19. Goldyn
I turned in a slow circle and looked at the space I’d dreamed about owning for a year. Completely gutted, nothing remained except exposed red brick walls and weathered wood floors.
There was a lot to be done and it was both terrifying and exciting.
Every time I felt myself getting overwhelmed by how much there was to do, I talked myself off the ledge and reminded myself there wasn’t a deadline I had to reach. I could do this as quickly or as slowly as I wanted. Nobody knew my little dream was in progress and until I announced a grand opening date, there was no pressure.
I fell into a squat with a heavy sigh, looking out of the windows facing the street. My van was the only car parked on this end of the block, but I knew if I walked out and turned to the left, I’d see Rome’s car and it brought me peace I didn’t know I needed. His quiet proximity for the past two weeks had been my saving grace, even if he acted put off every time I showed up to take him to lunch.
Having more than one familiar face in this town after years of being on my own was…nice. And I was sure Ms. Ruby was grateful for the break from being the only person I knew.
Sighing, I dropped out of my squat and sat on the dusty floor. The contractor I hired would start at the beginning of next week, building everything I’d doodled in my notebook ages ago. Then once I passed inspections, my designer would come in and make everything pretty.
It was happening. And yet, some part of me was still questioning everything.
Mainly because my original plan of this space being a bookstore bakery cafe would have to be revised. The business license I applied for before I knew what I was doing only allowed me to operate as a bookshop. If I wanted to change that I’d have to get a food vendor license and the health department involved.
When I told Lorenzo about my little hiccup a few nights ago, he’d shrugged while flipping a lamb chop in the skillet and said,
“So we’ll buy the empty space next door and get you the right licenses. Problem solved.”
“But then I’d be responsible for two separate businesses. With two sets of different employees. Two sets of bills. I can’t ? —”
“Watch what you say you can’t do, Goldy,” he interrupted coolly.
Chastised, I clamped my mouth shut and stared at him basting the meat with a spoon. He did it so effortlessly, juggling our conversation and what he was doing like it was nothing.
“So what you’re telling me is that it would be hard. Not impossible.”
“I guess so.” I shifted from foot to foot, avoiding his eyes.
“It seems like you want me to tell you you can’t do it. And I’m never gonna do that, sweetheart. I don’t care what we have to do, we’ll figure it out.”
When I just stared at him, my heart pounding faster than I could form thoughts, Lorenzo reduced the heat on the stove and set his spoon down. “Come here.”
I fell into his embrace without a fight, soaking up the warmth of his touch as I dropped my head back to look up at him.
“You can do hard , Goldy. You wouldn’t be where you are if that wasn’t true. So what’s the difference now?”
“I don’t know, maybe it was just ambitious to think I could pull off both on my first try.”
“Your ambition has never been the problem.” He kissed me, his lips whispering across the bridge of my nose in the sweetest caress. “What you need is to believe you can do it. You and Sin have that in common. It doesn’t matter how many people around you tell you you can do something, if you don’t believe it, it’ll never get done. Is that what you want? For it to never get done?”
When he put it like that…
“No,” I answered, shaking my head as I met his intense gaze.
“Then make up your mind and do it, Goldy. I’ll be here when you’re ready. Money has never been the issue. But I won’t jump unless you tell me to, pretty girl.”
Tears had brimmed in my eyes at the gentle reassurance in his tone. He was so good at speaking life into me and I wondered if he knew that.
My heart felt at home whenever I was around him and I wasn’t sure how it happened so fast, but I knew it had a lot to do with the safe space he held for me without me having to ask.
Every time I needed him, he appeared with a lazy smile on his face and nothing but patience shining in his eyes. No matter what else he had going on with work or Sin or Rome, he always paused to be present for me, and it broke my heart a little to know it would be over in less than three months.
This temporary solace I’d found would be gone and I’d have to learn how to be everything to myself all over again.
Before I could spiral too deep into the pits of dispair, my door opened and the old bell above it chimed, announcing a visitor.
Expecting to see Rome or Sincere, I frowned when my realtor walked in.
Chance Summers was a contact from Lorenzo who made the buying and closing process as seamless as possible. He answered any questions I had and told me he would always be reachable if I decided to expand my portfolio.
Scrambling to my feet, I smoothed my palms over my baggy overalls to clean the dust from them and smiled as he extended his hand.
“Ms. Ambrose. Good to see you.” He shook my hand, holding onto it a little longer than necessary as he studied my face with a mix of curiosity and confusion.
“Hi, Chance.” He was still holding my hand and I had to look down pointedly for him to free me from his grip.
I flexed my clammy fingers and shoved both fists into my deep pockets while he looked me over.
The first time he’d done it when Lorenzo made introductions, I brushed it off. Everyone always told me I had a familiar face and I never cared to help them place where they knew me from.
But every time Chance and I were in the same room, he looked at me like he was seeing through me, and it unsettled something deep within me.
“Can I help you? Or were you just passing by?”
My question seemed to snap him out of his fog, and his light brown eyes focused on me, a smile crinkling his face. “I was just in the neighborhood. But I stopped by because Mr. Davenport tells me you might be interested in the shop next door.”
“Uh…yea, maybe.”
“Just let me know what you need and we’ll get an offer drawn up in no time, just like we did with this place.”
“Thanks,” I answered feebly, still a little put off by the attention he was giving me. Every other time we met, Sincere or Lorenzo or a lawyer was present, acting as a buffer. It wasn’t that I was scared for my safety, it was that I didn’t know why he was so keen on staring at me like I had four heads.
“Where did you say you were from again?” He asked, and it didn’t come out as off-handed as he attempted.
“New Hope.”
He shook his head, a sad smile claiming his features and I relaxed for the first time since he’d walked in. He didn’t look like a threat like this. He looked…morose?
Reaching up to scratch his balding head, he spared me another glance. “Man, you look just like somebody I knew. But I can’t remember where she told me she was from. I swear she could be your twin.”
“I get that a lot,” I chimed in, hoping the words comforted him. “People say I look like somebody they know everywhere I go. I must have at least ten twins walking around out there,” I added with a forced laugh.
Chance nodded, a weary look settling on his face before he rocked back on his heels and sighed. He looked around the gutted shop and I took the opportunity to study him.
He couldn’t have been more than fifty years old. He was on the shorter side, about five-six with a salt and pepper beard and a slim build. He was polished and the Jaguar he pulled up in every time we met told me real estate had been good to him. That and the fact he was a close contact with Lorenzo told me everything I needed to know. The man was well-connected in every sense of the word which made his odd fascination with me even more confusing.
“I’m excited to see what you do with the place,” he said, breaking me out of my thoughts. “I’ll get out your hair, but you have my number if you decide you want to expand next door. Don’t hesitate to use it.”
“I won’t.”
When he left a few minutes later, I pulled my phone out of my pocket to check the time.
Shit. It was five-thirty. I was supposed to be dressed and ready for a date with Sincere at six.
I ran around the shop, grabbing up my purse and checking my phone. Happy to see I still had five percent of my battery left, I typed out a quick message to Sincere and locked up the store.
Me:
Don’t kill me. I lost track of time. I’ll be home in 15. I just need to shower and change clothes.
Sincere:
I could never kill you, love. Drive safe. I’ll be waiting when you get here.
When I pulled out of my parallel parking spot, it was with a smile on my face and my encounter with Chance forgotten.
This had to be the most peaceful date I’d ever been on. We sat in the back of Sincere’s open Bronco, the lake a few feet away from us. The view of the mountains and sunset reflected on the surface of the water was hard to pull my eyes away from, but when Sincere grasped my chin and extended a fork in my direction, I made an exception.
The cinnamon roll melted on my tongue, the cream cheese frosting making my eyes roll to the back of my head.
“God, Sincere. I need you to open a bakery so I can have this every day of my life.”
A smile softened his handsome face as he lowered the fork. “I’ve been thinking about that honestly.”
I swallowed and stared at him wide-eyed. “Wait, really?”
He gave a sheepish nod and looked out at the water, releasing a contemplative sigh.
“Yea, really. Being around you for the past few weeks has got me thinking about a lot.”
I leaned into him, scooting closer to him in the back of the truck. “Thinking about what?”
My head found the perfect resting place on his shoulder and when he dropped his head on top of mine, a smile stretched my lips.
“About finally doing something about my baking. I don’t know, Goldy. Just listening to you talk about your bookstore and everything you want to do with it…I’d kill to be that passionate about something. I know I’m good at things, but I never see them through. I never try because if I don’t try, I can’t fail. And I think it’s finally getting to me.”
“I hear you.”
He drew in a breath, the soft timbre of his voice pulling me in. “I love Lorenzo with everything in me. I know he’d do anything for me. And he has. For years. Everything I want, I get. And I love making sure he’s good. But I’ve always been the only one in our group without something outside of us to occupy my time. He’s a consultant and he loves it. Rome has his shop and he loves it. What can I say I love other than them?”
His voice dipped and the sadness clinging to his words hurt my heart. I hated hearing him like this, but at the same time I was so happy he trusted me enough to speak his truth.
“I’m not complaining. I swear I’m not.”
“I know you’re not,” I offered, my voice quiet as I ran my hand down his forearm until our fingers threaded in a loose grip. “I can see how much you love them. You could never say it and I see it, every day. And your feelings are still valid. You want something that’s just for you and that’s more than fair. I’m sure they’d want the same for you.”
He went quiet, gripping my hand tighter.
“I’m really glad you’re here, Goldy.”
Words caught in my throat, but I nodded against his shoulder, my eyes unfocused as I watched the water with a contented sigh.
“Ready to paint some plates?” Sincere asked after a few beats of silence. His voice was lighter now, the heavy emotion from earlier nowhere to be found.
So, I took his lead and sat up, smiling at him. “Ready when you are.”
A few minutes later, our laughter replaced all the quiet from the first half of the date.
After Sincere laid out an old sheet for us to sit on while we hand painted ceramic saucers and mugs, we got lost in the creative process, racing the waning sun to see who could make the best set.
“I didn’t know you were so competitive, love.” Sincere’s voice had a teasing lilt and I cut my eyes up at him.
“You started it,” I reminded him. “I was perfectly fine making mediocre art in the back of this truck with you and then you had to add in a prize for the winner.”
“Nothing you make could ever be mediocre, Goldy.”
My hand stilled, the paintbrush between my fingers suspended above my saucer, the cute little cherries I was painting forgotten.
“You’re not playing fair when you say things like that. It’s like you want me to be flustered and mess up.”
Sincere threw his head back and laughed. “Damn, that’s what you think of me, Goldy?”
I wanted to answer, but I was stuck. Just sitting there with a goofy grin on my face because he looked so damn good like this. The golden glow of sunset washing over his rich brown skin. His smile. His light. His everything. My heart swelled and damn near burst when he sat his supplies down and patted his lap, a silent invitation for me to come sit on it.
“Come here and kiss me.”
And just that easily, I dropped everything and went to give him what he wanted. Because it was what I wanted too. And when we packed up the car later, headed back to the house, I sat in the passenger seat with a smile plastered on my face because I’d just gone on the best date of my life with a man who didn’t know how much he meant to me.