Chapter 9
9
A man after my own heart . Rick knew it was nothing more than a throwaway phrase used by thousands of people every day, but something about it struck home. Never a truer word spoken in jest was another one of those phrases, though surely Anya could have no idea he’d been nursing a crush on her for more years than was sensible. Of course she couldn’t. There was no way she’d have invited him over if she had so much as a sneaking suspicion of his feelings.
Rick’s hand shook a little and some of the cordial spilled on the counter. He quickly finished filling the glass then looked around for something to mop up the mess. A cloth rested on the corner of the sink and he wiped the counter and the base of the glass before rinsing the cloth under the tap and squeezing it out. ‘I’ll take these over to the table before I make any more mess,’ he said, shooting an apologetic look at Anya as he gathered the glasses and cutlery and beat a quick retreat.
While she busied herself with plates and putting things back in the fridge, Rick grabbed the folder she’d left on the coffee table and pulled out the sheaf of paper he’d tucked inside and pretended to thumb through it. The only reason he was here was to sort out the details of her job. Everything else was just background noise, and as for these supposed feelings for her? What even were they other than the echoes of his lovelorn teenage self? He didn’t know this Anya, not really. She seemed nice enough, but she had enough baggage to fill the hold of a bus. Not that any of it was her fault, but still, her life had been turned upside down in the worst possible way. What she needed was a friend, nothing more.
Personal pep talk over, Rick put the paper back in the folder and set it aside, raising his head to smile as Anya approached with a tray. ‘Here you go.’
‘Looks fantastic, thanks.’ He rested the tray on his lap and waited until Anya had fetched her own and taken a seat in the chair opposite. Picking up the cutlery, he handed a fork and spoon to her then used the fork he’d kept to stir through the delicious-smelling pasta. He took a bite and his stomach gave a little growl of appreciation. ‘This is great.’
Anya gave him a shy smile. ‘It’s nothing really, just whatever I had to hand. My, umm, my budget is a little compromised at the moment.’
‘If this is what you can put together without trying, then I might need some tips. I’ve said I’ll cook dinner for my folks and my brothers later this month.’ He wasn’t a bad cook, just a little lacking in imagination.
‘I’d be happy to go through my recipe books after we’ve eaten. I’m sure we can find something that’ll work. Do you have any particular preferences?’
Rick’s expression turned rueful. ‘I honestly haven’t had time to think about it, it was kind of a spur of the moment suggestion. I’ve been busy lately and felt a bit like I was taking Mum and Dad’s hospitality for granted. ’
‘You’re still at home, then?’
‘I haven’t had a good reason to move out.’ He couldn’t help the defensiveness in his tone.
Anya rested her fork on the edge of her tray. ‘I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m living in a fancy shed at the bottom of my aunt’s garden. I’m hardly in any position to pass judgement on someone else’s circumstances.’
‘Good point. It does feel a bit weird to be the only one still living at home, but I didn’t want a house share and there’s not much else around. It seemed a bit selfish to take on a family home when I don’t need one, even if I could close a sale without getting gazumped by some buy-to-let out-of-towner looking to cash in.’
Anya nodded. ‘I remember talking to Chloe about how difficult things were for her when she was looking to move out.’ She glanced around the room. ‘This was her little haven and she’s given it all up for me.’
Rick leaned forward so he could catch her eye. ‘Hey, it won’t be forever.’
Her laugh was wry. ‘That seems to be my new mantra.’ She sighed. ‘I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, because honestly I can’t think what kind of state I’d be in if Aunt Helen and everyone else hadn’t stepped up. No. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and focus on what I’ve got. Freya and I have a roof over our heads and that’s all that matters for now.’
‘How’s she getting on with… everything?’ As soon as he’d asked the question, Rick wished he could take it back. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.’
Anya sighed again, though it didn’t seem like an unhappy noise. ‘She’s remarkable, really. It feels like she’s coping a lot better than I am most of the time. I’ve sheltered her as much as possible, so she has no idea about?— ’
‘Of course,’ Rick cut in, not wanting to make her go over old ground. He found himself wondering yet again how any man could do what Drew had done. Not just to all the poor people he’d cheated over the years, but to his own wife, his own child. To dig a hole so deep it almost buried them and then take the cowards’ way out when it all got too much.
They ate in silence for a while and by the time Rick had cleared his bowl there was a heavy, satisfied feeling in his stomach. He set his tray on the coffee table and took a sip of his cordial. ‘That was great.’
‘There’s more if you’d like some?’ Anya set her own tray beside his and made as if to stand up.
‘No, no, I’ve had plenty. If there’s enough left, you might as well save it for another day.’
‘Good point. I can’t afford to let anything go to waste.’
His heart ached for her. ‘It won’t take long before you’re back on your feet again.’
Anya seemed to slump a little before catching herself. Straightening her spine, she nodded decisively. ‘No, you’re right, it won’t. It’s all about a fresh start from here on in, and thanks to you sorting me out with a job so quickly, I’ll soon be back on my feet.’
Rick shrugged. ‘No thanks necessary. Besides,’ he said with a grin. ‘After a few days working for Uncle Davy you might be cursing me.’
Anya’s laughter rang out for a second before she covered her mouth with a guilty glance towards the open bedroom door. ‘Perhaps I shouldn’t have agreed to this after all,’ she said in a hushed voice. She stood up. ‘Right, let’s clear these plates and then we can go through the contract and then I’ll try and find you a nice recipe for that dinner you want to make. How does that sound? ’
‘Great, thanks.’
Over a cup of coffee, Rick ran over the terms of the contract and what he thought her main duties would be. ‘The job description can be tweaked once you’ve settled in a bit and you and Davy find a balance, but is there anything in the contract that you’ve got any questions or concerns about?’
Anya scanned over the printed pages in silence for a few minutes before she shook her head. ‘It all looks okay to me, but I honestly wouldn’t know one end of a contract from another.’ She raised her hands to briefly cover her face before looking up at him, all trace of her earlier humour gone. ‘I’m embarrassed to admit the only employment contract I’ve ever seen is when I had a Saturday job at school.’
It was another reminder of how little he knew her. ‘Well, it’s honestly not much different to whatever you would’ve had back then,’ he said, trying to reassure her. ‘But if you want to have someone look over it for you, then feel free.’
Anya shook her head. ‘It’s embarrassing enough having to admit this stuff to you. Who else would I talk to?’
Rick sat forward, his every instinct to offer her some kind of comfort, but he kept his hands locked on his knees. ‘What about Chloe or Issy? They’d understand and wouldn’t judge you.’
‘That’s true, I suppose.’ She tilted her head and gave him a considering look. ‘Wouldn’t it bother you if I asked someone else to look over it?’
‘Why would it bother me? I want you to feel you can trust me, Anya, but given everything you’ve been through, my ego is less important than your need to know it’s all above board.’
She clasped her hands together so tightly the knuckles turned white. ‘I don’t really think you’d try and take advantage of me. ’
God, if Drew Stokes was still alive, Rick would hunt the man down and… he sighed. Always the one to seek conciliation, violence had never been a part of his nature and he wasn’t going to let the ghost of that bastard drag out a new ugly side of him. Swallowing the sudden rush of anger, he gave Anya what he hoped was a reassuring smile. ‘Arming yourself with the right knowledge means you’ll know for sure that I’m not. Trust is to be earned, Anya, not given away freely.’
She huffed out a breath. ‘And where the hell were you ten years ago when that little nugget of wisdom would’ve been useful?’
I was right there, you just didn’t notice me. Rick brushed the thought aside. ‘Look, it’s not like I know more than you, I simply know different things to you. I’ve had to learn about contracts because of my job and my role on the council. When we get planning applications through, half the time I can’t make head nor tail of them, so I ask someone who understands, and each time I learn a little bit more. Not enough to be an expert, but enough to get by.’
‘But that’s the problem,’ she burst out. ‘I never wanted to learn! Things were so hard after Dad left. Mum did her best but we had to scrimp and scrape and I hated it. Hated not being able to go to the shops with my friends and buy the latest fashions or waste money on magazines and make-up. My Saturday job wasn’t to earn pocket money, it was to help Mum make ends meet.’
Rick shook his head. ‘I had no idea. You always seemed so sophisticated compared with the local girls. Always so stylish and put together. I can’t say I was ever a connoisseur of high fashion, but your clothes always looked fantastic.’
A shocked gasp escaped her. ‘You can’t be serious? ’
Rick shrugged. ‘I was a teenage boy from the back of beyond, what did I know? But, yeah, I thought you had it all.’
‘One of the only subjects I really enjoyed at school was textiles because I learned how to sew my own clothes. I would raid the charity shops and look for things I could adapt to fit me or pull apart and create a new outfit from scratch.’ She sighed. ‘When Drew came along, I guess I was all too willing to be swept off my feet. I liked being looked after, and though it shames me to admit it, I liked the idea of money being no object.’
‘I can see why that would appeal.’ He said it more out of politeness than any specific understanding of her experience. There’d been times when he was sure his parents must have struggled with feeding and clothing four voracious teenage boys who’d been on a permanent growth spurt, but Rick had never felt like they’d lacked for anything growing up. Sure, they didn’t jet off on foreign holidays, but that was because his parents had always both worked and the summer was the busiest time in the Quay. And who needed Spain, anyway, when there were miles of golden sandy beaches on the doorstep? Rick had learned to swim and sail and there had always been endless places to explore. They’d built dens in the sand dunes, scrambled up and down the cliffs with no sense of personal danger, until Ed’s accident at least. They’d gone from rock pooling to crabbing to deep sea fishing trips and loved them all.
‘Can you? Because when I look back now, I wonder what on earth I was thinking.’ She shook her head. ‘Truth is I was only thinking about myself.’
Rick rubbed the back of his neck, not sure what to say. It was clear Anya was still wrestling with the demons of her past, and there was nothing he could do to help her with that. ‘But things have changed and now you’re thinking about Freya and what’s best for her. Didn’t you say before that she’s all that matters?’
Anya nodded. ‘Yes. Yes, you’re right. Sorry, I shouldn’t be dragging you into all my drama, you’ve already gone above and beyond, helping me find a job so quickly.’
Though he didn’t like to hear her talking herself down, Rick couldn’t deny he was relieved at the opportunity to turn the conversation back onto safer ground. ‘Like I said to you on the phone, it’s the best of both worlds. It gives you a bit of time to settle in and it helps Davy carry on working, which is what he wants to do.’
‘I’m not sure I’ll be much of a help, but I’ll give it my best shot.’ Not exactly a statement of confidence on her part, but at least she was willing to give it a go.
‘Great. And don’t worry about Uncle Davy; you’ll find a way to handle him, I’m sure. Now, speaking of helping, shall we have a look at your cook books and see if you can find an idiot-proof recipe for me?’