11. Graham
CHAPTER ELEVEN
graham
I’m gonna need an entire journal for tonight’s entry.
Despite being way out of my comfort zone, I’m not uncomfortable.
I’m just losing my mind.
This is not the plan Booth and I laid out. Things have escalated way out of my control. She’s living with me . How am I supposed to control my thoughts, words, and actions around her? With just a smile she unknowingly has the ability to turn my life upside down. It’s such a bad, bad idea letting her stay here when the crush I have doubles in size with each second I spend with her.
The next week is going to be the best type of torture.
I’ve never met someone who speaks so openly—with no filter or shame. It’s refreshing. She’s left me speechless on a number of occasions, and I’m guessing there are only more unfiltered observations to come.
I still can’t believe she agreed to this whole thing, and sure, she’s gaining something from it, too, but I suspect it wasn’t easy for her to accept my help.
When she stepped into my apartment, I felt cracked open like an oyster and left out on the shore for all the world to see. Only my family has visited, and it killed me not to know how it looked through her eyes.
I didn’t have much time, but I tried my best to make her room look as inviting as possible, even if it is only for a week. She’d thanked me plenty on the ride over here, I just hadn’t expected her to hug me. Twice in one day I’ve had Quinn in my arms. I just wish she hadn’t made that comment about her body. I could tell it wasn’t the first time, as if she thought someone was going to make it first.
So many responses had zoomed in and out of my brain. Not a single one seemed like the right thing to say in the moment, and I hated that I wasn’t able to give her the words of reassurance I was so desperate for her to hear.
I stood outside the door to her room for a few minutes, frozen in place. Determined to not let our conversation end with her having any self-doubt or not knowing what I thought about her.
But for what it’s worth, I think you’re fucking perfect.
So fucking perfect.
I’d give anything to trace my lips along every dip and curve of her soft skin. To have those thick thighs wrapped around my waist. Or head. I could die happy, if I knew what those full breasts felt like in my hands. Everything about her has me infatuated. It’s only made better that she’s like my walking fantasy, with a beautiful body I want to sink my fingers and teeth into.
Fuck me .
I press down on the growing bulge in my pants, so I don’t have a boner when I talk to my brother. I’ve already called the Thai restaurant in Jacob’s Bluff to place our order, and now I’m waiting for Booth to answer my call. The longer the ringing echoes through my phone, the more antsy I get.
“ What’s up?” he finally answers.
“ She’s here,” I hiss, cupping my hand around the phone so Quinn doesn’t hear.
“ Umm …who is?”
“ Quinn .”
“ Where ?”
“ In my apartment.” I swipe a hand across the room like he can see me as I march back and forth along the tiled floor. “ She just moved in.”
The howling laughter from down the line has me wincing. It takes him a few deep breaths to stop the wheezing until he’s able to form a full sentence, and even then, he’s still chuckling. “ Christ , Gray . I said fake date her, not move her in, propose, and start a family. How did this happen?”
“ She needed somewhere to stay for a while. Plus , I felt it was the least I could do considering she’s helping me out.” I ignore the pang of excitement I get when I hear him mention propose and family when talking about Quinn and me.
“ Is she staying with you until the wedding?”
“ No . Her van needs repairs. I think she’ll be here for a week max.”
“ Hmm . Well , if this doesn’t make it believable, I don’t know what will. Are you going to bring her to Mom’s on Thursday ? It’s the only evening Patrick , Johanna , and I can get time off from the restaurant for a while. Might be a good way to ease Mom into it.”
“ I’m telling her it’s fake.”
“ Nooo . Don’t do that,” he groans.
“ Why not?” I’m bound to wear a hole in the floor, I’m pacing so much.
“ She’s coming out of her obsessive phase with Pat and Jo finally being together and now she’s sniffing around me. If you have a girlfriend, she’ll get off my back for a while. Please .”
“ Or you could find yourself a girlfriend and bring her to dinner.”
“ Just do it. I’ll walk Curly for a month.”
My eyes roll so hard. “ No , I like walking him. You can follow us around with a pooper scooper.”
“ Deal .”
“ Now what the fuck do I do? She’s here and she’s agreed to go along with this ridiculous plan, but what do I do next?”
“ Hang on, let me get the texts up from Florence .” The line is silent for a moment and Booth hums to himself as he searches through the advice from our little sister.
I’ve been avoiding texts from Florence all week since Booth told her about this plan. It’s a good thing she’s backpacking around Central America right now, or I would never hear the end of it from her. Her last chain of texts went a little something like this:
Florence: If this works, do I get to officiate your wedding?
Florence: On the flight to Costa Rica I read this cute small-town romance, and I couldn’t stop laughing. This is your life now.
Florence: It’s a shame you have a two-bed apartment…people go wild for a one bed trope.
Florence: She sounds like a cutie. Anyone is an upgrade from that reptile.
Safe to say Florence wasn’t a fan of Jenna’s either.
“ Ah -ha.” My brother breaks the silence. “ So you need to set some boundaries. Like , will you kiss or hold hands in public? Apparently , one of you needs to tell the other that ‘you have to promise not to fall in love with me,’ but… I fear that’s too late for you.”
“ Shut up or I’ll remove the pooper scooper and you can pick up Curly’s sh—oh, hey!” I shout in panic when I see Quinn standing at the edge of the kitchen. Turning away, I bend my head and whisper into the phone. “ Forward me those texts. Goodbye .”
After hanging up, I slam my phone down on the countertop and spin around to face her. She’s in a pair of pink sweats, a white T -shirt tied at the waist, and yellow fuzzy socks. Her hair is split in two and braided back from her face. She looks fresh, cozy, and delicious.
“ Sorry , I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She looks around the space with a slightly apprehensive expression. It’s my responsibility to make her feel at home, but how the fuck do I do that? Oh , here you go, Quinn , want to do a crossword with me until you die of boredom? No . I didn’t think this through. She’s going to regret taking up my offer in less than twenty-four hours when she realizes I’m not only boring and dull but can’t string a coherent sentence together to save my life.
“ Umm . Did you get settled in your room okay?” I ask.
“ Yes , thank you. It’s a really nice place you’ve got here.”
“ Thanks .”
We stand there, her rocking on the balls of her feet and me trying my best not to spontaneously combust. It’s obvious neither of us are sure how to navigate these next steps. There’s no manual for our situationship, but considering it’s my idea, I need to be the one to take the lead.
The buzzer sounds and I excuse myself, running down the stairs to collect the food. When I return, I find Quinn balancing on her tiptoes, reaching for the bowls on the top shelf. The movement causes her T -shirt to ride up, revealing the tiniest sliver of skin that shouldn’t make me hard as stone.
“ Let me.” I rush over and set down the bag of food on the counter.
She’s trying her best, huffing and puffing, but her fingertips barely reach the middle shelf. Stepping up behind her, I pull two bowls down with ease, not really thinking about our positioning until the front of my pants brushes against the small of her back. When she drops down from her tiptoes and grazes against my now-hardening dick, the sensation stalls the breath in my throat.
She stills when my hand drops to her shoulder, pausing her movements but also desperate to pull back the braid and press my lips to her pulse point, just to test if it races as wildly as mine. I might be mistaken, but I swear she pushes her hips back, pressing into me, both of us hissing when she finds the evidence of what she does to me. Her breathing turns into short pants.
What I wouldn’t do to feel them being exhaled against my skin.
There was an electric current running through me earlier when we hugged. Now , a high-voltage wire wraps itself around me, dangerously close to touching the pool of desire sitting between us. I know the second it makes contact, electricity will flash, scorch, and burn.
It would be incredible.
Only , I’d be left burned at the end. Reeling from the aftermath of knowing what it would be like to have her only temporarily.
My hand flexes before reluctantly pulling away to plate the food up and grab us both some drinks.
The confused and dazed look in her eyes as we settle on the sofa across from each other has nothing to do with what happened in the kitchen. It can’t be.
We sit on opposite ends of the sofa, splitting pad Thai , green curry, mini shrimp lettuce wraps, and dumplings. I could have sat in the armchair and played it safe; not allowed myself to be overcome by her intoxicating scent.
I’m glad I was a risk taker tonight.
We eat in silence, sharing brief looks in between bites. I don’t watch TV often, it’s more decorative than anything, and I panicked whether I should have put it on as we eat, but she seems content without it.
I could ask her how her day went.
Maybe I should ask her what recipes she’s thinking of trying out next.
Check with her about what foods she likes.
I spend so much time overthinking what to say to her, that by the time we’ve finished eating, the moment has passed. She looks exhausted and is probably sore after sleeping on the hard floor of the bakery last night. We need to discuss what to do about convincing people we’re an item, but that can wait until tomorrow.
You’d think I was the guest in this apartment with my rigid posture; spine flush against the sofa, shoulders back, and feet firmly planted on the ground. Whereas Quinn sits cross-legged, with Curly snoring at her feet. “ You’ve probably had a long day. Tomorrow , after work, we should talk about how this is going to go.”
“ Ah , yes. I almost forgot why I was here.” She smirks.
“ I’ve never done this before, have you?” I wince. “ Fuck , that’s a dumb question, of course you haven’t.”
It sucks that the probability of being hit by a meteor is 1:840,000,000.
“ How about we start with who knows this isn’t real?”she asks and strokes Curly’s ears.
“ Patrick , Johanna , and Booth . Oh , and my sister, Florence .”
“ Cool , so basically your entire family. Are you telling your mom?”
My eyes clamp shut with a groan. “ I promised Booth I wouldn’t. It’s a long story, but if you’re not okay with that, I understand. Speaking of my mom, she’s having family dinner this Thursday …” I grimace, but she seems to fill in the blanks.
“ I’d love to come for dinner. Tell her I’ll bake a cake.” Quinn visibly gets excited as she straightens in her seat with bright eyes. Curly growls at the disturbance but when he sees it’s her, he nuzzles in closer.
Leaning over, I scratch the top of his head. “ He’s really taken to you.” Which makes two of us.
“ He’s a cutie pie. Did you and Jenna get him together?” There’s a bite to her tone when she says my ex’s name.
“ No , after we broke up. He was found abandoned in the county over; no tags or anyone looking for him. I was watching Lottie one Saturday , and after a brief conversation about puppies, we found ourselves driving to the shelter to adopt him.”
She shakes her head, smiling. “ That little girl is going to rule the world. I’m both scared and impressed with her ability to influence people.”
Chuckling , I nod my head. “ Yeah , she’s a force to be reckoned with.”
She opens her mouth to speak, but it’s replaced with a yawn, telling me that the evening is coming to an end. I just have one thing to say first.
“ I want to look over your books for free. A full analysis and report.”
“ Graham , no, I can’t le?—”
My hand drops to her ankle, stopping her. “ You will let me do it. You probably don’t realize it, but you helping me is so much more than showing Jenna I’m over her. You staying here isn’t a favor I need you to repay, or anything to do with this arrangement. I’m happy to give you somewhere to stay for however long you need. You’re Jo’s friend, and she’ll have my balls for this, but she told me how much you were there for her when she returned to town. She wants to help the only way she knows how. So for Jo , let me help you.”
As much as I love seeing her determined streak, I really hope she doesn’t fight me on this.
She fiddles with the hem of her T -shirt, chewing on her lip before mumbling, “ Only if you’re sure. I don’t want to pull you away from your other clients or business with the restaurant. Just the bare minimum. I guess the rest we can figure out along the way.” Her hand drops to where mine is still enclosed around her ankle and there’s a softness to her voice now. “ I know this isn’t what we had planned, but I appreciate you and I’m glad we can help each other out.”
I’m so tempted to squeeze her hand, but instead, I offer her a smile. “ Me too.”
Breaking our connection, she stands, reaching toward the ceiling, and giving me her back. I divert my gaze when the movement stretches her pants across her delectable ass.
We collect the plates and load them in the dishwasher; such a simple task made less mundane where she’s involved. I walk her to her room, immediately shaking my head at how ridiculous the notion is. She’s not going to get lost from the kitchen to her bed.
“ I’ll let you get some sleep. I’m across the hall if you need me.” The second she opens the door, Curly trots in like he owns the place. “ Hey , no, come here.” I snap my fingers, but the little shit ignores me and hops up onto the bed.
“ Looks like I have a sleeping buddy tonight.” She laughs as he snuggles into her pillow.
“ Lucky him,” I grumble under my breath.
I’m so distracted by my traitorous dog, that I don’t have time to prepare for what comes next. Quinn shuffles closer, balances on the tips of her toes, and places the softest of kisses against the scruff on my jaw. Heat blooms from where her lips touched me, spreading quickly across my body like a forest fire.
“ I’ll look after your wiener,” the little minx teases, mischief flaring in her eyes.
With a soft smile, she pads into the room and shuts the door behind her just as I whisper, “ Goodnight , honey. ”
After that whisper of a kiss, I know sleep isn’t going to find me anytime soon.
I settle behind my desk, pull out the worn journal, and let my thoughts spill out onto the pages, feeling the weight lift with each doubt and worry. Only , today there are a lot more happy and funny moments to document.
There’s so much I wish I’d asked her. Either way, it was one of the best evenings I’ve had in a long time.
Just like I thought, I burn through almost seven pages in my journal, filling them with my thoughts about today’s antics. I read them back, surprised at how cheerful the last few paragraphs are.
There’s no going back now. I can be mad at Booth all I want, but I’m the one who invited her into my home. I’m a sadistic motherfucker, clearly.
I haven’t got the first clue of how to date a woman like Quinn , let alone fake it. Would she want to go out to dinner at my family’s restaurant? I think I’d really like to see her there, sitting across from me, wearing something pretty.
Maybe I should get her a stool to reach the top shelves in my kitchen? I like helping her.
She’s mentioned going out to see the leaves change a couple of times now, and I can’t stop imagining what she’d look like with the fall colors as her backdrop .
I think she’d like that.
She really likes the flowers, so at least I’m doing one thing right so far.
My lips twitch as I recall the sparkle in her eyes when I brought her that first bouquet. I’d wanted to melt right into those liquid-gold orbs.
But like a swift kick in the chest, bitter reality sets in.
This has an end date.
It would be stupid of me to get attached—more than I already have.
I slam my journal shut and lock it away in my desk, along with my stupid, na?ve heart that keeps tempting me out of my comfort zone and into danger.
This desire I have with Quinn is high risk and unpredictable.
She might be tiny, but she sure as hell has the ability to bulldoze me to the ground, and I know I’d never recover from a wreck like that.