~~~Chapter 8~~~
“The fuck?” Zae fumed, as he hopped off the couch, completely shirtless, wearing an angry scowl.
Standing in the middle of the living room, while he glared at me, I paused. For the first time in the last few months, I really looked at him. He was unquestionably handsome as fuck, but that wasn’t what I was observing, right then.
The hurt in his eyes had never been more evident than right then.
No matter what I’d been verbally telling him, I knew that I hadn’t really given him a fair shot.
Whole time, I was still holding onto that magical weekend with Malice, wondering if we could be more.
And now, my bubble had been busted, and it was back to reality. For real, this time.
Now that the dust had settled, I now knew that nothing was shaking with Malice. Whether that was because Zae had answered my phone or if he was used as a cop-out didn’t matter now. He wasn’t a viable option and perhaps I needed that clarity in order to refocus.
At the end of the day, I wasn’t settling for anybody, regardless of the situation. However, I couldn’t honestly say what I felt for Zae, after letting Malice be this invisible barrier between us.
“So, you just hop up and don’t say nothing?” He questioned with open arms.
I sighed. “Yeah. I…needed to clear my head.”
He frowned. “For what?”
“Because. I was confused.”
His eyes hooded. “About what?”
Tucking my lips into my mouth, I licked them. “About us, Zae.”
Gradually nodding, he exhaled. “I knew that you was holding back.”
“I wouldn’t put it like that. More like distracted.”
“By that nigga that called your phone?” His nostrils flared.
I slowly nodded.
“You was feeling him like that?”
I huffed. “He…he was cool…but it’s really about what that experience taught me.”
“And what’s that?” He lifted his chin.
“That I don’t have to force anything with anybody. Having a man completely tuned into me is the bare minimum, and I don’t have to fight for that with you, when its being freely given elsewhere.”
“So, so you think that the grass is greener on the other side? You really believe that running off with the next nigga wouldn’t come with it’s own set of problems? Shit wouldn’t get lost in translation, after a while? They won’t never fall short of your expectations?”
I tilted my head. “That’s what I’m coming to terms with. Thinking that there’s always better leads to chasing an illusion. I’d never be satisfied like that. I want a love like my parents have, but sometimes I forget about everything they had to go through to get where they are now.”
“So, what you saying?” He quizzed, as he closed the gap between us.
I gulped. “I’m saying that…I’ma stop being difficult and see what we can really be.”
“That sounds good,” he claimed. “But…where was you? Did you go see that nigga?”
I immediately shook my head. “No. I was riding around and ended up at a spot, having mimosas.” I gave a half truth.
He studied my face. “Ion know if I believe you.”
“Well, that’s what it is,” I nonchalantly insisted.
His eyes remained trained on me. “You so fucking slick, girl.”
I stretched and yawned. “Well, I can’t help that.”
He smoothly wrapped an arm around my waist. “Can I finally feel you?”
I leaned my neck back, while still within his arms. “Feel me?”
“Yeah.” He kissed my lips.
Rolling my eyes to the ceiling, I sighed. “I guess, nigga.”
Letting him have his way, he guided us over to the couch. He copped a squat, leaving me standing. He then hungrily peeled my clothes off, and I let him.
Once I was butt naked, I stood and watched him maneuver out of his boxers, causing his, long, thick, black dick to spring up.
No lie, it had been a minute since I’d seen the dick, and had nearly forgotten that Zae was working with a monster too.
“Come'er,” he commanded, as he gripped my thighs, forcing me to straddle his shoulders.
Feeling frisky, I seductively rolled my hips while he spread my pussy lips apart. My mouth opened, as I felt his tongue flicker over my clit.
With the stillness of my house, the sounds of him sloshing over my pussy were loud.
“Oh, shit,” I rasped, as my head fell back, while I cuffed my own titties.
Look, I don’t know. Maybe Malice had put temporary roots on me, and now the spell was broken, because the way Zae was eating the pussy…I had to be losing my mind when I said that I didn’t want it anymore.
“Oh, baby!” I screamed, while he was working that tongue at a rapid speed.
I was literally about to explode when Zae moved me off his shoulders and made me straddle his lap. Before I could even catch my bearings, his dick was pushed between my slit.
I sharply inhaled, as he pushed himself completely inside of me.
“Ummm,” I moaned, as he was now cuffing my titty and gingerly sucking my nipple.
My toes curled, as I rocked my hips, gliding up and down his shaft.
“Damn, bae,” he huskily breathed out, as I tightened my pussy muscles around his dick. “I been missing this pussy like crazy.”
Saying nothing, I bounced this ass, riding that dick at the perfect angle to cum.
“Damn, Jaylah, baby, I fucking love you. I swear to God. Tell me…tell me that this pussy is mine forever.”
Knowing his weakness, I bounced hard, until I could feel him sputtering inside of me. And just like that…I avoided making promises that I wasn’t certain that I could keep.
I was definitely committing to trying again, but I still didn’t know if this is where I’d be in the long run. So, I was keeping my mouth closed, until I was sure.
***
“What the fuck?” I rolled out of Zae’s arms and gasped.
“Huh?” His head popped up, as I’d clearly disrupted his sleep.
“Shit,” I huffed, while placing a palm on my bare chest.
“What happened?” He questioned, as concern was laced in his voice.
My eyes traveled to his. “I had a bad dream.”
He pulled me into his arms. “About what?” He sweetly kissed my lips, with morning breath and all.
Briefly, my eyes closed and I indulged in the comfort he was providing.
It had been two weeks since I’d let him back in, for real, and I hadn’t regretted it yet.
This felt like it did when I was eighteen and had stars in my eyes.
Zae had been beyond attentive and even the sex had been consistently pleasurable.
So, I’d made peace with us being back together and I was no longer fighting it.
I don’t know. Maybe dealing with Malice was the encounter that needed to happen so that me and my man could realign.
“It felt so real,” I admitted, referring to the dream.
“What was it about?” He wanted to know.
I gulped. “You. And Claro. It started off with me and you. We was fussing about something. Then suddenly I’m watching you leave with Claro.
Then it’s like I’m hovering over y’all, watching a scene play out.
I’m screaming at the top of my lungs, telling y’all to leave…
but you can’t hear me. Then…then somebody starts shooting. ”
For a second, silence lingered between us, as Zae was probably processing what I’d told him.
“Damn. You—”
I didn’t get to hear his complete statement, as I abruptly rolled my naked body out of bed, and scurried to the bathroom. Just in the nick of time, I made it to the toilet, before spilling my guts out.
Violently, I vomited, until I was dry heaving, with nothing left to give. Eventually, I crawled to my feet, and dragged myself over to the sink to rinse out my mouth.
I was so distracted that it took a while for me to realize that Zae was now in the bathroom with me, standing directly behind me, naked, studying our reflection in the vanity mirror.
“What?” I paused and questioned, as our eyes locked.
His eyes lowered to slits. “For the past few weeks…you been throwing up every other day.”
“I know.” I softly whimpered, while clutching my stomach. “It gotta be some type of virus going around.”
“Right. Cause I just started back fucking you, and you was already throwing up, at that point.”
I hesitated, wondering what he was getting at. “Right.”
“Yeah, so answer this question for me.” He licked his lips.
“What?”
“That…that nigga that called your phone, after you went missing that whole weekend…did you fuck him?”
I sighed. “Zae—”
“Nah, fuck that!” His lips angrily curled, as he glared at me. “Answer the question, Jaylah.”
“But we weren’t together,” I pouted.
“So, you fucked him?” He pressed.
“Zae—”
“Answer the fucking question!”
I sniffed, as I was put on the spot. “But I’m not pregnant.”
“And how the fuck do you know?”
“Because,” I gulped, having no real answer.
Me being pregnant had crossed my mind a couple of times. This constant nausea wasn’t normal for me. My breasts were extra tender…and my period was late.
The problem was that I was late, before I’d recently laid down with Zae.
Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that, until me and Zae were already back tight.
Hell, and if my calculations were correct, then it was probably too late to terminate in the state of Texas with that dumb ass heartbeat law.
So, I had been sleeping with my toes crossed, hoping that this was a false alarm.
“Nah, main.” Zae vehemently shook his head. “Hell, nawl. You don’t even know what to say, cause you know that you could be fucking pregnant. Did he wear a condom?”
“A condom?” I frowned.
He snarled. “You and these clipped responses…I’m finna lose my cool on you, Jaylah. I swear to God.”
“But I didn’t do anything,” I whimpered. “We literally wasn’t together.”
He shook his head, before stomping out of the bathroom.
“Zae,” I jogged after him.
He snatched up a pair of pants and hastily stepped into them.
“Baby, what are you doing?” I questioned, as I grabbed his forearm.
He jerked out of my grasp. “Say, get the fuck away from me.”
After I saw him stepping into his shoes, I knew that he was leaving. So, I hurriedly grabbed his NBA jersey and tossed it on, and followed him through the house.
“So, you just gone walk out on me like that?” I asked, while stepping behind him. “Zae!” I shouted, as he jogged downstairs.
Picking up the pace, I ran after him. Eventually, I caught up with him on the second floor of my four-story home.
“Where are you going?” I questioned, as I jumped in front of him.
“Say, girl, get the fuck outta my face,” he growled. “Before I fuck around and put my hands on you. Cause you really fucking pushing it.”
I frowned. “How am I pushing it? Because I’m trying to have a conversation with you?”
He shook his head. “And I’m leaving cause talking aint working with you. I asked you if you let that nigga raw dog you, and you still haven’t answered me.”
“Cause I feel like it’s irrelevant,” I rebutted. “Just like if you fucked somebody else during that time. That’s your business.”
“Okay.” He angrily nodded. “So, if I got a baby on the way, you aint tripping, right?”
My lashes fluttered. “I didn’t say that.”
“Exactly.” He nodded. “Get the fuck out of my way, before I slide your ass, man.”
“No,” I refused. “Cause you are really tripping. We were literally broken up—”
Just then, somebody rang my doorbell.
“That’s probably your nigga at the door.” Zae stepped around me, and jogged downstairs to the first floor.
I jogged down, as he answered the door, with his shirt slung over his left shoulder.
“Nigga, why you aint answering the phone?” Claro immediately questioned, as he stepped inside.
“Shit, I been in here dealing with this broad,” Zae spat, as he glanced back at me.
“Pshh.” I waved him off, as I approached them. “Like I said, I’m not done talking.”
Zae’s eyes looked me up and down. “I know one muthafuckin’ thang. You better go put on some fucking clothes.”
Glancing down, I examined the way his jersey clung to my body. It was definitely snug, but was fully covering everything. “I’ll change, when you bring your ass back upstairs,” I argued.
Claro cleared his throat. “I’m saying, my nigga,” he addressed Zae. “I came through, because we gotta handle something.”
Zae looked at his boy. “Now?”
Claro nodded. “Right now.”
Suddenly, my stomach twisted into knots. “Nah, wait a minute. This is deja vu, Zae. You know I just told you about my dream, and now here’s Claro, trying to get you to leave.”
Claro scowled, as he peered at Zae. “What she talking about?”
Zae sighed. “She had a dream…that’s playing out…just how she described it. She said that we was being shot at, when she woke up.”
“Damn.” Claro uttered.
“Yeah, I know, huh?” Zae added.
Claro shrugged. “But shit, it is what it is. Can’t live our lives in fear.”
“Bet not,” Zae agreed.
Rolling my eyes, I shook my head. “This is so fucking stupid,” I grumbled, while tears rolled down my cheeks.
Zae turned to face me. “Look, I’ma roll with this nigga, right quick. We can pick this conversation back up, when one of us comes back to get our car.”
“Whatever,” I pouted, while the tears continuously fell.
“It’s alright, sis. That nigga will be back,” Claro promised, clearly not realizing that it was about more than them leaving, right then.
He turned to open the door, when Zae pulled his shirt over his head.
“Wait.” Claro paused, and turned around to face us. “My nigga, hug ya gal, and tell her that you love her. Just in case.”
For a second, Zae paused, before turning to me. “Come here,” he whispered, before pulling me into his strong arms. “I’ma be back. I promise. I love you. You hear me?”
I nodded, as he released me. “I love you too. Be safe.”
“I will,” he vowed.
I peeked around at Claro. “You too, big boy. You be safe.”
Claro smiled, and winked. “I got you, sis. We’ll be back.”
“Okay,” I exhaled, before watching them march out of the door.
With my emotions all over the place, I stood in the doorway, watching them hop into Zae’s beamer. As they backed out of the driveway, I closed my eyes, and did a silent prayer.
God, please watch over them. Protect them. And bring them back home. I beg of you. Amen.