Chapter 31
thirty-one
“I’m happy you got out the bed today,” Dania hummed, gathering Kamilla’s washed hair into a ponytail. “I was thinking you could come with me to my appointment today and then we can grab lunch.”
Kamilla sighed and continued fidgeting with her nails like she been doing for the majority of Dania wrestling her coils. “I know I should eat…just don’t feel like it. Go without me. You’ve been over here for three days. I’m okay.”
“I told you I wasn’t leaving you. Plus, Nate is busy doing whatever it is that he’s doing,” Dania countered.
“You really got to take care of yourself and that baby, D.”
“And so do you, K. That’s if you’ve made a decision yet,” Dania spoke carefully.
“I couldn’t live with myself if I aborted it,” Kamilla hummed. “I’ve just been trying to figure out how I’m going to have a baby and go to school. I’m sorry I’m such a dark cloud right now.”
“Please don’t apologize. You’re feeling your way through it and that’s actually healthy. The alternative is locking it away and letting it eat you alive,” Dania spoke as a knock sounded against the front door. “You expecting someone?”
“No,” Kamilla groaned, pushing herself up off of the floor and walking a few steps to the door. Upon pulling it open and seeing Aunt J, she attempted to slam it in her face but her foot in the door broke the motion. Aunt J pushed her way in, looked around and huffed. “Why are you here?”
“Must be nice hiding out somewhere that’s not roped off with caution tape and the carpet isn’t soaked with blood. My house is a mess.”
“You let him move in,” Kamilla grumbled, folding her arms over her chest. “Why are you here?”
“I wanted to see how you were doing after everything,” Aunt J admitted, but the glint of guilt was short lived. “Especially after your little boyfriend killed your cousin on top of you. Do you know how reckless that is, Kamilla?”
“About as reckless as the cousin who isn’t my cousin trying to violate me after fucking the neighborhood whore?
I couldn’t imagine which one you’d rather have.
Maybe the violation would’ve sat better with you so you could sweep it under the rug with everything else.
Do you know he flushed my mother down a toilet after he shit on her,” Kamilla scoffed and rubbed her hands over her face. The tears threatening to come back.
“Breathe, Kamilla,” Dania coached, the way she’d done for the last two nights.
“Who are you? I’m talking to my niece,” Aunt J snapped.
“And I’m consoling my friend. You know, none of this shit would have happened if you didn’t tell her to come get her shit,” Dania snapped back.
Pulling in a sharp inhale, Kamilla interrupted a brewing argument.
“You’re here to talk to me right? Talk to me.
So you’re here for what? For real? Hand deliver the rest of your sister’s life insurance so I can go to school?
Otherwise, you and I have nothing to talk about, to review, to break bread over. ”
Aunt J huffed as if Kamilla asking for what was rightfully hers was annoying her. “There’s no money.”
“What?” Kamilla and Dania sounded off.
“What do you mean there is no money? You were supposed to be holding it. Where is my money for school?” Kamilla charged.
Aunt J laughed mockingly. “You haven’t been concerned with that money for weeks. In here fuckin’ some nigga that can’t even take care of you.”
“That doesn’t have shit to do with my money. Where is it?”
She huffed. “Martez stole it. I didn’t realize it until a couple days ago. I was hoping to be at the house when you came but-”
Dania spoke up, blowing the lid off of Aunt J’s false concern.
“You were down the street waiting. How else did the cops get there so fast? How would the cops know where we were? There’s only one common dominator in all of this.
You knew who Martez was and as long as he was giving you that mid-ass weed and whatever else, you were cool.
He threw her around like a ragdoll and you just sat in your car and waited. Tell me, I’m lying!”
Kamilla’s eyes narrowed. “You set me up?”
“N-no. I wanted to-” Aunt J stammered, as Kamilla moved closer. “They were supposed to get rid of C4. That was the plan to get you back home, with us, where you belonged.”
“Congratulations,” Kamilla spat bitterly. “You got rid of him. At a time when I needed him the most. Does that make you feel good? Knowing that you won? A notch in your bitter ass belt. I’m so good on you. If I don’t ever see you again, it’d be too soon.”
Aunt J studied Kamilla. The dewiness of her skin a clear sign of what she was carrying.
“You let him knock you up?” she scoffed.
“Wow. I was right. You’re just like her.
Have fun raising a baby alone. If you were smart, you’d get rid of it like my brother told my sister to do.
Maybe shit would’ve been different if it weren’t for you. ”
Kamilla clenched her fist by her side, restraining herself from punching her aunt in her mouth. “Maybe if you weren’t so bitter, shit would’ve been different. Maybe if you choose a man who loved you back…”
Aunt J’s eyes grew large.
“Yeah, I know how you threw yourself at my dad and he curved you. Too young, too fast, too pretentious. So maybe you fucked up and started this. Whatever it is, it’s yours to carry, my shit heavy enough. We have somewhere to be so…” Kamilla pointed to the door.
Aunt J gave her one last look and smirked. “Enjoy ruining your life.”
Dania stood between the two and glared at Aunt J until she switched her enhanced ass out. Kamilla caught the additives to her once slim frame. “K, that lady put your tuition on her ass. I hope that fix a flat eats her alive.”
Kamilla shook her head and pushed out a sigh. “Let’s get to the clinic and lunch. I’m going to work. See how many buildings Fredo can give us.”
She was in an in-between place. Between accepting her fate and wanting to fight it.
Fighting it had exhausted her so there wasn’t any choice but to sit in it and learn how to swim.
It wasn’t the fear of drowning – it was the fear of swimming and forgetting what everything felt like before the waves came.
After the clinic and lunch, Dania joined her at the studio to clean. For Kamilla, staying busy was going to be the only way she navigated these waters. Her headphones stuffed her ears, letting her father’s voice rap her through the troubled waters.
It was Fredo’s subtle tap on her shoulder that made her stop and pull the headphones out her ears. “Hey, Fredo.”
“What you doing here? I wasn’t expecting see you for another couple of days after that shit,” Fredo spoke, motioning her to a nearby couch. “Come sit by an old man for a second.”
Kamilla gave a him a weary look.
“Don’t play with me, girl. Come sit,” Fredo directed and Kamilla followed. “How you holding up?"
Kamilla bounced his shoulders. “Today’s my first day out the bed. Dania’s been forcing me to eat. Cairo won’t see me and my tuition money is gone.”
“Mm,” he grunted. “Let me guess, J, took it?”
“Blamed it on Martez. I don’t put it past them that they both enjoyed it.
What can I do about it now? Everything is so…
murky. My mother is gone. That bitch ass nigga flushed her.
And I’m pregnant so…this is one of the worst times of my life.
Again. So I need to be here; one, so I can figure school out and two, so I don’t slip any further into darkness. ”
Fredo listened because he knew there was more Kamilla needed to unload. And so did he.
“Oh, and the news of Martez killing my father but was really aiming at Cairo. And Cairo said nothing about that. That nigga told me it was pay back for dad killing my uncle.”
Fredo winced. “That was some bullshit.”
“You know what happened? Tell me,” Kamilla stated.
Fredo pulled in a deep breath. “You want to know everything?”
“I want to know everything. I deserve that much,” Kamilla grunted, her eyes dropping to her hands.
“Martez did fire the shot. KP was very fond of Cairo. He saw himself in him. And yeah he had you, he loved you beyond life. But Cairo, he took him under his wing and poured into him because their upbringings were so similar. So yeah, KP jumped in front of Cairo so the nigga could live his wildest dreams. You two ending up together is some shit only your pops could orchestrate from the other side. So when you do speak to your nigga, don’t go too hard on him.
He didn’t come out that grief until you popped up,” Fredo shared.
“Now as far as your uncle and your momma, KP did what any man would who loved their family would do. Your uncle was Martez amplified. Had a problem with his hands. And when he found out your momma was seeing KP…he lost his shit.”
“How’d he find out?” Kamilla quizzed and Fredo gave her a look. “Aunt J?”
“Mhmm. That jealous streak in her. You mother was older and known to be a product of a loving marriage, and J was the baby your grandmother’s husband had on the side.
A child she raised as her own.” Fredo lingered there and Kamilla took note to circle back to that.
“Anyway…Your uncle went into a rage. Cussin’ your momma out, putting his hands on her, callin’ her everything.
She’d just found out she was pregnant with you.
KP was here at the studio when he got the call and we all pulled up.
And we all held that nigga down. That deepened the rift between the Hearts and the Kings.
Shit was spooky out here, so he moved y’all to Greenwood and made that trip religiously.
And when KP passed, I begged her to come back, she just wouldn’t do it.
I sent money every month, checked in…I didn’t know it was that bad.
And, baby girl, I’m sorry I didn’t show up. ”
Fredo turned to look at Kamilla. Her eyes drifting to his, finding familiarity she avoided before.
“What are you saying to me?” Kamilla asked, brows dipping.
Fredo pulled in a deep breath and palmed his goatee.
“Your mother, she was mine. And for the sake of not turning our neighborhood into death row, I stepped away. Close enough to watch, positioned myself to guide her if need be. It wasn’t until she moved to Greenwood that she let me in.
Everyday I’ve felt like I failed her. Failed you. ”
Kamilla scoffed and laughed dryly. “So I just come from a line of women who keep choosing the opposition, huh?”
“Pretty much, but I can tell you what, every one of us loved y’all.”
Kamilla pulled in a deep breath and swiped a tear from her cheek. “And here I was, thinking I was going to be alone.”
Fredo took her hand. “If you let me, I got you.”
Tearfully, she nodded. “I actually need you because I have no idea what I’m doing. And I’m scared out of my mind.”
“Being scared is ok, Kamilla. It makes you strong. There’s no bitch in your blood. You keep fighting. You keep getting up. You’ll make it to the other side, hear me?”
She nodded. “Yeah, I hear you.”
Fredo pulled her into an embrace he knew she needed.
One he’d been longing to pull her into since their first conversation.
This was his chance to right his wrongs involved with his lineage.
When he released her, he took her in with fatherly eyes.
“I don’t have any pull at OSU, but there’s a spot for you in the valley and a house you can stay in. ”
“You sure?”
He nodded. “It’s yours. Bought it when I found out about you. Say the word and I’ll make the call.”
“Word.”
He accepted her acceptance. “I’ll be there every step of the way. If you want to keep working until it’s time to have that baby, that’s up to you.”
“I need to work. I don’t want to feel like I’m a charity case. Been there, not looking forward to going back.”
“You’re my granddaughter, taking care of you is my honor.”
“Just be here. I’ll work.”