Chapter 14
Hattie
When my skin started to wrinkle, I got out of the bath, dried off, and changed into my clothes. Rowan seemed busy, and I wasn't sure he'd ever have time to join me. It was becoming clear that once the brewery opened, he wouldn't have time for me.
I sat at one of the tables with Clara and the other shop owners. This was supposed to be a soft opening, so she'd invited the other shop owners in Christmas Town to partake in the night's activities.
I sipped the holiday brew that Rowan said would put his brewery on the map and listened to the women talk.
Eventually, Beck stopped by with trays of pizzas and a soft pretzel with an assortment of dips. The food was good, the brew was delicious, and the company even better.
Over the years, I'd stopped myself from forming meaningful relationships, but I could see the appeal of friends. It was fun. They joked around, relaying stories about bad dates, but also, they shared their business struggles.
We were all going through similar things, no matter what level we were at, and it was fascinating to hear that I wasn't the only one questioning everything. Was this dip in sales permanent? Was it the economy? Were people not shopping and saving their money?
For once, I didn't feel so alone. I was connecting with these women on a different level. Only Clara was a Hart, so the others didn't have easy paths to entrepreneurship.
I'd always felt like an outsider in this group of friends because I owned a truck and not a storefront.
"Hattie, when are you two going to get married? I bet it's tough with the brewery opening soon," Belle asked.
"We haven't really talked about dates or anything.
Rowan is preoccupied with the grand opening.
Maybe once everything calms down," I said lamely.
I could see that Rowan was going to be busy for a while.
There wouldn't be time for our wedding, even if we were engaged.
There certainly wouldn't be time and space for a relationship.
I enjoyed the time we'd spent together. But from now on, he'd be focused on the brewery, and that was understandable.
"I bet you can't wait to start planning," Angela added.
"I've never been a plan-your-wedding kind of girl. So I don't even know where to start," I said honestly.
The women's eyes all widened, and a few mouths dropped open.
"We'd be happy to help. Just let us know when you're ready to start planning," Reina offered.
"That's sweet, but I'm sure I'll be fine," I said.
My instinct was always to not accept help.
If I was engaged to Rowan, I was sure his mother would want to be involved.
Then a chill ran through my chest at the idea of my mother being involved.
Maybe a happy occasion could snap her out of the depression she'd been feeling ever since Dad died? I doubted it.
"How's your mom doing? She wasn't at the engagement party," Clara asked, almost reading my mind.
"She’s not a fan of crowds. But she’s doing okay.
" She almost never left her house, and she refused to even draw the blinds to allow light inside.
I wanted to mention how tough things had been for her, but I couldn't seem to form the words.
It was easier to pretend that everything was fine than to tell them the truth.
Rowan approached, standing between Claire's chair and mine. "Are you done eating? I wanted to show you something."
I stood, placing my napkin on my plate. "I'm done."
There was a chorus of goodbyes from the girls, most of them smiling at how sweet it was that Rowan wanted to take me somewhere by myself.
He engulfed my hand in his.
"Where are we going?"
"Like I said, I wanted to show you something." He guided me up a set of stairs at the back of the building, near the newly installed restrooms.
"I didn't realize there was a second floor."
"It's more of an access for the roof."
"Ah," I said, even though I didn't know why we were going to the roof. When I read the information about the building, it said that this one was built to be used for storage. It wasn't one of the houses that had been built for the family to reside in.
He pushed open a door and waited for me to step onto the roof next to him. The roof came to a peek but on the side facing the mountains, there was a porch where you could sit and look out.
"Did you know this was here when you were kids?"
"It wasn't even accessible. We installed the stairs when we did the renovation."
"Are you planning on using this space?" I asked.
There wasn't any furniture, but he'd brought large pillows and blankets up here at some point. There were even battery-operated candles dotting the floor.
"I thought it would be nice to have access, but no, I don't think it's big enough to use as anything but a lookout for the family." He gestured at the mound of pillows, and I sat gingerly on one.
He sat next to me, looking large and out of place on his. He reached for a bottle of wine and poured two glasses.
I sighed. "This is really nice. Thank you for bringing me up here. I figured you'd be too busy to socialize tonight."
He flashed a smile at me. "I always have time for you."
"I can see how you'll be busy the next few weeks. The opening is coming up, and you'll want to ensure every detail is taken care of."
"You're right about that. But I really wanted to show you this spot." He handed me the glass, and I cradled it in my hand, looking out over the view.
"It's gorgeous."
He arranged a few pillows behind us so that they rested on the slant of the roof, and then he pulled me back against his chest, lowering the blanket over us. I didn't feel the chill of the air, and up here, it seemed like we were the only two people in the world.
"For once, it's not so cloudy that we can't see the stars."
I followed his finger to the sky where, sure enough, there were a million or more stars blinking down at us.
I let out a breath, letting my chest loosen.
It was nice that he'd taken time out of the evening to spend it with me.
He didn't have to do this. Unless he wanted people to know he'd planned a romantic interlude with me.
"I'm so glad you're here with me. I've been wanting to share this with someone, and you're the perfect person."
"It is special." Downstairs, the Hart family and friends were gathered to support Rowan and Beck. But up here, it was just us.
He eventually shifted and grabbed something from his pocket. When he moved again, he was on one knee on the blanket, holding the jewelry box in his hand. His eyes sparkled with mischief. "The last time I asked you was spur-of-the-moment, and I hadn't had a chance to buy you the ring yet."
I laughed, because the announcement had come as a surprise. "You were overcome with love."
He nodded seriously. "I wanted to take my time and get you the ring that you deserve. The one you've always wanted."
My heart pinched, and I wasn't so sure he was teasing anymore. This felt a little more serious.
"I was going to wait until the grand opening, but it doesn't make sense. Not when you need the ring now."
That was a good reminder that this wasn't real. No matter how much I wanted it to be.
"Hattie, will you marry me?"
I never expected to hear that question from a man. I hadn't dreamed about a proposal or even wondered what it would feel like. But there was something about these words coming from Rowan that had my heart flip-flopping. I licked my suddenly dry lips and said, "Of course I'll marry you."
Why had that come out so easily? This was fake, right? I felt like I was losing all sense of reason. It seemed to happen whenever I was too close to Rowan.
He slid the ring over my finger, and a tingle shot down my hand and up my elbow.
The diamond sparkled in the candlelight. "It's beautiful."
"You picked it out."
"Yeah," I said as he cupped my cheeks, drawing my attention to his eyes.
"Thank you for doing this." Then he kissed me softly but didn't linger. He pulled back, and the wind whipped over my cheeks.
I wrapped the blanket around me, a little tired. I was confused because it had felt very real, and then he referenced our fake arrangement, which felt like dumping cold water on our steamy scene.
"When we go back downstairs, we can announce that we're officially engaged. Everyone will want to see the ring." His voice was flat, as if he'd rehearsed this. It was all part of an act.
I felt like an idiot for thinking any of this was real. I let myself get caught up in him and the moment. I wouldn't allow that to happen again. "Why didn't you propose in front of everyone? That would have gotten the message across."
"I thought about it. You know, doing it at the grand opening. But that's too late."
I swallowed. "Because our relationship will be over."
He placed a hand on my leg over the thick blanket. "I know I've said this before. But I really appreciate you upending your life to do this for me.
"It's not a problem." My heart was beating hard, and I was warm all over.
I was a little embarrassed that I let myself fall for him.
I prided myself on staying distant from everyone.
But I hadn't done it in this case. Maybe it was him.
I was incapable of maintaining any distance. I was destined to be drawn to him.
We'd had sex, but I was an idiot for letting myself think that he was getting feelings for me. I clearly hadn't been careful with my heart.
"I'd better get back to work." He stood and held a hand out to me.
My heart ached. I thought this was a romantic setting for us. Not another staged event to prove what we had was real. What if it already was?
I was in so much trouble. I brushed off my clothes and waited for him to turn off the candles. "I'll clean this up later."
Because he wouldn't be needing it again. This was just a set. A way to broadcast our relationship to others.
We headed downstairs. Rowan kept a tight hold on my hand, and we approached the table where his family was gathered. He cleared his throat. "We have an announcement to make."
Everyone looked at us expectantly, and I wanted to disappear into the floor for believing any of this was real.
"I asked Hattie to marry me again on the roof, and she said yes."
There was a chorus of cheers and good wishes. Everyone seemed to get up at once, wanting a closer look at the ring.
I held out my hand for everyone to ooh and aah over the diamond. But I felt numb. I smiled until it felt like my face was going to crack. I accepted hugs and well-wishes, wondering when I could be alone with my thoughts. I had to remain calm on the outside while I was reeling on the inside.
"Oh, I want to see the ring." Judy touched my hand, angling my finger so she could get a better look at the diamond. Then she surprised me by pulling me into a hug and said, "Welcome to the family."
My eyes stung with unshed tears, and I was finding it difficult to breathe. My chest was tightening with every kind word of congratulations. This wasn't real, and I had a sneaking feeling that I wasn't the only one who'd be hurt when the truth came out.
I dutifully stood next to Rowan while each person congratulated us, giving us hugs and slapping Rowan on the back.
Thankfully, no one was asking for more details about dates, locations, or dresses. I didn't want to get in deeper with the Hart family. They were all so nice. I'd violated their trust, and I hated it.
Clara was the last one to approach us. "You have to let me go dress shopping with you."
My heart squeezed at that because I didn't think we were close enough for that. But then again, she thought she was going to be my sister-in-law. "I'd love that."
"I can't believe we're going to be sisters," Clara exclaimed before engulfing her brother in a tight hug.
I sucked in a breath, wondering why it felt like I was drowning. When she moved away with Beck, Rowan said, "I should get back to work."
"I think I'm going to head home. I'm tired."
His brow furrowed. "Are you sure?"
"Unless you need me to stay?" I'd already tried everything there was to sample, and I'd done it without him at my side. The one moment he stole me away wasn't even real. I was ready for this night to be over.
He stepped close and brushed a strand of hair off my forehead. "I might wake you up."
I should have said that I was sleeping in my room tonight, or that I was getting a new place to live, but my traitorous heart wanted more time with him. "I won't complain."
He chuckled, kissing me softly. "It's not every day that you get officially engaged."
I smiled. "That's right."
He pressed another kiss to my lips. "I'll be home soon."
Malcolm called him over, his gaze narrowed on me. He saw me as a distraction. I was doing everyone a favor by getting out of here. I'd already acted out my part, and it was time to back away. What was I doing?
This thing seemed harmless when it started, but every day, I only fell deeper. And I was more than a little worried that I was falling in love with him.