Chapter 12
Hattie
I was in a daze most of the day, replaying what happened last night and again this morning.
There was a warmth in my chest and a lightness to my body that wasn't there before.
I felt good. I wasn't worried about where I was going to live or when the apartment would be done.
I was fine where I was living. In fact, I loved it.
I enjoyed Rowan's company, and his attention even more.
There was something about him. He made me feel cherished. For a few minutes, I forgot all the reasons why we'd never work. It was enticing to pretend that this was my real life and I was actually engaged to Rowan Hart. But it was just a fantasy.
At lunch time, Rowan appeared at my window.
I leaned closer, pleased he was here. "You want some hot chocolate?"
His smile was easy. "I actually wanted to take you somewhere. Can you take a break?"
"I usually take one about now. Let me just tell Meg I can't eat lunch with her today."
He frowned. "I didn't want you to cancel your plans with her."
"We don't have official plans per se. I just go there when I can." I texted Meg and then turned the sign to Be Right Back and locked the door to the truck.
Rowan looked so good in his winter jacket and boots, like he could weather any storm.
"Where are you taking me?"
"There's one detail we haven't taken care of yet." He lifted my hand and tapped the bare ring finger.
I grimaced. "You don't have to—"
"If you were my girl, I'd want my ring on your finger," he said softly.
"Yeah, but this isn't real, remember?" It was a good reminder for both of us.
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. "We need this to look real. And this is the best way to do it."
I wanted to protest, but he was already pulling open the door to the new jewelry store. Inside, the bell rang overhead, broadcasting our arrival.
A woman looked up from the jewelry she was polishing and asked, "Can I help you?"
"We're looking for an engagement ring," Rowan said easily.
My palm was sweating.
She smiled. "I’m sure I can find something that’s perfect.”
We sat at a table next to each other, and she pulled out a tray of different options to pinpoint my style. I felt a little awkward picking out my own ring for my fake engagement. Should I pick a small one so that it was not expensive? I should let Rowan take the lead on this since it was his idea.
"I think that it should be understated yet sparkly." Rowan looked at me while he described my ideal ring, which was surprisingly accurate.
The woman pulled out another tray with a few more options.
My heart beat faster as I looked over each one.
"Go ahead. Try them on," the lady encouraged me.
I took a deep breath and pulled out the first one. I slid the simple circular diamond on my finger. It was surprisingly heavy, and it sparkled in the overhead lights.
Rowan shifted closer. "The band is plain. I think I like the ones with diamonds."
"Since when did you become an expert on diamond rings?" I asked him.
"When I got engaged," he said, his voice rough.
Why did my heart stutter over his statement? It would be too easy to believe that this was real. That this was my ring. But it wasn't. He wasn't my fiancé, and this wasn't my diamond.
I tried on another that had a rectangular shape with diamonds on the band.
The woman smiled. "I can tell by the look on your face that you don't like that one."
I pulled it off. "I think it's the shape."
"Some people love that style, and others don't. We'll find the one that feels right."
I looked over at Rowan, whose gaze was on the array of rings in front of us. My heart squeezed at the attention he was giving to picking out this ring. He was taking it seriously.
With each ring I tried on, I felt more comfortable. It was fun, and it was starting to feel real.
Our story was that Rowan was so excited to be engaged that he popped the question before he had a chance to get a ring. Did that happen often? Was it something that Rowan would have done if he loved a woman?
There was one design I kept coming back to. It was round and sparkly with a line of diamonds on the band which gave way to a filigree design. It was beautiful.
"I think this is the one," Rowan said to me.
I sighed, loving the way it felt on my finger. "Yes."
"Does it fit?" Rowan asked, and I moved it on and off my finger. "It seems snug to me."
"That's a good fit. You don't want it falling off," the woman said.
Rowan raised a brow. "Can she wear it home then?"
The woman smiled. "Let me polish it for you."
She moved away, and I whispered, "Are you sure about this? It looks expensive."
He smiled confidently. "Yes."
I let out a breath. "I'm starting to think you're a little bit crazy."
He let out a loud guffaw, and I couldn't help but smile at him.
The woman put the ring in a velvet box and handed it to Rowan. "You should ask her again with the ring this time. That way she'll have two proposals."
"That's a good idea," he said before I could protest.
I waited for him to pay for it, and then we walked out, my hand curled around his arm. It felt natural to be this close to him after picking out an engagement ring. "I kind of wanted to wear it now."
He chuckled. "I want to give it to you, but I liked her idea of asking you again."
"First of all, you didn't ask me the first time, and you don't have to propose. This isn't real after all," I said lightly.
"Well, well. It's so nice to see you two out and about," Judy said, causing us to stop.
Judy and Raymond were watching us intently.
Rowan hugged his mother. "What are you guys doing in town?"
"Thought we'd do some holiday shopping." Judy lifted her bag as if to prove her point.
Raymond rocked back on his heels. "And I need to go to the new hardware store. The question is, what are you kids doing?"
"We were just going to lunch—" I said as Rowan interrupted me.
"We were looking at engagement rings."
Judy's eyes widened. "Did you find one?"
This time, Rowan lifted his tiny jewelry store bag. "You can see it after I propose to my fiancée for a second time."
Judy covered her chest with her hand. "How romantic."
My heart was thumping, because it was romantic, and it was getting harder to discern if this was real or part of the act. "It's sweet, isn't it?"
Rowan smiled at my comment, and my heart felt too full. "I can't wait to see it on your finger."
We had a moment where we were staring at each other, and he leaned in slightly as if he was going to kiss me. The rest of the world faded away until it was only us.
"We'll let you get back to it. Don't forget to do your holiday shopping before the rush," Judy said, causing Rowan to lift his head.
"Will do," Rowan said easily, and we kept walking. "Let's grab a quick lunch. I'm sure you have to get back to work."
"It's not every day you take a break at work to pick out your engagement ring." I still couldn't believe that it was real.
We grabbed slices of pizza and ate at the counter overlooking the street.
"When are you planning to give me the ring?" I asked.
"What would be the fun in telling you?" he teased.
"You're not going to keep it a surprise, are you?" I turned on my stool to face him, wondering why I cared. This engagement was fake after all.
He wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Sure. Why not?"
I growled in frustration. "Because this isn't real? Don't you want to put the ring on my finger so that everyone can see it?"
He covered my hand on my thigh with his. "I want to do this right."
"You're not making any sense." Because this wasn't real. And there was no reason to do anything by the book.
He smiled easily. "This is fun. Let's enjoy it."
There was a sign on the window about Santa coming to town on Saturday. An entire event was planned around his arrival.
"Are you working on Saturday?" Rowan asked.
"Yeah, it draws a ton of people. Jovie's working with me."
"You think you could get away for a while?" he asked lightly.
I tipped my head to the side. "Does this have anything to do with the ring?"
He sighed. "You're going to have to stop asking about it. I want it to be a surprise."
He was so earnest about it. "Okay. Fine. I'll stop asking. I could take a break."
"Thank you," he said simply, gathering our trash.
We walked toward my truck, stopping when we got to the door. I unlocked it, and we stepped inside. "Are you planning on helping this afternoon?"
He leaned against the counter, crowding the space. "Nope. Just wanted a goodbye kiss."
I glanced over at the window where a few people had formed a line. "I have customers."
"They can wait a few seconds." He pulled me toward him and kissed me. He took his time, seemingly not worried about the people waiting. When he finally pulled back, my cheeks felt hot.
"You shouldn't do that."
"It's how I'd say goodbye if you were mine," he said simply.
Then he was gone, and I was alone in the truck, wondering why Rowan had to be the boyfriend I couldn't have.
On Saturday, I was parked in my usual spot, handling orders during the holiday event.
At some point, Rowan stopped by to see if I could take a break but came inside so he could help with the orders.
He quickly figured out our assembly line process and poured hot cocoa and added toppings like he'd been doing it for years.
I never would have asked him for help, but it was sure nice to have it. Jovie kept giving me side-eye. At one point, she hissed, "I thought this was supposed to be fake?"
I sighed. "I have no idea what's going on."
She kept her head down so he wouldn't overhear. "He's acting like a real boyfriend."
I shrugged because I couldn't argue with her. He was acting like an attentive boyfriend, and it should have been irritating because I was used to being on my own. But I liked it. It made everything inside of me go soft.
There was a commotion in the crowd when Santa arrived on a fire truck.
He climbed down and handed out candy canes.
Eventually, Santa made his way to Santa's workshop in the town square.
Kids lined up to sit on his lap to tell him what they wanted for Christmas.
The line was steady as parents ordered hot chocolates for the family while their kids waited to speak to Santa.
These were the nights that sustained me for days. The tip jar was overflowing, and everyone wanted hot chocolate.
Around nine, a band got on stage and started playing, and people drifted over to listen. Most of the younger kids had already gone home for bedtime, and the crowd had thinned. I leaned against the counter, exhausted by the evening but pleased with the number of sales we'd had.
Rowan washed his hands in the tiny sink and dried them with a small white towel. "Jovie, do you mind if we take a break to enjoy the festival?"
She waved us away. "Go on."
"Thanks." Rowan grinned at her and held his hand out to me.
I felt warm all over. Was this the night he'd stage the fake proposal, and why did a tiny part of me wish that it would be real?
Jovie gave me a look as I moved past her, and I knew she'd want an explanation.
I hadn't seen her since Rowan and I had started sleeping together.
It had become a habit to end up in his bed because it was bigger and more comfortable.
We seemed to be able to communicate physically in a way we couldn't during the day.
I was playing a dangerous game, but I couldn't bring myself to stop.
It was like going on a diet. You knew you should do it to be healthier, but it was so much more fun to indulge in tons of sugar.
Outside, he pulled me toward the stage where the band was playing.
"I could hear them in the truck."
He grinned down at me. "But not like this."
I sighed for the hundredth time tonight, knowing that I couldn't change who he was.
We were playing a role, needing people to believe we were in a real relationship.
But he insisted on treating me like a real girlfriend, and I was done arguing with him.
Especially when it felt so good to be in his arms.
He wrapped his arms around me, and I leaned into his chest. My head was tucked under his chin, and I felt safe and protected.
For once, I wasn't mentally calculating the sales in my head or how many bills tonight's orders would pay.
I was in this moment with him, enjoying the flurries falling lazily to the ground, the strum of the guitar, and the man's voice on stage.
Clara moved next to us, holding onto Beck's hand. "You two look so cute together."
We were playing our roles a little too well. Everyone believed that we were engaged. But then again, how could they not when he bought me a real diamond ring? He'd yet to give it to me because he was waiting for the perfect moment.
The timing of when he'd give me the ring was always on my mind. When would he do it? How would I react? Would I cry like it was a real proposal, or would I freak out about how real everything felt?
"Please. You two are always making out in corners. And don't think I don't know what you were doing at my tasting."
Clara gasped.
I turned slightly to see Rowan's face. "What happened at your—" I broke off, realizing that they must have hooked up there.
Rowan nodded. "I didn't realize at the time, but when you told us about your secret relationship, I remembered how you both disappeared in the back for a long time."
Clara's face flushed pink, and Beck said something in her ear. She gazed at him with desire in her eyes. I had to look away because the love they shared was palpable.
Clara and Beck were clearly in love. It was a good reminder that what we were doing was an act. We were merely playing a game that could backfire on us spectacularly.