Chapter 16
16
‘Here are your coffees and your salad,’ Issy said, startling not only Anya but Rick, judging by the way he snatched his hand out of hers. Anya didn’t take offence as she’d done exactly the same thing. Good grief, what had come over her just now, holding hands with him in public where anyone could see them ? Clearly Issy had seen more than enough, from the way she was grinning as she placed everything on the table.
‘Give me a shout when you want me to make up your sandwiches, okay?’ Not content with that cheesy grin, she actually winked at Anya.
‘Thanks,’ she muttered, looking away before her entire face burst into flames. She immediately locked eyes with a pair of older ladies who didn’t even pretend to hide their interested stares. My God, it would be round the village in no time! Panicked adrenaline sent Anya shooting to her feet. The sudden movement made the legs of her chair scrape on the floor, the sound drawing more eyes in their direction. ‘Actually, I’d better get back, so if you can make those sandwiches up for me now, please?’ She pressed a hand to the sudden tightness in her chest.
Issy frowned. ‘You haven’t even touched your coffee…’
‘ Now , please?’ Anya begged.
Clearly sensing her unease, Issy nodded and hurried back to the counter.
‘Is everything okay?’ Rick had his hands braced on the table as he stared up at her.
‘Oh God, don’t you get up too; everyone’s already staring at us!’ she hissed at him.
Rick’s mouth twitched at the corner. ‘I doubt that they are, but what does it matter anyway? We haven’t done anything wrong; we’re just two friends having a cup of coffee together.’
Anya shot him a beseeching look. Why didn’t he understand how serious this was? ‘I can’t be the centre of attention, Rick. I just can’t.’
The half-smile that had been teasing his lips immediately fell away. ‘Of course. I should’ve thought, I’m sorry. If you want to forget about?—’
‘No!’ she cut him off, the panicky feeling inside growing worse at the idea she’d put him off already.
She should’ve said no, should’ve turned him down gently because, my goodness, if this was her reaction then she was clearly in no fit state to seriously contemplate dating anyone. But he was so kind she just had the sense that everything would be okay if he was near. He was so tall and his chest was so broad her fingers itched to smooth a wrinkle in his shirt just for the chance to see if he was as muscular as he appeared. And how had she not noticed before how soulful his deep brown eyes were?
Something else stirred inside her, a richer, deeper tug underneath the bubbling anxiety, and she felt her breath catch in a different way. Rick Penrose . Rick. Penrose. All this time and he’d been right under her nose. Her pulse thudded so hard she raised a hand to her throat, sure he must be able to see it. ‘No, just give me some time to get my head around everything, okay?’
He nodded. ‘Okay. Can I maybe call you later?’
She smiled, relieved that he was being so understanding. ‘Yes, that would be lovely.’
He picked up her cup and handed it to her. ‘Don’t forget this.’
‘Thanks.’ She took the coffee to be polite, but there was no way she was going to drink it now. Adding caffeine to the absolute mess of nerves and desire inside her would likely bring on a heart attack. Anya was relieved that Issy had a large paper bag waiting for her with the sandwiches and cakes. She took it without a word and hurried for the door, keeping her gaze locked on the floor.
It was only once she got outside that the tightness in her chest began to ease and she could breathe again. The moment she was out of view of the café’s big picture windows she sank down onto the low wall that ran along the edge of the seafront. There were plenty of people out and about on the beach, but it was nowhere near as busy as it had been at the weekend. The sand closest to the high tide line was covered in towels and umbrellas, a few windbreaks here and there (though there was barely a puff of breeze) hammered firmly in to mark out territory. Just a couple of feet further back, there was plenty of space, and the families and couples sitting there were much more spread out. She never understood why some people were determined to be as close to the water as possible, like the ones who crammed into the parking spaces nearest to the door in the supermarket. Give her a bit of room anytime, even if it meant walking a few extra feet.
She watched the comings and goings on the beach for a few minutes, smiling at the shrieks from a couple of little girls who had raced into the sea carrying bright pink inflatables only to turn and scurry out of the shallows as the coldness of the water registered. It would take several weeks of consistent sunshine to warm it by a few degrees, and even then it would be a shock until you got used to it. Anya loved that feeling, the bravery it took to keep striking out into the chilly waves, knowing dabbling about on the edge would only take you longer to become accustomed. She’d have to do the same if she was really going to give things with Rick a chance. All in or not at all. It wouldn’t be fair to Freya otherwise. If they fiddled around and took things too slow, she’d get used to him being around and then it would be much harder on all of them if things didn’t work out. The tug in her belly earlier told her there might be chemistry, but there was only one way to find out. The thought of being intimate with another man was equal parts scary and exciting. Since Drew’s death, it was like that part of her had switched off completely. Though she found herself attracted to Rick, what if she couldn’t turn it back on again? The thought of leading him on and then letting him down was almost as bad as the fear of Freya getting too attached.
Her phone buzzed and she set the bag of sandwiches on the wall to retrieve it. It was a WhatsApp message from Issy.
Issy
What was that all about?? Are you okay??
Before she had a chance to reply, the words Kat is typing… appeared on the screen and Anya winced. Issy hadn’t just sent the message to her, she’d sent it to their group chat by mistake.
Kat
What’s happened?
Anya
False alarm, everything’s fine
If she’d thought that would head things off at the pass, Issy had other ideas. Apparently her first message hadn’t been a mistake after all, because her response immediately popped up.
Issy
Anya and Rick were holding hands just now in the café!!
Chloe
Whhhaaaaaatt???
Oh God, they’d all seen it.
Chloe
Details! I demand alllll the details!!
She was tempted to ignore them all, but she knew she’d never get a moment’s peace until she said something. Yes there was lots to be nervous about, but if she was going to take a chance, then she doubted there was a better man than Rick to do it with. Taking a deep breath, she sent a reply.
Anya
Rick and I are going to start dating. NBD.
Issy is typing…
Kat is typing…
Chloe is typing…
Before any of their responses could land, Anya hastily added one more message.
Anya
Not a word, or I’ll block you all!
It was an empty threat, of course, but the three typing bubbles subsided. Shaking her head, Anya tucked her phone away and picked up the bag of sandwiches. She wasn’t na?ve enough to think that would keep them quiet for long; no doubt the three of them had opened a private chat and were gossiping away behind her back. Fine with her. As long as they weren’t bombarding her with questions, she could think things through. Rick would be calling her later to set up their first date and she needed to know exactly what she was going to say to him.
Though she’d known she’d have to discuss it with her friends eventually, she still couldn’t believe it when there was a tap at the door not five minutes after she’d finished putting Freya to bed that evening. She glanced up to find the three of them grinning at her through the glass. Issy was holding a couple of pizza boxes and both Kat and Chloe were clutching bottles of Prosecco. Kat raised her bottle and her muffled voice came through the glass. ‘Hurry up, this is getting warm!’
Anya rose and walked to the door but instead of opening it, she turned the lock and yanked the curtain closed, blocking them out. ‘Go away!’
‘Boo!’
‘Spoilsport!’
‘Come on, Annie, let us in!’
Sighing, Anya pulled back the curtain and burst out laughing at the three exaggeratedly sad expressions that greeted her. She rolled her eyes and unlocked the door. ‘If I let you in, you have to promise to keep the noise down,’ she warned them. ‘I’ve just got Freya down for the night.’
‘We’ll be quiet as mice,’ Chloe promised as she all but pushed her way in. At least she paused long enough to peck a kiss on Anya’s cheek.
‘I got Four Seasons and a Margherita,’ Issy said, also stopping to give her a kiss. ‘Where’s the plates?’
‘Top right cupboard,’ Anya replied automatically as she grinned at Kat, who at least had the decency to look a little shame-faced about the group ambush. ‘I thought better of you, Katrina.’
‘It was Chloe’s idea,’ she admitted, giving Anya a one-armed hug. ‘We’ll go away if you really want us to.’
‘No we won’t,’ Anya’s cousin mock-whispered from the little kitchenette where she’d opened another cupboard and was pulling out wine glasses. Well, to call them glasses was to ignore the fact they were brightly coloured pieces of plastic that looked like they belonged in a picnic set rather than having been designed to grace any dinner table. Given Anya didn’t have a dinner table and they were eating takeaway pizza, she supposed they were exactly right for the occasion.
They gathered around the coffee table, Issy and Kat on the sofa, Anya in the chair and Chloe happy to sit on the floor. She filled their glasses and handed them out.
‘What shall we drink to?’ Issy asked as she accepted hers.
‘The four of us being together again,’ Kat suggested.
Chloe nodded. ‘Yes.’ She raised her glass and they followed suit. ‘To us!’
‘To us!’ they echoed.
‘And,’ Chloe added with a sly grin, ‘to Annie’s soon-to-be-revived sex life. ’
Anya gasped. Kat just about swallowed before letting out a choked laugh. Poor Issy turned red, waved her hand in front of her face and eventually had to resort to spitting the mouthful of fizz she couldn’t get down back into her glass. ‘Oh my God!’ she exclaimed, wiping away tears. ‘ Chloe !’
Chloe’s expression was all wide-eyed innocence. ‘What? Don’t you think it’s something to celebrate? At least one of us is going to be having some fun. It’s been such a long time since my nether regions saw any action, my poor lady garden is so overgrown I’m going to need to get Monty Don in to sort it out.’
They all laughed until Anya suddenly remembered Freya and shushed them. ‘It’s funny actually because I was thinking about it earlier.’
‘What? You were thinking about having sex with Rick when the only update we’ve had so far is that the two of you were holding hands? I feel like we’ve missed a few steps in this story.’ Kat leaned forward, eyes eager, the pizza on her plate forgotten. ‘Tell us everything !’
Anya shook her head at the overly dramatic tone. ‘No, you haven’t missed anything, or at least I’ve kind of rushed ahead in my brain. I know after everything that’s happened I should probably take things slowly?—’
Chloe grimaced. ‘Why the hell should you? You’re only twenty-seven, Anya; you deserve to enjoy yourself.’
‘There is Freya to consider in all this,’ Issy pointed out. ‘Anya can’t just throw caution to the wind like we can.’ She gave a self-deprecating laugh. ‘Although chance would be a fine thing!’
Anya nodded. ‘Exactly, but I’m almost thinking the opposite, like maybe Rick and I shouldn’t hang around too long before we figure out if we’re compatible in bed, because I don’t want Freya to become too attached and then I find out?—’
‘What? That he’s all sports car on the outside but only a two- stroke engine under the bonnet?’ Chloe pulled a face as they all giggled again. ‘God, we need to stop talking about this – he is my cousin.’
Kat shot her an amused look. ‘Come on now, you were the one who brought it up, and Anya’s got a point. It’s best to find out these things sooner rather than later.’ She turned to Issy. ‘Remember that gorgeous surfer I met a couple of summers ago?’
Issy chuckled. ‘I remember the disappointed call I got from you the morning after you’d finally persuaded him to shimmy out of his wetsuit.’
‘The sea can be quite cold, even in the summer,’ Chloe pointed out, though she was grinning from ear to ear.
‘Unless he’d been surfing in the Antarctic, I’m afraid there was no hope.’ Kat heaved a huge sigh. ‘And it wouldn’t have been the end of the world if he’d at least been a bit creative.’
Issy snorted. ‘What were you expecting from the poor man, a puppet show?’
Kat shrugged. ‘Wouldn’t have hurt.’
Anya pressed her hand to her side where a stitch was forming because she’d been laughing so much. ‘I don’t want to start speculating about Rick like that, it’s disrespectful. I just meant that if we don’t gel in the bedroom then it’s kind of a non-starter.’ She took a big swig of her Prosecco. ‘And the problem might not be with him, anyway.’ She looked around at her friends, knowing she could trust them and yet still struggling to find the words to express how she was feeling. ‘Drew was… he was the only person I’ve ever been with. I don’t know how to be with anyone else.’ She gulped at her fizz again. ‘What if I can’t?’
‘Oh, sweetheart!’ Chloe rose up on her knees and leaned over to hug her. ‘Is that what you’re worried about?’
Anya nodded. ‘You probably think I’m being silly. ’
Issy set down her glass and reached across the table to take her hand. ‘It’s not silly at all. It’s completely understandable. But if I can offer you a bit of advice, talk to Rick. He’s a good guy and he’ll want to do the right thing. Give him the information he needs to be able to do that; don’t make him second-guess because you’re too embarrassed to admit to him what you have to us.’
Kat come over to sit on the arm of Anya’s chair and put an arm around her. ‘I agree. Whatever else, you can always trust Rick.’