely no strings to begging to be locked down in no time. “Same. I love you.”
Love poured from German’s expression. “I love you too.”
“You didn’t use the card I gave you, did you?”
A bark of laughter burst from German. “No.”
Blaze shook his head. “I’m going to have to punish you for that one.”
German’s voice turned high-pitched and girly. “Oh no. Don’t hurt me. I’ve been such a good boy.”
Blaze pounced, taking German down on the mattress. “Please. Would good boys do this?” Blaze tore open the front of his jeans and led German’s hand to his cock.
German stroked as Blaze took the kiss he wanted. A low moan came from the back of German’s throat. They scrambled to get each other out of their clothes while not giving up their kiss for long.
Blaze rubbed every inch of newly bared skin on German’s sexy body.
“You have no idea how much I’ve ached for you.
I hated every second you weren’t in my bed.
” Logically, he knew they had fucked as soon as they had gotten home and put Ben to sleep last night.
It wasn’t like he hadn’t touched German since he had been home.
Blaze couldn’t get enough. His heart wasn’t assuaged.
“This bed has been empty as fuck without you. I thought I’d lose my mind.”
Blaze got his hole ready for German. “I’m here now. You should definitely pound me into oblivion for leaving you alone.”
Blaze found his face pressed into the mattress.
German’s dick stretched him wide. Blaze muffled his cries with the blankets below him.
He gripped the covers in a death hold as German slammed inside him.
There was no stopping the sounds he made.
German rode his ass at the perfect angle.
Blaze blocked out everything but the dick inside him.
He heard German praising him. Blaze was aware of the way German kissed and licked his neck.
Blaze was too hot. He was too focused on his goal.
One of these days, he really hoped to make slow love to German.
It always seemed like he was too greedy for that.
It looked as if tonight was no different.
The pressure climbed.
German panted behind him. “You’d better hurry, Blaze. I’m about to disappoint you.”
Impossible. “Do it. Pump me full of cum so you can watch me drip later. You can use it as lube for when you make love to me a second time. Mhmm. Damn, German. You’re killing me.
I need… I need….” A roar ripped from Blaze as he saw stars.
He ugly open-mouthed gasped for air as German kept thrusting and dragging out the pulses that had his dick spitting.
German grunted as he came, filling Blaze with pride right along with his cum.
He hoped this turned out to be the longest night of his life.
Blaze knew exactly what he wanted from Santa. He wasn’t finished yet.