Chapter 25
BERNADETTE
Bernadette rushed along the icy road, the wind biting her ears as she went.
There had been no point bringing the car, because the cafe they met in every year on this date was just along the road from the hospital and it was just as quick to walk.
Although, she hadn’t factored in the possibility of hypothermia, which was getting more likely by the second.
When she burst into Carlo’s Cafe, she spotted Lady Clara Kelaney and Diana Atkins, already at a table for six in the corner, the same one they reserved every year, although this year their number was sorely diminished.
The twenty-first of February. Inspired by her ex-husband’s infidelities and Danielle’s throwaway comment about the one day a week that she ate chips, it had been solemnly nicknamed Cheat Day on that first night they met in the St Kentigern Hotel, and commemorated every year until now.
It had been a wonderful adventure, a true feat of forgiveness and sisterhood and Bernadette had been grateful for the love, the mutual support and the laughs.
It was also a strictly no-judgement zone because they were well aware that there had been nuggets of fault in them all.
Danielle had no idea he was married at first but had continued to see him after she discovered the truth because she’d stupidly fallen for the “we lead separate lives” lie.
Annabel should have known but had been too swept away to do her due diligence – especially as she’d shagged him in a hotel room at Gleneagles two hours after meeting him at a gala ball.
Diana had of course known that Kenneth was married, yet she’d fallen for his persuasive charms. In fact, she’d also been married to Murray at the time, and her interlude with Kenneth had been a revenge fling because she’d found out Murray was shagging his mixed doubles partner at their tennis club.
Meanwhile, Bernadette had been aware of them all and done nothing to warn them.
And as for Clara Kelaney and Marge – given their connection, they more than qualified to have a seat at the Cheat Day table too.
‘Bernadette!’ Diana was the first to jump up and greet her with a tight squeeze.
She’d never married again after her divorce from Murray, and his subsequent remarriage to Lila had devastated her.
Every year, she’d regaled them with rumours that Murray and Lila were on the rocks, and Bernadette had realised somewhere along the line that it was wishful thinking.
Perhaps today’s antics, however, would suggest that she was right.
Not that Bernadette could share a single word about that – much as she adored Diana, she was far too professional to break patient confidentiality.
‘Hello, my love,’ Bernadette gushed as she returned the hug, truly delighted to see her.
When she released her, Clara was already on her feet and next in line for a hug.
Bernadette wrapped her arms around Clara’s cashmere-clad shoulders. ‘Hello, lovely. Ah, it’s great to see you. Although, I’m going to stop hanging out with you if you continue to age backwards.’
‘Facelift,’ Clara whispered. ‘A marvellous French doctor. It was a treat to myself.’
That made Bernadette chuckle. ‘My last treat to myself was a pack of three white chocolate Magnums from Asda. I think we have different worlds and different definitions of a treat, Clara.’
They were still laughing when Bernadette shrugged off her coat and pulled out a chair. Before they could get chatting, the waiter arrived to take their order.
‘I’ll have a coffee, please,’ Bernadette said, noticing the other two had already chosen wine. Usually she’d be on the vino bus too, but tonight wasn’t a night for drinking. Tonight was for carrying out the wishes of an old friend.
‘Where is everyone else?’ Clara asked. ‘Are they all running late? That weather out there is terrible. I saw on the news that there had been loads of accidents on the roads. Have they been delayed?’
‘Ah, the problem wasn’t the roads, but we have had some call-offs.
’ Bernadette sat back to let the waiter slide a mug of coffee onto the table, and she folded her hands around it to help them defrost. ‘I’ve had texts from both Annabel and Danielle to say they wouldn’t make it.
Annabel has been held up at work and Danielle has been held up by a gorgeous man in Turks and Caicos, apparently. She says it’s bliss.’
‘Urgh, that cow always gets swept away on fancy holidays.’ Diana rolled her eyes. ‘It’s those legs of hers. A man just sees them and immediately books a first-class trip to the Caribbean. It’s like some kind of hypnosis. Or witchcraft.’
Bernadette had quickly learned that Diana’s dry, wry bitchiness was all part of her endearing charm. If Danielle were here, she’d take no offence whatsoever and find it hilarious.
Bernadette nodded solemnly. ‘Blackpool. That’s the last place Jack took me. What does that say about my legs?’
‘Could probably do with a razor,’ Diana fired back, making Bernadette crease.
‘You’re not wrong.’
Clara was still smiling, but not too widely due to the recent facelift, when she said, ‘And what about Marge? Is she on her way?’
Bernadette had to summon all her acting skills, garnered over decades of putting people at ease, delivering reassurance and masking worst-case scenarios, to deliver a half-truth.
Marge had been very clear that she didn’t want the full reality of her situation to be shared, because she didn’t want visitors. Except one. But that was for later.
‘Ladies, I’m sorry to say Marge won’t be joining us. She had surgery a few weeks ago and is still in hospital. But she sends her love, and she says she’ll see you all next year.’
‘Oh no! Can we ask what her surgery is for? Is it serious?’ Clara asked.
‘Lung cancer,’ Bernadette conceded, to gasps from them both. ‘But she’s hopeful that the treatment has worked, so we just have to stay positive.’
Fudging the truth didn’t come easy to her. God knows, this group had suffered enough lies and duplicity, but she had to respect Marge’s wishes.
‘Please give her our love. Oh, poor Estelle, she must be devastated about her mum. I’ll get the details of Marge’s ward off you so that I can send flowers or visit if she’s up to it.’
Bernadette saw that Clara’s brow was knitted with concern, and she understood. Since that first night, Marge and Clara had formed a particularly special bond.
‘Yes, me too!’ Diana chirped in, before her phone buzzed and distracted her. She checked the screen and then made a ‘one minute’ gesture and got up from the table.
Bernadette took the moment to speak to Clara.
‘Clara, can we have a quick chat later, just the two of us? Marge asked me to pass on a message…’
There were some things that both women knew didn’t need an explanation.
‘Of course. Maybe you could walk with me to my car when we’re leaving?’
‘Good idea,’ Bernadette agreed gratefully.
‘Oh bugger, bugger, bugger…’ Diana blurted, all wide-eyed and amped up as she came back to the table. ‘You’re never going to believe this – that was Murray on the phone.’
Bernadette felt a sudden desire to put her head on the table. Of course it was Murray. That bloody man had been the bane of her life today. She never wanted to hear his name again.
‘You’ll never guess where he is.’
Bernadette could definitely guess, but she didn’t. Bloody Hippocratic Oath.
‘Jail?’ was Clara’s first suggestion.
Diana clearly shared Bernadette’s surprise. ‘Clara!’ Diana chided. ‘The man is an eminent surgeon and a highly regarded pillar of the community. Why would you say that?’
The most regal lady of them all had the perfect answer. ‘Because I’ve met him.’
Diana couldn’t even feign outrage. ‘You know, for a posh bird, you’re pretty funny.’
‘I’ve heard that said,’ Clara shrugged, a twinkle in her eye.
If Diana noticed that Bernadette hadn’t joined the game, she didn’t say, as she motored on. ‘He’s along in Glasgow Central. Apparently he slipped in the shower this morning…’
Bernadette noticed the sketchy details didn’t specify whose shower it was.
‘And banged his head. They’ve run lots of tests and he has a suspected concussion. They want him to stay in overnight, but he’s discharged himself…’
Bernadette had a horrible feeling she knew what was about to come.
‘And him and that tart he married have had a huge fight. Apparently, she wasn’t sympathetic at all. I mean, what kind of woman is that?’
Yep, it was definitely coming.
‘And she’s buggered off and left him there. How could she walk away and leave a sick man? That’s barbaric. She never loved him, you know. Not like I did.’
Still coming.
‘Anyway, I’m so sorry, ladies, but when I told him I was nearby, he begged me to go and collect him and I can’t say no.’
And there it was. Murray bloody Atkins. Narcissist. Liar.
Cheat. Manipulative twat. And so menacingly good at playing the game, that he could still get his ex-wife back on the hook with just one phone call.
The familiarity of it triggered something deep in Bernadette’s soul and made her shudder.
She’d only left Kenneth once, and she’d never gone back, but she’d given in to him time and time and time again, trusted his promises, believed his denials, gone running when he snapped his fingers – at least at first. Bernadette desperately wanted to warn her, to tell her exactly what had happened to him, but again, bit her tongue because Murray would have her nursing registration cancelled before she could say ‘cheating git’ if he ever found out that she’d shared his personal information.
Besides, Diana knew exactly what he was like, and yet she was still going – Bernadette doubted that there was anything she could say that would stop her.
Diana picked up her jacket and her bag, then leaned over and hugged them both in turn. ‘Let’s get together again when we’re all free. Maybe next month?’
‘Maybe,’ Bernadette agreed, knowing that it wouldn’t happen.
There wasn’t going to be another time when the whole group could meet again, because Marge couldn’t be there again.
The thought caught her off guard and she had to make a real effort to keep the emotion out of her voice as she said goodbye to Diana.
‘You take care, lovely. And remember you know where to find me if you need me.’
‘I have a feeling that’ll be sooner rather than later,’ Clara said under her breath, as they both waved Diana farewell.
‘She’ll learn,’ Bernadette said simply. ‘It took me over thirty years to snap and escape Kenneth’s hold. She’s still got time.’
‘I hope so.’ Clara lifted her wine glass and they were both immediately aware of a shift in energy. ‘So this makes it easier for us to chat. Tell me about Marge.’
‘She’s being moved to palliative care tomorrow, Clara.’
Bernadette watched Clara’s eyes widen as she whispered, ‘Oh no. Poor Marge.’
‘And she asked me to speak to you, because she is going to tell Estelle the truth about her father. I’m sorry, Clara. She feels it’s the right thing to do. As do I.’
Clara barely hesitated. ‘Of course it is. I completely understand. If this were my girls…’ She let the words drift off. Clara and Sir Lester had three daughters, all of a very similar age to Estelle, so Bernadette knew she understood Marge’s angst.
‘And I know it’s a big ask, Clara, but Marge would like you to come to the hospital and be there when she tells her. She said she completely understands if you don’t feel you can. And she said not to feel pressure at all, but—’
‘I’ll do it.’
‘You will?’
‘Yes.’
Bernadette felt an urgent sense of panic that she’d somehow forced Clara to do something that could have huge consequences for her life. ‘Look, take your time and think about it.’
‘I don’t need to, Bernadette.’
‘And you don’t want to speak to Sir Lester?’
That suggestion got a reaction, but it wasn’t the one Bernadette had expected. Clara was a quiet, thoughtful woman. Someone who thought things through and made measured decisions. All part of being in the public eye, Bernadette supposed.
‘No, I do not. At least, not beforehand. I think it would be best for me to speak to Marge first, possibly Estelle too. I’ll not have him forbid me to do it. All those years ago, he made decisions regarding our family without consulting me. I absolutely have the right to do the same.’
As quiet and thoughtful as she was, Bernadette suspected Clara had a core of steel.
‘Okay, that’s settled then. Marge will be so relieved. Thank you, Clara. When do you think you’ll be able to make it up to see her? Would tomorrow be too soon?’
Clara thought about that for a moment, before, ‘Can I go speak to Marge tonight? I’m already out, and the hospital is five minutes away. And, to be honest, if I don’t do it now, I don’t know that I’ll still have the courage tomorrow.’
It took Bernadette a moment to process that idea.
She checked her watch: 8.45 p.m. Visiting finished at 9 p.m., but Marge was in a private room, and at this stage in her illness, the staff were as flexible as possible.
Many times, Bernadette had allowed family members to stay overnight on chairs or roll-up beds because they didn’t want to miss a single moment with the person they loved.
Besides, it was Keli Clark who was on duty tonight, and she had a heart of gold.
‘I think we can. Grab your jacket and let’s go, Clara. Cheat Day is officially adjourned.’