~~~Chapter 9~~~ #2
Standing there, I could see that there was a dark cloud gathering over Zae’s head, and I wasn’t sure if I was weathering this storm with him.
Especially if he was planning to play shoot ‘em up in the streets. Like my daddy had always said, he’d hustled too hard, put too much on the line, just for his daughters to end up with a nigga who was gonna drag us back to the places he’d fought to escape. And daddy hadn’t raised no damn fool.
So, I was definitely going to help nurse Zae back to health, because I’d never abandon him at a time like this. However, the status of our relationship was once again uncertain.
***
After tapping in a code, I pushed the double doors open, before stepping into my parents’ massive home with a heavy heart.
Although the home was expansive, including the foyer, I felt this immediate, inexplicable warmth wrap around me.
Seconds later, the sound of flapping flip flops could be heard hitting the hardwood floors, before my mommy’s pretty face came into view.
Without saying a word, she approached me with open arms, that I eventually fell into, and boohooed my eyes out. Offering comfort that no other person on this earth could, my mommy hugged me tightly, while soothingly rubbing my back. Without an ounce of shame, I released it all.
Naturally, she knew about the shooting. I’d texted her, letting her know about Claro, and her immediate response was that I needed to come home. She needed to lay eyes on me.
Yep. Whenever life would become too heavy, me and all my siblings would seek refuge here. Because no matter how old we’d get, Raven would always be our safe place.
***
That night, I was tossing and turning in my bed at my parents’, as my emotions and thoughts were all over the place. It was honestly overwhelming as I thought about Claro, Zae, and my late period.
There were so many variables to consider.
And no path was simple. Initially, I thought that my biggest issue with Zae was his lack of attentiveness, only to find out that he was still in the damn streets.
That changed everything for me. I also didn’t want to seem callous and abandon him in his time of need.
“This is too much,” I groaned, as I rolled onto my back and gazed up at the high ceiling.
Just then, I heard a brief tap on the door, before it crept open.
“Jaylah. You sleep?” My daddy whispered, as he stuck his head in the room.
I gradually sat up. “No. I’m up.”
“Good,” he sighed, as he flicked on the light, and ambled fully into the room. “Cause I need to holler at you.”
My lashes fluttered, as he sat at the foot of the bed. “About what?”
“Shit, I’m tired.” He yawned and stretched. “And stressed,” he messily added.
I smirked, while shaking my head. My daddy was always claiming that we were stressing him out.
Meanwhile, the man didn’t have a wrinkle in sight.
My friends would always jokingly say that they’d gladly be my step-mama if Raven ever fumbled him.
Then people who didn’t know us would always think that I’m lying when I’d say that he was my daddy, because if he told anybody that he was twenty-five, they wouldn’t bat an eye.
Jahrein was about 6’4, with reddish brown skin, a cut physique, wavy hair, and extreme bowlegs. He was still in pristine shape, due to him regularly participating in amateur sports.
So, long story short, for a man that was always stressed, according to him, then there was no physical evidence of the claim.
“Stressed about what, daddy?” I questioned.
He turned to face me. “Cause I’m not liking what I’m hearing.”
I sighed. “What did you hear?”
“That Zae is moving dope,” he revealed. “Now, I’m pissed that I hadn’t been keeping up.
Otherwise, I would’ve been shut this situation down.
That nigga clearly got beef. Nobody knows who pulled the triggers, yet.
But still…you aint about to be caught up in his bullshit.
So, I’ma need you to put some distance between you and him. ”
For a second, I said nothing, as I thought about it.
I then cleared my throat. “You know what, daddy? The conversation that you came to have…aint even necessary. I promise. Now, I’ma keep going to visit him, until he’s out of the hospital.
Might even check on him when he’s out. But our relationship?
It’s on ice, for now. He needs to work out whatever drama he got going on in the streets.
And as long as he stays in the streets…then there’ll be nothing between us. ”
Instantly, my daddy cracked the biggest smile. “Okay. That’s what I wanna hear. My baby is using the good sense God gave her.”
“I know, right?” I lightly giggled.
“But you know what?” He grew serious. “The fact that it was so easy for you to make this decision…tells me that you really don’t love that nigga.”
“Well, damn.” I leaned my head back.
He chuckled. “Aye. I’m just saying. I know when y’all in love. Especially my daughters. We can’t pry y’all off them niggas. Meanwhile, you aint got no fight in you, baby girl. What’s up with that?”
I shrugged. “It’s your fault.”
He hooded his eyes. “And how is that?”
I tucked my lips into my mouth. “I want love with intensity. Something undeniable. The way that you love my mama.”
He whistled. “Nah…Ion think you want that, for real. Hell, I’m not sure if I want that for you. Even with therapy and everything else…I know that my love for your mama is unhealthy. I love her ass too much. I know it. But I just can’t help it.” He opened his arms.
I tittered. “I know, daddy. We all know. As long as you’re mature enough to regulate your emotions now. It’s cool.”
He chuckled. “Yeah…you talking that shit cause you don’t understand it.
Your mama jokes about the shit now…and that’s because she grew up too.
She learned to stop testing the waters. Cause we can trigger each other like a muthafucka…
but between me and you, baby girl…I don’t think that there’s nothing that your mama can do to make me stop loving her the way that I do. It’s jail or hell ‘bout her.”
I cracked a gigantic smile, before singing. “Mobbin’, schemin’, lootin’, hide your bodies type of love, huh?”
Wearing a grin, he nodded. “You already know.” He stood up. “Now, let me head up to the penthouse,” he referred to his and my mama’s master suite. It was the damn size of a three-bedroom apartment, equipped with a living room and kitchen. “Love you, baby.”
I nodded. “Love you too.”
***
The past three days had been nothing but a blur.
From spending most of my day at the hospital with Zae, to traveling way out to my parents’ to crash and burn nightly, I was exhausted.
So much so that I had decided to visit Zae for a short while that day, before heading in early.
So, I was now kicking it, as it felt like a damn family reunion was happening.
I don’t know if my mama had sent out the bat signal or what, but all my siblings had pulled up, along with their spouses.
Then there were my cousins and their spouses.
Then my aunties, uncles, and play aunties had come through too.
And everybody made sure to stop and hug me, showing a whole lot of love. Offering words of encouragement.
No lie, I was caught off guard, but was pleased to be surrounded by family.
To know that I’d just seen Claro and had warned him before his death was haunting.
I questioned if the dream was coincidental or was there more to it.
My mama often talked about having dreams and knowing things…
and it made me wonder. Perhaps there was something spiritual about it.
I don’t know. There was just too much swirling around in my head, and I was grateful to have some alone time with some of my closest people.
Sitting poolside, separated from most of the other guests, it was me, my sisters Jhyrah, and Jahreiah, my cousin Keyasia, my aunt Rye…
who was closer to my age than my mama’s, and my sister-in-law Josairah.
With them…conversations got deep, and there wasn’t much that we didn’t share amongst each other.
So, when we were alone, we talked freely about things that other family members more than likely weren’t privy to.
Naturally, we had the perfect set-up, because there was absolutely nothing that my parents didn’t have at that house.
So, we had individual hookahs, handcrafted mixed drinks, while music played softly from the wireless speakers that were installed into the extensive and extravagant pergola we were sitting underneath.
“So, I was thinking,” Keyasia spoke, as she crossed one leg over the other, halting all the chatter amongst us. “Jaylah, you might need to go to sleep tonight and see if you can dream about me and some lottery numbers. I aint like Zae nem. Bet I fucking listen.”
Hearing that, everybody laughed.
“Yeah, no bullshit.” Rye high-fived Key. “Me and you both. Cause I swear that if Jaylen ever woke up,” she referenced her man, and my cousin…which was a long story. “Telling me that he’d just dreamed about me getting shot, bet that I wouldn’t turn around and carry my ass outside, right after.”
“Me, neither,” Josairah agreed.
“Look, you know it’s real when even the niggas are saying that they would’ve taken heed,” Key claimed.
“When I told Wale, he said that he probably would’ve stayed at home for at least a week straight.
Because he swears that I got a third eye and be knowing shit.
And I’m the reason that he aint dead or in jail. ”
“Maybe it’s a family thing,” Jhyrah guessed. “Because it seems like all my mama’s girls are inclined in that way.”
“Could be.” Jahreiah shrugged, before glancing at me.
For a second, I tuned everybody out, as I was absently scrolling through stories on IG.
I paused when I came across Paisley’s story.
I hadn’t spoken to her in a few weeks, and I guess that was because she wasn’t in need of any advice.
Nonetheless, like so many other women, Paisley didn’t post her man, so it was definitely brow raising to see a video of a shirtless guy sleeping behind her, as she smiled for the camera.
With an arched brow, I went to the next video, and my mouth slowly dropped. Paisley was once again cheesing, before panning the camera onto a very familiar face.
“What the fuck—” I grumbled.
“Zae still doesn’t know who shot him?” Riah enquired, throwing me off.
“No,” I sighed, while my stomach was now churning. “And if he does know, then he hasn’t said anything to me. But fuck him.” I rolled my eyes.
Jhyrah frowned. “Not fuck him. What done happened now?”
I bounced my knee anxiously, as I felt like I was on the verge of losing my mind. “He was in his feelings, because I told him that he should go to his mama’s house when he’s released from the hospital.”
“Damn, Jaylah,” Key chattered. “You ‘bout the meanest Braxton girl. I swear. The nigga can’t even come to your house?”
I scratched the back of my neck. “Not when I feel like we’re about to call it quits, anyway.
I figured that it was no sense in me doing real manual labor, only for him to become somebody else’s man in the foreseeable future.
I mean, I told him that I’d come help his mama.
Besides, his ass can’t climb all those stairs in my house, anyway.
But he wasn’t trying to hear that. So, it is what it is. ”
Josairah shook her head. “And your mean ass don’t even care, huh?”
“It’s not that—” I got out.
“It’s about this.” Jhyrah sightly lifted, to remove a wad of tissue from her back pocket.
“What the fuck?” Everybody except me spoke simultaneously.
“Hold up,” Jhyrah urged, as she unraveled the tissue to reveal a pregnancy stick.
“Uh, who is that for?” Rye questioned.
Jhyrah nodded her head in my direction. “Her.”
“It says pregnant,” Jahreiah announced, and all eyes shifted to me.
Tucking my lips into my mouth, I mumbled. “Yep.”
Since Jhyrah was in the bathroom with me when I took the test, I knew that she’d share the news, and I wasn’t tripping. When things came out in this group, it usually stayed between us. So, I trusted everybody sitting there. We were like a unit, for real.
“That’s crazy,” Key murmured.
“And there’s no way that it’s Zae’s?” Josairah questioned.
I shook my head. “Pretty impossible.”
“Okay,” Jahreiah spoke up. “So, are we calling up the Malice dude or what?”
I sighed. “I was gonna tell y’all…Malice is a no-go.”
“Why not?” Key wanted to know.
“Because I ran into him a few weeks ago. We sat down and had a talk. He’s back with his gal, so that’s the end of that.”
“His gal?” Key cringed. “But he was fucking you raw?”
I shrugged. “He said that they were broken up when he met me. Besides, it aint like I can judge, because I was basically doing the same thing.”
“Okay. But now you’re pregnant,” Jahreiah added.
“And I’m not keeping it,” I revealed.
“Why?” Jhyrah cut her eyes at me.
I looked at her like she was crazy. “Because having babies for niggas who are with other bitches is loser activity. I will not engage.”
“Hey, I feel you,” Key agreed.
Josairah tapped her arm while giving her the eye.
“What?” Key opened her arms. “I’m just saying.”
“Well, at least try calling him to see how he feels first,” Jahreiah suggested.
I shook my head, feeling dejected. “Maybe I would’ve done that, had I not just seen this.” I lifted my phone.
“Seen what?” Everybody asked in unison.
I tapped on the screen of my phone, and ventured back to the last story I’d looked at, before handing the phone to Jahreiah.
With hooded eyes, she studied the video. “Okay. I remember her. I did her hair that time.”
“Right.” I nodded. “And guess who’s in that video with her?”
Riah’s jaw dropped. “Bitch, no. Please tell me that this aint Malice.”
“It is,” I admitted.
“But didn’t you say that she calls you for relationship advice?”
“Yup.” I nodded. “Told me that I saved their relationship.”
Jhyrah snatched the phone from Riah to look at the video herself. “Aww, damn. And he’s fine as shit too. Both of them.”
“Let me see,” Key requested, before Jhyrah handed the cell off.
I sat and watched them pass my phone around, while they all offered their own commentary.
“This shit is so weird,” Riah summed up. “Like with all the people in this city, how the hell do you run into his gal?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I just can’t ignore all the signs that this aint meant to be. I was already against having a baby with somebody I’m not with. And now this. It’s just showing me that I don’t need to have this baby.”