Chapter Six #2
Her eyes remain closed as she catches her breath, and I take the time to grab the condom wrapper, rip it open, and roll it on. At the sound, she opens her eyes and watches, which only makes what I am doing feel hotter, and my cock pulses in my grip.
Dammit, I’m afraid I’ll come at first thrust; that’s how much I want her. Rising, I press her knees back and wedged myself between her legs, my cock poised at her wet entrance.
“Look at me,” I say.
Her gaze meets mine. I nudge my cock at her entrance, finding her so wet I slip inside and pause, clenching my jaw and thinking of anything but how damn good she feels.
She lifts her hands, and I entwine our fingers, then thrust deep. Her hips rise to meet me as I fill her completely.
“Fuck, baby, you feel good.”
She grasps my shoulders, her nails digging into my skin. “You do, too. Move, Axel. Please.”
Unable to remain upright and hold back, I fall forward, my hands on either side of the mattress, supporting my weight. And then I do what she asks, pumping my hips in and out, making certain she feels me, watches me, and isn’t thinking this is just sex.
My cock experiences every clasp and release as her pussy tries to hold on to me while I pull myself out and thrust back in.
“I missed you,” I tell her, “so damned much.” I lower my hips and grind myself against her until her eyes nearly roll back in her head.
“Oh, God. Keep doing that,” she says, her legs shaking on either side of me.
“Keep your eyes on me and I will.”
She locks her gaze with mine, and I begin to move, grinding myself against her, doing my best not to let go until she lets out a moan, her entire body seizing around me.
Only then do I allow myself to let go and feel everything, my climax ripping through me and pulling me under. All I can think and feel is Tara, surrounding me, holding on to me, and fulfilling me.
When I come back to myself, I realize I collapsed on top of her and roll to my side, letting her breathe more easily.
I pull off the condom and force myself to leave the bed to get rid of it and wash up quickly before rejoining her. I prop myself up on one elbow and meet her gaze. I already know I need to be one step ahead of her or else she’ll take the time to rebuild her walls.
“We still click,” I say, grinning because how could I not? She is still in my bed. I reach out and tuck her hair behind one ear.
She blows out a breath. “I can’t argue with that,” she murmurs. “I’ll be right back. I need the bathroom, too.”
She stands and walks into my master bath, returning a few minutes later. “Is there bottled water in the refrigerator?”
I nod. “I’ll get it.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m already up.” She grabs the T-shirt she was wearing and puts it on, covering up that gorgeous body. “Do you want one?”
“Sure. The kitchen is—”
“I’m sure I can find it unless the house is a maze.” She laughs and walks out of the room, a smile on her face.
When she returns, water in hand, her expression is much more subdued. She hands me my bottle, puts hers on the nightstand, and climbs back into bed. Without taking her shirt off again.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
She picks up the bottle, unscrews the cap, and takes a long sip. “How long have you been living here?”
“Since last … September. After I moved out of Dash’s place.”
She wrinkles her nose. “So almost ten months.”
I shrug. “I guess so. Why?”
“No furniture anywhere but this room and the kitchen table and chairs?” She raises her eyebrows.
I shake my head. “I told you, I’m not sure where I want to end up. The city, here… I’m renting and I’m over at Dash’s and Xander’s a lot. I don’t entertain. I didn’t need anything else.” I reach out and put my hand on her arm. “What’s going on in that head of yours?”
“Nothing … everything.” She turns to face me better, dislodging my touch.
“You say you want us to try again. You’re talking about making love, which sounds like you want a future.
But you’re not settled in your life. You’re still a man on tour with no home base, no sense of home, and I want that in a partner.
I need that. I need someone responsible. ”
I blink. “Responsible. Like you were last night? Drunk at a bar, lucky your brother-in-law was there or that you happened to drunk text me?”
Her cheeks pinken in embarrassment, which is the last thing I want her to feel.
“Tara, listen to me. The past ten months, I’ve been working nonstop in the studio with the guys.
I needed to cement my place in the band.
To become an integral part of them. That’s where my focus has been.
Not on decorating a house I’m barely in. ”
She wraps her arms around herself. “And it doesn’t matter anyway because your next step is to go on tour, right?
So maybe responsible was the wrong word, but stable is not.
” She draws a deep breath and lets it out again.
“Ever since I lost my dad … suddenly … my life has been one major change after another.”
“Tara—”
She shakes her head. “Let me finish, please?”
I nod. “Go on.”
“I thought I’d go to school in New York, come home to California, and take over Dad’s practice.
There were other vets there to keep the business running until I got my degree, but Mom wanted to start over somewhere new.
So New York became home, she remarried, and I had stepsiblings. I’ve just begun to settle in.”
She pauses in thought, and I wait her out this time, knowing she isn’t finished and needs to explain.
She rubs her eyes with her palms before pulling herself together again, straightening her shoulders and meeting my gaze. “Look, I told myself if I got involved with anyone, it would be someone who wants the same things I do.”
I grasp one of her hands and hold on so she can’t pull away. “And what is that?”
“A house and a family of my own. Someone I can count on, who will be there.”
Because she lost her father, she equates stability with the idea of a traditional family, I think. But it didn’t have to be that way.
“Look at Dash and Cassidy. They’re going to make it work when he goes on tour. Plenty of famous musicians have families and a home base. Just because I don’t have one yet doesn’t mean I don’t want the same things you do.” And I only want them with her.
Is it fast? Yeah. Is it crazy? Probably. Do I care? Fuck no.
Though she is listening, I know she isn’t processing my words. “We don’t need to move so quickly. Let’s keep getting to know each other, okay?” I tug on her hand. “Let me take you out again. No pressure for anything more.”
Obviously between our deep connection in bed and my ridiculous empty rental, she’s gotten scared and is pulling back.
I can’t change my career, nor do I want to.
I also don’t believe she’d ask that of me.
I need to be part of her life so I can show her we can have the future she wants.
Even if my touring means our way of going about it is untraditional.
“So what do you say?” I ask in the wake of her silence. “We can go on another date sometime this week?”
“Yeah, okay.” She bites down on her lower lip. “But I think I should go now.”
I take the win where I can. “Okay.” Leaning over, I press a kiss to her lips and then stand up to get dressed and take her home.