8. Sincere
The best thing about living in Bliss Peak was that every part of it looked like a damn post card. The low hanging clouds hovering over mountain peaks. The grassy slopes. The random animal sightings. All of it was straight out of an outdoor magazine and I wouldn’t even believe a place like this existed if I didn’t witness it every day.
Our house was nestled in a valley, mostly surrounded by trees. But it only took going a quarter mile in either direction to find other homes tucked away like ours. I was biased, but I knew for a fact that ours had the best views all around.
The back of the house faced the lake. The side facing east had the best forest view. And the west had an unobstructed view of the summit. Our deck wrapped around three-fourths of our property, so depending on our moods, we could bask in every picturesque angle.
After customizing everything to our individual tastes, it made sense that we spent most of our time at home. But I was still aware of how much we probably missed out on too.
The balmy, summer breeze flowing in through my open windows was enough to make me keep driving with no destination in mind.
I was only supposed to drive a few laps around the base of the mountain, possibly stop by Rome’s shop to see if he would make it home for dinner, then go home. But on my third lap, a flickering yellow sign with Lucky’s Tavern written on it caught my eye from the other side of the road. Lured by the charm of the small building, I steered my Bronco into the gravel parking lot and studied the restaurant with a frown.
How many times had I driven past this place and never noticed it? Was it a local hangout? When I cut my engine and checked my watch, I realized it was only a little after one in the afternoon. The few cars in the lot had to be the lunchtime crowd.
Between Lorenzo’s workaholic tendencies and Rome’s preference for being in the house, it was rare that we ever went out. Dinner a couple nights ago was the first time we’d gone out since Enzo’s birthday in February.
And I was suddenly aware of how problematic that was. We had a pretty social life back home in King’s Town. And now we were probably known as the town’s recluses. Maybe it was time for us to change that. And maybe this bar was the perfect place to start.
Shaking my head with a small smile, I snatched my key out of the ignition and flung my door open to hop down.
Parked on my right was a white Audi with blacked out windows. On my left was an old pale blue and white Volkswagen bus. I smirked because those two cars were the perfect representation of Bliss Peak’s demographic.
Inside, my prediction about this place being a local favorite was confirmed when I saw the amount of people cramped around the bar, baskets of food and cold beer sitting in front of them. Deciding not to add to the mayhem, I walked over to the far right wall and started looking for an empty table. I wasn’t that hungry anyway, I just wanted to people watch.
I made it about five steps over the creaking wooden floors before golden blonde curls stole my attention and left me standing a few feet away from her booth.
The woman didn’t notice me, she was too busy fucking up a burger and cheese fries while tapping periodically on her phone screen. She was completely caught up in her own world and I stood there for a second admiring the abandon on her face as she wiggled in her seat with every bite.
And I would have stood right there, admiring the stranger God had placed in my path for the second time in as many days, but someone bumped my shoulder and startled me out of my trance.
“My bad, man. It’s tight in here,” a deep voice said before moving around me.
I didn’t acknowledge him as I inched closer to Goldyn. She sat alone in a booth big enough for five people and looked content to keep it that way.
Clearing my throat, I ignored the persistent thumping behind my ribcage. “Is this seat taken?”
“Hmm?” Goldyn replied absently, grabbing a bunched up napkin to clean her fingertips before she went back to tapping her phone screen.
“Goldyn,” I called.
Her head snapped up and recognition shone in her sultry, amber gaze.
“Oh! Hi. Hi ! Sit down,” she nodded to the section of the booth facing her.
After I took my seat, I stared at her for another beat and didn’t bother hiding the smile on my face.
“Hi, Sincere.”
“Hi, Goldyn .” There was a natural inflection on her name and her smile brightened when she noticed.
Fuck me.
How was she this pretty? So effortlessly?
She pushed her hair away from her eyes and then propped her chin up on her hands, leaning in to me. I bit my lip, not trusting what I would say if I gave in to my instincts right now.
I’d spent the last two days obsessing about seeing this woman again and a random sign on the side of the road led me to her.
“Why do you look so distracted? Is everything okay?” She grabbed a new napkin from the dispenser and wiped at her hand diligently.
I wasn’t distracted, I was awestruck .
With her attention split between me and her task, I took the time to get my shit together and smiled at her.
“What were you doing when I got here? Did I interrupt something?” I asked after a quick glance at her phone, realizing the screen was now black. Even though I knew she might have been busy, I was still selfish enough to hope she didn’t send me away because of it.
“Oh, I was reading,” she answered, her voice airy. “I usually eat alone so I always bring entertainment.”
“Why do you usually eat alone?” I asked, frowning on instinct.
Her face softened at my question, but she didn’t answer it. She asked a question of her own instead. “How are you, Sincere?”
“Better now.” God, I sounded like a middle schooler stammering in front of my crush. But if she noticed, she didn’t let on and sent me a beaming grin.
“I was just asking someone about you and then I saw Romeo earlier.”
I sat forward at that information. Why was I jealous of my best friend when I was sitting here in front of Goldyn now? “You saw Rome?”
“Yea, I went by his shop.” Her voice was light and airy, giving nothing away about their visit.
For a while, I sat there watching her pick at the cheese fries before I found my voice again. “I can’t believe I ran into you here.”
Goldyn’s warm smile was still in place when she picked up her drink and took a long sip through her straw. “Well I’m here every Friday. So now you know where to find me.”
I paused for a minute to take in her lightly made up face and the silk button up and slacks she had on. When she’d asked us what we did for a living, I’d failed to do the same in return. Now I tried to imagine a career that fit her carefree demeanor and was coming up short.
So I just asked. “Where are you coming from?”
“The bank,” she replied in a glum tone. For the first time since I’d walked in, her smile slipped. “I went to check on a business loan and they basically turned me away, saying I wasn’t their ideal borrower.”
“Shit.” The dejected look on her face made my heart sink. “I’m sorry, Goldyn.”
“It is what it is.” She pushed her plate away from her. “But the crazy part is that I spent the past three years paying off debt and saving money and it still doesn’t matter. My business isn’t old enough and my personal credit report doesn’t have enough open accounts to make them trust me. They said I’d need a guarantor or something…” Her voice trailed and I could tell she was trying to keep it light, but it was impossible to miss the disappointment clinging to everything she did.
The subtle slump of her shoulders, the downturn of her pouty lips at the corner, and the faraway look in her eyes. She looked sad and that fucked with me more than it should. I wasn’t responsible for the sadness, and yet, I wanted to play a part in fixing it.
“What was the loan for? If you want to talk about it…” I tried cautiously.
Luckily, Goldyn latched on to the question and launched into an explanation of her dream.
In a matter of minutes, I was swept up in her world and the way she spun words to tell her story. The crowd in the bar thinned out and the quiet that followed allowed me to hear every word falling from those pretty lips.
“I didn’t graduate college until I was twenty-four,” she divulged, sighing. “It took me a while to even want to go after my grandma passed right after I graduated highschool. I deferred my admission as long as they would let me, but when I finally went, it was worth it.
“All through college, I was a bottle girl. Then a bartender. I stayed in the dorms until junior year because I didn’t want to spend money on rent.” A laugh bubbled out of her and just like that I was addicted to the sound. “But by then, I was three to four years older than everybody else, so I got an apartment. When I graduated, I spent the summer using the money I saved from the club to convert a van that had been sitting in my grandma’s backyard for ages.”
Goldyn paused, a fond glint entering her eyes.
“She left it to me and I thought it would be perfect for what I wanted to do. So after I converted it, I hit the road and traveled around the States for two years. I danced for cash at clubs that allowed visitors and then I moved on to the next place. Bliss Peak was the last stop on my “tour.” I had no idea where I was going once I left here, but it’s been a year so I guess I’m here for a while. Not just passing through…”
Looking away, she heaved a sigh that let me know she was done talking for now.
We sat in silence. Me processing everything she’d told me, and Goldyn surveying the bar like it was the first time she was really seeing it.
I knew nostalgia and grief had a unique effect on everyone so I let the moment linger as long as it needed to.
When she finally met my eyes again, I didn’t hide the smile that bloomed on my face.
Lorenzo’s words from a few days ago rang true. Goldy definitely had some self-preservation skills.
“You’re the most fascinating woman I’ve ever met. I love how brave you are.”
“Thank you.” I loved that she didn’t shy away from the compliment. Even if she looked shy accepting it, she accepted it.
Somehow in the time she’d been talking, we’d inched closer and closer to each other until we were sitting side by side. Elbows and shoulders brushing as we fell deeper into the conversation. “So, your van…do you sleep in it during the winter too?” Winters were cold in Bliss Peak. We got a lot of snow and thinking about her shivering in a van didn’t sit right with me.
Goldyn shook her head, mindlessly pressing the home button on her iPhone 8 screen over and over.
Snapped out of her trance, she turned her head to look at me, and notes of cherry and vanilla plagued my senses.
The more I breathed her in, the harder I got and I hoped against hope she didn’t make the wrong move and notice that shit.
“When I was on the road, I stayed in places with warm winters. But last year was my first winter here and luckily I got a seasonal gig at the new resort on the other side of the mountain. Came with meals and a single room.”
Another brief silence passed before I changed the subject.
“What was her name?” I asked, knowing I didn’t need to elaborate.
A tender smile touched her lips, love apparent in the way her eyes softened. “Benita. But everybody called her Bennie. Grandma Bennie.”
“I know she’s proud of you.”
Goldyn’s smile turned rueful. “She’d be more proud if I could do what I said I was going to do. The funny part is that I have plenty of money. I’ve always spent way less than I make, but I know it looks better when a bank is backing me. This isn’t exactly a cash economy.”
“Tell me what you want to do,” I prompted, not wanting her to stop talking.
She reached in her bag, opened a notebook and took me through her plans for Read the Room, a bookstore reading lounge. She told me every detail about the layout, the book and coffee pairings she wanted to curate, and the different seating options she would set up throughout the shop. It sounded exactly like something I would expect from a woman like Goldyn. And now I knew why I couldn’t place her at any other jobs earlier. Because she wasn’t doing the one she was obviously put on this earth to do.
Her breath tickled my forearm when she gave a long exhale. “I just wanna do something that means something.” She met my gaze again. “You know?”
All I could give her was a nod. Because I had yet to find anything outside of my partners that made me light up the way she did talking about her goals. I was still happy she confided in me. It meant everything that she trusted me enough to talk to me for hours about it.
“I want people to have a safe place to just be . Get lost in a book, eat too many pastries and drink too much coffee,” she laughed, the breathy sound making goosebumps dot my skin. “Hey, you never know, maybe one day I’ll be bugging you to make a custom batch of cookies just for my store.”
Icy tendrils of doubt tried to freeze me in place. “W-what?”
“You heard me. You’re an amazing baker. I’d have the best book selection and sweets in town. Now I just have to find a coffee plug. Know anybody?” she asked, not understanding the gravity of her words.
No one had ever wanted to hire me for anything. Mostly because I didn’t put myself out there. I was too scared of rejection to even try.
“I’ll ask around for you,” I said instead of telling her how much her confidence in me shook me sideways. It was one thing to have Enzo and Rome rave about the stuff I made. But Goldyn had no reason to placate me.
“Hmph. I might fail. I might lose all my money and have no customers. But I have to try. I won’t know unless I try, right?”
I won’t know unless I try.
Those words hit me right in the chest.
“What are you thinking?” Goldyn wanted to know.
I didn’t hesitate, knowing a dreamy look was probably plastered on my face. I couldn’t help it if I tried. “I’m thinking I could listen to you talk about your dreams all night.”
Bells chiming above the entrance broke the spell my words had cast and when Goldyn tore her eyes away from the new arrival, the moment had passed.
She stared down at her hands. “It can’t be a vision that only lives inside my head anymore. I know it sounds frivolous to some people, but it’s the only thing I’ve wanted consistently my entire life.”
“So fuck what other people think.”
She gasped, surprised by the force of my words and looked at me with a bemused smile.
“Isn’t that what you told me? Fuck how it looks to other people and do it anyway .”
For the hundredth time, she batted her curls out of her face and smiled bright enough to rival the sun. “Yea, I guess I did say that. But I like how it sounds coming from you instead. I’m gonna buy you a drink.”
Before I could protest and insist on paying for it, she slid out of the booth and walked over to the bar.