30. Hope
30
HOPE
I got not one but two tattoos on Friday, a plain number four in Roman numerals on the insides of both of my feet just under my ankles to commemorate the completion of number four on my bucket list.
And just as I was leaving the shop, Alec called to ask if I could do something to try to cheer up his new roommate.
“You were so good with Xander last night at dinner,” he wheedled. “She actually smiled. I think that was the first time I’ve ever seen her happy.”
Honestly, it had been him who’d made her smile. I wasn’t sure why he thought I’d done anything. But he begged me anyway, so I caved with a pathetic sigh.
I mean, it wasn’t like I didn’t understand her pain. I’d been dumped before. And I hadn’t just been dumped a couple of times. I’d been dumped every time I’d ever dated anyone. So yeah…
“I’ll try,” I told my brother.
“Really?” His surprise made me scowl.
“Of course.” I’d do anything for him. Why was he so stunned?
“Thank you, Hope. God, you have no idea. I’ll owe you one. I swear.”
I scoffed. He would never owe me anything. But I did appreciate the devotion.
So that afternoon, I schemed and enlisted the help of a few people, calling this Operation Forget-His-Ass. After explaining my plan to the girlfriends, all three ladies were totally in.
They arrived at a quarter ’til six with the supplies I’d requested, and we were kicking all the male residents—and non-residents—out the back door five minutes later.
“I don’t see why I have to leave my own damn house,” Keene whined as he followed Hudson, who was mouthing to Faith to tell him everything that happened tonight. “I pay fucking rent here.”
“Oh my God, just go,” Damien told him, pushing him along, while Alec met my gaze and smiled.
“Thank you so much. You’re the best. I?—”
“Yeah, yeah,” I told him with a grumble that morphed into an eye-rolling smile. “You still gotta go too.” I playfully shoved him out behind the rest before shutting the door and resting my back against it.
Once it was closed, I heaved out a long breath, then lifted my gaze to everyone left in the room.
Raina shook her fists in excitement and squeaked, “This is going to be so much fun.”
“Shh,” Faith warned, nudging her arm and casting a glance toward the opening of the kitchen that led into the living room, where Xander was still camped out on the couch, watching Hope Floats .
Raina winced. “Sorry.” Then she turned back to me and whispered, “This is going to be so much fun!”
I laughed and pushed away from the door. “Okay. What do we have to work with?”
With conspiring grins, Oaklynn, Faith, and Raina rushed to the table where they had boxes and bags of things they’d collected.
Dumping them out, they immediately began to marvel over the supplies the other two had brought.
“Facial masks,” Raina exclaimed, picking them up as she bumped her arm into Faith’s. “Genius. I could only think of fingernail polish and makeup.”
“I raided Alec and Keene’s room for all their candy,” Oaklynn reported, showing off a pile of Twizzlers, gummy worms, candy bars, and Sour Patch Kids.
“Sweet,” I said in approval as I gazed over the loot. “What about accessories?”
“Sorry. Most of my stuff is boxed up at home in Plano.” Oaklynn lifted a long string of pearls. “But I found these.”
“That’ll work,” I answered with a nod.
“I had these and these.” Raina showed us a cowboy hat and boots.
“Ooh. I’ll wear those, thank you.” Faith promptly took them off Raina’s hands and in return asked, “You want any of this?”
Raina scanned over a pair of shades, huge hoop earrings, high heels, a black bow tie, and a silver tiara that said twenty-one birthday king with a matching sash.
“Hey, that’s the sash and tiara I got Hudson for his birthday last year.” Oaklynn sighed with a wistful note of nostalgia in her voice and reached out. “I want to wear those.”
“I’ll take on the rest.” Raina scooped the remaining haul into her arms.
No one had been able to scrounge up a feather boa, but Raina had brought a red neck scarf that Faith put on. I pulled on some oven mitts, and Oaklynn dug up a pair of yellow cleaning gloves from under the kitchen sink.
Then we did up our hair and faces.
I gave myself a French braid while Faith placed glittery, silver star stickers around her eyes and fluffed her hair into a big-ass, awesome ’fro. Raina pulled her hair up into bubble pigtails, while Oaklynn slicked hers back into a high pony before attaching the king crown. Then she fixed on fake extended eyelashes and fingernails. And I went overboard on the makeup, slathering on neon green eyeshadow and extending my eyeliner at least half an inch from the edge of my eyes. Finally, I colored the ends of my braid with hair chalk, giving myself pink, blue, and orange streaks.
By the time we were done, we looked like the ridiculous adult version of Fancy Nancy.
“Perfect,” I said, nodding my approval.
Raina clapped silently, still excited. “I love it.”
“I wish someone had done this for me when I got dumped,” Faith added.
“I’m starting to wish I’d gotten dumped at least once so someone could do this for me,” Oaklynn commiserated as she helped me fluff the tulle tutu I was wearing.
I sent her a dismayed blink. “You’ve never been dumped? Not even once?”
“You lucky bitch,” Faith charged.
Oaklynn only shrugged. “Well, technically Damien’s my first boyfriend. I never actually dated before him. I was more of a catch-and-release, party kind of girl.”
Raina patted her back sympathetically. “I guess we’ll have to do this for you when Damien dumps you, then.”
“Bitch,” Oaklynn warned with lifted eyebrows. “Don’t even joke about that.”
Raina snickered, and Faith and I joined in, laughing, only to hush ourselves so that Xander wouldn’t try to wander in here and see what all the commotion was about before we could surprise her on our own.
“Okay, are we ready?” I whispered.
The others nodded, and we tiptoed toward the living room.
Xander was still on one of the couches, watching Hope Floats —the scene where Birdee was on her date with Justin Matisse and touring the house he was building. Xander’s pale hair was swept up in a sloppy ponytail, more of it hanging down than had actually been captured in the scrunchie, and she was blowing her nose with a tissue.
Alec had been right. The poor child needed help.
Glancing back at Faith, Raina, and Oaklynn to make sure they were set, I nodded when they gave me a thumbs-up.
It was go time.
So I prompted my phone to play “I Can’t Get Next To You” by the Temptations, just the way they’d played it in the movie she was watching, so Xander would know for sure that all this was for her.
She glanced around in confusion and blinked at me as I strutted into the room first, lip-synching the words into the plastic star wand I was using as my microphone.
“What…?”
I pointed at the tooth I’d blacked out the same way Sandra Bullock had just as Faith joined the fun next, doing a country line dance into the room and tipping her cowboy hat jauntily before Oaklynn followed in her sash and tiara, and Raina popped in last, striking some hip-hop move that proved she had to have been on some kind of dance team at some point in her life.
“Oh my gosh,” Xander gasped when she realized what was happening. “You guys…”
She covered her mouth with both hands before laughing and crying simultaneously.
We went through the whole song, forcing Xander to join in, before I sank to the floor, worn out. Raina collapsed beside me while Faith and Oaklynn sank into a side chair together.
A stunned Xander merely stood there, shaking her head before she perched herself on the back of the couch. “That had to be the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.”
“Well…” Raina nudged my arm as she leaned against me and panted, trying to catch her breath. “It was Hope’s idea.”
Xander’s gaze went to me, and she smiled through her tears. “Thank you.”
I could only shrug, feeling strangely bashful. But it wasn’t often that people thanked me. They were usually too busy cussing me out for some mischievous thing I’d done. “We’ve all been where you are,” I said lamely.
“Well, most of us have, anyway,” Faith muttered, nudging Oaklynn’s arm and calling her out.
“Hey, Damien and I had a huge, blow-out fight once that split us up for a good minute,” she argued. “And it was honest-to-goodness the worst three days of my life.”
“Speaking of which,” I said, returning my attention to Xander. “Damien, along with everyone else living here who has a penis, has henceforth been exiled from the premises for the remainder of the evening. Ergo, girls’ night has officially begun.”
“Girls’ night?” Xander asked with lifted brows.
I nodded. “Yeah, makeovers, junk food, and all the hot gossip. You in?”
“I mean…” She glanced at the four of us and bobbed her head. “Definitely.”
“Great!” I clapped my hands and then rubbed them together. “Go take a shower. You’re going to be the first victim.”
An hour later, we had Xander sitting at a chair that we’d pulled away from the kitchen table and stationed in the center of the room, where Raina was standing in front of her, applying makeup; Faith was behind her, curling her hair; and Oaklynn sat to one side in another chair, painting her fingernails.
As for me, I’d plopped myself on the floor to give her a pedicure.
“This is so much fun,” Raina repeated for, like, the hundredth time tonight. “And how in God’s name is your skin so clear? Has this face even met a zit?”
While Xander scoffed and answered, “Of course,” Faith hummed low in her throat.
“Girl, forget her face. Are you getting a load of this hair? I mean, look how easy this shit is to curl.” She pulled the curling iron free of a lock, only for it to bounce into the perfect spiral. “Fucking unfair.”
“And how in the world do you get your nails to grow so damn long?” Oaklynn groused as she blew on the hand she’d just finished.
“Um, I drink milk,” Xander answered timidly.
“I’m starting to think she’s not real,” I claimed from the floor as I clipped away at her pinky toenail. “I mean, I’m working down here on her feet, and they don’t even stink.”
“Because I just took a shower,” she laughed, lifting the foot I wasn’t working on to taunt me in the face with it.
I sputtered and shoved it out of my way, making her laugh and pull it back before sighing in delight. “You guys really don’t have to compliment me just to make me feel better, you know.”
“Hey, this is, like, a once-in-a-lifetime treat,” I warned her. “So just sit back and enjoy it while it lasts, will ya?”
“Yeah,” Raina echoed and lifted a gummy worm to Xander’s lips. “Another?”
“Mmm. Yes. Thank you.”
As Raina fed her, Faith started on a new curl and picked up a Twizzlers stick. “So what’s the story with this guy of yours, anyway?” she asked as she peeled the stick in half before stuffing one portion into her mouth. “Mmph. You sure are mourning him hard. He have a twelve-inch dick or what?”
Xander glanced up in surprise. “Who? Liam?”
Faith shrugged. “I don’t know. Is that your ex’s name?”
“Yeah,” Xander said softly. Then she shrugged. “I don’t know. He was the first and only boyfriend I ever had. I thought we were going to be together for the rest of our lives.”
“I thought that about my high school boyfriend too,” Raina mumbled lamely before she shrugged and brightened. “But thank God I was wrong about him. I never would’ve met Foster otherwise.”
“It’s just—we were so close. We did everything together, and I mean, absolutely everything. We even talked about getting married someday like it was already a given. So this came completely out of nowhere.”
When she choked out a hoarse sob, I rushed to ask, “Was he any good in bed?”
Xander tilted her head as if I were speaking a foreign language.
So I pressed, “Did he ever make you come?”
“Uh…yeah.” She blinked at me as if that should be obvious.
“Maybe that’s why this is so hard for you, then,” I said. “Not all guys can, you know. Make a girl come. I myself just had my first orgasm recently after being sexually active for three years and failing with six different guys before finding a winner.”
“Right on, sister,” Oaklynn cheered, giving me a high five. “It was nice, wasn’t it?”
“It was—” I drew in a long breath before admitting, “Life fucking changing. This guy is legit the orgasm king.”
“Woo-hoo,” Raina called.
“That’s what I’m talking about,” Faith added with an admiring nod.
I preened, deciding I liked girl talk. “Thank you.” I’d never actually had friends that I just hung out and gossiped with like this before. It was thrilling.
“Honestly,” I went on. “You have no idea how much of a struggle it was for me to hang out with you all tonight instead of tracking him down for another hookup.”
“Wow, I see where we rate,” Oaklynn gasped in mock outrage.
While Faith warned, “Hoes before bros, woman.”
And Raina sent me a raspberry, singing, “Boo,” as she threw a gummy bear at me.
Laughing, I picked up the gummy bear and popped it into my mouth.
“Keene told me the best way to get over Liam was to have a rebound hookup,” Xander said suddenly, biting her lip as she glanced at us. “I mean, I know he meant with him , but—I don’t know. Maybe it isn’t entirely a stupid idea. Except, gosh. Just thinking about being with anyone else right now makes me feel like a cheater. I mean, what if Liam came back tomorrow, and all I would’ve had to do was hold off for one more day to wait for him? I just—” Tears filled her eyes again. “I keep thinking he’s going to realize he messed up and come home any minute, begging me to forgive him.”
“I hear you, sister,” Oaklynn said softly. “A year ago, I would’ve been all forget that asshole . He fucked up. Just move on and enjoy life. But now that I’m with Damien, I—yeah. If he left me for any reason, I’d want to wait for him too. I’d wait for him forever.” Shaking her head slowly, she murmured, “That man’s in my blood.”
“So is Liam,” Xander croaked, her chin trembling.
I touched her knee and murmured, “Hey.” When she focused on me, I added, “I think the first time with someone else is going to be hard for you no matter how long you wait.”
She wrinkled her nose. “So you’re team rebound, huh?”
“I mean, not necessarily. But…” I shrugged. “Maybe. I just don’t want you to stop living your life because of him.”
On the other hand, I personally didn’t want to go looking for anyone else either, not after I’d been with Parker. So who was I to tell her to move on?
But this was Xander, and Alec was already halfway in love with her.
“You could do worse if you did pick Keene,” Raina spoke up.
“Or Parker,” Faith added, reaching for the last lock of hair to curl.
“Ooh. Parker.” Raina pointed and nodded. “Now that would be the ultimate rebound.”
“Yeah…” Oaklynn said slowly. “I’d probably vote for Parker over Keene too. He’d be all chill and casual about it. Keene might rub it in everyone’s faces and brag and make you regret ever meeting him.”
Xander furrowed her brow and shook her head, confused. “Which one is Parker again?”
“You know who I think you should pick?” I broke in, nodding to redirect the conversation. “My brother.”
Xander blinked down at me once before saying, “Alex?”
I opened my mouth to correct her that his name was Alec , but Oaklynn cried, “ What ?” before she burst out laughing. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“What is so funny about my brother?” I demanded.
Oaklynn sobered instantly. “I—I—nothing. I love Alec. He’s the best. I just didn’t realize he would be open to—you know—that kind of…arrangement.”
“I thought he was a damn virgin,” Faith said bluntly.
Raina nodded, pointing at Faith. “Same.”
“So what if he is?” I countered, lifting my brows in warning. Then I turned to Xander. “Just think about it. If he’s never been with a girl before, then he’d be super willing to please you…however you wanted. You could train him to do whatever you liked. You could go at any pace you wanted because he wouldn’t know the difference. You’d have all the control. And he’d happily follow your lead. He’d be like a fresh piece of clay that you molded into any shape you wanted.”
“Oh, I’d mold him a big dick,” Oaklynn decided with a nod. “Definitely.”
As the rest of us laughed, Raina tapped her chin thoughtfully.
“I mean, Alec definitely wouldn’t be a jerk afterward,” she allowed with a shrug. “While Keene would probably pester you for more, and Parker would cut out before you were ready for him to go, Alec would just…be grateful for whatever you gave him.”
“Huh,” Xander murmured with a slight squint. “I never thought of a virgin that way.” Then she glanced at me suspiciously. “Are you sure he’s never been with anyone else, though? He seems way too nice and good-looking for someone not to have snagged him yet?”
A slow grin spread across my face. I bet Alec would have heart palpitations if he heard that his dream crush had just called him handsome.
“I mean, I am his sister, so it’s possible he wouldn’t tell me,” I answered. “But yeah, I’m pretty sure he’s still carrying his V-card.”
“Yeah,” Oaklynn piped up. “I’ve lived with him for nearly a year now, and I’ve never caught a girl sneaking from his room, nor have I seen him stay anywhere else overnight.”
“Huh,” Xander repeated before going thoughtfully quiet.
Seeing her actually give Alec the consideration he was due, I was compelled to boost his image just a little bit more. “You want to know what the most amazing thing about Alec is?” I started. “His compassion. When I was fourteen, and he was thirteen, he donated some of his liver to me because mine was failing, and I was going to die without it.”
“Oh goodness,” Xander murmured with wide eyes.
“But that’s not even the best part,” I warned with lifted brows. “Afterward, we were put in the same recovery room together, and when I woke up from my surgery, all I could hear was him crying on the other side of the room. I guess he had it stuck in his head that giving me some of his liver would kill him, so he was upset to wake up alive.” Lifting my brows, I added, “He thought I must not have made it since he had.”
“Holy shit,” Xander breathed. “He’d been willing to die for you? At thirteen?”
When I nodded, Faith whistled. “Damn, girl. Why didn’t you share that part of the story last week at supper?”
I shrugged. “Alec gets embarrassed by it. He thinks he should’ve known better. So I leave it out around him, even though I think it’s the sweetest part.”
“Hell yes, it is,” Oaklynn agreed, and the others nodded along with her. “I had no idea he was so selfless.”
“Gah.” Raina shivered. “I can’t even imagine how scared he must’ve been going into that surgery, thinking he was never going to wake up again.”
“Or how brave,” Xander murmured, looking awed and impressed.
I hid my smile, glad my plan to warm her up to him seemed to be working, just as Faith announced, “Done,” and lifted her arms as if she’d just hog-tied a steer at a rodeo.
“Ooh, me too,” Raina said.
“I just have one more fingernail to paint,” Oaklynn reported as she finished the job.
“Well, I could be done if everyone else is,” I chimed in, lowering my clippers.
Curious about the overall outcome, Faith, Oaklynn, Raina, and I stood together and backed about six feet from Xander to examine our masterpiece.
“Damn, are we good or what?” Faith asked, nodding her approval as she lifted a hand to her left so Raina could slap it.
“We really are,” Raina agreed.
“This kind of work can’t just go to waste, though,” Oaklynn announced with her arms folded and one hand propped under her chin as she shook her head. “We need to take her out into public and flaunt this.”
Faith nodded, approving the idea. “And then you’ll see just how many other fish are out there in the sea when they all come swarming in to hit on you.”
Xander winced, looking uncertain. “Where…exactly do you want to go?”
Faith, Raina, Oaklynn, and I exchanged a questioning glance before I remembered, “Oh, hey. I drove by this bar and grill today that said it was having a karaoke night. How about we check it out?”
Oaklynn sighed. “I do love me some good karaoke.”
But Xander bit her lip. “I don’t know,” she hedged.
“We could begin safe,” I suggested. “Like invite our boys to meet us there. You could practice flirting with them while their presence intimidates most of the other guys away. I mean, we can definitely count on Keene to hit on you.” I winked at Xander. “And then, if you decide that’s too much, he’ll stop. Just like that. You can always trust him or any of the others to stop on command. They’re, like, the perfect guinea pig/starter kit to see if you can even stomach the idea of moving on.”
“Yes,” Raina praised. “I like it. Let’s do that.”
“I would like to see Hudson take a turn at karaoke,” Faith mused with a nod.
“I just want to see Damien, period,” Oaklynn said. “All this penis and orgasm talk got me missing him hard.”
And I wanted to see Parker. Even if it was just at the other end of a table where he’d be surrounded by the guys and I couldn’t even talk to him. I needed to be in his presence again.
“Not fair,” Raina whined. “Foster’s out of town for an away football game tomorrow. I won’t be able to see him no matter what.”
“Fear not.” Faith hooked her arm through Raina’s to jostle her into cheering up. “I’m sure Keene will happily hit on you too.”
Raina only rolled her eyes. “Oh Lord. Probably.”