Chapter 24
Clara
Why was he still in town?
His bags had been packed and sitting by the front door.
He'd said he was leaving.
That it had always been his plan. But now he was here with his sister who seemed sweet and open, the opposite of her older brother.
How could they be so different?
He'd sent me a picture of a Christmas tree farm. I hadn't even known how to respond. What did it mean? What was he trying to tell me?
I was so confused that my head was starting to ache. It was bad enough that this was the busiest time of the year. But I'd been effectively dumped one day, saying he was always going to leave, and the next, the same man was standing in front of me talking about decorating a tree for the holidays.
I carefully wrapped each of their ornaments as they continued to walk around the space. Gina seemed to be taking the lead. She'd occasionally touch his arm and point at something she liked.
Why would he plan to leave if his sister was coming to visit? If he avoided the holidays, why would he need to decorate the cabin? I wouldn't even consider the fact that he was staying. He was very clear that he always planned to move on.
I didn't ever want to feel like I had last night, as if I'd been alone in this relationship. That despite my best intentions, I had fallen for him. Like he was standing on a cliff watching me fall. The fact that he'd told me what to expect didn't lessen the fall.
When I hit the bottom, I was alone. I almost wished he'd left. Then I wouldn't be forced to watch him with his sister. He responded to her observations, even smiling at times. It was so different from how he was when I first met him.
Maybe he let his sister in because he hadn't let me in. Not really. Even when I thought we were getting somewhere, that he was starting to have feelings, I was wrong.
I was wrong about everything.
I held out hope that he'd change. That he could be different.
I continued to wrap the ornaments in tissue paper, wondering what would happen to them. Would he keep them in storage? Would he give them away or to his sister? What would a single man without a house do with Christmas ornaments? The bigger question was, why did I care?
"Hey."
I glanced up to find Gina standing in front of me. "I'm almost finished wrapping these."
"This store is amazing.” Gina gushed.
"I took it over when my grandmother died."
"I'd love to get more things when I get my own place. Do you have an online shop?"
I stilled. "I don't."
Her face fell. "You should. Your things are so beautiful."
My grandmother carefully procured items that were quality and unique. She didn't want to carry the same ornaments that everyone else did. I'd carried on the tradition, not thinking much of it. "Gran was a bit old-school. She didn't even have a website."
"I'm just a student, but I design websites on the side to earn extra money. I'd love to help you."
"Oh, I don't know if I'd even want to do that." I was thinking about walking away, so why was I excited about the prospect of wrapping and shipping items?
"People who visit your store buy one or two things, and then they get home and realize that they want more. But they have no way of getting it without traveling back to Colorado. Maybe they'd even want to gift an item."
"You really think people would want to buy online?"
She grinned. "There's only one way to find out. You could create a shop and put a few of your most popular items up for sale. Then see how it goes. You want me to take a few pictures to get started while I'm here?"
"Oh, that's not necessary. You're on vacation." I didn’t want to get to know Beck's family. That would only make things worse. I needed a clean break. Just seeing him in my store today caused my heart to break open even more.
"I would love to create something for you. Let me take a few pictures, and I'll send you something in a few days. Can I get your email?"
I handed her the business cards I left on the front counter but usually just collected dust. "Sure. Why not?"
"I'm so excited to get started on this for you." She smiled and pulled out her phone. She took a few pictures of the sign behind the counter, the various themed trees, and then a few individual ornaments.
I wrapped the last item and placed a lid over the box.
Beck's gaze was on Gina as he approached. "What is she doing?"
"She's taking photos for an online store," I said, a little surprised that I'd agreed so readily. "She was very convincing."
"She can be," he said dryly.
"Are you referring to the fact that she's here?" My heart rate sped up.
He nodded. "I can't say no to her apparently."
"That's sweet."
He sighed heavily. "You're the second person to say that to me today, and let me just say that it couldn't be further from the truth."
I couldn't help but smile at his grumbling.
Gina looped her hand through his elbow. "Isn't this shop adorable? I was just telling Clara that she should have an online store. That way people can buy more things when they get home and tell their friends about it too."
Beck nodded. "I wish I'd thought of it myself."
Gina looked from him to me. "Are you consulting with her already? I didn't realize."
I shook my head. "Nothing formal. He suggested I rent out the back room to artists. But I haven't had any takers yet."
"You can post that on your online shop too." She pulled out her phone and jotted down notes.
I gave Beck a helpless look.
"Just go along with it. She'll move on eventually," Beck teased, and Gina smacked him in the chest.
"Be nice."
He touched his chest. "I thought I was being nice. There's a Christmas tree on my car, and now I'm buying ornaments we probably won't use after this year."
Gina gave him an exasperated look. "Think of this is an intervention. Project Get Beck to Settle Down in One Place so We Can All Get Together for the Holidays."
Beck's eyes widened. "I thought you were here because your boyfriend broke up with you?"
Gina waved her hand. "He did break up with me, and now I need a new project. You. Clara's shop is a bonus."
I smiled. "I like her."
Gina grinned at me. "We should get coffee while I'm in town. I want to hear all about what my big brother has been up to."
Beck handed me a credit card. "Let me pay so I can get her out of here."
"I'm going to take a few more pictures." Gina wandered off.
"I think it's great that you're decorating for the holidays." Even if I couldn't have him for myself, I wanted him to be happy. I liked that he was spending time with his sister.
"Malcolm stopped by this morning. He said I was welcome at dinner on Christmas. I'd like to come."
I frowned. "Are you asking if it's okay with me?"
"Gina wants a real Christmas, and I figured spending time with the Hart family was as close to a perfect holiday as we could get."
"Gina seems great. You should come," I said, even as my heart sunk. Would I be forced to see him everywhere if Gina convinced him to stay?
He glanced around and then lowered his voice. "Growing up, we were in and out of foster care. I tried to protect her and my brother as much as I could."
I handed him the receipt. "I didn't realize—"
"I thought you should know," he interrupted, grabbing the box.
"Thanks for sharing that with me," I said feeling like he was running away from what he'd just revealed.
He nodded. "Have a good day."
"You too," I called after him, wondering why he'd chosen to share such personal information with me now. If we were truly over, why did I need to know? Unless he was telling me so that I understood why he was the way he was.
I'd already figured it had something to do with his upbringing. He was so weird about family and having a home. That's all it was though. He hadn't told me because he wanted another chance with me. I'd be stupid to think that.
Besides, he would have told me that if it was the case. He was just giving me closure, helping me tie everything up in a neat bow. Our relationship was in the past. I could go to Christmas dinner with him and his sister and pretend like nothing had ever happened between us.
He'd filled in the blanks, and now I could move on.
I shifted to help my new employee. I'd recently hired Sharon, a woman who'd been a stay-at-home mom the last ten years and wanted to get back into the workplace. I was happy to give her a chance. So far, she was responsible and efficient.
I'd love to have more help around here so I could focus on offering classes in the backroom and possibly even the online shop. I was excited for the future. And I didn't need Beck in it to be happy. I'd be okay.
On Christmas, I slept in. I was exhausted from the week of holiday shopping, even with hiring Sharon.
When I woke, I found a text from Beck, wishing me a Merry Christmas along with a picture of his decorated tree.
There were a few wrapped presents underneath, and I wanted to know who they were for.
Probably his sister, maybe something for my parents at dinner tonight.
I returned the well wishes and told him that it looked great. I wished I could be sitting next to him on the couch, sipping coffee, and admiring the twinkling lights. But that was a fantasy. No one could get Beck to settle down. It was too ingrained in him to run. Leave before someone else could.
He had abandonment issues, and there was no way I could help him. I refused to believe that he would or could change. I needed to protect myself at this point.
I hoped he was able to work out something with his family where he was there for them from now on. That would be a good outcome from this. Hopefully, I helped him see that things could be different, even if it wasn't with me.
I stretched, then jumped in the shower, knowing I needed to get to my parents to help with dinner.
I was looking forward to spending the day with my family.
I was happy that I lived so close to them and that we had a good relationship.
We might not always agree on how to run the family business, but we loved each other.
And I was excited about making Gran's house mine. I know she would approve.
I tried not to think about how it was Beck who got me to see that.
I'd called a company to take the boxes in the garage, and now I could park inside. I'd bring some of her pictures to my parents' house today so everyone could reminisce and decide if they wanted to keep anything.
I put the frames in the back of my car and drove to my parents' house. Today was a little different because Beck had warned me that he would be here with his sister at some point. I'd get through it, and then he'd be gone, onto the next thing.
I opened my trunk and pulled out a few frames. Then I steeled myself before I went inside. Hunter opened the door and immediately grabbed the frames out of my hands. "What's this?"
"Gran's pictures. There's more in the trunk." I turned back to the car.
Before I could pull another one out of the trunk, Malcolm was at my side. "Why did you bring Gran's pictures?"
"This is her artwork that she had on the wall. I thought you guys would like to take one for your place. It's a nice way to remember her."
He stood stiffly next to me, looking at the stack. "I thought they'd be at your place."
"Let's get these inside. Then we can talk about it." I didn't want to repeat my plan multiple times.
"Mom's not going to be happy," he grumbled as he moved to comply.
Inside, we stacked them against the wall in the living room.
Mom came out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a towel. "You brought Gran's pictures?"
"Yeah, I was starting to take some of her things down and thought everyone should have a chance to take what they want instead of keeping them at my place."
She wrung her hands on the towel. "I thought you'd want to keep them on the walls."
I took a deep breath. "It feels like I'm living at Gran's house. All her things are on the walls, the tables, and in the kitchen. I want to feel like it's my place."
Mom's eyes shone with unshed tears.
"I think it's time that we went through her things. It's not fair for me to live there with everything," I said gently.
Dad put his arm around Mom. "We knew we'd have to do this at some point."
Mom nodded. "I suppose this way everyone can have something of Gran's."
I nodded. "I thought that would be nice."
They started going through the frames.
"Remember that time Gran made cookies and left them on a plate, but someone ate all of them in like five minutes?" Boone said with a smirk as he admired a painting of a deer in the woods.
"Yeah, that was you," Hunter said to Boone.
His nose screwed up. "I remembered it being Malcolm."
The boys continued to argue about who ate Gran's cookies, so I went into the kitchen to talk to Mom. "Are you okay?"
She nodded. "I wasn't expecting that today, but it was nice to see her paintings, and the boys are talking about their favorite memories.”
"It's nice to talk about her."
Mom wiped her eyes. "I don't think I'll ever be ready to do this."
"Maybe I shouldn't have done it today—"
Mom touched my hand. "No, I like how everyone is talking about Gran. Thank you for bringing them."
"I didn't want to upset you."
She hugged me. "It's okay."
It felt good to be honest about my feelings and what I wanted. My only regret was that I didn't tell Beck how I felt and now it was too late. Not that it would have changed Beck's mind. He was too set in his ways.