Chapter 33
For Fen, it hadn’t been the easiest evening to get through. The mood had been both upbeat and celebratory and a staggering amount of money had been raised, and if Leon had been here he would have loved every minute.
But he wasn’t here, and it was at times like this that the reality and permanence of the loss hit home like a wrecking ball in the chest. Everyone had worked so hard to make the event a success, but she was worn out with smiling and pretending to be fine when on the inside all she wanted was to be alone.
Luckily there was a solution at hand. Finding Molly with Andy in the kitchen, she confided, ‘I’m pretty tired, going to head home now. Will you be OK here?’
‘I’ll be fine. I have my key.’ Molly patted her pocket, then gave her a hug. ‘I’ll see you later.’
Unable to face the inevitable wider round of goodbyes with well-meaning people trying to persuade her to stay longer, Fen made her escape and slipped away down the stairs, letting herself out of the front door and onto the frosted street, sparkling silver beneath the glow cast by the street lamps.
Breathing in the icy night air, she decided to walk towards the centre of Clifton village, where Ubers would be circling.
It was always entertaining to be able to look in through the uncurtained windows of the ultra-desirable houses of Caledonia Place, lit up to reveal the lives of the people who lived in them, some happy and others maybe lonely . . .
Pausing, she heard the thin, plaintive wail of a sleepless baby in one upstairs bedroom, then the miaow of a black and white cat observing her with disdain as it stalked across the road in front of her. Fen gave it a disdainful look in return, then jumped as her phone suddenly rang in her bag.
‘Where are you?’ said Jamie. ‘I looked everywhere and you’d gone.’
‘You were busy talking to people.’ The tumult of feelings was as confusing as ever; try as she might, they weren’t going away.
‘Are you in a cab?’
‘I’m heading up to Regent Street, I’ll get one there.’
‘That’s stupid, you should have arranged for it to pick you up from here.’
‘Don’t make a fuss, I’ll be— WAAHH!’ Not paying attention to the road, Fen’s suede boot skidded on a heavy patch of frost, sending her crashing to the ground.
‘AARGH . . . noooo!’ The phone shot out of her hand and flew off to the right, disappearing from view.
She let out a howl of despair and scrambled to her feet, unhurt but desperate to find it.
If only she had her phone with her, she could seek it out with the help of its torch.
‘What are you doing?’ Sadie called out as Jamie raced down the stairs.
‘Something’s happened to Fen.’
‘What?’
He left the house, headed down the hill and swung into Caledonia Place, his gaze switching from the enclosed private gardens on the left to the five-storey terraced Georgian properties on the right, listening intently for signs of a person in distress.
The sound of Fen’s shriek of horror over the phone had been cut off as the connection had ended, sending chills down his spine.
He couldn’t hear anything, but she had to still be somewhere around here, surely.
Breaking into a run, he crossed diagonally over to the other side of the street as a taxi drove past, his pulse racing because it was the not knowing that was causing his brain to go into overdrive.
The next moment he saw them: two legs sticking out from under the side of a grey van.
‘Fen!’
One of the legs moved and his heart gave a gigantic thud of relief because she wasn’t dead. As he drew closer, he heard her give a muffled triumphant cry of ‘Got it!’ before wriggling backwards out from beneath the van like a caterpillar.
Not attacked. Thank God.
‘You gave me a fright.’ Jamie shook his head. ‘What happened?’
‘I slipped on a patch of frost and went flying. So did my phone. But I managed to find it. And look at that,’ she added, hastily scrambling to her feet before he could help her up. ‘Not even broken, hooray!’
‘I was worried, didn’t know what was going on.’
‘Sorry.’ Shivering from the cold, she took a step back. ‘I wasn’t looking where I was going.’
‘You shouldn’t have been out here on your own in the first place.’ He began walking alongside her. ‘You never know who might be around.’
‘True.’ Fen nodded in agreement. ‘Anyway, well done on tonight. You raised so much money. It was brilliant.’
‘I wanted to get it done before heading off to Australia.’ He paused. ‘Maybe we could meet up again before I go?’
She hesitated. ‘I’m pretty busy for the next few days.’
The mental backing-off was happening again; he could feel her withdrawing and longed to break through the barriers she was once more putting up. Touching her arm, he said, ‘Look, it doesn’t have to be like—’
‘Hey, wait for me,’ a voice called out behind them, and they both turned at the sound of high heels clattering along the pavement as Sadie caught up with them, swathed in her expensive new lilac suede coat.
Catching her breath, she said cheerfully, ‘Where are you two off to? Is this a secret assignation or can anyone join in?’
‘I fell over and couldn’t find my phone for a few minutes,’ Fen explained. ‘Jamie thought I was in trouble. But I’m fine, just getting a cab home. There’s usually a couple hanging around outside the restaurants in the village.’
‘Well, I’m glad you’re OK. I’ll walk with you,’ Sadie said cheerfully.
When they reached Princess Victoria Street, there was a cab waiting on the corner. Sadie gave Fen a hug, then Fen hopped into the back seat and gave Jamie a little wave. ‘Thanks for coming to find me. Have fun in Australia. Bye!’
It was now one in the morning, the raucous rugby players had finally departed and Clifton had fallen silent. Having left Jamie’s apartment an hour earlier, Molly and Andy had made their way to the hotel across the road for one more drink before calling it a night.
Which had inevitably turned into a couple more drinks and a lot more playful repartee out on the heated terrace with its front-row view of the lit-up bridge stretched across the Avon Gorge.
Molly was buzzing; and to think if she hadn’t been able to swap her shifts at La Lanterna, she’d have missed out on all this. Imagine . . .
But wasn’t it bizarre, the way perceptions could shift and change? To begin with, her views on Andy had been decidedly mixed, then there’d been a gradual realisation that he was growing on her . . . and now, less than four hours later, she was discovering just how much she liked him.
Like, really liked him.
And no, she wasn’t drunk, it was just that the progression from doubt and suspicion to full-on attraction felt almost magical. He lived in Thornbury, worked in the centre of Bristol, loved to drive, made her laugh and had changed her attitude to pale skin and freckles for ever.
‘We’re the last ones here,’ Andy observed. ‘I think the barman would probably be happy if we left now.’
When they reached the canopied front entrance of the hotel, he said, ‘Well, I mustn’t keep you any longer.
I’ll call you a cab to get you back to Fen’s.
Thank you for my date, it was awesome.’ He took out his phone.
‘And I’m going to say goodnight like an absolute gentleman because I know that’s the right thing to do. ’
Oh . . . ‘Is it?’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘Your grand plan, remember? To hold back, treat me mean and keep me keen? I’m going to be honest with you now. It’s working.’
Molly caught her breath. ‘Really?’
‘Extremely well.’ He gave her a wry nod, followed by an even more rueful smile, made all the more irresistible by those adorably pointed incisors. ‘When can I see you again?’
Er . . . hello? Maybe now?
‘I’m only here for the next three days.’
‘Tomorrow, then? Or the next day?’ Andy leaned closer and lowered his voice as the night porter walked past. ‘You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now. But no,’ he held up a hand, ‘I mustn’t. Not allowed. I know.’
For heaven’s sake, why had she ever started this ridiculous idea? It was all Hattie’s fault. ‘Maybe one kiss would be OK. Just a small one.’
He looked at her mouth. ‘This is killing me. And you’re not helping, saying something like that.’
Sod this for a game of soldiers. Molly pushed him up against the wall and leaned into him, her arms winding their way around his neck and her mouth finding his, giving him no time to protest. She felt his lips curve into a smile, then the thrilling sensation of his body pressing against hers while his tongue slid into her mouth.
Oh yes, he definitely knew how to kiss . . .
‘Wow,’ Andy murmured when they eventually came up for air. ‘And that was a small one? You are dangerous.’
She’d asked him earlier where he was spending the night, and he’d said, ‘Not far from here.’ Since she could hardly take him back to Fen’s flat, she said, ‘Where are you staying tonight?’
‘Why?’
‘Just . . . curious.’
‘Here.’
‘What?’ She stared at him. ‘Are you serious?’
In response, he took out his wallet, flipped it open and showed her the key card. Molly said, ‘Why didn’t you tell me before?’
The corners of his mouth twitched. ‘You might have thought I was trying to . . . I don’t know, seduce you.’
‘That would have been the best news ever.’
‘But you’d decided to play hard to get, remember.’
‘That was Hattie’s idea, not mine. I didn’t want to do it at all.’
‘You get better and better.’ He kissed her again.
‘Not that I sleep around,’ Molly added hastily. ‘It’s been ages since the last time. I’m actually really pernickety.’
‘I’m glad to hear that. Tell you what, why don’t you send Fen a message letting her know where you are? Tell her you’ll see her in the morning. Or the afternoon. Whenever.’
‘Good plan.’ She quickly did so and pressed send. Then Andy reached for her hand and led her back inside the hotel, across the marble-tiled reception area and into the lift.
When they reached his room, Molly sensed she was on the cusp of something important, possibly even life-changing. A quiver of anticipation ran down her spine.
‘I’ve just thought of something,’ she said as the door clicked open. ‘Leon met Fen because of me. And now I’ve met you because of Leon.’
‘Maybe he planned it this way. I wouldn’t put it past him. Either way, if he’s watching us now, I’m sure he’ll take all the credit.’
The hotel room door closed with a discreet clunk behind them and the low-level lighting flickered on. Molly pulled a face. ‘I really hope he isn’t watching us now.’
‘Good point. Leon?’ Andy addressed the room in general. ‘Well done, mate, good job, but if you could leave us alone for a bit, maybe go and spy on some other friends, that’d be appreciated. I think we can manage without you from here on.’
*
‘You OK?’ Guy briefly rested his hand on hers as they drove through the night back to Oxford.
Hattie nodded. ‘Yes. Bit tired, that’s all.’ Since she had to be at work first thing in the morning, they hadn’t been able to stay the night in Bristol despite Disa’s offer to put them up. She glanced across at him. ‘Thanks for driving tonight.’
‘No problem. Why don’t you try and get some sleep now? I promise not to sing.’
Hattie smiled; when he was like this, it was hard to maintain her upper-hand stance.
Guy might still believe she had it, but even as she’d been telling Molly about it earlier, she’d known she wasn’t being entirely truthful.
As time went by, her attraction to Guy was becoming increasingly serious, which was a nice way to feel but also scary, because what if she let down her guard and it ended up going wrong again?
Then again, what if it didn’t? What if, by continuing to doubt him when he promised her he’d changed, she was actually missing out?
‘You can sing if you want to.’ He had a good voice, had been the lead vocalist in a band back when they’d first met.
A fortnight ago he’d been approached to join another well-regarded band specialising in weddings, but had turned down the offer.
Sleepily, feeling her eyes begin to close now, Hattie said, ‘Why did you say no to those people who wanted you in their band?’
Guy overtook a couple of articulated lorries as they continued to make their way smoothly up the darkened motorway. ‘Because it would mean travelling to gigs most weekends. And I don’t want to do that.’ He waited a moment, then said simply, ‘I’d rather spend my time with you.’