38. Sylvia
SYLVIA
T he woman with Mike could be a model. She’s perfect. She’s poised. She looks like twenty million dollars, give or take, and is dining alone with Mike. When I saw his name on the reservation list, I thought he would be bringing one of his friends from Havelock.
Not this gorgeous woman who has eyes only for him.
I, in contrast, am hot and flushed. I check my reflection in the door of the stainless-steel fridge.
In contrast to Ms. Every-Hair-in-Place, I have loose hair that has worked free of my simple updo and curled in the steam.
My lipstick is probably gone and I never have had eye makeup so artfully done.
Instead of a chic suit, I’m wearing a plain white shirt and black pants.
And an apron. What would I give for Daphne Bradshaw’s silk dress and jacket now?
Worse, Mike shaved his beard – for her. He’s wearing a shirt that had to be ironed (and has been). He’s wearing chinos, for godsake.
It’s a date .
Serving their table on their date is my worst nightmare come true.
That I’m the one who pushed him away is icing on the proverbial cake.
“She’s everything I’ll never be,” I mutter to Merrie as she slides a salad of mixed greens and a paté appetizer across the counter.
“Maybe that’s the point,” she whispers.
Maybe I blew it forever.
But I smile as I present their appetizers, grace them with fresh-ground pepper and check that everything is as desired.
“Sylvia,” Mike says before I can spin away. “I know you’re really busy tonight, but I want to introduce you to my friend Elke from Holland.”
I smile at his friend . “Hello.”
“We went to grad school together,” Elke says. She’s even more stunning up close.
“How nice.”
She lifts a blonde brow. “Even nicer, you are Schnapps Sylvia, a woman I have long wished to meet.”
Schnapps Sylvia?
I glance up to find Mike blushing.
“I will tell you this story, if you like, if you would join us later.”
“I’m not sure I want to hear it again,” Mike says in an undertone.
Elke smiles at me. “Because he will blush and no man likes to blush. You will see. It is a sign only that I tell the truth.” She nods with conviction then turns her attention to her salad.
Mike clears his throat. “I was planning to show Elke the greenhouse after dinner. She works for a company that manufactures water and temperature control systems for greenhouses, and has some ideas for managing both in a small space.” He smiles as if to reassure me but it’s the heat in his eyes when his gaze clings to mine that convinces me their relationship is professional only.
“Maybe you’ll have time to sit with us after that? ”
“Okay.”
I want to fling my hands at the ceiling as I head back toward the kitchen. Okay . That’s all I could manage to say before these highly educated individuals. It’s like prom night all over again, me feeling like I don’t fit in.
I will not cede that Patrick Cavendish is right about me being an inappropriate choice.
But as I pick up another round of appetizers, I realize that this time, no one is trying to make me feel like an outsider. Elke was friendly to me. Mike wants me to join them. I see Elke talking to Sierra and making her smile. I feel Mike watching me and look up to catch his smile. My heart skips.
Sierra looks to be enchanted by Elke by the time they head for the stairs. The snippet of conversation I overhear explains why.
“Yes, yes, but the humidity is a necessary addition to the calculation,” Elke says. “It influences both the plants’ need for water and their ability to consume it…”
The three of them head up the stairs, talking mathematics and calculations with a confidence I’ll never share around numbers. I could take that as a shortcoming, but I refuse to do so. None of them can draw, even a little, a reminder that we each have our gifts.
I’ve spent a big chunk of my life feeling like I didn’t measure up to other people’s standards and expectations, but maybe some of that is coming from me. Maybe I need to change the narrative, just the way I suggested Mike switch things up with his dad.
I am who I am. It’s time I owned that .
It’s time I joined the conversation, treating myself as an equal.
Merrie rings the bell. It’s time I got these crème br?lées to table four.
Elke comes downstairs first and alone.
The restaurant is almost empty now. I’m picking up the last of the dishes and wiping down tables. Colin is unloading clean dishes from the dishwasher so he can run another cycle tonight and Merrie is cleaning up her prep area.
“It is good,” Elke says to her and Merrie smiles. “Very good.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed your meal,” I say.
“And I am glad to know of your bistro. You understand that I am here on business and will have clients to entertain over the next month or so. I should like a reservation for two for each Friday and your number so I can modify that as needed.”
We head to the hostess station and I add the reservations she’s requested. She bookmarks our website on her phone as I’m expressing my thanks for her business.
Elke takes a breath, squaring her shoulders. “And now we talk, while Michael is not here to blush.”
I smile and gesture to an empty table.
She sits and taps her nails on the table when I don’t sit. “Do not think this is easy for me. I had ideas from the moment I met Michael Cavendish, very appealing ideas, and they only became stronger the more I knew him. He is a good man.”
I have no idea where she’s going with this, so I just listen.
She gives me a look. “I tried, oh many times, to turn his thoughts in certain directions, but Michael was always a gentleman.” She indicates the seat opposite her and this time, I sit .
“You love Mike,” I say.
“And it is of no relevance, for admiration unreturned must be forgotten. Or at least ignored.” She smiles at me.
“But I must tell you all of it. I was frustrated by his good manners, so finally I bought him schnapps. It was our first year of studying together. It was Christmas. He was leaving for Canada the next day and I feared he would not come back. I took my chance. I invited him to my apartment, certain I would succeed in making him forget to be a gentleman.” She shakes her head.
“But Michael, he is not accustomed to schnapps, not even as I am, and he became drunk too fast.”
I know that Mike isn’t a big drinker and smile.
She raises her hands. “You would think a man of such size would have capacity, but no, not Michael.” She holds up two fingers. “We have two schnapps, I am feeling warm and amorous, and he falls asleep.”
Her outrage is so clear that I smile despite myself.
She drops her voice. “My little sister can drink more schnapps than this.”
I believe it.
Elke nods. “And then he talks. He does not make sense, not at first, but he talks and he talks and soon enough I understand. There is a woman who broke his heart, a woman he loved who left him, a woman he has lost forever. I could hear the violins. Such anguish.” She pauses for a moment, considering me with sparkling eyes.
“Oh, to be this woman! To be this woman named Sylvia.”
I am so pleased by this story that I doubt I can hide it.
“Oh yes. I have despised you and I apologize for that. Even then, so many years ago, Michael was in love. And so, when I come here this time and his eyes light when he sees you, I know that you are not just any Sylvia. You are this Sylvia.”
“Schnapps Sylvia,” I say .
She leans closer. “You are Michael’s Sylvia. Even when you were gone from his life, I could not compete with you. I am too smart to even try to do so when you are right here, perhaps even in his bed.”
I don’t know what to say to that.
“I like the girl,” she says quietly. “I see Michael in her, but also you.”
“I’m proud of her.”
“You should be. She is clever like Michael but has a warmth that I think must come from you.” To my surprise, Elke offers her hand. “And so, we shall be friends, united in our admiration for Michael. If ever there is anything I can do to add to his happiness, you must tell me.”
I slip my hand into the cool strength of hers and she gives it a crisp shake. “I’d like that,” I say, only realizing that it is true when the words leave my lips.
She lifts a brow. “And if ever you break his heart again, you must promise to send him to me for consolation. I will take, as they say, crumbs from the table, and be glad of it.” She smiles but it’s a sad smile.
“I didn’t mean to break his heart.” I don’t want to do it again.
“I know. The child explains all. I understand.” She nods and stands, her manner brisk. “And so, I will be here in Canada each summer as is always the way, and you will not be fearful of my presence. We are allies, Sylvia.”
“Yes. Thank you, Elke.”
She smiles at me and I smile back, my heart squeezing tightly. “I have ordered a system from Holland for the small greenhouse to control the temperature and the water flow. It will be a good test case for us and should arrive Monday. Is the bistro open then? Will I be able to come and install it?”
“I’ll be here Monday. In my studio upstairs. ”
Her brows rise. “Ah! You are an artist?”
“Yes.” I smile, liking the sound of calling myself an artist. “I had put it aside, but started to draw again recently, with Mike’s encouragement.”
“I should be delighted to see your work, if you are inclined to show it to anyone.”
“I don’t have many finished pieces, but I could show you on Monday.”
“And so, we have the date.” Elke offers her hand again but this time, I see past her cool manner. There are shadows in her eyes, a hint that this wasn’t easy for her.
But she did it for Mike.
I impulsively step forward and give her a hug. She stiffens for a moment, then hugs me back.
“Friends,” I say to her. “With a date.”
“Yes,” she agrees with more warmth in her smile. “I am so glad of it, Sylvia.”
“Me, too.”
We’re standing together like that when Mike comes down the stairs with Sierra and I see the relief in his expression. Then he explains that he has to take Elke to her rental in Havelock. I need to take Sierra home, and our ways part for another night.