Chapter 9
Rowan
Mom insisted on throwing an engagement party for us at the inn.
There was a large room off the back that was all glass windows that everyone referred to as the atrium.
It was the perfect location for an engagement party, just not mine.
Because I wasn't actually engaged. But I couldn't tell my family that. I had to let it play out.
I stood with Malcolm and Callum, discussing plans for the brewery opening, cradling a beer. My focus was on Hattie, who stood next to Clara, wearing a short black dress. The lights shone in her hair, and her skin practically glowed.
Malcolm elbowed me.
I rubbed my side. "What was that for?"
He nodded in her direction. "You're not paying attention. You're looking at your fiancée."
"Can you blame me? She's gorgeous."
Malcolm exchanged a look with Callum. "We didn't realize you were even seeing anyone. It seems sudden."
"I didn't need you in my business, especially when I was focused on the brewery."
"You don't think that she's a distraction?" Malcolm asked.
I tried to think about how I'd feel about his comment if Hattie was my real fiancée. "How is the love of my life a distraction from the brewery?"
"You're throwing engagement parties instead of planning the grand opening."
"Mom orchestrated this." I waved my hand around us. "I'm planning the grand opening."
"We were just talking about it, and you weren't even listening."
Mom had joined Clara and Hattie, and I wanted to know what they were talking about. "She's not a distraction. She's everything to me."
"That's what I'm talking about—" Malcolm began, but I was already walking toward Hattie.
I put an arm around her. "What are we discussing over here?"
Clara raised a brow. "Hattie was just saying that you hadn't had a chance to go shopping for a ring yet."
My heart rate picked up. We hadn't discussed the ring. "We've been busy."
"She has to have a ring, Rowan. Even if a woman says she doesn't care about getting one, she does," Mom said.
"We were hoping there was a family ring we could use," I said, drawing Hattie closer. Her body was slightly stiff, and she kept herself from relaxing into me.
"I intended for Gran's ring to go to Clara. I don't have another one."
"We'll need to go shopping then." I squeezed Hattie's shoulder.
"Oh, you don't have to go to any trouble," Hattie said.
I lifted her hand and kissed her empty ring finger. "I want my ring on your finger."
Clara placed a hand over her heart, and Mom sighed.
"How sweet. I just love that you two are engaged. From childhood friends to lovers," Mom said, and I grimaced.
"Please don't say that word again."
Mom waved a dismissive hand. "Don't be a prude, Row. I'm going to find your father. He's talking business again. I can never seem to get him to stop. And we're supposed to retire someday."
Hattie giggled, and Mom left.
I liked that Hattie enjoyed Mom's company. "Did I save you from anything?"
Hattie's gaze moved from my mother's retreating back to me. "She was concerned about my bare finger."
Clara gave me a pointed look. "A girl must have a ring."
I couldn't help but wish that this was real. I liked hanging out with Hattie and my family. "We're doing things in our own time. There's no need to rush. I want to enjoy this." I glanced down at Hattie's face when I said that, and her eyes widened slightly.
"You two are sweet," Clara said, and my gaze swung to hers.
"It's no different than you and Beck." I was happy for my sister, who'd found love before any of us.
Her lips pursed. "Don't change the subject. When are you planning to tie the knot?"
I glared at her. "We want to take our time."
She huffed out a breath. "Fine. You're not in a rush. But I want to know when my brother is getting married."
"You'll be the first to know." That was the safest thing to say.
"Ugh. Fine. I'm going to go see Beck. He was wrapped up in business calls all day." Clara drifted away, and Hattie moved out from under my arm to face me.
"Your family is asking a lot of questions. Questions that we don't have the answers to."
"You don't think that saying we're not in a rush is enough to put them off for a few weeks?"
Her eyes widened even more. "Have you met your family? They're nosy."
I chuckled. "You're right about that."
"How can you be so relaxed about this?" Then she lowered her voice. "We're lying to your family."
It was starting to feel less like a lie every day. We might not be engaged, but I'd always liked Hattie, and with that kiss, I knew there was chemistry, whether she wanted to admit it or not. "It's for a good cause, and they won't find out."
She sighed. "Still. I don't like it."
I kind of loved that she was so bothered by this situation. She hated lying, and she was a good person inside. I always suspected that, but this only proved that she was exactly who I remembered. "How have sales been?"
"Better when there's snow on the ground."
"Any word on when your apartment will be ready?"
She growled. "My landlord said it probably wouldn't be done until after the holidays. Apparently, contractors are busy with other projects."
"You're welcome to stay as long as you need to. I like having someone in my space."
Her face softened. "Thank you for letting me stay. I really like your cabin. It's so warm and cozy."
"Does your mom still live in the same place? Or did she move after—" I couldn't bring myself to talk about her father's death. I had a feeling she wouldn't want me to.
Hattie let out a frustrated breath. "I can't get her to move. I told her it might help if she did. The house holds so many memories. She needs a fresh start."
"I agree."
"But she's holding onto it, as if he could walk through the front door at any minute." Then she shook her head. "I'm not sure why I'm talking about this. You don't want to hear about it."
I chuckled. "I asked, didn't I?"
She sighed heavily. "Trust me. You don't want to know."
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you then." I'd wanted to be. I'd thought about reaching out to her so many times, but anytime I'd initiated a conversation with her over the years, she shut me down.
"It wasn't your place. Besides, I handled it."
That was the problem. She thought she had to handle everything herself. She didn't know when to ask for help. "Everyone could use support."
"I had Meg. She was great."
I was pleased that she had someone to talk to. I didn't know Meg well, as I rarely went into the coffee shop. "I'm glad you had her then."
Dad cleared his throat, and we turned to face the front of the room where he was holding a glass of champagne. "I wanted to thank everyone for coming tonight to celebrate my son's engagement to Hattie Collins."
Cheers erupted with my brothers whistling like idiots from the back of the room. I shot a glare in their direction. Just wait until they found someone they liked.
"All a parent wants is for their children to be happy. And I think they are. But more importantly, our hearts are full, having all our children living nearby and assisting in the family business. To happiness and many more generations of Harts."
Everyone clapped, and music started to play.
Clara walked by with a smile and touched my arm. "I believe it's time for the happy couple to dance."
I held my hand out to Hattie. "How about a dance?"
She put her hand in mine, sighing. "We've been dancing a lot lately."
In the center of the room, I pulled her into my arms. "If you count the Illuminary dance and this one, that's only two."
"Two too many," she said, but a smile played on her lips.
I looked over her head at the roomful of family and friends who'd gathered to celebrate us. "I think you're starting to enjoy my family and our events."
Her nose wrinkled. "They're a lot."
"They take some getting used to, but I have a feeling you're going to like them eventually."
She rested her arms around my neck instead of dancing more formally like we had the other night. "I like them. But they're not mine. You know what I mean? This whole thing isn't real."
With her chest pressed against mine, my heart stuttered. It was hard to remember what we were talking about. "You know, we could have stayed friends, and then my family would have taken you in like they did my siblings' friends."
"That wouldn't be right though. I have my mom. She might not be as perfect as your family, but she’s all I have."
My heart ached for her. She felt like my family was better compared to hers.
I could see why she would think that because my father wasn't addicted to alcohol But it didn't make my family better or worse.
"Family is more than just blood. It's your friends and extended family too. Found family, if you will."
She looked away, as if thinking about something she thought she couldn't have was too painful. "I'm fine with the one I was given."
I was fairly sure that wasn't true. I suspected she'd go back and change things if she could. "You know your father loved you. The addiction was stronger."
Her eyes shone with tears. "I don't talk about this with anyone."
I held her closer, allowing her to tuck her head against my chest. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."
I heard her sniffle, and my heart squeezed. I was an idiot for bringing up her father's addiction at our engagement party. Fake or not, it wasn't the right time. I held her through another song until she lifted her head and looked more composed.
"You want to get a drink? There are heaters on the patio so guests can enjoy the snow coming down."
Her lips tipped up. "That sounds lovely."
I gestured toward the door. "I'll grab us some drinks and meet you out there."
Hattie moved in that direction, and I stopped by the bar.
Malcolm turned to face me. "You still focused on the brewery?"
"Of course I am. Why would you question it?" I asked, bristling at his suggestion that my focus wasn't solely on the brewery. Yeah, Hattie was in my life, and only she and I knew that it wasn't a real relationship, but it felt like an overstep on his part. What business was it of his?