28. Hope
28
HOPE
A lec and I had been inside his room for a total of two minutes—him sitting at his computer chair checking his messages and me pacing the floor behind him without him noticing—before I announced, “We should go out. Let’s go out to eat. Aren’t you hungry?”
My brother glanced up in surprise. “You want to go to supper? Right now? We just had Froyo.”
“But you’re a bottomless pit who’s always hungry,” I pressed, jostling the side of his arm in encouragement.
He thought that through before lifting his brows and admitting, “This is true.”
“So let’s go out.” Because no way could I remain under the same roof as Parker for much longer without having a complete nervous breakdown.
He hadn’t called or texted once since I’d left him at the hotel dead asleep. I mean, that might be because I’d left him without even the courtesy of a goodbye. And I hadn’t messaged him either. But I’d kind of thought—Hoped? Dreaded?—that he’d contact me in some way, even if it was to say something rude and sarcastic like You’re welcome. Don’t mention it. Glad I could be of service with that bucket list .
But there’d been nothing. And it was driving me crazy.
“Ooh!” I said suddenly, gripping Alec’s shoulder. “Oaklynn said she and Damien got into V-Eleven with no problems on Tuesday, didn’t she? Let’s go and see if we can get in too!”
He contorted his face with indecision. “I don’t know. What if we show up, and they’re like, no…” Affecting his voice into a pretentious highbrow, he lifted his nose as he kept mocking. “You’re not on the list. Get lost before I call security.”
“That actually sounds kind of fun too. I’ve never been kicked out of a restaurant before.” I’d totally add it to my bucket list if we were. “Now we really have to go,” I pressed. “Besides, why would Grumpy allow Damien and Oaklynn a reservation pass, and not you ?”
He nodded as if that made sense, but he still looked reluctant. “Man, Mom would be so jealous if she learned I got in there.”
“Hey, why don’t we just invite her to come with us,” I suggested, realizing I hadn’t stopped by to see Nina since landing in Westport. I’d been so busy trying to cram in as much time with Alec and bucket list activities that I’d forgotten about his sweet mother. A little ashamed about that, I nudged his arm. “Yeah, let’s. We can swing by and pick her up on the way.”
“Okay. Sure.” He seemed to like that idea. “I’ll give her a call.”
As he grabbed his phone and dialed his mother, I heard the faint rumble of a truck engine through the walls, so I wandered over to the high-set windows in Alec’s room and lifted onto my toes as I shifted the curtain aside with a single finger to see out.
My heart fluttered as Parker’s white Ford Raptor pulled away from the curb and took off down the street.
Was he escaping because of me? Had I scared him away?
Disappointment assailed me because I hadn’t gotten more time with him, even as I snorted, “Coward,” under my breath.
Not that I was any better. I hadn’t exactly paused to have a conversation with him when I’d come in the back door either. My heart had been thumping too hard, and my mind had gone blank of everything except the memories of us being naked together.
Dammit. Why had I not thought through the fallout better than this? I’d been so sure that everything could just go back to normal. Parker had never been the type to give anyone any kind of differential treatment. I’d assumed it’d be business as usual the next time I saw him.
I hadn’t counted on the fact that I would be the one to wig out and be unable to act naturally in his presence, though.
Everything inside me had coiled hot and ready in the pit of my stomach the moment my gaze had landed on him. I swear, I could feel him inside me again with his hands in my hair and breath in my ear.
Touching my lips, I relived all the different ways he’d kissed me in my head. The frenzied and urgent, starving and desperate for more; the languid and unrushed savoring; the teasing nips that turned into outright torture.
I shuddered abruptly and rubbed my suddenly chilled arms as I turned away from the window.
Alec was just getting off the phone. “She’s in,” he told me, beginning to look excited about our night out.
“Great!” I said, even though my reason for wanting to escape Archer House was no longer valid. “Let’s go.”
My brother paused, glancing down at his worn, Save Ferris T-shirt and weathered jeans. “Um… Should we change first?”
I paused. “Is there an enforced dress code there?”
Alec lifted one shoulder with a clueless shrug. “No idea.”
After thinking it through, I decided, “Screw it. Let’s just go.”
With a somewhat nervous laugh, Alec glanced at the ceiling, briefly addressing it. “Why do I have a feeling this is going to be one incredibly interesting supper?”
“Because—hello— I’m going to be there,” I answered as if that should be obvious while I looped my arm through his. Then I urged him toward the door. “Let’s do this.”
He grumbled what sounded like a prayer under his breath as we made our way into the hallway.
“I hope there’s lots of fancy, pretentious stuff on the menu,” I announced. “Because that’s exactly what I’m getting.”
“Hudson said their lobster bisque was the best he’d ever tasted.”
“Sounds good. But, ooh, what about caviar?” I asked, leading him up the stairs. I’d never had caviar before, so I mentally added it to my bucket list. “I’m totally ordering it if they have it.”
“That sounds disgusting,” Alec argued with a grimace. “I heard caviar tastes like fishy ocean water. You could just go to the beach and drink a cup of the Gulf for free instead of paying?—”
He broke off abruptly when we reached the top of the stairs because, from the couch, Xander had turned to watch us pass through.
Jarring to a halt, Alec gaped at her, obviously having forgotten that she lived on that couch now, even though we’d literally seen her there ten minutes earlier. We’d even cringed at each other and stopped talking in order to tiptoe toward the stairs so she wouldn’t notice us.
“O-oh,” he stuttered, forcing a smile and waving in greeting. “Hey.” Then, motioning between me and himself, he said, “We were just going out to eat. Do you—uh—do you want to come?”
I lifted my brows curiously at the fumbling invitation, and when he sent me a help expression, I jumped in to support him. “Yeah,” I told Xander. “It might feel nice for you to get out into some fresh air and stretch your legs a little.”
Xander blinked at me. Her eyes were red and bloodshot as if she’d just been crying. After I glanced at Hope Floats that she had paused on the television behind her, I knew she’d been watching the scene where the poor daughter had gotten rejected by her dad, the prick.
“I—I guess,” Xander finally answered, making me whirl back to her in surprise.
Alec straightened in alarm. “Really?” he blurted, only to flush. “I mean—” He shook his head and forced a smile. “That’d be great. Yeah. Thank you.”
Thank you ?
I furrowed my brows in question, and he glanced at me helplessly as if asking me why he’d just said that.
Gah, but he was so adorable when he got flustered. I squeezed his arm in support while Xander glanced down at the stained shirt and sweat shorts she was wearing.
“Can I go change first?” she asked.
“Uh—sure,” Alec rushed to say. “Yeah. Whatever you want. Anything.”
It probably wouldn’t kill her to run a brush through her hair either. Not that either my brother or I mentioned as much.
“Okay,” she answered with more certainty as she rose to her feet. “Give me five minutes.”
She appeared to be more alert and human than I’d seen her look in the past week as she made her way around the couch before ascending the stairs to the upper level.
As soon as we heard her bedroom door close, Alec turned to me, petrified. “What did I just do?”
“You invited her to supper,” I told him the obvious and then jostled his arm teasingly. “And she said yes.”
“But w-w-why did she say yes?” he demanded, appearing to be in shock. “I totally did not expect her to say yes. I was just trying to be nice and make her feel included. Oh my God, what if I can’t afford whatever meal she orders?”
I made a face. “Why would you have to pay for her meal?”
“Because I invited her?” he hissed, widening his eyes at me dramatically.
“Okay, breathe ,” I instructed calmly. “First of all, you do not have to pay for her meal. This is not a date, and she knows that. I mean, you’re bringing your sister and freaking mother along.”
“Oh my God, my mom ,” he remembered, his eyes widening with horror. “I just invited her to eat with my mother.”
“It’ll be fine,” I assured, slugging his arm to buck him up. “Your mom’s the best. Besides, I’m going to be there, next to you, the entire time. I’ll help keep the conversation flowing and the awkwardness to a minimum.”
For him, I’d do anything.
“You better,” he warned with an insistent hiss. “Don’t even leave me to go to the bathroom, or I swear to God—hey, are you ready?” he asked smoothly, interrupting himself with a ready smile when Xander appeared at the top of the short stairway.
She’d changed into a white supper dress with ivory flowers embroidered into the hem, and her hair looked glossy and sleek as if she hadn’t just had it full of rats and stray food for the past week.
Her eyes still looked hollow and dark as if she hadn’t slept in a month, but the damn girl was still too gorgeous for her own good. I could practically hear Alec swallowing his tongue as his new roommate nodded mutely and started down the steps toward us.
I nudged him to get him to stop gawking, and he turned to me with wide, frightened eyes, whispering, “Why can’t I stop sweating?”
I smiled, glad I was getting to see him like this. Alec had never really shown romantic interest in anyone before. I’d been worried that I might never see him fall in love. But I’d definitely settle for watching him flustered and stuttering over a crush. He looked so very alive at that moment, and it made me happy.
“I hope you don’t mind,” I told Xander since I’m sure Alec had already forgotten. Again. “We’re picking up Alec’s mom on the way.”
“Oh.” She faltered a step, looking put on the spot as she glanced between me and Alec. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize I was interrupting a family dinner.”
“What? No! No…” Alec rushed to assure her, waving his hands. “You’re not.” Then he flushed. “I mean, they’re both my family.”
“But not mine ,” I added smoothly. “He and I are half-siblings.” I hooked my arm through his, and he sank gratefully against me. “Same dad, different moms. His mom Nina is actually cool, though. Unlike mine, who’s a raging bitch.”
Xander merely blinked at us before slowly answering, “Okay.”
“Great,” I added before an awkward silence could ensue. After digging up my key fob for the Lucid Air, I tossed it at Alec. “You’re driving.”
He fumbled to catch it, and when he did, he widened his eyes at me to let me know he’d murder me later, but not in front of Xander, and then he forced a smile before answering, “Alright, then. Great. Are we ready?”
At the car, I asked Xander if she wanted to sit in the front, but she declined, which meant, she got to sit next to Nina when we stopped by her bungalow ten minutes later.
“Nina!” I shrieked, flinging open my car door as soon as we pulled up to the curb where she was already waiting on the sidewalk for us.
I was probably going to go to hell for liking my dad’s mistress more than I did my own mother, but Nina was frankly impossible to hate. And besides, she hadn’t known he was married the one time they’d hooked up.
“Well, my goodness. Just look at you,” she murmured, opening her arms. “Still as pretty as a picture. Bring it in, child.”
I sank into her embrace, closing my eyes and appreciating the fact that she held me a few seconds longer than a normal person would.
“Oh, I’m so happy I get to see you again,” she said, cupping my face for a moment so she could smile into my eyes. “I’ve missed you, girl.”
“I missed you too,” I said honestly.
“And good gracious,” she exclaimed, blinking down at the Lucid Air. “Is this thing yours?”
I laughed. “Oh, no. Not even. It’s just a loaner from Parker.”
“Ah.” Nina nodded in understanding. “Makes sense.”
When she reached for the back passenger door, however, Alec popped out, saying, “Over here, Mom.”
She looked at him in confusion as he opened the back driver’s side door, only for the back passenger door to open as well, from the inside.
Blinking, Nina pulled back and gaped at the stunning blonde who emerged. “Here, ma’am,” Xander offered politely. “You can get in over here. I’ll run around to the other side.”
Nina stared mutely, so I introduced, “This is Xander, by the way. Alec’s new roommate. She didn’t have anything to do this evening, so we wrangled her into coming along with us. Hope you don’t mind.”
“O-oh…” Nina blurted, recovering quickly. “Of course not. The more the merrier. It’s so nice to meet you, dear. I’m Nina.” When she pulled Xander into a greeting hug, she widened her eyes at her son over the girl’s shoulder and mouthed the word, “ Wow .”
To Xander, she pulled back again, saying, “You are just too cute for words. I can’t believe Alec failed to mention how beautiful you were when he told me about his new roommate.”
Both ladies turned simultaneously in Alec’s direction.
In response, he cleared his throat and flushed. “My bad,” he mumbled.
When we reached the restaurant, a valet driver appeared to take our car, but Alec freaked out, not trusting a stranger with Parker’s baby.
“Ohrley would kill me if I let anything happen to this thing,” he decided. “Why don’t I let you three out here, and I’ll meet you inside after I park.”
So Nina, Xander, and I started toward the ma?tre d’, looking severely underdressed compared to all the other patrons. But the woman who smiled at us in greeting didn’t bat an eyelash. “Welcome,” she said in a thick Texas accent. “Can I get your name, please?”
“Hope Langston for four,” I said automatically, cringing when I remembered that I should’ve said Alec’s name instead. No way on God’s green earth would Parker add me to his special list.
And yep, a second after the ma?tre d’ scanned the list, she winced. “I’m so sorry, darlin’. I don’t see your—” She turned the page and immediately brightened. “Oh! Here you are.”
“What? Really?” I said, shifting forward, hoping to get a peek.
He’d probably put me on the permanently banned list.
But the woman only smiled when she looked up at me. “As soon as the last member of your party arrives, I’ll show you up to the VIP lounge where you can get started with your drinks while we set up a table for you.”
My stomach fluttered with nerves, but all I did was nod and answer, “Thank you. That, uh, that would be great.”
Then I turned to both Nina and Xander who widened their eyes at me and mouthed, “VIP?”
“I know!” I whispered, silently squealing along with them. But this was so awesome.
He’d put me on the list.
Parker had actually considered me important enough to add to the list with the rest of his closest friends. My chest went tight, and suddenly I couldn’t breathe so well.
I almost started crying right there in that stupid fancy restaurant.
Damn him. He was supposed to be a jerk all the time. It threw me off track when he did nice shit. It reminded me too much of last weekend when?—
“Hey, we haven’t been thrown out yet,” Alec said in surprise as he joined us.
“We’re getting a VIP table,” Nina hissed to him in excitement.
“Really?” Glancing at me, he nudged my arm, impressed. “Wow. Did you call that or what?”
An hour later, I nearly gagged as I swallowed a mouth full of wild sturgeon eggs. “Oh my God…” I gulped down half of my glass of lemonade, then turned to my brother who was sitting on my right. “Quick. Let me have a taste of your bisque.”
With a snort, he lifted his elbow and blocked me. “I don’t think so. I warned you the caviar would be nasty.”
“Alec,” I whined, blinking at him pathetically.
He sighed. “Oh, alright.” Lowering his arm, he frowned as I dipped my own spoon into his bowl. “Just don’t take it all.”
“Mmm. Oh God. This is good. This is really, really good,” I moaned, rolling my eyes and reaching for another taste.
Slumping back in defeat, Alec mumbled, “Yeah, help yourself.”
“Thanks.”
To my left, Xander was eyeing my spread curiously. “I’ve never tried caviar either. What’s it like?”
“Oh, you can have it,” I told her with a mouthful of Alec’s soup as I slid the plate her way.
“Can I try a bit too?” Nina wondered.
“Sure,” Xander answered, situating the plate between the two of them.
“Well, I can’t be the only one here who doesn’t try it,” Alec grumbled.
So while the three of them spread a cracker with caviar, I pulled Alec’s bisque over in front of me to eat more.
“Huh,” Xander murmured, replying first after they all took a bite in unison. “It has a nuttier flavor than I was expecting.”
“And buttery,” Alec added with a nod, to which Xander pointed at him in agreement.
“Ugh. It’s disgusting,” Nina exclaimed, making a face before she politely set her cracker down and then wiped her mouth with a napkin.
“Yes,” Alec said, nodding mildly. “That too. With a slight overtone of pond bog.”
Xander coughed a laugh into her fist, and her eyes watered as she admitted, “I think I might puke.”
Alec nudged her water toward her, and she swiped it up without any additional prompting. Nina quickly followed suit, and within moments, all three of them were chugging together liberally, only to pause and giggle over the whole experience.
They were so freaking cute together.
It assured me that they’d be okay after I was gone. My baby brother had people who’d be there for him; he’d be just fine. But watching them also made a sliver of pain pierce my chest. I wanted to say I was going to miss this, but I wasn’t going to be missing much of anything, was I?
I swallowed thickly and set my spoon down, suddenly losing my appetite.
As if her spidey mom senses had been activated, Nina glanced over.
Reading all the pain in my eyes, she set a hand against her chest and said, “Hope dear, do you think you could assist me with something in the bathroom for a minute?”
She looked ill enough as she made the request that Alec straightened in worry. “You okay, Mom?”
“Oh…yes. Of course.” She laughed a little at herself as she pushed her way to her feet. “It’s nothing Hope can’t help me with.”
“Okay,” her worried son murmured in confusion before sending me a questioning glance. I waved an unconcerned hand, letting him know I could handle this, and he relaxed, only to glance at Xander and realize he was about to be left alone with her.
His eyes flared briefly, so I set a hand on his shoulder as I passed by to follow his mother, squeezing to let him know he’d be okay.
“What’s wrong?” I asked Nina as soon as I followed her into the quiet and overly fancy bathroom.
Instead of confessing some malady she was experiencing, she pulled me into another hug. “I just thought you should know, Liz called me.”
I jerked right back out of her arms.
She nodded sadly. “Last Monday. Probably the moment you boarded the plane to Westport.”
“I—” I blinked, confused, and shook my head. “I didn’t realize you two still spoke.”
With a mirthful laugh, she answered, “Not if we can help it. But I think she was worried.” She winced in apology. “She told me everything.”
When she gripped my arm in support, I heaved in a deep breath that lifted my shoulders and made my chest hurt.
“Oh,” I mumbled, seeing vague black spots in my vision.
“Honey, why haven’t you told Alec yet?”
“I don’t—” I shrugged lamely and felt my chin tremble. But I refused to cry, so I sucked all the sad shit back in and lifted my shoulders to pull myself back together. “I don’t want to upset him,” I started. “I don’t want to worry him. I just—I want to finish this on a good note. You know? I want to live the rest of my life… living . Not just dying.”
When she squeezed my hand supportively, I grimaced at her. “You think I should tell him, don’t you?”
She smiled sadly, and a couple of tears collected in her eyes. “I really do. It’s going to kill him when he finally learns the truth. He’s going to wish he had appreciated the time he had with you more. He’s going to resent you for not telling him sooner.”
I laughed unsteadily and then looked away, clearing my throat which had gone raw. “No one appreciates their time with me as much as Alec does. I don’t know how he could appreciate it more .”
“Sweetie, he deserves to know.”
“I just—” I shook my head. “I can’t,” I pleaded to her with my eyes. “If he knew, I could no longer pretend it’s not happening. It’d turn real.”
She sighed in disagreement but then nodded. “I understand. I really do. I get it. I still wish you’d tell him, but I’ll respect your wishes not to.”
“Thank you,” I croaked and opened my arms for another hug. “Thank you so much.”
“Oh, honey,” she sobbed, stepping into my arms readily. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Squeezing her tighter, I wished my own mother could’ve been more like her.
“And if you need anything, anything at all,” she commanded as she pulled back to grip my arms so she could look into my eyes. “You call me, you hear?”
I smiled. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Good.” Clearing her throat, she glanced toward the mirrors over the sinks and muttered, “Now… While we’re figuring out how to make it look as if we haven’t been crying all over each other in here, you better tell me everything you know about this Xander girl. Because my son has it bad for her.”
I snorted and sent her a look. “Hell, yes, he does.” And I proceeded to spill all the tea.