Chapter 7
Rowan
There was something about having Hattie in my space.
Her hair was shiny and hung over one shoulder.
The navy hoodie only made her hazel eyes look more blue.
In her sweats, she was soft and touchable.
She had been on edge ever since she saw the notice on her door.
I wanted to cross the room and comfort her, but I was positive she'd push me away.
I couldn't believe I'd stolen a kiss and got away with it.
She hadn't brought it up or told me it couldn't happen again. I wasn't sure what it meant, but I took it as a good sign. She was processing this change between us, and just maybe, she was open to it.
Most of the time, she was standoffish and prickly. But seeing that notice on her door had made her feel vulnerable. She was in a precarious position, not having a place to live and feeling like she'd invested everything into her business. I wanted to be there for her.
If she failed, she didn't have a safety net, and my heart ached for her. Not everyone had the advantages or opportunities I did, and I was grateful. But at the same time, I wanted to help Hattie. I wanted her to get everything she ever wanted in life, even if it wasn't me.
"It will work out. I just need to work hard," Hattie said as if she'd recited that line a hundred times before.
"It's always worthwhile to follow your dreams. You figure out your purpose in life and find a way to make money from it.
" That's what I'd been telling myself this past year as we renovated the building and bottled my brews.
But now that Hattie was sitting in my kitchen, I wondered if I was missing something.
She rolled her eyes. "Then I haven't found my purpose. Selling hot chocolate isn't solving any of the world's problems."
I turned to face her while I waited for the water to boil in the pot. "What if your purpose is to spread joy and happiness, and you do that through selling hot chocolate?"
Her mouth dropped open slightly, and my gaze snagged on the movement. We were living together now. Would we have more opportunities to run into each other, maybe even experience more of that kiss?
She finally shook her head. "I don’t know.”
"You don't think you make kids happy when you hand them that cup of hot chocolate with mini marshmallows?"
Her forehead wrinkled. “They seem happy about it."
"And your vision for a storefront wouldn't create an experience where people could forget about their problems and immerse themselves in all things sweet?"
She sighed. "Maybe."
"You don't think people get joy from Reina's bakery or Meg's coffee shop?"
"When you put it like that—sure. People love their coffee and sweet treats."
"How is your business different? You're creating an experience for customers that they will want to come back to again and again."
Her shoulders curled inward. "I can't create an experience with the truck. It's not like customers are walking into a transformed space. You know what I mean?"
I nodded. "You hung lights on your window that gave it a cozy feel, and you can have a table at the Illuminary and other events so people can interact with you."
She rested her elbows on the counter, cradling the glass of ice water in her hands. "When I talk to you, it makes me feel like my business is legitimate."
My brows furrowed. "Of course it's legit. You sell a product that people want."
"You're making me realize that the truck isn't the experience I want people to have. Sure, kids get excited when they see it, but I can't invite them in. All I can give them is a to-go cup."
"You'll get there. No one said starting a business was easy.
" Especially if she didn't already have a foundation like I did.
I wasn't blind to the fact that the inn and the restaurant were established and attracted a reliable customer base.
My business would draw from those customers and expand on them. I had an advantage.
"One day, right?" Hattie asked softly, and I wanted to tell her that it would happen.
That I'd be beside her every step of the way, but I couldn't. It wasn't my place, and she wasn't mine. "Of course."
She looked away. "For now, I have to think about where I'm going to live."
"You said yourself you're at a disadvantage because you don't have a property or a storefront you can use. Why don't you stay here and let me help you with a place to live? You can focus on your business and not worry about spending money on rent."
She immediately started shaking her head. "I can't take advantage of you like that."
I should have anticipated that she was going to refuse the offer. I'd pushed too hard too soon. I should have tried a different angle. "If your apartment isn't inhabitable, people will expect me to offer you a place to live. We're engaged, remember?"
She sighed heavily. "How can I forget? It's all anyone is talking about. Even Clara stopped by to see me."
The water was boiling, so I added pasta to it. "What did she have to say?"
"She was upset that she didn't know about our relationship. But once she got over that, she was happy for us."
My heart squeezed, but I didn't look over at Hattie. "She was?"
"She welcomed me to the family. It's all so ridiculous. We're lying to your family. They're going to find out, and when they do—" She broke off.
"They're not going to find out. We'll tell them our relationship couldn't handle the stress of the brewery opening or something like that.
We'll break up, and everything will go back to normal.
" That didn't even sound remotely good to me.
I liked having her here in my space, eating the food I cooked.
I didn't like that apartment, the way anyone could approach her door.
The inside wasn't nice either. I wanted her to feel safe and protected, and there was no way she felt any of those feelings living there.
I wasn't even sure her truck was safe in that parking lot.
Anyone could graffiti it one night when they were bored.
If that happened, it would set her back, and she might give up. I didn't want that to happen.
I got out another pan and poured the marinara sauce in, turning the heat to simmer. "Clara's just happy that I'm dating one of her friends."
Hattie snorted softly. "I'm not her best friend or anything. I'm more of an acquaintance."
I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest. "You don't see yourself very clearly, do you?"
She frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Clara obviously values your friendship or she wouldn't be happy for you," I said softly.
Hattie looked down at the countertop. "I don't really let many people in."
I raised a brow, wondering why that was. She wasn't always that way, and now I was wondering if her father had something to do with why she was so closed off.
"The other shop owners are friends. But I don't lease or own a storefront. I don't feel part of that."
I grabbed a wooden spoon to stir the pasta before it clumped together. "At some point, you have to ask yourself if you're the one creating all these rules and boundaries."
She was quiet for a while. "You might be right about that."
I didn't want to push any harder tonight.
She'd admitted a lot to me, whether she realized it or not.
She had friends but didn't consider herself close to them.
She felt like an outsider, and she hated to accept help or assistance of any kind.
She wanted to do everything on her own. It was admirable, but at the same time, I wanted her to feel safe wherever she landed. I just hoped she'd let me in.
When the sauce was done, I transferred the pasta and steaming sauce to a bowl for each of us and sat next to her on the island. "The snow's still coming down."
Hattie twisted the noodles onto her fork. "Wouldn't it be nice to be snowed in for once? We could take a day off work and just laze around the house."
"Doesn't happen very often around here."
She sighed. "That's why I think it would be nice. A forced vacation from life."
"Do you have any employees?" I asked, curious about how much help she had.
She smiled. "Jovie works for hot chocolate. Does that count?"
"You should get more help. You're working mornings and nights."
A line formed between her brows. "You know how it is in the beginning. You have to hustle hard to get anywhere."
I wasn't so sure about that. But then again, I wasn't coming from the same place she was. I already had a built-in customer base that was curious about my new business.
"When you let in the doubt and anxiety, making decisions gets hard.”
"You've always been more easygoing than me," Hattie finally said.
"I don't know about that." Our family was huge, and it felt like I never got a chance to just be me. Now that I was living on my own, I finally had the space from them I'd always craved. I wondered if Hattie felt that too, or whether she wanted distance between her and her mother.
She laughed softly. "You've always been more positive and outgoing. The one who made friends easily and was always up for a good time. You never had anything weighing you down."
I paused at her last comment. Had the situation with her dad weighed her down, affecting her life? It had to be, and I hated that for her. I hadn't been there when she'd needed me. I wasn't sure there ever would be a good time to talk about her father.
She flashed a smile at me. "Your family's great. I was always jealous of how close you were."
"I didn't know that." Was that another reason why she put walls up between us?
"I saw your family and mine, and the difference was glaring."
"I don't know what happened with your father—"
She sucked in a breath.
"But if you want to talk about him, I'm a good listener. I don't pay attention to small-town gossip." I'd heard the rumors over the years, and I didn't want to believe that Hattie had gone through that alone. I hoped her mother was supportive.
"I don't," she said simply.
I reached over and touched her hand. "If you change your mind, I'm here."
"You know, we're not really engaged. You don't have to be a doting boyfriend."
"Whether it's temporary or just an act, you're still my girl." If she were mine, I would have offered her a place to live. I'd get her used to living with me, and then it wouldn't make sense to leave.
Her lips twitched. "You're impossible."
"Because I offered you a bed to sleep in and a meal to eat?" I asked, even though I knew what she meant.
She gave me a look. "You take over everything."
"I'm not making your hot chocolate, am I?" I teased.
"Just give it some time," she grumbled, and I chuckled.
It was going to be fun living with Hattie, especially because she was so resistant to any help. She wanted to be independent, and I admired that about her. But when it came to her safety, it was nonnegotiable.
I finished eating first, so I started to wash the dishes. When Hattie handed me her bowl, she said, "I should probably head up to bed. I have an early day tomorrow."
"You're not planning on taking the truck out in this, are you?"
She shrugged. "Snow's good for sales."
I vowed to help her and not make her life more difficult. I wanted her to stay here after all. "I'll get up early and plow the lane for you."
Her eyebrows pinched. "Oh, you don't have to go to any trouble—"
"I asked you to bring your truck, so I need to get you out." She'd eventually realize that arguing with me about some things was pointless. I was going to help her when I could.
"Thank you," Hattie said as she headed toward the staircase.
"You're welcome and, Hattie?"
She turned to face me. "You can take a bath in my room if you want. Your bathroom only has a shower."
"That's nice of you but—"
I nodded in the direction of the living room. "I'm planning on watching a movie, and I usually fall asleep on the couch."
"That sounds nice. Thanks again."
She could stay for as long as she wanted. Not that I wanted to get into an argument about that tonight. Hattie Collins was tough. She was going to test my patience, but I couldn't give up. Everything was riding on how this fake relationship played out.
I had a feeling the longer we played this charade, the more in danger my heart would be, because I wasn't versed in keeping distance from people or pushing them away.
I'd have to be careful not to fall for her. Especially if she was determined to keep me at a distance.