~~~Chapter 4~~~ #2
However it went, my mama was nobody’s push-over.
She didn’t let my daddy cheat with no consequences.
In fact, she was notorious for punishing him, and my daddy would do whatever to make things work.
That was how they’d survived some of the darkest moments in their lives.
My daddy had decided that he was committed for life, and would do anything to right his wrongs.
Of course, my parents eventually got themselves together, and had me.
And two damn more, after me. I wasn’t around for the cheating version of my daddy.
I’d come along, after he’d learned his lesson.
Then my mama had a few fuck-ups that were only whispered about.
It wasn’t until my mama’s fuck-ups that they were forced to revisit the subject of JJ and his existence.
For the longest, my mama just flat out refused to accept JJ, and my daddy had allowed her to live in that space.
From his perspective, my mama didn’t ask for any of that, and he wasn’t going to force her, before she was ready.
So, JJ lived with relatives on his mama’s side, after his mama was killed.
After a while, it became a different thing for my daddy.
I think that he knew that the people raising JJ weren’t right, and it was consciencely eating him alive to leave his child in that situation.
So, eventually, JJ was brought home. I heard that the situation nearly broke my parents, but again, my daddy was committed to fighting.
So, he stepped outside of his comfort zone, and got my mama to agree to marital counseling.
Through intense therapy, my parents worked through so much of their trauma, and came out of that better.
And JJ was given the parents he always wanted.
Even the love from my mama that nobody could’ve imagined she’d be open to giving.
And the moment I was old enough to understand any of it, my parents shared it all. The good, bad, and ugly.
My mama always talks about being honest with us, so that we never have to walk the same path.
My daddy often gives us insight on how the typical man thinks.
Personally, I loved walking around in my daddy’s head, because he understood things from both perspectives.
The fuck boy and the grown man’s point of view.
So, you better believe that I was game tight.
In my dating life, there was nothing that a boy could pull on me. In between my parents, and siblings, my head remained on a swivel. So, when Zae found me, he had to come correct. I accepted nothing less.
Of course, as time goes on, you begin to see a person’s true colors, and I had decided somewhere that I didn’t care for who Zae was, at the core.
It wasn’t that Zae was a bad person. Or even the fact that he was one of the biggest weed sellers in the city.
He had four legal dispensaries around the city.
He was cool. The sex was good. I was attracted to him…
but I found myself questioning if I was truly special to him.
Zae once made the biggest fuss about me.
But that wasn’t surprising. In Houston, my family’s name, The Braxton’s, was larger than life.
My daddy once ran the dope game, and had retired as a multimillionaire.
But that isn’t where it ended with us. My mama and daddy literally birthed greatness, as their oldest, Jahrein Junior, was a NBA superstar.
Then my oldest sister, Jhyrah, was a social media megastar, who was married to Jeremy Wiltz, of the fucking NFL.
The accolades just went on and on. Hell, Jahreiah was just twenty-three, and was married to a fucking middle weight boxing champion of the world.
Long story short, being attached to me and my family was brag worthy, which meant that people often had ulterior motives.
I guess that’s probably why most of my family ended up with somebody from the same circle.
It was easier to choose a spouse, when you never had to question that person.
And unfortunately that wasn’t my situation.
Unlike a lot of my siblings and their situations, I hadn’t grown up with Zae. I met him when I was a ripe eighteen, and a freshman in college. He was in the streets, which gave me cause for pause, but eventually I fell for him.
Our relationship was probably everything you could imagine with a dude like Zae. We regularly took trips. My family practically owned the nightlife in the city, so going out was par for the course. We shopped. We fucked. And for a while, that kept me satisfied, until it didn’t.
I think the first time that I recognized serious cracks in our foundation was when I caught the flu.
All my life, I’d watched my daddy, Jahrein, cater to my mama.
Especially in moments when she wasn’t a hundred percent herself.
And he didn’t give a damn about her having a stuffy nose or cough.
He’d be right there with her. Holding her.
Up under her. Giving her medicine. Feeding her whatever she wanted.
Rubbing her body. With absolutely no concerns about getting sick too.
It was day two into my sickness when I realized that Zae was physically avoiding me, once he realized that I was sick.
And it took my mama and daddy to come over to ensure that I was okay.
My mama didn’t mention Zae, but my daddy definitely peeped that he wasn’t there.
And I could still hear his nonchalant words.
“I see that nigga aint here,” My daddy mentioned, as he was unwrapping the Nyquil he’d just bought me, while I was snuggled underneath a blanket on the couch.
“He a alright nigga, but shit like this shows you where you stand with a muthafucka. My girls are special. From your mama down to you and all your sisters. Everything stops when y’all need me.
And I’ma only let go and release you to a man, when I aint gotta step in.
Until then, Ion consider you having a man, in my eyes. ”
When my mama didn’t interject, I knew that they were on one accord, because Raven unquestionably had a mind of her own, and didn’t blindly follow anybody. Including my daddy.
“Well, for me,” she eventually spoke up. “You’re my baby forever. So, I don’t give a damn who’s here or not. But your daddy is a man, and he feels what he feels.”
And let’s just say that when I went to sleep, I was having hay fever dreams about Zae and me. I kept finding myself in distress and each time Zae would be somewhere around, watching me suffer. Hell, a damn monster was chasing me at some point, and Zae stood on the sidelines, smiling.
There was no denying it. My subconsciousness was telling me that he wasn’t the one.
Naturally, I told myself that I was tripping, but small instances kept recurring.
It was always something small. Like he’d go into the store without asking me if I wanted anything.
He never took initiative. And after a while, I realized that the nigga couldn’t even tell you what my favorite television show was, or the way I preferred my drink.
In some cases, I think people tried to apply the eighty/twenty rule.
As long as their spouse could provide eighty percent of their needs, then they could look past the twenty percent of their shortcomings.
With Zae, he had his own money, and could make some things happen with his resources.
The problem was there was absolutely nothing he was doing that I couldn’t do for myself.
Unbeknownst to some, I was a trust fund kid.
My daddy had put up millions for each of his kids.
So, once I graduated high school, I was able to tap into a two-million-dollar trust fund.
There was another two million I could touch, once I turned twenty-five.
Then my mama was the ultra-entrepreneur, and could flip a coin in her sleep.
And she’d bestowed all her knowledge upon me and my siblings.
Therefore, by the time I was eighteen, I already had stocks, bonds, and a few passed down properties under my belt.
Frankly, I’d only gone to college for the experience.
Then after two years, I was bored with that, and dropped out, with no push back from my parents.
Hell, according to them, as long as I wasn’t going crazy in the world, then I could do whatever I wanted.
Follow my own heart. Even if that meant that I didn’t have an official career.
So, I’d been doing an astronomical amount of living.
The residual income from my investments alone was enough to cover my expenses, and I had yet to touch a penny of my trust fund.
So, Zae being able to pay for things wasn’t impressive.
The problem was that for the average girl, simply being with the likes of someone like Zae was enough.
And he wanted me to see him the way that those other girls saw him.
He thought that he was special or the prize , and didn’t have to go the extra mile to keep a woman.
And unfortunately for him, he’d gotten with Jahrein Ty Braxton’s daughter, and he’d embedded the notion that I deserved the world into my head.
So, ultimately, me and Zae didn’t align anymore.
“Okay, so, what’s up with ole boy Malice?” Jahreiah probed, as we were now drifting down the freeway. “He gotta be something to have you leave the club with him.”
I sighed. “It really wasn’t like that. At first. I mean, I definitely thought that he was fine. Did you see him when you got out of the car?”
“Partially,” she claimed. “I saw that he has dreads and is a light brown complexion.”
“Right.” I nodded. “He’s also tall as fuck. Bowlegged. Like us. Pretty white teeth. Fine grade of hair. A strong back. With a colossal sized dick.”
Her eyes ballooned. “What the fuck, Jaylah? Since when are you freaked-out like this? What the hell were you thinking when you left with a damn stranger?”