Chapter 10
‘I haven’t been completely honest with you.’ Disa settled herself onto one of the chairs in her cabin and indicated that Fen should take the other. ‘There was a reason I wanted to come to Venice. Remember when I said I could do with your support?’
She was looking serious. Alarmed, Fen said, ‘Is something wrong? Are you ill?’
But Disa was already shaking her head. ‘No, no, I’m not ill. Nothing like that. It’s to do with . . . well, family, I suppose. You know how a couple of months ago I cleared out the garage? I found some letters I was never supposed to see.’
‘Letters? Who from? Were they sent to you and you’ve only just found them?’
Another shake. ‘They’d been sent to your grandfather, at his office. And he’d kept them well hidden. In an old envelope labelled “Income Tax Receipts”,’ Disa elaborated drily. ‘Because who in their right mind would look at ancient tax documents?’
The gentle slosh of water against the side of the ship increased as a motorboat chugged past. The air-conditioned cabin smelled of the signature perfume Disa always wore, a mix of peony and rose.
Fen realised she was deliberately concentrating on these scents and sounds to avoid thinking about what the letters might contain.
‘I loved your grandfather very much,’ Disa continued. ‘So much so that I married him even though I’d found out a few weeks before the wedding that he was still secretly seeing his previous girlfriend.’
‘No.’ Fen was genuinely shocked. ‘How did you find out?’
‘A friend saw them together and told me. She thought I should call off the wedding. Which I almost did, because obviously I was devastated. I lost it with Declan, went berserk and threw plates at the wall, all sorts. But he kept telling me he was sorry, he begged me to forgive him, and the truth was, I still loved him, still wanted to marry him.’ Disa paused.
‘He swore it was all over, he promised he’d never see the woman again.
So we went ahead and got married, with no one else having any idea what had happened. ’
Fen was still struggling to take it in. ‘That must have been so hard for you.’
‘It was. But at least nobody else knew. I’m sure people back then wouldn’t have thought I was the type to put up with being cheated on, but it turned out I was, so long as it was just the once.
For the next couple of years, I really struggled to believe he was wherever he said he was, but he was so sorry he’d hurt me, and desperate to make it up to me, that over time I grew to trust him again.
We were happy and we had a fantastic life together. ’
‘You did,’ Fen insisted. ‘I used to love coming to your house. You were both always laughing and having fun.’ But her mouth was dry, because the story wasn’t finished and she still didn’t know what was coming next. ‘You were so happy.’
Disa nodded in agreement, then reached sideways and pulled a large tattered envelope out of the long drawer beneath the marble-topped dressing table.
Fen pulled a face. ‘Are those the letters?’
‘They are. Don’t worry, you don’t have to read them.’
‘From her?’
‘From her. Yvette.’ Disa nodded and poured herself a glass of water from the carafe on the table.
‘Not written back then, though. After our wedding, she went to live and work as an au pair in Paris, and they lost touch. From the letters, it seemed they had no contact for twenty years. Then she came back to Bristol, bumped into Declan, and they started seeing each other again.’ She exhaled.
‘Which goes to show how clever some people can be. They were secretly meeting up and I had no idea.’
Fen shook her head. ‘It’s so unfair.’
‘It was. And that wasn’t all,’ said Disa. ‘Within months, she was pregnant.’
Fen’s hands flew to her mouth. ‘What?’
‘I know. Sorry, I’ve had a couple of months to get used to it.’
‘She sent the letters to Declan. So he knew. This is mind-blowing. Hang on,’ said Fen. ‘Twenty years after the affair first started?’
‘I was twenty-one when we got married. Declan was twenty-three. People often settled down earlier in those days. And Yvette, it turns out, was the same age as me. When she gave birth, she was forty-two years old.’
‘But you still had no idea that Declan had a secret family. My mum had a half-brother or half-sister and never knew.’
‘All I have are Yvette’s letters, but they’re very detailed. She obviously adored him,’ said Disa. ‘And according to her, he loved her too, but he always told her he couldn’t leave me.’
‘Because he loved you more. He couldn’t bear to lose you.’ God, this was like a TV soap, except it had really happened. ‘But why would he have run the risk of having an affair in the first place?’
‘I suppose because he was a risk-taker. When it comes to affairs, some people can’t resist that gamble, because if they don’t get found out, it counts as a win.
’ Disa shrugged. ‘And Declan didn’t get found out, did he?
He had a happy life with me – and it really was happy – as well as the extra thrill of a secret affair with Yvette. ’
Fen was twisting one of her curls around her index finger, struggling to compare this less-than-flattering version of Declan with the grandfather she’d known and adored. ‘I still can’t believe he did it.’
‘Nor could I, at first. But these things do happen. Please don’t hate him for it; everyone makes mistakes.
And it wasn’t all fun and games for him, being torn between two families.
From what she wrote, it was obvious he felt a huge amount of guilt for what he was doing to me, and to them.
He loved them but wasn’t able to visit as often as he wanted.
That can’t have been easy. If you do decide to read the letters, you’ll see that for yourself.
Some of it’s quite heartbreaking. And Yvette struggled terribly too.
She wanted a proper life with Declan but couldn’t have that.
In the end, she moved away from Bristol and found someone else.
Declan tried to maintain a relationship with his daughter, but Yvette told him it would only confuse and upset her.
Apparently the little girl was already calling the new partner Dad.
’ Disa took another sip of water. ‘Basically, Yvette stopped any further contact and remarried.’
Fen took a deep breath. ‘And where does Venice come in?’
Disa smiled. ‘I wondered when you’d get to that. The daughter lives here. I did a little light investigating, out of curiosity, and found her online.’
‘What? Are you going to make contact? Do you want to meet her?’
‘I did, today.’
‘What?’ This was becoming more surreal by the second. ‘How? Where?’
‘She works at that restaurant, La Lanterna di Rosa.’
Fen’s jaw dropped. ‘You’re kidding!’
‘She wasn’t working yesterday when you and I went there.’
‘So this time you took Jamie instead of me.’
‘I hadn’t planned to take Jamie, it was just the way it happened.
And she doesn’t know who I am yet. I couldn’t do that to her without any warning, not while she was in the middle of her shift.
I wanted to see her, speak to her, get an idea of what she was like.
’ Disa twisted the hexagonal gold bangle on her wrist. ‘If I didn’t like her, that might be enough and I wouldn’t feel any need to introduce myself. ’
‘Which means you did like her,’ said Fen.
‘I did. Anyone would. She’s a lovely girl.’
‘What’s her name?’
‘Molly.’
‘What does she look like?’
‘That’s the extraordinary thing. She looks a lot like Declan.
I mean, she’s his daughter, so it’s hardly surprising.
But seeing her in the flesh felt almost like seeing him again.
Your mum took after me – well, you already know that.
But this girl has Declan’s eyes, and his smile .
. . it’s incredible. She even laughs like him. ’
‘How old is she?’
‘I worked it out from the letters. Thirty-one.’
‘Three years older than me.’
‘Do you want to see photos of her?’
‘You took sneaky photos in the restaurant? Like a spy?’
‘I would have liked to,’ Disa admitted with a smile, ‘but I didn’t. She has a blog.’ Twisting round on her chair, she reached behind her for the iPad resting on the wide window ledge.
‘You didn’t really have a bad back this morning,’ Fen realised.
‘No.’
‘You could have asked me to go with you today.’
Disa gave her a fond look. ‘And if you hadn’t met your lovely man, I might have done. But I couldn’t do that to you, sweetheart. You wouldn’t have wanted me to drag you away from Leon again.’
Like you did this evening. Fen didn’t say it aloud, but Disa saw her raised eyebrows and the playful smile on her face.
‘I know, sorry about that, but I needed to tell you. I sent her an email earlier and she’s replied. Actually, you should read the emails first.’ Disa passed the iPad over to her so she could see.
Hi Molly,
It was so lovely to chat to you in the restaurant today – I came in with Jamie Hamilton at lunchtime and you very kindly helped me back to the ship when I hurt my ankle.
Time for me to come clean now. I wanted to meet you because we have someone in common. My name is Disa O’Toole, and my husband was Declan, your father. I’m sure this will come as a huge shock, but I promise I feel no ill will towards you.
I’m here in Venice with my granddaughter and would love it if we could meet up properly. There’s lots to talk about, and I will also bring some personal effects you and your mum might like to have. Whenever and wherever suits you, just let me know, and apologies for the subterfuge earlier!
Best,
Disa
Fen’s gaze switched to Molly’s reply, which had arrived twenty minutes ago and was shorter.
Oh, wow. I mean, WOW. This is wild. I was just telling one of my friends earlier about meeting you and Jamie Hamilton today, and how nice you both were – and now this!
But yes, it’d be great to meet up properly.
I’m free tomorrow morning if that’s convenient for you?
Let me know and I’ll think of a good place.
Gosh, I can’t concentrate at the moment, my mind’s in a whirl.
‘So it’s happening,’ said Disa. ‘Will you come with me tomorrow to meet her?’
‘Of course I will!’ Fen nodded vigorously. ‘And I would have gone with you to that restaurant today as well.’
‘I know. But it might actually have worked out better, having Jamie there. I think Molly was quite taken with him, which meant she spent more time chatting with us at our table. Anyway, now you know.’ Disa took back the iPad.
‘And if you want to find out more about her, her website is called “Molly in Venice”.’
An hour later, Fen was sitting up in her own bed with her laptop balanced on her knees, still reading Molly’s blog.
There had been too much going on in her head for her to return to the top deck and find Leon; this had obviously taken precedence.
She’d messaged him, though, and explained that tomorrow morning she’d be going out with Disa but hopefully they could meet up later in the day.
It didn’t seem right to blurt out all the details just yet, before they’d had their first proper meeting with Molly.
Luckily, Leon understood, as she’d known he would. He really was the best.
But it had been a long day and, compounded with the bombshell surprise, an exhausting one.
Eventually her eyelids had begun to droop, and by midnight she was fast asleep.