Chapter 7
AMBER
Amber lay back on top of her duvet and exhaled like a racehorse that had just crossed the finish line.
That is, if the racehorse was a bit out of practice, a tad out of shape, and worried that her boobs were sliding into her armpits and may never be seen again.
She was quite accepting of the changes that two children and two rounds of breastfeeding had made to her body, but this whole thing with Ray was still very new and she was trying to give off sexy and confident vibes, as opposed to ‘tuck my boobs in my waistband’ vibes.
Hopefully he’d be distracted enough by her unshaven, Velcro-like legs to notice any of her other flaws.
‘That was incredible,’ he murmured, running a finger up and down her bare stomach.
Okay, so either he’d enjoyed it, or he was a great actor, and for the sake of her fragile first-shag-since-divorce confidence, she was going to choose to believe him.
Although, she did wonder how long it would be before he had to go pee, because she wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold her stomach in without causing muscle spasms.
‘It was,’ she agreed, trying to nonchalantly pull the duvet out from under her body, so that she could flip it over her torso and release the abs.
Instead, she somehow managed to get it wrapped around one leg, so now she resembled a snail, halfway emerged from a shell and confused as to where to go from here.
Not that she regretted a single second of what had just happened, but it was just a bit of a culture shock, after being with no one else other than Ewan for the last ten years. Or, to be more accurate, Ewan for eight years and then a no-sex zone for the last two years since the divorce.
Against her conscious will, the mischievous part of her brain decided to compare the two.
Sex with Ewan had been amazing at the start.
Slightly less amazing but still highly enjoyable after they were settled into their relationship.
And then, a tad more habitual, but still worth doing, after the kids had come along.
Although, apparently, he didn’t feel the same, because somewhere along the line he’d decided to turn his attention elsewhere.
Her revulsion at that thought snapped her right back to the present.
Ewan’s affair had already taken up way too much time in her head and she never wanted to think about it again.
But back to the moment. Sex with Ray had been…
different. Exciting. Energetic. And, if she were honest, a bit intimidating.
Ewan hadn’t been a big talker, and Ray had insisted on telling her every single thing he was about to do to her and how everything was making him feel.
There were a couple of points when she wasn’t sure if he was making love, or reading out the warning page from the instruction manual for the air fryer.
Oh that’s hot. So hot. You’re turning me on.
Press right there. That’s it. Right there.
He absolutely knew his way around her body though – no surprise given his medical background and the fact that he’d been doing this a lot longer than anyone else she’d ever slept with.
At first, she’d wondered if the twenty-odd-year age gap would be an issue, but she’d decided to be open-minded for three reasons: he was a doctor and, weirdly, that was sexy to her; it was the first time a customer in her shop had ever asked her out; and even in his smart suit, she could see his wide shoulders, chunky biceps and would have bet her last orchid that under that shirt there was a six-pack.
Looking at his naked abs, she confirmed that she’d been right.
Now that she’d satisfied that curiosity, her next question was, what did they do now? After sex with Ewan, she’d either fall asleep, put earphones in and watch Real Housewives of Anywhere on her laptop, or, if he was snoring, she’d go downstairs, make a cuppa and call Estelle for a blether.
If circumstances were different, she’d definitely be in the bathroom, with the tap running, so that Ray couldn’t hear her on the phone to Estelle right now, giving her a blow-by-blow account of what had just happened.
And yes, they would have had a pre-planned code word prepared in case Estelle had to come and rescue her because Ray was a weirdo, a disappointment, or he’d already given her the ick.
Sometimes she wondered whether she missed Ewan or Estelle more. The two most important people in her life, gone at the same time. Amber still wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to put her heart back together after that.
‘You’re deep in thought,’ Ray commented, still tracing her clenched stomach.
Oh crap – that was worryingly close to ‘what are you thinking?’ and she was fairly sure that replying honestly with ‘I was just pondering the loss of my husband and best friend’ might be a bit of a passion killer.
‘Sorry, I just… I was thinking I haven’t had a morning like this in a long time.
’ It was close enough. ‘And I was wondering what we do now?’ She’d tried to deliver that with coy, teasing flirtatiousness, but she was pretty sure she missed the mark and just came off as clueless. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to mind.
‘Well, I was thinking…’ He pushed himself up on one elbow and then leaned over and kissed her, slowly, passionately.
She hadn’t been deprived of oxygen for that long since she tried to get the hang of scuba diving on a holiday to Fuengirola in 2016.
He then moved above her and left no doubt as to exactly what he thought they should do next.
Bloody hell. And was it wrong that her first thought was to wonder if he’d popped a Viagra when he pulled up outside in his flash car?
She hadn’t had sex twice in quick succession since… since… maybe ever.
Still, she happily went along with it, because, if nothing else, she could distract him long enough for her to unclench her stomach and buttocks, then re-clench when they were back in his eyeline.
Viagra or not, she appreciated both the stamina and the second run through the instructions for the air fryer. She was now fairly certain she could rustle up chicken nuggets without checking the settings. Push there. Pull like that. Turn over. Nearly there. Almost ready. Yeah, that’s hot.
And it was. She was having a perfectly lovely time. She just wasn’t sure that it was… fulfilling. Deep. Comfortable. Or even fun. It all seemed a bit sterile and he hadn’t seemed to notice or care that she hadn’t got to the orgasmic bit on either attempt.
Maybe she was doing it wrong, given that she didn’t have his wealth of experience or his variety of partners.
On their first date, a couple of months before, they’d covered all the factual stuff.
She’d shared her relationship history – a few boyfriends, then marriage at twenty-three, which seemed so young now, but back then she’d thought she knew everything.
Ray, on the other hand, had been married twice, had several long-term relationships in between, and she was under no illusion that he’d been active on the dating scene, based on the flower orders he’d placed with her alone.
When they concluded – ding ding – round two, she’d learned her lesson from the first spin round the block, so this time, she made sure to flip up the edge of the duvet so it was in the right position to pull over her mum tum.
She told herself this would pass after they got more familiar with each other.
In a couple of months, she was sure she’d be wandering around naked, with absolutely no trace of self-consciousness.
Wait, did that mean she thought they’d still be together in a couple of months?
She’d told him right at the start that casual sex wasn’t her thing, so over the last two months, they’d got to know each other over a few lazy brunches when Ewan had the kids.
Then there had been at least one dinner every week.
And daily FaceTimes. And so many texts she was almost late getting a ‘congratulations on your triplets’ bouquet with three balloons to a woman on the baby ward at Glasgow Central last week and, let’s face it, if anyone deserved a bunch of winter blooms, it was a woman who’d just pushed three humans from her body.
Anyway, all the romantic foreplay had clearly won Amber over, because when he’d asked her if she would consider dating him exclusively and taking their relationship to the next level, she’d heard herself agreeing.
Twenty-four hours later, here they were – naked and definitely next level.
Ray interrupted her thoughts with kisses this time, then pushed himself up on one arm again. It was clearly his party trick. ‘I’m going to go grab a shower. Care to join me?’
She was about to refuse when the little voice in her head that was frustrated with her lack of oomph and adventure these days spoke up and told her to shift her naked arse and give it a try.
Live on the wild side. Make the most of this sexy adventure.
Embrace new experiences. Clearly, a double shag in the daytime hadn’t been enough to shut the voice up.
But it had a point. She’d never showered with anyone.
Not once. In their early years together, she and Ewan had lived in a flat, where the shower was barely big enough for one of them.
When she was pregnant, they’d both found it hilarious that the only workable shower solution was for him to hose her down in the bath.
After that, the kids came and… well, showering became one of the only precious times that she could play music and spend ten minutes uninterrupted by a small child demanding food, water, play or cuddles.
‘Sure,’ she heard the adventurous little voice in her head answer for her.