Chapter 39
39
Sybil
“I can’t believe you pulled this off.” Deacon turned in a circle, looking around and shoving his hands in his pockets.
“I can,” Emi said, nudging my shoulder with her own. There was a bit of a chill in the air, but it was near balmy for early spring, and kids and families ran by the entry to the zoo where we stood.
“It’s one hell of a surprise party,” Marcus said. “Lila texted that they’re almost here, and she told Kieran she was meeting with the manager about a potential catering job.” He kept insisting he and Lila were just friends, but I didn’t believe it.
I glanced at my watch. The sounds of kids running around the zoo surrounded us and mixed with the music from the band playing near the bald eagle exhibit.
Emi saw me looking and wrapped an arm around my waist. “They’ll get here soon. And you did a great job. He’s going to love it.”
I nodded. After the time at the cabin, everything had shifted with Kieran. Things had really been shifting for a long time, and I didn’t think we’d been really pretending since that dinner with my family. But since we’d returned, I’d been sleeping at his place, though more often than not, we weren’t sleeping much. “He’s not really a birthday guy,” I said. “I didn’t even know his birthday was coming up until Lila said something at the shop a couple weeks ago.”
“He’ll love this,” Emi said, giving me a squeeze and pointing at the car driving toward the zoo’s main entrance. “He’ll love it because you planned it.”
I ignored the wave of hope her words inspired and watched the two of them approach, deep in conversation. My nerves pinged again, worrying Emi was wrong and he’d hate all this attention and think I was being too over the top, like others thought of me. When they reached the door, we hid behind the main counter, listening to their conversation as the door opened.
“Surprise!” I jumped up from behind the counter along with my friends, and Lila joined us in calling out, “Happy birthday!”
“What’s…” Kieran looked around the main lobby. “What’s going on?”
“Well, when it’s your birthday and people jump out at you and yell ‘surprise,’ that usually means it’s a surprise party.” Lila patted him on the back and flashed a wide smile to Marcus across the room. Just friends? Yeah, right. “Sybil planned it.”
I stepped forward and took his hands, aware of the few families passing us. “Happy birthday,” I said more quietly, kissing him on the cheek. “Are you surprised?”
“Completely.” He pulled me into a hug, and it was natural at this point, an automatic response when we were near each other.
“Oh no,” Deacon joked. “They’re about to start making out. I’m not into watching.”
Emi punched his shoulder. “They are not, but where did you get that lemonade?” Marcus nodded toward the door, and all three of them, along with Lila, walked out the back of the entrance to find one of the snack stands positioned near the flamingo exhibit.
“You threw me a birthday party at the zoo?” He looked around to make sure no one could overhear us. “Is this…Are we trying to get our picture taken or something?”
I stepped back from Kieran’s embrace and watched him take in the scene outside. “No. I mean, I guess I can’t stop people from taking photos, but no media allowed, and I think people will mostly take pictures of their own kids.” Taking his hand, I led him outside. “I bought out the zoo. Did you know you could rent out a whole zoo?”
Kieran stopped in his tracks, our hands still linked. “You can’t rent out an entire zoo for me.”
“Well, I can. I did,” I said defensively, tugging on his hand again. “But it’s not just for you. C’mon, it’s almost time for cake.”
We strode out into the sunshine, and this time when Kieran froze, I gave him a minute to take in his surroundings before tugging him forward again. There was a huge banner at the entrance reading “Happy Birthday,” with signs pointing toward the exhibits and stations we’d arranged. There were hundreds of kids gleefully running from spot to spot and others frozen in place, captivated by the animals. To the left, the music from the carousel, along with children’s giggles, filled the air.
I squeezed his fingers, linked with mine. “I remember you said what a special place this was for you, so I thought you might be okay having a birthday party if you were sharing it with all these kids the shelter and the local Boys and Girls Club support.”
I followed a group of children holding cotton candy with my eyes, but Kieran still hadn’t said anything, and I turned back to him. His expression was unreadable, and he still stood stick straight. “Oh no,” I said, stepping in to him and lowering my voice. “You hate it? I took it too far, didn’t I? I’m sorry. I just wanted to do something special for you, and I thought if something small was nice, something big would be better. And you’ve been working so hard on the shop and to help me and thinking about school so much that I thought you might like an escape for a day.”
His posture loosened in an instant, and he pulled me to him again, our joined hands over his heart. “This is special.” He tipped my chin up and dropped a sweet kiss on my lips. “I don’t even know what to say. This is…” He kissed me again. “You’re incredible.”
“Happy birthday,” I repeated when we broke from the kiss. “Lila helped me out a lot with the plans, and we partnered with some other businesses, so we were able to arrange for enough food that every family can take some with them, plus a little gift for each kid. If I never see wrapping paper again, it will be too soon.”
He looked over my shoulder, eyes bouncing from thing to thing, and his smile widened. It was a rare Kieran smile I didn’t see very often—free and wide and lasting.
“And I made sure the otters were ready for you,” I offered. “Turns out you can’t pet them, but I really tried. These zookeepers were unbribable.”
I couldn’t help but return his smile, and my God, I wanted to make him look like that all the time. And when I noticed him blinking and his eyes growing wet, I joined him in that, too. “Don’t cry,” I said, cupping his cheek. “Then I’ll start crying and I hear otters are very perceptive, so…there’s nothing sadder than an empathizing otter.”
He chuckled and pulled me into a hug. No kiss this time, just the warm embrace of his arms. “Can’t have that,” he said into my ear. “I love it. I love…” He trailed off, and my pathetic heart lurched. “Everything. I don’t even know what to say.”
I rested my head on his chest and enjoyed the moment, pretending that “I love” had been followed by “you.” “You haven’t even tried the cake yet,” I joked, finally stepping out of the hug. “That’s probably the most special part.”
He squeezed my fingers and followed me down the hill to the massive birthday cake waiting for everyone.
“This is all really special,” he said, looking at the crowd. When I didn’t say anything, he squeezed my hand. “Do you not think so?”
“No, I do.” Up ahead, Emi held up ten fingers, signaling there was a little time left before the cake, and I tugged Kieran through the double doors leading into the simulated Outback in the Australia section. “I’m really proud of it. Is that wrong?”
“No.” He paused, and we both watched a wallaby hop by in the grassy area nearby. “You should be proud.”
“There’s just so much more that people need. I want to do more.” I’d snagged cotton candy from the vendor on the path, and I chewed a bite thoughtfully, my gaze sweeping the area, which was free of kids and families at the moment.
“You can,” he said as we paused on a bridge overlooking a pond. A black swan glided through the water. “You can do anything. You can really make an impact if you want to, and not just because of the money.”
I chuckled and rested my forearms on the wooden barrier, leaning forward to get a closer view of the swan. “Are you about to make a joke about my bad driving?”
He shifted behind me, and I smiled to myself as he settled his hands on either side of mine. “I wasn’t. I must be slipping.” He rested his chin on my shoulder, and I followed his gaze along the surface of the water as the swan moved past us. “You did throw me a birthday party.” He brushed my curls away from my neck, and his breath caressed my ear while I relaxed against him.
“You really like it?” I tilted my head to the side and felt him brush a kiss there.
“I really do.”
“Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.” He settled one hand at my waist. “I want to tell you something, too.”
On the other end of the pond, two wallabies jumped by, and he was right about this place seeming kind of magical. “When I was planning this and pulling everyone together, people took me seriously. Like, they listened and treated me like I was…I don’t know, someone who had a good plan. And I actually did have one.”
He nodded, and his chin bobbed against my shoulder.
“I liked it.”
He traced circles against my belly with his thumb. “That’s a good thing, then.”
“Yeah, just kind of…scary. This worked out, but what if I try again and I screw it up?”
“I wish you saw yourself like I see you.” He wrapped both arms around me, pulling my back against his chest. “And I promise, this is not a commentary about your driving.” He spoke softly near my ear. “But you’re in the driver’s seat, and if you take a wrong turn or even get pulled over for speeding, you’ll still be able to get where you’re going because you’re actually a skilled driver, even if your style isn’t the same as other people’s.”
I bit my lower lip and felt tears well in my eyes. “You still got in a dig about my driving.”
He squeezed me tighter and kissed the side of my head. “You just go so fast.”
Laughing, I wriggled in his arms until I was free to drape my hands over his shoulders and meet his gaze. “Thank you.”
“For making you laugh?”
I shook my head slowly from side to side and tipped my forehead to his. Our noses almost touched, and I whispered, our breaths mingling, “For believing in me. For encouraging me to believe in myself. I never really knew I needed that.”
I listened to him inhale slowly before he spoke. “If this was real, would you want it to last?”
A slew of kids ran past us, making us crowd against the railing to avoid being trampled—we both laughed as they shouted that they were going to cut the cake soon. My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I was sure it was Emi tracking me down, which meant it was a matter of time before Deacon was sent on a recon mission to find me. Kieran was facing me now, his dark eyes on mine. “It already feels real to me,” I admitted. “I know that’s not the deal, but it…does. So, yes. I would.”
His features relaxed and his lips crashed down on mine, the kiss bruising with his palms on either side of my face. “I want it to last,” he said, pressing his forehead to mine. “I want it to be real.”
“This is crazy. What does this mean?” I nodded, already fast-forwarding to agreeing with him. “We can’t just decide this, can we? We’re at the zoo.”
“And it’s time for cake,” he said, linking our fingers together. “C’mon.” He tugged my hand. “They’ll send Deacon to find us soon, and I don’t want to get on that guy’s bad side. He’s my Frozen brother now.”
“But we’ll talk more after cake and otters?”
He tugged me to him and dropped a soft kiss to my lips again. “I’m not letting you go.”
My cheeks hurt from how wide I was smiling, and I wanted to search the ground for any lost pennies just to hedge my bets as we hurried toward the exhibit exit. Without the tree cover, the sun shone bright on us when we pushed back onto the path. I shaded my eyes against the glare with my free hand. “Wait, what did you want to tell me?”
He tugged on my hand, leading me down the hill to the waiting crowd around the cake. Emi jogged toward us along with the event manager for the zoo. “I called the school,” he said. “About my reentry.”
My giddy mood dipped. I knew it was coming. I knew he had to go back to school and he was so excited, but it meant him leaving, not just the state but for a whole other reality. I forced a big smile, though, because I knew what it meant to him. And maybe I could go with him. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he said. “I told them I want to defer my reentry. I don’t want to leave yet, and I don’t want to leave you.”
I froze mid-step, the news sinking in. He wasn’t leaving. This was real. This event was going off without a hitch and had me thinking about possibilities, and Kieran wasn’t leaving. I threw my arms around his neck as Emi and the event manager met us.
“This must be the birthday boy,” the woman said from behind me. “The hashtag ‘love and donuts’ couple, clearly.”
Emi chuckled. “They’re always like this.” She tugged on my shirt. “C’mon, lovebirds. Don’t make the kids wait for cake.”
“You know,” the event planner said to Emi when I pulled apart from Kieran and we were ushered toward the crowd, “when I saw that video he made about her, I knew they would be. It’s just really nice when those things work out in the end.”
I looked at Kieran, who squeezed my hand. It seemed like everything was going to work out perfectly.